Remaining calm and the illusion of the mind consciousness system. Day 723

There have been moments in my life where I remained calm in certain situations. This means in practice that I did not react to something someone said, these being actions where I resisted and rejected what was said - actions of spite and blame - which is pushing what someone has said away in a form of defense about that given answer or reaction of response. 

Instead, I simply remained calm and assessed what was around me in a more practical way and then directed within that practical application. Often this meant being sympathetic yet not ONLY accepting that sympathy as an end game. This means taking that measure, that belief, that dogma, that math as an idea, usually charged with emotion, as value judgements- always having a rushing quality ( easier to see in those moments of calm for WHAT IT IS WITHOUT JUDGEMENT)  and grounding it in reality. Meaning spelling out in words what would quiet that emotion and give it simple qualifiers towards making fears solvent and making the steps towards solution real real real simple. 

This kind of ‘ state of being’ is usually easier when I have learned this for myself, meaning I have removed mystery, and instead tell of an actual real lived process of moving beyond emotional storms of gloom and doom and fear and loathing ( reactions based on a fear that something can define who and what I am). In telling my story of movement outside of emotional reactions, having walked some practical application, the emotional storm becomes downsized and manageable. The illusion of it becomes so visible and the size of it becomes what it really is, which is really very small, that in the moments of calm, the sense of emotional reactions having no real power is greater and therefor not something to feel threatened by in any way. This lends in this understanding a natural ability to be calm.

Yet, why did I not apply this in all areas of my life? Why what I have been in one scenario I have not become in another? Why, over  time, and practice in living, has it taken me years to realize this to the extent that I practice this more and more? What is it that I allowed - because no one else accepted this for me but ME -  what I so readily see as an illusion in certain moments in my life? It was that same belief, opinion, idea that is a changed value judgement about something manifest as behavior of a loss of a sense of the practical. It is myself living a persona instead of remaining present in the practical - in being equal and one to this reality. 

I mean people, we have had generations attending public schooling and church services. What is in our minds is never reality, it is always about here, it is pictures about here, about this world, it is never ever what is actually physical HERE. Everything that is a thought, that is a projection, that is something coming from within our selves ONLY, is an illusion.

It really is time to stand and say this out loud again and again and again.  The degree of your processing of information ability is the degree of your/our/my presence and problem solving skills.

If you fear driving your car into a city, then you have lost your natural ability to conceptualize HERE! You have lost touch with reality. You have lost your SELF to an illusion of your own construction by acceptance and allowance. The greater your reaction to people, the greater your separation from reality. The greater your inability to change, the more stagnant you are in habituated structures.  You can hear this in the words you speak, and we all know this!  A busy-ness in accepting this in others is equal to the degree within which one expends all one’s life presence into an illusion, and the greater the loss of being able to place one foot in front of another absent a fear of falling!  The greater your inability to navigate this existence, manifest as behaviors of denial as in ‘ I can’t” for which you drag everyone else down with you, the greater is that tiny thing that is an illusion you have accepted and continue to inflame within and as YOU.  The greater the inability to process information the greater the illusion that is what is the distance between you and what is a natural and real ability to process reality, the real information of life.  And remember parents, the children absorb this in great detail if you are moving as an illusion! 

We become what we practice. What we practice becomes automated within our flesh as the math/measure/belief we accept and allow and repeat. When that math is not equal to the practice of a physical formation as reality, then the information that is us, cannot direct us effectively in reality.  When our actions of ‘ paint the fence’ as the small, are not with every breath cross referenced, to always check as respect reality, we can forget what we have automated as repeated as information that is always about something as what comes to program us. If that information is accepted without question, as without always giving attention to this reality, then that information programming us, as it automates us, can end up causing actions that do not fit into this reality.  If we force that mis-information on reality, we become by design cognitively dissonant from reality. If we continue to force this, we lose our natural ability to conceptualize life. Our within, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, become an illusion that we believe to be more real than life. 

