Continuing with Indolence as the latin meaning as the equation of the parts of the word in meaning as being “ not suffer of give pain.”
So, my projection as my thought of not wanting to give pain is really not wanting to face pain, and specifically face discord, which is to disrupt social norma, these norms which are in reality disrupting a sense of here and accepting that the exception is not the norm.
I think of the statement, “ this is not the time to talk about this - or that” which is an avoidance tactic within being equal to here, as had this not existed then there would not be any problems as a lack, that accumulated to the point where it is not allowed in any daily conversation as in looking at reality, this reality as this physical being the gift of life. Thus, in every moment all there really is, is to interact in common sense of physical reality, which means looking at it. Again, problems arise to show what has not been looked at, thus to decide there is a time to look and not look is the problem.
So, if I allow an idea of potentially hurting another, as in causing discord within an inner belief, through bringing understanding, which is looking here at physical reality and how it functions, I am being within and as my mind, which I have allowed to exist in limitation. Had I not then I would not have thoughts of disrupting another and as I am this, what I am really doing is fearing my own inner disruption as any manner of things, such as rejection, or extreme reaction, or accusation - as I am seeing this from verbal interchange with another.
Within this, because of the amount of separation from common sense existent that is made obvious in behaviors of denying as social rules exist within defining what is allowed and what is not allowed in conversation, I am adhering as my own complaint within when I accept and allow a thought that I may cause another to suffer in questioning their box in and as presenting information about how we as humans are formed as mind, and thus presenting an awareness that questions opinion and belief as mind. This means that I fear losing an idea of myself, an idea that I use to support myself, validate myself. I remain as idea and am not standing equal to physical reality. Which is all I can do, no matter the avoidance of being here that the imagery of the mind cannot be as it is just a picture I allow to be energized as what directs me, here. My GPS as energized beliefs as mind being a directive instead of myself in common sense with what is the basis of all life, the physical world. My heaven - of limitation, my GPS- needs to be equalized to here, to the physical. My indolence is my inferiority to equality and oneness with and as life, my fear of letting go of values I have made resplendent as mind and used as a map to direct me, this a separation from life, I have allowed the inner to become greater than the outer, and because the inner is tenuous I not only fear losing this crutch turned into a habit, I also fear this being discovered and exposed as being incomplete. In essence I am not equal in practical common sense. Common sense is including all life, of which the physical is as the physical is life in substance so it cannot be denied as it is what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image in and as my mind of facing rebuttal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a rebuttal to become an end game, not seeing realizing and understanding that and end game is the acceptance of not looking practically here, at the physical in form and function within the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that words can hurt me, when words form ideas and ideas can be looked at in common sense of physical existence, as this the only choice, and thus words allow self to be directive within and as directing rebuttal as limited idea, as an inner world made bigger than an outer world back into a common sense of what supports the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not move within forgiveness when and as I find myself reacting to a rebuttal that is really a protection and defense of an inner world made bigger than an outer world as the physical.
I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that becoming righteous is becoming a limitation as it is seeking to be a more than instead of a follow through into and as humbling the expression into being equal and one to and as life here, to the point where equality and oneness within and as what expands in awareness of what supports physical understanding absolutely as this is the only choice.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and to breath the moment I sense within and as me a reaction of protection and defense in relation to the words of another as a fear of a mistake, which in all instance need only be forgiven and applied within the principle of what is best for all, where self breathes, and thus directs in consideration of what is best for all as in equalizing self expression as a movement that considers all life as the physical within and as what causes no harm and what realizes the structure of the physical as being the expression of life and as such to become equal and one to and as it, which can only happen here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my indolence is myself procrastinating within and as fearing that some belief I have about myself will be lost, as I have allowed an idea within and as me to become bigger than life, more than the physical world, this which I have accepted and allowed as being less than a projection as an idea in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I will be hurt through words, which is myself in limitation and thus unequal to common sense that is inclusive of physical reality, as the physical is what is real, is here, is to be included as being life, thus there is no less than, there is nothing that can be lost, as there is only the movement within and as me that is directive in and as expressing life which is to exist as the principle of what is best for all here.