Is sudden onset of erratic breathing normal ? Day 791

Regret, as a form of self pity.  That it is too lateness, that is a composition of sadness,  that is in itself an illusion, as the joy of self calling -out-by-name is the means to the end, to become auto-didactic, self determining. To realize the interference ( inter fear-ness) of past belief, as an emotional/feeling firewall, of protection, as not having enough information, as a limited vocabulary, as a mind filled with memorized limited storied ( ironically often through story) information, all built in separation from considering all things, as that which we know to be true in our awareness that we have separated ourselves from nature. LOOK at what a classroom is, it is a space and timing that is not of nature! 

Our systems reflect the way and the means. The agricultural system, where we need only walk down one of the normally two supermarket chains, in our areas, with middle sections filled with dead food that has a shelf life beyond the duration of our own lives. Food that can be the real medicine that is instead like the walking dead, it has no vitality. The very pesticides and fungicides lacing our food (not to mention the preservatives ) causing a blocking of essential nutrients in the plant which must have an effect on the body. 

Our education system, that sequesters children in a tele-vision box away from the actual real, physical natural world, and made to appear to be free. What is free is not free. It is an illusion.

Our health care system, where nurses believe that a reaction of a child, moving into erratic breathing is ‘ normal.” How can a sudden onset of erratic breathing be normal? It is a red flag, not something to see as normal- it, overall, is an acceptance of harm.  All a nurse/doctor/health care worker  need do is pay attention to their own breath, and realize, even if looking at an anxiety attack, that the pace and depth of a breath, changing into a more tense state, is the mark of imbalance, and not something to create and accept in one area, and yet not see within one’s self. We can always look at the self, and if the self would not want it, then why accept such in another, for another, especially a baby?  After all, waves lap against a shore revealing the barometric pressures, indicating high and low pressure areas, as something pressing down on the water.  When the waves are moving with greater intensity, there is pressure on the body. Something somewhere is inflamed, there is a cause and effect action on the overall form- intense pressure on the water, causes it is become reactive, to the extent it moves over its own boundaries and infiltrates the shores- causing , at times, massive damage .  If a breath increases, it would be within a function of purposeful action, much like an orchestra moving in synch, much like a flock of birds, moving like a wave.  Sudden, unmanaged by the body, onset of erratic breathing, is more of a red flag. To believe this is normal, is ignorance. It is an ignorance that is a state of ignoring harm, in self interest. 

Our media, a perpetual story of doom and gloom, potential apocalypse, of dystopia, of  foreboding. Always, a tension of possible worst case scenarios. A form of entertainment, as looking at something out there happening that is bad, is in itself a form of distraction, and a lack of being self responsible; that state of being focused on what is around one that is this reality.  Some people like to watch horror movies as a form of excitement and movement within- to get the juices going as an adrenaline rush, a form of a drug addiction. Can we not realize, that those of us that follow the news, are essentially the same? Do we believe that in following the news feed, as it exists today, that we are more responsible, when it is unbalanced, in being storied information that is always foreboding some harm? Do we get a rush from the adrenaline trigger as that form as that set body of colored information in emotional story, that is so formulaic, as that  measure/composition of in-formation? Is this, in following this, really a perpetual self abdication of real self responsibility, self autonomy, self determinism? When we, as parents, for example, accept when a health care practitioner  says a baby suddenly breathing in an erratic manner is normal, after a vaccine shot,  are we so unaware of our common sense, that we are not actually really looking at that being reacting suddenly with a more violent action as interrupted breathing ? Would we want to suddenly have that in ourselves? No.  If we as young children can learn to crawl, and walk, and talk without a manual, our real sensitivity is more than able to realize changes within our bodies, we need no authority to sense this, because it is, in essence the very fabric of what is our capacity. It takes a great effort to keep this state of agitation alive within- a state that is a separation from the practical ( practice all). Learning in boxes away from nature, is one of the layers that maintain this separation. 

What is an interference ( inter-fear-an-ce ) of our common sense, is it a resonant math of information?  And, it is this that separates us, from our common sense. Can this be all by design, and of a starting point of the individual?  Is not the real "light workers"  the many hands of men?  One could say, our great great great grandparents started this mis-measure. them all no longer present. Thus, to blame them, is pointless because the only possible solution is to reform the self, to allow what is actually more natural, to be allowed to exist. No one can do that but the self, and if we want to blame, and punish those we deem to have caused this, they are no longer here, so that is pointless.  Ironically, we are so often immune to our own irony, all the while, what we seek, is what we already are! 

What if humans came together, and imagined things that fit into creation? What if we gathered all that we are that is creating separation, if we placed all that effort into creating and focusing on what can withstand the test of time, would we not build a world that embraced and brought forth  the real expression of what and who we really are? Would we not move with our interrupted breath, and instead come to move in synch with the physical breath, to live that happiness, that is being haptic with a correct use of the imagination, to live within  the full volume of life? Would that not be awesome? Is that not what we all want? 

Finally, if we look to the financial system, could we not stand together, and forgive ideas that one is more than another, and realize some are actually closer to being informed in effective ways and means, and extend that to all, to open what is natural as our ability to be common sense of all things, to then,  stand and become real creators?   We must de-segment, we must realize what is the same, we must realize that we are the products of our past, we must realize that religions are storied information that is not the real story of reality.  We must change the currency flow, to allow all physical forms the basic and proper means to support this physical existence, to move it back into its potential to express in balance and real respect.   We must begin to realize that resonant interruptions that are of an energy, are something that needs perpetual validation to exist, because it has no real standing in creation, it has no real constancy, it is of no real stability.  It is that game of more than and less than, instead of practical living actions that regard all that is of what we are, and respects it, to realize it is us in another life form. 

Our words are sound. They are a geometry, as the very shape and form of the letters. The more we can call out the math, by name or realize what we sound, which is what any logistical fallacy describes, we realize movement,  in number and space and time, much like a musical song.  What we believe, what we say, what we do not say, as speak up, reveals the math of who and we are by acceptance and allowance in what we focus upon, as thought , word and deed.  

