PETRIfication and changeability What is a structural resonance? Day 800

Petrification and changeability

One of the things I notice, especially in talking with people, is interest yet also, a sense of an inability to move, as in take the next step into following through. This would suggest, that an ability to realize is inherent, and yet that ability to change has a form of petrification. Anxiety is a busyness in itself, within consuming the attention, as it has the nature of being insistent. I mean, when one master’s something effectively, one’s ability to generate, has a more consistent quality to it, which feeds upon itself, and allows growth and faith in one’s ability. When one has the opposite, as a practice of being anxious, as having an insistent voice of and as “ what if?” what becomes the echoing voice within? What becomes of the resistance to actual doing that is that voice of and as “ what if?” ? Can such a culture of fear cause a resonant wall of belief that interrupts and petrifies?  One is able to see and yet, because things tend to automate, especially if we forget how this works, we have a resonant discord in terms of being focused and of that which leads to real mastery of something.

In research in children who do well in school, and those who do not, it is understood that the parents of a child do not need to have a degree in higher education for a child to do well in school. This is because the parents can walk the information with the child and learn with the child. This means that adults can learn as they are adults. This means that when one does not know something, be it in the form of knowledge and information only, or real understanding that comes with application, it is because it has not been walked, and yet, as research in education reveals, and as  stated above, parents need not have that higher degree for their children to do well in our current form of child education. This is also something that would embarrass many parents, because it places greater responsibility onto the parents. I am surprised that this is not something shared with parents by teachers in a consistent and constant voice. After all, how do television commercials work? They repeat, again and again. If anything, given this understanding, it is also the responsibility of teachers to realize this in word, again and again towards parents. 

Back to petrification. After all, if a parent is not doing this well understood and researched MEASURE, that makes sense because ultimately, things are built; understanding is built just as learning to crawl is something built, that things are built, what is built comes from both sides of behavior. If a behavior of insecurity continues, and is repeated, it is essentially practiced. If a behavior of careful and consistent movement within a discipline is practiced, with care, then one masters that skill. In essence, one is still within both scenarios, practicing the building of a skill set. That skill set is either of fear, as all the “ what if’s” or of the measure that lends effective self generation ! To believe that one does not have discipline, one actually is always disciplined, because one is practicing something, some measure, some idea, some value, some belief, some form. When one does that again and again and again, it is a practice, because this is how things work. In other words, as who and what we are we are practicing SOMETHING. This is also why we tend to blame ourselves, as in all hate is self hate, because we essentially understand in a kind of hazy forgotten way, that what we do, what we move as within, or without, is our practice, is how we have disciplined ourselves, is what we have chosen to be a disciple of! Thus, an inability to change, a resistance to change, can be a state of petrification because what we have practiced and/or repeated as a form as words and ideas within ourselves, layering this as a practice that builds a discipline, can either be of beliefs that limit movement of insights that lend a greater ability to flow with and change, and realize the awesomeness of real building, utilizing how we work for better behaviors which, in this context, would reflect as a greater ability to change because this is understood. If one is caught in limiting beliefs, that can become a resonant wall that petrifies one’s ability to be that parent without a higher level of education actually walking with the child, making sure they build an effective understanding to the degree that child can self generate with confidence. 

Thus, when I face a client, for example, and that client appears to agree, yet with time they appear to not move, what is it that hinders this movement, but an inner built resonant series of repeated beliefs that are causing a form of petrification in relation to living what is understood as a parent not needing to already have information within them, or understanding or insight, because they can grow and learn with the child and that this growing and expanding, is repeating in a disciplined way, something other than perhaps beliefs that have been repeated within again and again with a lack of understanding how this all works. It is incredible that in the research in teaching children to read, all of this is made visible in what findings that research contains! 

I have been in a school situation, where a boy that came from a home life that lacked attention that child needed and wanted. This boy would, when it came time to read, become so frustrated he tended to use violence towards objects to express his shear frustration at not being able to read. It was unfortunately out of control. Yet, this behavior was a loud voice and a practiced behavior for this boy. He had not managed to get beyond that mood or tone of expression. And, the very form of our public schools are not meant to be that for him. They are a direct instruction model, they are not meant to be the one on one model, because that is costly. Also, just as with animals, once a practice, as a discipline has repeated to the extent it becomes the master of the child, just as effective discipline becomes a mastery of a human, it takes an incredible effort to change that behavior because it is understood that it is more difficult to correct a mistake than it is to learn something correctly in the first place. That behavior can become a form of inner petrification, in that changing it appears to not be an option, yet, with great effort, it can happen. Who ultimately spends most of their time with children and are responsible for that child, but the parent? And, since education is the most important thing, it would make sense in our current money system it is the most expensive thing! And yet, it can be the easiest thing because a parent can walk with a child and build understanding with the child! I can see where there would be so many many justifications coming up in relation to these simple facts that are in our research. This can become such a wall of resistance to what is actually very natural! It means we as humans have great power, what is lacking is to accept this power and take self responsibility! Thus, what is petrification but a fear of taking self responsibility? It all narrows down to fear. 