Being calm is a cool marker of where one is at. Because, if one cannot become calm in a moment as this is where one reads what is here, being still like calm water, to take on the form of reality, to reciprocate reality, then one is not a master of one’s self. 

Why is it that the media uses so much drama, as gloom and doom made HUGE? Why is so much FEAR touted? Because that state of calm, is so powerful by the nature of it so able to cross reference within and without and move directly into problem solving with such steadiness of purpose that no manner of illusion can block that more direct state of seeing!

We, each and every one, have experienced this natural state of being within us. If we can remember those moments of calm, we can realize those moments of living illusion instead of life. we can begin to process the contrast of being calm and not being calm. And to realize, a passive aggressive calm is a form of suppression, it is not calm. Check the turmoil within!

We can begin to directly explain this to others through indirect actions. This means to share our stories of those moments we remained calm and made the illusions small,  creating actions that problem solved and grounded us in practical actions that were simple to carry out.  Illusion is no mystery as this is a play on words; ‘ mystery’ is really ‘ my storied’ information of which I through acceptance and allowance authored.  In other words, I/you am the one who awe-thor-ed the illusive mist-story/my story/mystery revealed through the degree of the loss of my ability to conceptualize reality! The greater my inability to move with presence and lack of fearing to do things HERE, in this reality, the greater the acceptance of an illusive mystery within and as how I have automated information that is me here.

The solution. Know the math, measure, song, mystery novel one has scripted as information within and as the imagination, as mind, write it out, remove the charged value judgements and script , or rebuild, the math of being present here, in this physical and practical reality that is right here, to ground yourself into life, into living. Relate yourself to HERE. Build a relationship to life as who and what you really are. 

Day 631 Acceding to the words/measure of another. Self Responsibility

Authority.

Accede, to agree to another’s opinion. When one agrees without evaluation of what is being acceded to, means that one, by not reflecting on what is presented, understanding the form and investigating to become self responsible, will lose one's authority of self as life. Everything presented within and as the speech of men, is, overall, a metaphysical construction, because human language, is a picture of something. This means that when something is expressed through words, as human language, as it now stands, is an expression of the form of something in reality - or an idea about an alternate reality that no one has ever lived to describe in great detail. Thus, when another person speaks, through written, spoken or televised form, if not reflected upon and checked, and instead only accepted, what each of us is essentially doing , is accepting a description of this physical world. The very basis of human language is a meta-physical construction. Perhaps this is why dogs and animals can find their way across thousands of miles of terrain, and yet, humans would need all the lettered signs along the way. I mean, are dogs using the signs of the physical world in ways that us worded sign readers are not? I do not think that dogs are reading the signs on the road, but then I could be wrong, perhaps they, the dogs, read both. lol

Thus in reality, when we only listen to what someone says and do not self honestly investigate what is communicated from another person, we accede through inaction. This means that we are not being the authority of our ability to sense the world around us. We must be capable of this, because after all, we did learn to crawl, and to walk, and to talk. This development, is , overall, a signature of being able to sense. 

There have been many times in my life, where I only listened, as I was taught this action- to sit down and shut up. I did not stop to realize that in accepting without question, or reflection, that I was acceding to what was spoken. When someone speaks, it is a form, it is defining here, thus, what another speaks is my responsibility to cross reference and consider what was being said and to investigate overall.

In business, it is said that a good leader, includes all the employees in the running of a business. This would empower the employees and, of course, develop the employees, asking them to look and to question and to participate. Since stress and boredom tax the human spirit, the non-use of our ability to sense form conveyed abstractly through words,  means that a man who is focused is more at ease, as this is that same ability that, when developed, can convey clear forms of description through words, which means that each would feel more self empowered and fulfilled if what is presented via words as human communication, would be an action of assessing the form, investigating its implied or direct description and making a decision about that presented. This means, that each of us has the ability to do what is best for all, as in perhaps using a mean to find a common denominator, but also ensuring that no externalities existed.  One can ignore what does not fit into an equation, as what words become as a description of something, yet, eventually, those lose ends will accumulate and lead to the eventual outcome of reorganizing to clean up the accumulated elements that have gone no where.