One experience I remember, is being in a room with a musician that had mastered their instrument to a certain degree. They understood where I was at, as they had heard me play. There were few words interchanged. The whole vocabulary of and as the physical body in movement, into form, like the shape and geometry of a word, was the means of expression, of communication.  It is more of a presence, of an awareness of the expression, as the forms and movements of reality with all things around one.   In all, we as what we are , that is equal to what is all around us, truly have the means to create heaven on earth.  If we listen, even the frame of a building, in a room in which we perform, determines the sound we make, and we, as our physical forms can instantly adjust to fit into the space. No metal robot, can work with such efficiency. We are, as physical beings, the most incredible means of life. We need only realize its value, and embrace what we are, stepping out of a resonant form of layered information that does not fit, is not equal to this creation- a creation that is physical and all around us -  allowing us, even in our state of separation, so great is the gift of life.  Practically speaking, this means to change the financial system, to one that guarantees all basic needs are met. It is that simple and only a step away, if we come together, and realize the magnificence of who and what we are as the very flesh of our form. 

Thank you for reading! 

Remaining Grounded and seeing the Ephemeral Manipulation of Sound. Day 740

remaining grounded and seeing the ephemeral manipulation of sound, as the very words, as our focus with which we speak.

I have been working with children, to the point where I live an invisible warped ephemeral movement in relation to the processing of words, as the spelling of the code. It is interesting to watch a child not see what is directly in front of them, something I noticed years ago when I began on the journey of working with children.  Prior this this journey in working with children I had taught children music, and had the experience of seeing in real time what a real stable structure could lend direction, self generated, within them. 

I have spoken to educators who realize this same outcome, that children love structure.

Thus, what  encounter in waring with children, is this ephemeral form, seemingly invisible, yet manifest in the movements as the focus of their presence in this reality.  How can a child not see the words in front of them, and bounce back into typing a word again and again within a different spelling when the real spelling is right in front of them, or they have spelled a word correctly, yet bounce back into a mis-spelling again and again? It is, not ‘ as though’ there is another presence dominating their focus, which means there is a memorized concrete yet invisible ‘ picture’ within them that supersedes and imposes itself in relation to actually being able to sound out a word, yet spell it completely other than what the child sounds- even within having practiced a correct spelling the day before, and appearing to have mastered that correct spelling. This is called a polarization between what is real, and that ‘ belief’ within, a picture that is in separation from the real ground.  This means, in effect, that we can develop a con-sciousness, a con-science, of separation within us, and it is difficult to see, as it manifests in behaviors, as the directives are ephemeral. Can we understand how we can argue with another, having an ephemeral presence that the participant cannot see, this within ourselves as well. 

This reveals that our words can become corrupted - so to speak- because we can build an associative memory construct that is in separation from reality, from the practical. What is it that our children are losing but an ability to be present and walk practical steps that order the practical world around us- a real focused structuring of presence with a real relationship to reality, this place where things actually get done, as this is the real magic, a magic that happens with real space and time doing.

This also reveals that what we expose our children to, can build an inner ‘ entity’ of information that if not in synch with the practical leads to mistakes in reality. If the presence is focused on that ephemeral ‘ math’/measure entity, without regard for the practical, and compares that inner ephemeral entity determining actions, to what is lived in real space, a disconnect happens, and a value judgement about the self becomes the experience, that in turn feeds that ephemeral presence, building into an inner seed of information that becomes more and more dissonant from being grounded in the practice of directing self  effectively in real space, creating a time that is in synch with a more direct seeing that lends a more effective practical practice. Such a thing will appear to move slow, if one steps out of this mis-use of the imagination and into real space as being here, as the imagination can appear to move much faster than those practical effective steps. It is the story of the turtle and the hare, where the turtle appears to be moving more slowly, yet gets to the finish line faster. If one is lost in an ephemeral measure, as memory, that has come to direct one’s actions, a sense of space is them lost. With the turtle, appearing to move so slow, the sense of space is not lost, as that turtle is in synch with measure, as time, AND space. 

Within this, the ephemeral existence can be so manipulated, and lead to a constant state of fear, because one has no real grounding. If one learns to listen to the sentences, as words, spelled out into time lines of information, one can begin to hear the ephemeral smoke and mirrors sounds separate from the practical, and one can begin to feel more secure in disempowering this ephemeral formation, through calling it out by name. One can begin to remain constant with what is real, as the space that is here structurally around us, and the sound constructs of words that reflect a mis-use of the imagination, which is a form of a mind-consciousness, or an ephemeral consciousness of separation. If one begins to realize the two, a great sharing within one’s self will happen because this is the effect of seeing the rushing train of thought within, and stepping out of it, back onto being focused in the structure of this physical world around us. It feels like one is moving against a rushing current. With the children, it means to slow down and walk the correction again and again, until the child moves with more momentum into realizing the disconnect and seeing the difference between an accepted mis-take and the correction. The sense of clarity in the child is awesome, and the greater presence consequence is very self empowering. 

I for one, have spent my life not seeing this. Or, I can say, it has taken many years to see this. And I can say, that pushing against that ephemeral entity terrifies me, as I did not see, realize and understand the difference. Also, I can be heartfelt towards this, as the behaviors reveal such separation, and I can speak up, even when I must move in contradiction to my own manipulations as this, with a starting point of fear of this, and a fear of being exposed in relation to having done this myself,  I can move towards patiently calling this out by name, self correcting the focus of myself into being in synch with this practical reality. I have to become that turtle, appearing to move very slow, yet grounding myself into a time sequence that respects the practical, or grounds my presence into this reality.

I have noticed in this life that people who are very effective with their words are loquacious in a stable way, building a sound structure with words that pull one in, because the words frame a stable focus that lends a greater awareness of space and time, time being the sequence of events telling a story that is an effective story because it mirrors real practical applications easily digested by the listener.

