Friday, May 1, 2015

Day 622 Am I the automation of my beliefs, opinions and ideas? Do I i consider all life?

So often I notice that I fear telling the truth, the real common sense measure of this physical real world where I live my life.. In little things even, as though making things clear  is somehow ‘ bad” or ‘ offensive’. Really a form of insanity on a practical physical world. If I want to get something done, I have to walk the practical measure of what it means, step by step to get that thing done. If I want to learn to play the violin, I have to become aware of the from of it, the mechanics of it. I mean, is this not how we learn to drive a car? Is this not how we learn to wash our clothes? Is this not how we learn to cook?
If I am driving down a road, and I see a scruffy looking dog who appears disoriented, is it not to do what I would want done for me were I the flesh and blood that is the same as me, as that dog? Is not a dog formed of cells and water and fats and minerals just as I am? How is it that men have ignored what is a starting point that is the same in all physical life? How is it that men, as all of us,  realize we must walk the steps to move our bodies into a washroom, turn on the hot water, pick up the bar of soap, move our arms in an up and down motion, as in walking the order of what it means to clean our bodies, and yet, not see, realize and understand that everything that happens on this earth is because the steps to order outcomes must be walked to complete a movement as what and how life works in a physical form?
How is it that we do not see and realize the obvious outcome of paying interest on money borrowed means moving the principle from the source as the labor and the material value. like a drain, into those lending with interest? How is it that we do not realize that this by design is a pyramid scheme that requires endless growth on a finite planet that can sustain itself if what is taken out circulates back, to once again transform into what should create value for the betterment of life?
That dog on the side of the road, had to walk, move though, situations, as measure of experience and exposure to come to exist in the lack that it is experiencing the measure of.
How is it that we cannot realize that the so-called veil, is that our inner experience is not equal to practical reality when we ignore that dog? How is it that we cannot see that we are not seeing this reality directly, when we ignore so many things that exist that are unacceptable all around us?
How is it that we ignore poverty and men who resort to crime and end up in prison, when so many of us, especially the middle class realize that we must educate our children through exposing them to opportunities in self development, as self refinement in inner measure, and yet, ignore that this is the way and the means to prevent lack in men? Saying ‘ I know” and then not acting upon this, is as negligent as being that cause directly of situations of lack, in any living form on this earth. They are no different.
As far as myself fearing to tell the truth, to look here, to realize that physical movements happened that lead to what exits here. There is no invisible hand, there is no iron fist, there is the reality of the measure of here as the physical. Our metaphysical metaphors are the signifiers of our ignorance and the sound of justification in our words. We are mis-using the gift of sound, distorting out communication. 
Today,, when I spoke up about something, I noticed this inability to look without, as I only looked at the words I spoke to stand stable in the form I wanted to convey, so concentrated on my words was I, to hold them, that little of me sensed the space and time of the world around me. It was just a moment, thus, I realized this on reflection in the next moment.
This is not something new to me. And yet, I know I am capable of this, after all playing in a group requires listening to the parts and the whole, which means I have the ability to sense the parts and the whole.  We all do, otherwise we would not be able to drive our cars. How far can we go if we realize real equality means focusing here, in total, our withins being equal to our withouts? Respecting what is here as this physical world that reaches its full potential when no lack is allowed?
What I repeat becomes me, it accumulates and then becomes a habit within me. If I judge, and then compare, where one thing is more than another, I become the state of ‘ measuring” that state of being, and I walk around in that measure, that act of comparison- based on ideas that I already habituated as something to define me. When I reject what does not suit my habit, my state of measure repeated until automated, just like being addicted to porn, I become a walking projection of that, and see only what supports that projection that ignores what is real, right here in front of me, what respects and enjoys differences, learns and expands in awareness from them. I become a persona of what I accept and allow. Through repetition I program what I am. If the measure is not a practice of equal consideration of the means of my being here, then I become unequal to the life that is this physical world.
If I see directly here, and absorb what is the movement and function and measure of something and take it for what it is without value judgements, then I am more grounded here, and more aware, and more able to direct myself in ways that consider things and receive them to realize actions that do no harm. This is really what my physical body is the means to be and do.
If my inner measure as my beliefs and ideas repeated and habituated are not what is aware of here, my within ordered to assess the without, then there builds a weight within me, a heaviness that cannot fit into directives that lack consequences I must eventually face and realign. 
All of this means that I am just like a computer, my memory can fill up, and that what my memory is, the measure of it, if it is not clear in seeing reality directly,  I cannot process the information of my living here, and have many miss-takes that end up not fulfilling the real sensory potential of myself, and because of this, I create my own insecurity and have a hard time being truthful, because I have become the habit of my separation as the measure I repeated and programmed into me. 
If I punish myself, or what ever measure is here, as in resisting mis-measure,  I am not standing with what is real;  the only solution is to stand as what is real here, being directive within this. To realize, within each moment, that I create who and what I am within what I accept and allow. And, that in every moment I can ground myself here. And no matter what, remain present despite what ever habituated memory validates its measure within or without as behaviors, which must need be done because this is not being aligned within to the without as the means of living, the physical, this that is always right here, present, life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to be truthful.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the measure as belief, opinion and idea within and without, as this is a measure of equal-standing phy-si-cal life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, for example, to judge myself as being more based on what model of car I drive, or on how my appearance is received within a system that is the accumulation of limited measures of values  causing an inner attention to comparison in the order of that limited value instead of, as in these instances, being thankful for having a car, and or respecting having clothing and the ability to have clean hair, taking care of the body, and instead of being comparison with an end judgement of distain, to avoid, to instead assess and direct in ways that do no harm, realizing that each has the capacity to investigate and reorder through being practical here, with the aid of the physical showing the way in every moment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being the practice of common sense of reality as what I am the perfect form as physical living to be and to do.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to listen to hear the form within of another, and within this to allow self discovery, and self awareness, and to realize that in remaining focused here, in physical life, as life would be an information,  being truthful as in being self honest, is being equal to the measure of practical reality, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be oblivious to the practice of physical living here, the means and way of being life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being in creation, means to walk the measure of the practice of physical living here.
When and as If ind myself resisting here, as in behaviors of rejection or resistance, i stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself as in equalize myself to the measure of reality, and I assess what I am allowing and accepting as a measure as the experience I have labeled in judgement as my past, as a belief about here, and I move into and as, in thought word and deed that which respects and considers  all life, as the physical form here that is the means of my existence, to see, realize and understand what is best for all.
When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed within and as bringing myself back down to earth, as in conveying the practice of living on a physical planet, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess and investigate what is here, right in front of me, becoming the moment of here, as it is here that I can equalize myself back into being life.
When and as I find myself reacting to belief, opinion and idea, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that such is a measure of under-standing that must self realize and have the space and time to reground, thus reaction in terms of such defining me,  exists only if I accept and allow it, as I am life, the means to ‘ turn the tide,’ the form of my accepted and allowed belief, to slow way down and sense what is the directive as the practical steps, as the practice of living in consideration of all things as me, as I am here.

When and as I sense a weight as a movement as something that does not fit into here, as a sense of feeling overwhelmed, or anxious, of fearful, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I take the time and space to investigate myself equal and one to and with life here, as this I slow down and take in the information in front of me, assess and ground myself here in thought, word and deed.

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