Overall, we all have the ability to consider what is presented, and only accede after assessing and investigating practical application of abstract forms communicated as words. If we accede to another’s words, time would need to be spent with the person we accede to, because we have no other way of realizing someone is worth following. Yet even here, it is our responsibility to be self responsible.

Unfortunately, we all have acceded our ability to be responsible, and a system has built up around this lack, that to change this, would mean that many will have to stand together, consistently, to build trust to have the sound structure as words, as forming abstract reflections of reality that cannot be broken down, in order to change into a system that realizes the importance in every action, of doing what is best for all. This would mean every point could be trusted. It also means that each is in full focus here. This would manifest as great joy, because we are fulfilled when we are using our innate capacity to sense the world around us. This would mean not only hearing the words of another, but also hearing their relationship to all things, meaning, how what is metaphysically presented, as how humans speak at the moment,  considers and respects this practical reality, this reality that is physical and where we are living/being/existing.

A brilliant design if used and respected. Yet, would this not be what life would be? 

Day 630 Looking at Authority as the Politeness of Society

Looking at Authority.

As I move around in society, I realize so much is expressed through emotional values, like a really long duration of touting good, and/or bad. The impetus of value touting. The whole construct of ‘ politeness’ when talking with others, a good, taking up space and time overall. It is cool to acknowledge things we experience as pleasant, and to speak up about new ‘ measures ‘ of reality we have not encountered. Like, seeing a combination of colors in an outfit, finding it pleasant and making a comment about it, sharing in our joy of discovery.

Yet, this same state of being, as expressing a emotion and/or feeling about something, can be used to hide, to occupy, to evade, to distract as in quibble about one detail turned into a segue to avoid really looking at the whole and the parts. One way I see this, is how I have used this myself, to avoid looking at something, turning a conversation away from really looking  ( rejection), because I was inferior to what was of real value, not wanting to be responsible for understanding something because I feared an idea as to how I would be defined, and the consequences of my imagined label/story/outcome. So, it is like I feared to look, and then I practiced this non-looking, and had to continue to hide my own accepted lack of response ability. And, because I learn through spaced repetition, and program myself as such - as in how one learns to play an instrument, I became that movement, as that measure! And simply because I feared being labeled as an idea only! Then, that mis-take, as in not looking, as in fearing what was real, of facing this same action in another because it is supposedly not-polite to go into detail, to clear understanding, as this is a counter movement overall of that same politeness touting as a huge out of proportion social value, I am going to have to practice being straight and spend time correcting this, as correcting a mis-take that has been practiced, takes longer to learn that having learned something correctly in the first place! 

So, not being responsible, and hiding a fear, which is not having enough information to be clear, can accumulate as a behavior, and will take more time to correct than if one had been honest from the beginning! 