Consider the opposite, where there are value judgements, the sentences as the words, being an equation of a truth, then a value judgement, and a possible doom and gloom outcome? THis is a focus through manipulation of sound constructs as the very words we speak. And imagine this manipulating that ephemeral entity within, as one’s experiences that are missing a real presence in space and awareness of a time-line of information within that lacks a real placement in practical space? If one has a huge ephemeral presence, superseding reality, a process of deconstructing and reconstructing would move and fold into many different forms, struggling to maintain a balanced and constant formation more effortlessly held as a state of balance once mastered has a constancy that is easily maintained, which is how the turtle stays the course and though appearing to move slower, makes it to the goal faster. 

What would be the means of ensuring no out of synch ephemeral inner state of being existed? Could this be done within grounding our words into living relationships with reality, where this would be reflected in the spells sentenced into sound constructs as a correct use of our focused presence into real physical space, creating an inner time line that can stand in clarity leading to a self direction that reaches goals? 

Would the sentences, as the words that spell our para-graphs as directives become directive instead of punishing, as all those ‘ don’t do this” with gloom and doom forecasts creating  a weathered storm separating one from practical sustaining and less consequence of mistake creating directives ? Would such sentences spell our effective paragraphs of problem solving, living the realization that there are no problems and only solutions- which is how the turtle makes it to the goal even though appearing to be slow?

If we look at our words, and realize the relationships we have developed, as ephemeral imaginations and what is clear in being equal to the practical reality, that would by degree as the spelled out sentence into a paragraph of outlining actions, become a list of steps that retain a presence in the self directing within and the practical reality without? How could one then make any other choice but what lends directive applications and become the self directed principle because a relationship with the practical is grounded in this reality, understanding that dis-connect of a consciousness of separation that can happen and manifest as an ephemeral presence out of synch with the space of here, as the physical? 

I have to say, that the process of this means slowing down, and speaking in such a way that I redefine my presence back into being focused here, on the practical, my words reflecting this, within and as spelling sentences out into paragraphs that mirror the practical, and as such speak truth to power as solutions that are a living respect of the synch of space as the physical  and practical world here. This is in effect to become a living word. It means to become equal and one with the math of existence, as the physical, and to realize, within this, that an inner construct can be a consciousness of separation from this reality. causing discord and using retorical devices of distraction from remaining focused here. Thus, building, because this is what we do, building a grounded inner structure, as the words we know, having a living relationship to what each words represents in this reality. This would be to be in synch with life. to become a master of self, generating a focus in consideration of this life, of all things here. Would one not become stable as such a presence? 

In a way, what really terrifies me, is this ephemeral presence within and as myself, and yet, acknowledgement of this, is the first step towards reforming this presence into a focus in synch with life, as this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be and exist and build an energetic resonant entity out of synch with this reality, this space, here, and as such to have accepted and allowed an out of synch ephemeral presence, separating myself from being who and what i really am, as a physical beingness here.

I  forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up, against a mind consciousness of separation from this reality/

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to mis-use the gift of life, as me, within and as building a mind consciousness of separation within and as a consciousness of fear, rejecting life as the physical

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the terror of and as accepting the same that I feared as I feared punishment of calling out separation by name, and instead chose to become a separation of limitation, manifest as energy within and as me, recognizable as being unsteady and all over the place, much like the metaphorical rabbit, having lost being in synch with myself as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become ashamed of myself, for having accepted and allowed this, which is really a regret in not having lived the potential of who and what I am here,

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that becoming angry about this is more of the same of having allowed a consciousness of separation, as a mind consciousness of beliefs, opinions and ideas, held in self interest, and allowed to define me, t hide the overall mistake of believing in survival before realizing myself as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and a accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the only choice is to resound myself into being grounded here, equal and one to this reality, a practical and physical reality, visible all around me as the ground on which I walk, to then speak in respect of this reality, to spell out sentences that graph what is here, realizing practical step by step actions that always resolve into a focus of this reality, to thus become in synch with life- as life is physical. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the smallest of movements, as allowing myself to become overwhelmed to the point where I believe there are no choices, when in effect I am moving to relate to all things, with a starting point of fear, as that fear moves into not making a choice, and in that space of not making a choice, comes the nothing, which is a solution into making a choice, as the nothing is the potential to make a choice, thus that point of nothing, as being so frozen in fear of making a mistake, is a point of being in nothingness, which is the answer, as from nothing there is the potential for all things to form, and thus, needs not an energetic action of fear, as I can slow down and breath, and ground myself here, and within this to practice this, as I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear, in fear of punishment, in fear of making a mistake, in fear of survival, for so long I have accepted and allowed the manipulation of myself words to have a relationship of protection and defense of myself's own fear, instead of being grounded in the practical in the awareness of being present here, in synch with the physical, and the means of moving within the physical as being in an order of practical steps, of which I can spell out as words, into sentences building pictures as sound frames of paragraphs that can change in every moment into a conversation to move as solutions listing the step by step actions that lead to being equal and one with this reality, to live here, to being potent with what is life, as the physical here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being exposed as being in self interest in fear of speaking up for life,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to used words to distract away from focusing on my own rejection of life as the physical here, this done in a self interest, as a belief that if I did not I would not survive, as this is an illusion as the only choice is to take that which is good and lends a focus onto the practical here, as I live on a plan-et, where my words as what I spell, can sentence a paragraph of the practical reality that is here, and the step by step means of respecting what is here, and making a choice to do no harm, here.

When and as I find myself moving into fear, moving into an ephemeral state of being that is unstable manifest as judgement, as hyperbole, as inflammatory language, as ‘ what if’ scenarios, as doom and gloom, as projection of fault towards others, as projecting what I have allowed to become huge within and as myself and to recognize this, and balance this out into the practical, and to realize the moment of fear is a state of non-movement, where I stand between making a choice, and thus am capable of realizing form and function, and the eternal silence and embracing nothing that is the potential for everything, and within this to be easy on myself, as the nature of aligning from an accepted separation is to become a practice of deconstructing self interest into standing in equality and oneness with this reality, and within this realizing the disconnect from reality has manifested as a system, that I must move with and as, standing as being in recognition of and as there being no problems and only solutions here.