One could say that one loses one’s authority, because one becomes insecure because the value touting, has no real responsibility in practical application, it is only pointing out qualities, like being a state of critical thinking only, and endlessly so, never moving into creative rebuilding, or creative possibility, realizing the value, the quality and living it. Thus, the values, within society become smaller and smaller, because so much time is spent on values of what one is only, as in points of definition, in comparison, never moving back into the real value being in expression, in form, as life, as physical reality, here. Of course, such a system would become smaller and smaller in what values were considered a ‘ value’ because the practice is only on a singular value in a moment, thereby losing a sense of all the values that compose this world around us. A lack of practice into the whole and the parts, means a lack of building perception of the whole and the parts. We become what we practice, if we practice, as repeat, limited insights, then we limited our perception. And when we limit our perception, we become insecure, because we are not equal in understanding to the whole. And then, that insecurity feeds on itself, because we are secure when we are grounded in the whole and the parts, and insecure when we are not, we are secure when we reference what is real, and insecure when we are a reference of ONLY limited parts. Thus hiding reality as this physical state of being, meaning to not consider all values as qualities of physical living, leads to more and more insecurity, and as a behavior, a society that has a social etiquette of touting values about little things endlessly, over all-ways bringing back what is noted, as brought forward in communication into the whole, into what is practical, as in what supports each and builds a security in living a life of full potential. Thus in every act each of us lives, we decide to choose life, a full life, or to choose that limitation, a value that is a value, but when used as a screen to hide, to manipulate, we end up only creating insecurity, and very limited comfort zones- these we can realize in how we remain within very limited social circles, which is fearing to let go of our limited values that we have allowed to define us, and instead becoming a behavior of protection of those values, seen in the borders of class, culture, nationality,  etc.. So, we become protectors of limitation, rejecting anything that does not fit into our practiced idea. Thus, the very words we speak, will always, in all ways, reveal the very accepted and allowed measure of and as us, because it is what we have practiced.
Overall, when I face this, I find I sometimes have a hard time moving against this ‘ storm’ of value touting in limitation without moving into what the value leads to as a consequence on a physical world overall, because what I do effects the whole. It is like I go into this grey area, having to move against what is considered polite, as this elongation of touting a value, which turns a value into a protection screen, which is no longer a real value. I have allowed myself to be so conditioned as this, meaning being excessively polite ( because there is nothing ‘ wrong’ with acknowledging what is awe inspiring around us - I am talking about measured length here) that is at times feels like this huge entity that I have to move against and I get lost in the idea of this because I did not slow down enough to realize what a spaced repetition as this does to the building of a person and their expression on earth. I created my own resistance of the paranormal, the metaphysical state of being in the people around me, because I did not remain here, present. I was too busy wanting to tell my own story of hiding, using values to make sure I am defined in ways that allow my own survival, not slowing down to realize others were doing the same. Creating resistances to seeing directly, so busy with my ideological self. I separated from myself as life.

Yet, this means, though it will take time, that I must reground myself here, looking at the parts and reconstructing,  myself, my reflection ability of life within, and taking the time to look at the real world around me, respecting it, and realizing that the behaviors of those around me are the same, different measures, but caught in the same process of separation, into limitation, where the parts are not “ bad’ but within being in limitation, an action that is destructive, because ignored qualities are left behind, in a world where one size does not fit all that is needed to support a physical world filled with so many qualities to give all of us the palette needed to reach our full potential as life.

There is no competition. There is here, and the measure of here, as accepted and allowed separation from what enables a practical action that considers all things, is right here in front of us, and usually it is what moves with ease, gently, like water.

Day 548 Personalities within a group meeting.

I notice three personalities come up this past week, and I have had a tension headache ever since.

One was a projection into the future, a desire to make some headway, the second was a  past personification of failure, as in fear of making a mistake, and the third was a dislike for a certain figure in the group which was based on a fear of not being listened to by a position of authority.

Within this, I notice a subsequent physical symptom returning.

I had to slow down and breath, realizing that I was present to take one step forward only. This was accomplished. So, why am I allowing this reaction within?

First, I realize it was not a situation/scenario to accomplish an expectation I had within myself. So, I can let this go. But the reaction I had within myself is the issue.

The thought was that I did not know how to approach these people, and within this, I became anxious, even though I told myself that I was there to meet people and nothing else. This was simply a step to another step, which ended up working out.

The meeting was not exactly what I had been told the meeting was, so there was this as well, which was okay. There ended up being a speaker who talked most of the time, and not too long after many people left. 

Even though I used some common sense, still there was this personification of myself feeling like I did not know how to speak with others.

As long as I am wanting to achieve a goal and measure myself within having completed the goal, I missed realizing all the steps in between and so, jumped ahead of myself, overwhelmed myself and was not present in the moment. 

I noticed that I had back chat about the people who were present and wanted to blame them for my uncertainty. So, I slowed down and breathed, and realized that my mind will miss-steps within a process, and if I allow myself to follow the measure of my mind, I think only of myself, and not only separate myself from common sense, but also, create my own friction within communication with others. This is the survival me, the person who wants to succeed. And then in my mind I am like the hissing of a snake instead of looking at practical reality.

I also noticed another personality, one that blamed myself, jumping into a conclusion that I cannot communicate, burdening myself with a feeling of un-worth. But here, the polar opposite of the righteous character,  I was not of equal measure to common sense, to space and time. Within this, I can only realize how the physical works and the measure of separation that is in others that is the same as myself, in a world where men have a cognitive map, an abstract composed of bits and pieces of aspects of practical reality, that are racing within as mind, a composition of limited measure of what is real, the physical world, a suit of hierarchy.

Then, facing the “authority” in the room. Here, based on my past, I wanted to avoid talking with this person, because I believed that one mis-step and all communication would be dismissed and cut off. 

This is myself being doom and gloom based on an idea from a past that I am allowing to define me, and it's not myself in common sense here. So many times I imagine things before they happen, and I am so busy imagining them that I either do not prepare, as some situations need some preparation, or am embarrassed and/or surprised when my idea is not the outcome.

I have lived long enough to know this is true, so I have countered this at times. But, here I was on this day, in a moment, separating from just being practical and enjoying myself. 

So, when I find myself in such a situation, I have to slow down, breath, and realize that as a physical being on a physical formation as what life would be, that I can be here, in common sense of how the physical works. I need not fear what is in separation from common sense of practical physical reality, because in essence what we all seek is right here, right in front of us, and this is the same that allows one to walk through the eye of the needle, which is to be equal and one with and as the physical which simply means to be equal in measure and thus respectful of common sense to the way and the means of life, which is the physical world.

(And, this is in common sense, I mean one does not walk into some of the consequences of a system of inequality, a system of survival that is abusing the gift of life that is the physical world). 

Day 515 The worth and quality of life is earth in equality.

I was looking at the word ‘judges.” and the verb of this word is ‘ to estimate worth or quality.” The noun being an authority who is able to estimate worth or quality. To judge is to form a critical opinion of something.

So, our authorities set these laws to follow because they have critical skills and authority, which means they see and they author what worth and quality is, and the form playout of this on earth.

Earth/worth. They sound the same. And the word ‘quality’ is very similar to ‘equality.’

We have so much authority in our system, it is the process of writing laws, deciding what is of worth, and how to create a balanced quality of life.

Yet there are protests all around the globe at present. So, our authorities are not doing their jobs, and we keep protesting and asking those who are not doing their jobs to do their jobs. Which means that overall something is  missed ( mist=insubstantial). Our authorities are not seeing the worth and the quality that is here and ordering this in ways that sustain balance. Were there balance on earth then there would be no protest.

Can’t blame the consequence, can’t blame the protestors alone. Punishing the protestors is not addressing the reactive behaviors, it is just seeing all this reaction that is happening around the globe/earth as some annoying movement that will not behave correctly. It is like the supposed authors/authority  simply do not want to look at the whole and realize where the problem is, a picture/idea has been authored and they ‘know’ and if things do not fit into that ‘knowing’ then it is the fault of this thing not fitting in, when it is to realize something is not being looked at. 

The answer is always in the sound, in the words. Worth. Quality. Earth. Equality. All things of this physical world must be considered. Humans can be ‘happy’ with enough food, enough room to become aware of this earth. Basic Income studies show that they will send their children to school/educate their children, and will take care of their homes/shelter and will be creative - meaning solve problems and find innovative ways of doing things when at ease, and some point out that humans work less with a basic income, a mis-take, because there is more to life than work that brings in income, there is the work of practical living, and in our present system, practical living does not always bring in money. So more attention is given to family. A basic income does not stop men from working, and what we have allowed to be work as bringing in money, is not the only ‘work’ of life.

We can look at our production capacity, it over time becomes more efficient, freeing one up from that aspect of reality.This is the process of creation, understanding and fine tuning new forms. But if a human cannot be this and is confined, naturally the life within will protest, will seek new forms to expand, will survey its world and realize the limitations. This is the nature of life, even greed uses this to move forward. Because creation is a physical manifestation, as it would be in common sense, creation would self regulate, seeing what has formed and how to form new things that are efficient and author full potential of life expression. 