When and as I find myself in that state of fear, as being uncertain, as moving into protection and defense, as being confused, as not being, or allowing a slowing down to become more steady, within and as breathing, to realize my own practice of disconnect and to take a moment to realize this and instead of fearing the nothing to realize everything that is here, is me in another life, and that life is creation manifest as the physical, that is potential information, and thus, I can slow down, remaining in breathing until I can assess and investigate this reality, and list the practical, as recognize the practice of life, as the physical, to ground myself to become in synch to life, here. 

When and as I find myself moving into competition, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am calm, serene, stable, present, and I see realize and understand there is no such thing as competition, as I am physical as life in creation, here, and within this, the practical remains constant in a way, and the pull into polarized value of right and wrong, good and evil, more and less, have a quality of being a false promise,  as what is constant is here, as the practical, and I, in slowing down, and breathing, can step by step, refocus myself here, equal and one to what is real, as the physical. 

Learning step by step to redress a limited morality Day 733

This week I had conversation with people in very different positions in this world. I have learned to become quiet and listen with greater ease. Meaning instead of reacting I listen, to hear the forms, to see the ‘ numbers’ placed before me, as the measure of the information.  

I have two memories coming up recently. One recent and one from my childhood.  

The first is while I am working in a  school. There is a boy in the room, it is a remediation , or invention class. This boy is behind in his ability to read and process information. The teacher comes and asks the boy why he signed up for a class that he knows he can only take once- as the boy has already had this class. The boy then moves this into a conversation as to why he can only take the class once. The teacher responding. After the boy leaves, this teacher gets on the phone and goes through the whole conversation again with a colleague.  I watch all of this, somehow it is a time frame of busyness that is a comfort zone, a distraction. The boy, so isolated from his peer group, grasps as moments of verbal interaction, to have something to live. He knows he cannot repeat that special class that is popular. The teacher joining in the topic to engage the child, and using the topic to fill the space and entertain, because real problem solving as processing information is not happening and it is the problem.  Ironic that the mechanics used are the thing needing greater definition, greater self reflection within what one lives in real space as what one expresses, as a math that has no real direct seeing movement. It is like an elongated song, a math, imposed on being grounded in this reality.  It is like a bubble of drama, or draw-me, imposed on the space that is a self seeking connection yet the connection is a false positive, as engagement is a fundamental drive. Yet this drama, done with words and values, is sidestepping a real awesomeness of being present in all that is here, as the physical.  It is, by default, a comfort zone melody/math/soap opera filled with good intentions, yet missing the mark, not seeing itself as a separation from the capacity of itself to see the distraction it is by the very nature of a lack of presence in real space. 

This also happened with talking to a friend. This person has had one of the best educations our country provides. She has attended the best schools.  We were talking about history, when she made a statement that I have heard and could see the accepted logic of in relation to ideas about changes in time away from what is considered being spiritual. It was a statement that science caused a loss of spirituality. When this statement was made, I countered it by saying that this could be said of any change as recorded and voiced by our system. This naturally caused a lot of friction and I had to stop, listen and allow the rant of defensive for platitudes to play itself out.  I checked myself even when it was said that I had to be righteous at the end of the response my words elicited. I even agreed that I had been righteous, and that what was said was a standard  formula that was stated. Naturally this brought on more reaction. Yet, as she spoke, to some extent, she travelled through time and realize the pattern, that it could be said that there were other periods where the same argument was made that a subsequent period created a loss of something. Overall, this was a play out of knowledge and information memorized, a standard hi/high- story ( a supposed morality) of information constantly circumnavigating practical and grounded application in real space and time, in common sense of what and who we are as physical beings here.  

Even to see this, and not be as reactive towards these songs, these maths, these measure of information, took some time. Standing up to the very morality of this, meaning to speak up counter to it, even if that meant calling out patterns, knowing this would elicit reactions, I allowed to cause a lot of fear. This fear manifested as myself feeling like I was losing something. Physically I would become, just like the feeling of fear, loopy and ungrounded, like I was in a soup, losing ground.  I feared that I was going to be cast out, rejected, because I did not know, as agree with the formula, the accepted formula. Meanwhile, when this did happen, I was always here, it was only an idea within me, the loopyness myself, in a way, liquifying everything I believed as spoke as allowed, moving into a spin, a deconstruction of the information as me. I would acquiesce to not lose the relationship, for various reasons that were more of idea than anything real. What is interesting is that when I was more simple and more practical, and relaxed, as in caring but not that much, the drama stopped.  In this situation, I could see the remnants of my own fear playing out, and within the rant of justification for a standard belief, a process of self discovery as the math, as the equation of events made belief were made verbal. As the realization of a pattern via justifying the standard pattern was seen, there was an immediate movement into value judgements , this some call hyperbole.  It is that formulaic design I have seen in those blogs written by trolls, where a truth is stated and then moves into the fear tactics of value judgement, a kind of mendacious gossip that is the pulling forward of a value judgement and then suggesting worst case sceanrios. It all can appear to move like a horror show as it triggers any fears within one, and keeps one riding in an illusion that is held in place by a lack of processing what is allowed as informed that has no real relationship to practical reality. For me, moving through a morality of and as an idea that pushing against this in any way, was taboo, was mean, meant a certain rejection by the establishment. Somehow, the opposite is true, which I have found when being patient, allowing the scream of limited information to play itself out, to move into discovery or the formulaic play-out of trolling, as name calling being a distraction from that moment of realizing a pattern that would mean re-evaluating everything one had defined one's self as. 

This sense of feeling like a liquid inside myself, triggering the second memory, I am in elementary school, and suddenly the wods around me are changing, and they change from some value form, I don't remember, to the point I remember, as being this liquid thing that falls apart and reforms. In the memory, I do not react with the sense of losing ground that I have experienced as an adult. I suppose because as a child, I was still grounded in the physical to a greater degree than I have allowed myself to be as an adult. 