So, one cannot suppress life, it will inherently protest and seek expression, but at the same time, it does not need excess to be itself as life.So, our authorities are stagnant and blame the consequences of life being itself, which makes no sense.

Our so called authorities have to give up the ‘golden egg’ and let it hatch. The structures of our government system must allow the potential of life to develop. This is life in self regulation, and the protests will end.

The worth and quality of life is the quality of life information as the physical world known as earth. It is each point of the physical manifestation of life that when allowed its life expression would regulate earth. It is the limitations imposed that are of limited values that thwart and cause discord. These values are not good or bad, but limited and as such suppress life because we need only look at earth and see that there are many many many values. If we ignore these values, and call them externalities than why can’t we see that these externalities will protest and that were they not protesting life as this physical manifestation of life as earth, would be in balance, self regulating as is the real nature of life because life would creation!

One cannot create a limited image and likeness of what man should be and then try to force that form as man into a monocultural ideology. It will not work. Moving all the capital of earth, as the resources into this ideology will create massive protest from life, of which men are a quality of and as.

Our authorities have to give back to all parts of earth what is needed for men to live in dignity, where each man has what allows the life that is that man to fulfill itself, and an environment that is cared for and allow men to self sustain themselves , which the human machine is capable of doing and being. It is only suppression that causes the expression of life that is that formation of life to react and become behaviors of venting limitation. LImiting life will end up as all focus being regulating that suppression. All expression moves towards regulating suppression and consumes the principle that is life in the process. We see this happening all over the earth. This is the consequence of a limited idea of what worth is, a selection of values that are not all values, and the physical is the value because it is the manifestation of life.

If one cannot see this, then one has become zombified with limited values, One must begin to see the limited values accepted as a self definition, an illusion as a belief that these values is all there is. This is an inner construct that pushes away anything that is not that monopoly of a limited collection of values. And our authorities are blaming life for not conforming to these limited values, when life cannot do this, it simply will not work.

Practically speaking, money must be allowed to all, enough to meet basic needs, to give life its expression back, because this is the best regulation of life. 

Regulation of the environment can only happen on the ground, someone in an ivory tower, built of the tucks of elephants ( thereby destroying the elephant), cannot see what is needed on the ground, and data that uses a means to decide ignores all aspects because it defines through division into what appears to be a common denominator on paper but not on the ground. This is simply trying to move earth into easily controlled bits, which is someone playing god, and one, or a few, cannot be a god, because ‘god’ can only be that which creates, is creation and creator at the same time, which is the manifestation of life, as the physical, composed of and as creator and creation in equality as the gift of life, in movement, breathing, sensing, being, here, all of this substance working in tandem as all as one as equal, where each part is individual, yet one at the same time. A measured  limited value system as being a worth of quality is limited,  life and creation as men regulates as self awareness capacity allowed full expression/comprehension, which is each individual part respected and individual yet one in respect of all values, as this is how one value can exist to join and create an expression of life, here.

I suggest those in ivory towers, come out and equalize with the ground as the physical earth. the story of the tower of Babel ( a babel of limited values - many call ego) is ourselves revealing to ourselves what we have accepted and allowed that is ourselves in separation from life.

Each human has an innate ability to see what sustains and as such what is of worth and creates quality, which can only happen with direct interaction with the physical world. 

Day 266 Fear of speaking Thought dimension

I notice when I practice that I have a presence of someone watching me, my father or a “master teacher.” It is like I am waiting for the criticism and trying to gage this before it comes, looking for praise. So much so that I am not really focusing on what I am doing. I am paying attention to what another is thinking about me and what I am doing. This seems so huge and daunting. I have been doing this for a long time. Reminds me of being little and wondering where my father was in the house. Always this awareness. And the fear is unnecessary, as I have faced the criticism and lived through this, and even stood up for myself, and learned somewhat to direct myself despite this. What would happen is this presence of fear of criticism were brought back to myself , as myself directing myself? I can see where I cannot speak within this, my focus is not on speaking, not on myself, as being myself. My judgement is based on the response of another. I can sense this fear of letting this go, as though this is a protection I don’t want to give up. There is also a positive polarity attached to this, where I accept this as being okay because I will receive praise when I do well according to the judgement of another. This is placing a positive value onto/over a starting point of fear, a disconnect from myself as life, in self honest self direction as life. This then is a loss of common sense as myself directing myself absolutely being aware of myself equal and one to what is physically here, the only place I can direct myself. I can only deal with a “criticism” when it is given, and when it is given, I can then assess the common sense of it and direct myself, within what is best for all, within awareness of how the physical interaction as myself in common sense works, so expectation of criticism, sometimes masked as wanting praise, is pointless. This must stop within myself as I move, as the physical is here, and all I can do in common sense is look and begin to understand it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that being an expectation of criticism is a separation from common sense, as being in expectation is a state of separation from myself here being equal and one to and as what I am as a physical human being.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself into and as a projection of expectation, believing that I must protect myself having judged myself as “going to be criticized”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear criticism, to within this see, realize and understand that the physical moves in understandable ways, and thus what I can do is, in common sense, move with and equal to what is physically here, and direct myself here, even in the face of criticism.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a parent has expectations of a child that are themselves demands lacking an awareness of being one and equal to and as the physical and how this functions having not been raised to understand, and be equal to themselves as the physical and are themselves in fear, being separate from common sense of the physical and thus, have expectations without understanding the necessary steps to and towards self development in specificity that is patient and guiding, and thus make demands that they themselves have no practical awareness of.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in trying to meet demands that are not specific, confusion sets in, much like an animalbeing trained to perform, where the trainer forces the animal having no understanding of the physical, no communication in common sense of the physical, no intimacy equal and one to the actual physical in detail, and thus, as mind only, has a picture, as an idea of an outcome, and expects this outcome - that lacks common sense- to immediately manifest, placing stress and fear on the pupil/subject as the pupil/subject is left trying to meet the demands/picture/idea without direction or development within physical awareness, so this is like asking for perfection suddenly without, and this just being an idea, any awareness of how the physical moves to become equal and one to an idea, where even within this, there is no such thing as perfection, as being is expression equal and one to and as the physical as life, which is in a state of movement and thus continual transformation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that even within this, when impatience and demands are made, contrary ideas are often expressed, where it is said that one is impossible and stubborn, meaning unwilling change or transformation ( fast enough) and then at the same time being asked to change, which would only cause confusion as two different directives are being given to the physical and self as life, which would cause confusion and a “crash” much like a computer, as two opposing directives would be difficult for a child to answer to, especially from a starting point of non direction within common sense of how this physical world in fact functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame such actions/behaviors, as such separation from what is real as the physical has been going on for generations, and is the sins of the fathers passed down, as such, this separation from physical reality must be forgiven and simply realigned, as the solution is the prevention and thus the only choice to end confusion and suffering, as what is demanded on earth is done in ignorance, thus it is to stop ignorance and support life, to become equal and one to and as the physical, to give what is wanted to be received, as what else is there but to become life.

I commit myself to stop and to breath, when and as I find myself in expectation of criticism, based on a personality that is a collection of behaviors from starting points of fear as being separate from myself in common sense of physical awareness and development, as myself as life equal and one to what is here physically and how this functions, where I can blame no one, as all that need be done is to align myself in common sense practically with what is real, the physical, that which is equal in all that is here, to see, realize and understand that fear is separation and judgement based on limited insight, and so, has no directive capacity as life.
I commit myself to, when and as I find myself having a thought of the presence of an adult or “master teacher” and what they might think, to stop and to breath, and to bring myself here, equal and one, through and as breath, to equalize myself to what is physically present and to practice in common sense directing myself here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing, to stand within myself as common sense of what is here, to no longer allow separation into and as fear, to pull myself back within a sense of vertigo, as fear, as judgement of inferiority or superiority, to stabilize myself here within physical awareness as what is best for all, with gentleness and humility, patience and calm as opposed to nervous anxiety and apprehensive tension, and to recognize every moment/breath of myself as physical separation in common sense of here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing, to not allow thoughts, as images from the past, to direct myself here, to see, realize and understand that myself as life is able to move in common sense.