Interesting that I am writing this, because I have asked myself in this process where that point of separation from being focused in common sense, happens. This because I have asked question about being in a situation where I, be it imagination or a micro second in seeing through a veil, managed to see a different world perspective than what I was lost in as that information I spun in that changed in a moment for which it appeared to me that I had no control over. I wanted to see the sequences of change from one to the other. The leaps of  change happening too fast for me to process.  I suppose some tiny part of me understood that I am in a smoke and mirrors show, the ghost of which terrified me, and lead to asking the question " Where is life? It must be here, it has to be here, where is it?" 

As I learn to assess in living space what is happening around me, and I begin to realize a false morality in practice, I move into shame, and a sense of impossibility at clearing all of this up. there is a point of wanting to cry that circles around as I move through the sequences of my own experience, of my own experiences from my life. I would say the hardest from within my relationship to all of this at this point, is no longer fearing to move through an acepted and limited morality.  That being to face and address the standard line of information. This being a justification, that a method of operation, that is formulaic. Ironically, this a means that lead to a greater seeing or realizing of these patterns was through slowing down and processing the information, not fearing to lose something, as having a faith that somehow life is here, all around me, as it has to be, because life will. I would pick myself up, like a slow moving Sherman tank and try again, despite so many around me coming in with counter rationals, myself having a character that wants to cry out in hopelessness, that being a memoory from childhood, a memory of giving up in some way, as yet not clearly defined. Somehow, that is okay that it is not, because the means to this point is to keep going until the mote in every eye is clear, and what is eternal is realized. Somehow, mixed in with the fear, is a tiny sense of joy. And with that joy, is so muchshame, a realization of so much lost, I just want to cry out that I am sorry, so very sorry for not having lived the potential inherent in what men on earth can be. 

This was a loss of what I left behind, as a gentleness that had a natural patience, which I lost in my life as well in a person, something that can never come back. No one can tell me that it is not my fault, when yes it is the default of not being focused and in respect of what is all around us, and that is life, manifest as the physical.  What I project as a loss in another, is what I lost as me. The means to be this, the same patience and silence that allows a morality to play itself out, and the action of not reacting to the formula of a troll, that truth coupled with inflamatory value judgements using a false narrative with a energized voice that has only the power I give to it. My own process of choosing fear and believing the self created and accepted entity of ideas wihtin me, to seem more real than the practical.  In all I can embrace the unnatural, because it is a game of shadows and stand within what remains no matter what, that I am here, I am the same after the emotional picture show peaks and moves either into realization and/or protection and defense. That defense needing no push back and only patience, because that reaction allows me to realize my own reflection as idea, of what I have allowed. It is a gift. 

In this, overall, I can stop chasing shadows as what resistance is by name, as information, a story imposed through words -as knowledge and information - and remember who and what I am, that nothing can define me, and that I can learn the smallest of movements, to stand equal to that gentleness that is the will of me as life, here.  I can be myself,  I can gift myself life, I can recognize the paranoia of the paranormal, as the promise I made to myself that I had to become myself, to ensure that the loss of what is precious, never happens again.  Somehow, this state of being on some border, as I see it, is both a mixture of shame and joy.  There is only one choice here.

This reminds me of the slow death of my father. His body having all the characteristic tics and tensions, that slowly faded. His body became still. The energies appearing to no longer have license over the body. The body taking a couple of breaths even when he was gone. His request that he be buried next to his sisters, a telling story - as that time with his sisters, was probably the last time he remembers being really happy/grounded, just as my memory as a child.  This choice being the choice where he remembers some semblance of himself, so far back in the past. The presence of him, being more of a child, gentle and simple. How could that be?  For me, the loss of that gentleness is unacceptable.  The wall of the mind,as a false positive, a charade of separation from what is real, must be called out by name, and allowed to see itself for what it is, a personality unequal to the real potential of self to be what is natural as the inherent will of life within and as who and what we are here on this physical planet, where all plans as forms of information are visiable, even those causing separation if we simply slow down and do what we can all do so well, which is to do the math, to see the forms,  to know we can stand stable in ourselves and choose a practice of respecting the physical world around us to realize what does no harm. 

Remember to breath. 

Day 662 Moving from mind consciousness to presence here, forgiving the stim of limitation.

I was out walking this morning, when I could see how I funneled myself into ideas, beliefs and opinions. Like I take the very focus of and as me  and force it into a measure, like a construct of values within a creation as an image.

There is this memory of a fear of not fitting in, not reaching others, not getting through, not having interaction.  A sense that I am not seen, as a reaction to reaching the people in my world.

As a child, considering the existent mind consciousness, did I have to catch up to the train of the mind, and focus my beingness equal and one to the measure as the means of communication with the adults around me?  Did I have to enter the storm of the mind to reach through the focus of another? Probably. Did this ‘ hurt’ in a way, or did I allow it to ‘ hurt’ me in a way” Did I see this as a bully on my presence? And yet, did I see this as a means to an end, where I as a child started to read a lot?

Did I become fearful in my attempts to match the measure of belief that motivated the actions of the adults in my world? Did I get caught up in the fragmented mind/value/system forgetting the original goal? Did the information I allowed become an excitement in a desire to reach a goal that was in itself limited and forgetful of considering all things to realize what was of equal value to life as the physical around me? Did I also enjoy the process of creation that is inherent even when a limited form/construct is the outcome?

Am I so used to following knowledge and information that to move from this to the information of life as the physical means abandoning the measure of information I have accepted and allowed to direct me? Am I so used to what is 1% of my capacity that leaving that limited awareness, a comfort zone, appears to be a loss, and the fear of standing outside this socially means causing friction to and towards a collective limitation? If I focus only on the lack, where do I end up? I cannot blame or spite the lack, that leads to further fragmentation. Hence I can only focus myself here, accepting the life that is around me as the physical.

I have the space and the time here, to investigate and understand the physical world around me, where there is no place to fall, as falling will only move into the nothing that is the everything, the darkness that is the light, the very substance of creation, always here, the most gentle of all things, the most forgiving of all things, the potential of all things, right here, thus I can forgive myself for all things as this is the expression of creation. I need not fear any bully of information, as change involves by nature transformation which is forgiving, as forgiving is returning to nothing that is everything. I am here. 