Day 230 Thought Dimension : Despair Character

“Here, as we have mentioned, the Thought will be the Point, the ONE point that would activate the (Postponement) Character. The Thought can be in the form of an image/picture and/or Memory/past experience that would relate to activating the Character.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself as a child who is seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I must stand and not be heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have even seen this in the schools, where at times, I felt the children just simply listened to the teachers, waiting for the preaching to end to continue their play and escape the preaching, where within this, it was a though the ansi-ness of the child was me, as the child held themselves within wanting to escape, yet having learned the fastest way out of the situation was to listen until it was over and then leave, after asking permission to leave when the preaching had stopped.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself being unable to be heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself as what i am as the child seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to direct myself based on an image from my past as a belief that a child is meant to be seen and not heard, which is to say that an adult is more than a child, that the words of an adult are more than a child, where it is not the word, but the object expressing the word, and thus a child as a human being has no past with which to become a word, which is to say that a child has no story to tell, where the story becomes more than the life of the child, the life of the child becoming a living word, where the word is respected, here, as a movement of self as life, here, as the real story is here, in and as the physical, as how the physical is the story of creation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought of myself as only to be seen and not heard, an image of myself as being dumb, as I had not been on the earth long enough to have a story to tell, a story in separation from what is real, this physical world, a story of more than and less than values.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make myself less than here, in and as an experience as the words “children are to be seen and not heard.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become the experience of the adult being an author of a story of more than and less than,being heard ONLY and the child, as myself, being seen only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the experience of the word only, where as a child, I did not have a development of the word, and thus in the face of the word, I was dumb.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become dumbed down by the word, as the word had become a world in and as itself, in separation from here, a fantasy land of more than and less than, dumb to what was real, the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the experience of being mute.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in becoming dumb, within my experience of the word of my parents as “ a child is to be seen and not heard” I became mute, and thus in not utilizing my human physical body I rendered myself dumb, mute and blind to this actual physical world, which would send me into a state of despair, as I would lose all sense of communication with and as what was real, the actual physical world, as the substance that supports life, as it is a composition of the very substance of life, one and equal as all that exists.

I commit myself to breathing, to see, realize and understand that when I allow myself to become dumb, as in the words “ a child is meant to be seen and not heard” I accept and allow a movement of myself as dumb, mute, and blind to this actual physical world, and thus lose all footing of common sense, as equal and one awareness of what is real, and become trapped and thus experience despair, having only the word of the story of a parent who themselves are dumb, mute and blind to the physical world and perpetuallyseeking within words only, through a self constructed religion of more than and less than, as beliefs, ideas, and opinions, in self validation as the word only, and there by needing to constantly suggest self definition to maintain a separation from what is real, the actual physical world.

I commit myself to stopping and breathing, when and as I separate from myself here, into and as a belief, as an experience of despair, where I become less than this actual physical world, into and as words being seen as a story of self validation, where the physical is not seen and the word is all that is heard, as this being in and of itself a separation from life, where i ignore the effects of the use of the the spoken word as creating a fantasy world of self validation in separation of what is real, the actual physical substance as life, one and equal as what I am, here, these words as projections of more than and less than values, no longer equal and one in respect of life, where life is the physical.
I commit myself to breath, to bring myself equal and one in and as the physical, when and as I face the words of another as something “to be seen only rendering the physical unheard as the substance of myself as life, here.
I commit myself to breath, to see, realize and understand myself within a starting point of equality to what is here physically. to see, realize and understand within and as hereing/hearing what is real, as the word of myself cross referencing equal and one with and as the physical world

A parent believing self interest is justifiable in separation from life, as the physical, as what is real, the value being life.

Prevent behaviors of self interest in separation from the value being life, support an Equal Money System, to become the living word.