Thus in every breath, I forgive myself to here, to assessing what is here, realizing it cannot define me in the next moment, and as this there need be no despair, no fear of loss as the nature of creation is change, fluid, constant. I can focus here, let go the mind only consciousness, as accepted and allowed information, taking that which is good and does no harm, to return myself in every breath to that which is gentle, present, nothing and everything.

I slow myself down to realize my own measure of stimming myself into a limited expression. tensing myself, forcing myself , bullying myself into an inner mind consciousness in separation from respect of all things, taking that which is good and does not harm. I am here. I am life. I choose equality and oneness with and as life, as this is what I am here.

Day 611 The FearObligationGuilt of Doubt separating myself from using doubt to cross reference reality.

Doubt.

There have been times when I face limitation, and I begin to doubt. Sometimes it is moving into self judgement, as an act of comparison to limited values, I stop and I breath, I slow down, I accept myself as who and what I am in as far as the shape of my nose etc.

But in being aware of space and time, I realize I have to reassess what is here as much as I am able, so that when I speak it is as close to common sense as I can possibly be, it is much like playing in tune on a violin. In playing there comes a point where one just senses in some way when something is in tune, one has to really listen without listening if that makes sense.

So, doubt is a lot like this, I can get stuck in an idea that I do not know well enough to explain, as in not having enough sense of detail and or, the sense of swimming in uncertainty where a sense of listening is no longer being used. And then, in allowing a belief, as being in separation from listening here, one gets caught in fearing a loss, but there is no loss, as there is only listening here. 

And like playing the violin one needs structure to express. So, one’s memory has to move with structure, not the past, but the here, as this physical world. Then does one know the score.  So, if one’s inner self is not mirroring the outer world, developing a sense of it, then one is not here in understanding, and then one cannot grow, thus the control of the imagination by media and knowledge and information without practical application is a crime against life, which means the  pyramid scheme in place though financial structures that suppress life will never work and cannot work, it is a useless endeavor. It will lead no nowhere. The mind must be here, equal and one with the physical world.

We are like computers where we build neurons that map this world, the physical can grow sensibility to function here, with great plasticity, like humans are a self building robot when given what is needed to build as the nutrients as things that are the same as on this earth- so to speak. If our access is enclosed in a box, and we are feed pictures with drama, we are distracted from reality, overall, and we become a chaos, in separation from the physical world, which is what is happening. Our children are so in separation  and the fantasy is a program that disconnects the child from life, from the physical world. They are not given, or allowed access to substantiating structure, and/or the lack thereof takes a lifetime to correct and then life as passed and the flesh is consumed by the television imagination as mind, a state of inequality to life, here. Thus potential cannot be reached. Thus the present system is one of insanity, and is life in destruction.

It must be forgiven,  because it cannot work.  We are like walking bubbles of snow storm, and this is the valley of the shadow of good and evil, the self in separation from life.

Life was for us to become creators and for this to happen, each must become equal and one to the physical, remembering self with substance that forms the physical, seeing the parts and the whole.

So, all insult is the bully of limitation and cannot define us unless we accept and allow it. Insult has no solution.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear insult.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to doubt

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become doubt as an end game and to not look at doubt as a sign to cross reference my sense of here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am obligated to stand as the beliefs of another as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cloud myself as mind into a thought of fear of loss, as in guilt, as an idea that respect means to accept another's ideas, beliefs, opinions as valid and that this is the end of the line, when this is building understanding of a starting point that can then be moved into what is best for all, as in cross referencing reality, here, no matter what, to realize in thought word and deed that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear insult

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, and to see, realize and understand that doubt is simply a sense that I can reconnect, to realign, to check alignment to expand in awareness in practical common sense of physical reality, to investigate here, as this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I can stop, slow down and breathe, and say out loud, okay, I want to cross reference something, to investigate the form as belief, opinion and idea here, to take a look and reconsider what is best for all, as this is the only choice to reach the full potential of myself as life here, as what is best for self, is best for all

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, when and as I become doubt, to simply say, wait a moment, I am doubting what I am saying, and want to recheck, to investigate, to rebook here, to make sure I am clear in where I stand, as life changes in every moment and nothing is fixed, and yet here is understandable, because life would life, and for life to exist each point must be aware of itself ,as to be life is to share life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become locked in doubt.

I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to tense up, in and as my chest area, to doubt, to fear being wrong, and to move into righteousness, into blame and spite, where I project justifications in a belief that something outside of myself is a hinderance forgoing my own gift as myself as life as an innate ability to sense reality in quality, duration, extent, dimension, movement, development, substance, my resistance as rejection of here into a belief to ostensively   protect myself from a personal idea of fear of loss,  for example, that I must be perfect or that something bad will happen if my words are not accepted in a way that leads to immediate mutual understanding , not seeing realizing and understand that every moment is change, and that change can be realized in every moment, thus doubt is a gift to fine tune oneself, like double checking oneself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear exposing a moment of doubt as though having a doubt means there is something wrong with me, as though I am supposed to be certain in every moment, which is a belief that distracts, a stagnant inner act of self interest in separation from here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that it is with all life as every form around me that I understand myself here, as this is creative play, thus, interacting with all of the physical world, considering it,  is the way and the means to the end as in creating in ways that do no harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that bullying is arguing limitations, and as such cannot define who and what I am, as it is the physical that defines who and what I am.

When and as I find myself reacting to my own sense of doubt, and moving into an energetic reaction of inferiority, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I bring myself here,, grounding myself in practical reality as the physical, and I assess practically what it means to be life, what it means to exist as a physical beingness here, to take that which is good and does no harm, and to see, realize and understand that I am a physical beingness that as life can investigate this physical world and understand what is best for all.

When and as I find myself making doubt larger than life, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I humble myself, ground myself, become thankful, gracious and give gratitude to reality as in respecting what it means to be a physical being, because the physical is the way and the means of life here, because the physical is life in expression.

Day 607 Mindfulness follow through into writing out thoughts, self forgiveness and corrective application.

I listened to a talk about a practice of ‘ mindfulness.’ This is where a person slows down and breathes as thoughts come up in their head. It is to realize that the thoughts coming up in one’s head are not who one is.

This was likened to a globe filled with water and something that looked like snow, one of those globes that one shakes and watches the snowy looking substance fly around, creating a mini snow storm in a bubble of glass that is what the mind is as thoughts. The act of breathing is the practice of ‘ mindfulness, “  to slow down and remain in the breath, until the snow settles, allowing one to ground oneself here and not react as the thoughts that are analogous to the flying snow. 

Evidently this works better with children up to the seventh grade, I believe. One practice is to take the index finger from one hand and trace the outline of the other hand while breathing, which is a practice of physically grounding oneself here, and thereby distracting one from the thoughts that may lead to an action based on the thought that when acted upon becomes what defines one, because one has to then face the consequences of one’s thoughts acted upon in real time. 

I have to ask the question here as to why this is not as successful with older students? Of course, prevention is the best cure, and teaching this act of slowing down and breathing , grounding oneself here, allows the space and time to realize that one’s thoughts must not be what one becomes in action.  If our minds working as thoughts become much like the globe analogy, why is this practice not as effective with older students? Do we over time become a constant snow storm, as the thoughts become the directive of who we are, when allowed to remain without being cleared overall? Meaning do our thoughts, when not cleared, become who we are? This would mean that humans are programmed by what they think.

Does our media teach us to think in ways that teach direction in this world that brings us no harm? And are we taught to chase false positives that do not tell the whole story, and lead us down a path where we chase the dream, the limitation of an only part of reality, to find that so many things were not considered and that dream becomes clouded by having to learn the details of living that were never taught?

Even this practice of mindfulness, though a good I thoroughly support, is not enough. That ‘ snow’ has to be cleaned up, because that snow is as snow does, it is crystalized thought, which is our beliefs, our opinions, and our ideas, accumulated from an environment that is in separation from practical living, from reality, That snow is - so to speak- the partial story of existence made huge, so much so that it becomes a square peg forced into a round whole, meaning that the partial story is a limited story, that is not equal to practical reality, and because it is not equal, it is too large to fit into the cells, it programs a human who does not fit into practical living and the consequences of this cause a human  body to act in mis-informed ways, causing a dis-association from actual living, leading to existential problems because of processing limited information that does not dignify the human, and thus suppresses the full potential of each man on the ground. Who are we to blame? We cannot blame anyone but ourselves because we accepted it.

Our schools and our lives have become a regiment of separation from practical reality. Our children do not have the time, and the space to slow down and ‘ read’ practical reality, thereby building an awareness within that has practical ability in living in common sense, which is being in communion with life as the physical. A sense is of hyper-sexuality, of wanting fame without understanding the steps necessary for development and the joy in building this development. They have no sense of nature, of where what they eat comes from and what happens with the ingredients as the waste from what we eat moves into the physical natural world around us. They are not taught that they have a natural learning ability, and that learning the words and the numbers is simply learning a code of communication that is how humans communicate, and that one must have the exposure to this, and the time, the space to understand it, and that we can all learn this if given the time, and that therefor, we are all the same in how we learn, but different in our expressions as some have an interest in this, and others in that.

The consequence of this is a manifested financial system mirroring this state within, that rewards only a few and punishes lack without addressing what is already known, that humans become what they are exposed to. This understanding that humans become what they are exposed to is used in self interest for a few as well, to maintain power and control. And this control is an illusion, because it abuses life to play a game that is in itself a separation from life. So, the few are the extremes that model what each is allowing as thoughts. One could say the few are simply protecting themselves from those who have accepted and allowed thoughts that are oneself not investigating and looking at the whole and the parts. The means to realize this are here, always right in front of each of us, so the blame for what we allow and act upon, is within ourselves.

Our thoughts are what we believe, and if our thoughts are not considerate of all things, taking the time to investigate reality, then what actions we take based on what we have accepted ourselves to believe, are the fault of what we have allowed ourselves to see and to not see, because we chose self interest over life. The other extreme end of this, are those who are starving as a consequence of this system that mimics this self interest before life. If one owns a car, and has a table and bed to sleep in, then one is the elite of this world. One has the responsibility to breath, to slow down and look at one’s thoughts and how they were formed and the value judgements they contain, and to forgive them and self correct through writing, self forgiveness and corrective application, as this is how that snow in the bubble of our minds, our buy-bill , can be cleared and structurally grounded back into life here, as this earth is life information. In other words, the water in that bubble, must be clear, because this is a clear memory, this is a mind as thoughts that sees directly here, and thus is equal and one to life as this is respecting the physical world that is the means of life.

Day 520 Self Corrections on Cross Purpose

When and as I find myself believing that something outside of me defines me, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that I am here, that I am on a physical planet, that is creation, and as such is the expression in and as life, and as such nothing can define me, but what i am here, in all common sense.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that I can only be what I am here, that nothing defines me but what I accept and allow, thus, the cultural past composed of ideas about the traditions that are not even understood or that no longer fit into what is here, and or were in limitation as a starting point from being one and equal to physical creation, do not define myself here, as what is here, as the physical is what enables the existence of myself here, and as such is life, is how I can be what I am here, so no ideology can define me here but what i am in practical common sense as the physical.

When and as I find myself watching a movie, for example, and have a thought that something is stupid, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself here and I slow myself down, and I realize that anything that has to do  with hierarchy is a separation from practical reality, and as such is based on ideological judgements that believe that one value of what is here is more than another, which makes no sense on an interconnected physical planet.

When and as I find myself being uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that when I allow myself to accept what is judgement that is a belief in inequality, that has caused suppression and disrespect for the physical as life, I slow myself down, and I simply say, we live on a physical planet, where physical objects move from one place to another and or transforms, of which much is known, that what is here is a structure that can be seen, realized and understood, thus the present economic system makes no sense, and is a crime against life, here.

When and as I find myself not wanting to look here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I place myself here, I remain vigilant within and as me, to look here, no matter what, with every step, to be in respect of physical existence here, and to realize the ideas of more than and less than as a mind consciousness system cannot define me, unless I accept and allow this.

When and as I find myself reacting towards an idea instead of moving directly into solution, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that there is only here.

When and as I find myself becoming loopy, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I look here, becoming practical without judgement of a physical thing being good or bad, right or wrong, more than or less than, and see realize and understand through thought, word and deed, what is best for all, as in what would be the measure of common sense leading to a self directive capacity within the big and the small, the immediate and the consequential as best as I am able, and within this to see, realize and understand that there is no such thing as a mis-take, and that insight is developed as one moves within and as the magic being life, which is the act of doing within the principle of what is best for all is best for self, here, which behaviorally needs no rush, no desire, want and need for gain, as I remain here, equal and one in respect for and as life, here, stable, constant, facing the fear that is simply a separation from equality and oneness as and with the physical world.

When and as I find myself in friction and conflict , in and as a physical sense within my chest of being at cross purposes with myself and as such with the world that is me in another life, that is all around me as the physical composed of the substance of life, that is the darkness that is the light, I stop and I breath, and i slow myself way down, until I am stable, until I am breathing more at ease, as much as I am able within the process of the journey to life, and I bring myself here, and I look directly as what is physically here, with a vigil that is myself equalizing myself to life, here, and I look at the self accepted belief structures within that are built of ideological beliefs, that I have used to define me, or allow to define me, and I sort them out through self forgiveness and I bring them back to self, and use my self as life, equal and one in common sense of the physical world, and I become the functional purpose as the directive of myself here, as much as I am able, seeing realizing and understanding that I am in effect placing myself within the measure of what is best for all, to no longer allow myself to divide from myself as life.

When and as I find myself facing a cross purpose, as ideological friction and conflict of oneness and equality, as a fear of loss as an ideal, or a desire for gain as a want, need and desire, as a projection as a belief that has been allowed to define, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I take in an understanding of the cross purpose, until I understand the measure of uncertainty, instability, lack of structural purpose/ functional purpose and I walk, as much as I am able, and breath, aligning myself with the silence, to hear and listen and apply common sense to diverge into a self directive functional purpose within the principle of what is best for all, here.

Related articles

• Day 519 Cross Purposes - Journey to Life

Day 484 Communication that with stands the test of time can be a process of joy.

One of the things about friends is mutual understanding. This leads to open communication. Such understanding takes time. The process of this should be a joy within the realization that this leads to open direct communication. Thus, if humans understood their world, meaning we lived as a real democracy where all people stood and participated in what happens on earth, especially with our resources - of which our children are- then communication would exist between all of us. I mean it would be fun to communicate with neighbors.

But as a society we do not have this. Why don’t we? We are capable of speaking, of using words, why are we not communicating, meaning having equal understanding our our physical world and enjoying it, no matter who stands next to us? It makes no sense that we are not this.

Because of this, there is really no other option but to have open discourse until mutual understanding is reached. This is a responsibility for each of us. Any movement within, any doubt, any thought against such is an indication of ignorance, even if this means thinking another is impossible because they throw a fit. This has to be let go, and the solution to communication must continue until that communication flows in understanding, an understanding that can withstand the test of time.

Thus, to not allow communication does not allow development and the ability to practice and learn the structure of discourse, meaning making the mistakes and being patient within them, to learn to see the patterns of the way we use words and what we believe and what we think and how this thinking can become stagnant and misinformed. As this we can see that communication with others can help each of us to see what we are, as the words we use and assemble show us what we have formed ourselves as.

Within this, each of us can realize that communication with others helps us to self realize as life, and as this to come to understand life in ever greater measure.

I/we have to be willing to communicate what we think, and to forgive what another communicates with each breath, to help one another realize what we have allowed ourselves to be informed as. We can begin this, by simply slowing down and breathing, even saying to another, that we find ourselves reacting and need a moment to breath and slow down, simply because we realized we were, for example, suddenly thinking about something else ( and each of us knows that we are so economically stressed that slowing down and actually listening to another needs some practice).

This is how we become a democracy, to communicate with one another, to share our information as what we are, and to realize that which is good and that which serves us no real purpose within understanding what it means to live that which withstands the test of time, as that which creates a communication that moves with ease because an understanding is lived that is a joy to express.

Walk the FREE Desteni I Process Lite, Become equal to life and withstand the test of time.

Day 448 Self Corrective Statements for Indolence

When and as I find myself within a thought that I am not understood, I stop and I breath, and I realize where I did not direct myself and instead allowed myself to become uncertain - in separation as uncertainty - and/or exist as a belief that I somehow missed something and thus “ did something wrong” as a consequence of an earlier thought and/or  thought that what I was/am doing is impossible, and/or labeled the other as limited/ignorant/stupid all such inner actions a separation away from the moment within and as such a road to self righteousness, justification, into characters of projection and self abdication of life, and as such all that I can do is forgive my separation and realize that I can only be a solution within and as being directive within the principle of what is best for all, this which is directive and humble, and which is going to take some practice, as the venues of a polarity system have been my accepted and allowed con-dition.

When and as I find myself going into a movement of projection I see realize and understand that I am rejecting myself as life, pushing away a “ bad” and justifying within a good as myself  believing the fault is not mine, here I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am equal to all life, and as this the choice is solution as what is best for all.

When and as I find myself hesitating to direct myself within my environment, I stop and I breath, and I take an evaluation within what I am able to order within where I am, and I do not allow myself to obsess over where I am, and I stop and I breath, and I - take the time to walk every day- and I  realize the steps I am able to complete within the framework of a day and not expect more than this, and I do not allow myself to wonder into and as my mind pondering why certain expectations have not been met as this is not myself being directive but allowing myself to separate into self pity, and character escapades in and as justification, self righteousness, inferiority, projection all of which are not directive here within and as the principle of what is best for all.

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