What is the way out of fear? It is to use one’s discipline which one is using at all times, and to ensure that one directs one’s discipline into building effective understanding of the information that is this physical and practical reality right here, right in front of us as this physical LIVING reality. 

Look at the well known statement of and as trying to get a man to look at information that would take away his salary because it would mean that the means of that man making in income would end, is a form of a fear of change. It is a form of being frozen in a set body of information, one that has been practiced again and again, one that has been through discipline, what that man believes. Thus, when new information comes along, that moves against that resonant blue print of information, that resonant body as the projection of information about something, that is used to direct that man, will ignore, spite, criticize, reject, attack, belittle in many ways, even hiding from that which upsets that inner resonant belief system. This is a form of rejection based on a fear. That boy who cannot read, he is acting out a practice perhaps allowed too many times, and without proper support that cannot be given by a school, to the extent what happens as the self direction is that of that lack expressing itself in violent form. It is the same, one is simply more manifested in reality in a different way. What humans tend to do is justify one action as not being as bad as another, this in itself a means of distracting from addressing the real issue- which is a form of gossip. Project the name of the problem out there, create a discussion around naming that thing ONLY, and time goes by and it is time to leave - this being a form of escape. Even been to a meeting and it appears there is someone there to bring forward a good, and extend that presentation throughout the timeline of the meeting so that what really needs to be addressed does not happen? Where does the statement that a man will not interact with information that threatens their job come from? One can become a master of FEAR, as this is really what this is, it is living being a master of fear. The terms, if one turns the word FEAR into an acronym  is Fear Everything And Run of Face Everything And Rise! We all have the responsibility to be that parent, the one who lacks understanding and yet, sits down and builds a correct discipline because in essence we are doing the same no matter which direction we allow. 

Petrification is being caught in a petri dish of information that one has practiced again and again and again, which is being disciplined!  Behaviors of that limited discipline in ignoring what is here as this living world around us, can accumulate and build into a resisting resonance called behavior. This is why, someone wrote a fairy tale about an egg that falls off a wall, where all the men around us cannot put that egg back together again. Which discipline has been the practice of you? And yet, this makes it clear that this was built, which means it can be un-scattered and rebuilt in simple ways  using the same that built it, a step by step consistent practice over time, until a change happens, which it will, because this is how this works. 

What is a VIRUS FREE MIND ? 

Doing My Best Day 724

There was a point within learning to play the violin, where the moment one expanded in ability, one had to move on. It is a point where expansion is realized as having stages, the process moving in a measurable way, It is moving past the moment of awe in a previous expansion and flowing with the whole process of one’s awareness within greater ability, as awareness within what one is doing, focusing on. One becomes comfortable within the process of becoming aware of something, instead of getting locked in to the micro steps of initial moments of expansion, that can create stagnation if the awareness as to how expansion happens has not the experience of the means of expanding awareness as being the steps taken. In other words, one see only the expansion yet has not enough practice in this to see the forest through the trees, as how the practice of placing oneself into new movements and forms is a living practice that has a direct means of growth as greater understanding. 

I have heard the term lately, a lot, as ‘ doing my best.’  This term is bothering me, because I am seeing this as that stage of being in awe of having expanded in one’s awareness yet, the movement is still stagnant in that it accepts a best and revels in it, to the point where there is resistance to continued movement. It is like making the slowing down of a train or state of being into this HUGE HUGE thing, losing sight of the process that lead to ‘ besting’ one’s own personal growth.  It is like to say that one has expanded in awareness and is not yet ready to move into another expansion, which is really an excuse, because one’s life has only so many hours. It is, not wanting to look at what exists, and wanting to control the very momentum around one, in the order of one’s comfort in relation to looking and being aware of reality here. It is wanting to have the whole world move in the order of changing one’s inner construct , or state of being.  Thus, this is a separation, it is a force against who and what one really is, a physical machine that naturally is so able to process information in this real, physical world around us. Thus, the whole idea of ‘ doing my best’ is a subtle contradiction, or counter intuitive state of being in relation to reality.

Today I was looking at this, triggered by realizing a state of being as a memory from my past, and interactions that I have with others, AND a video that came up on FB. The post was about a movie coming out called hyper normalization.  I thought this word relevant to what I had experienced within my own realization to a greater degree ( that has yet more to become aware of) of who and what I am, and this statement I have somehow honed in on, as ‘ I am doing my best.”  

The word hyper for me represents tension, and tension is holding onto something, keeping the strings in a state of tight pressure. It is to say, ‘ I am comfortable here and I am not ready to change this that I have created or allowing myself to move into with understanding, and unless I  have full control I am not going to move forward.” Yet, one is already formed as a physical state, one can focus here, do the real math of here, and become comfortable within who and what one already is! The hyper-tension in living as an idea of being normal, is already a separation from being present. It is an illusion! Thus, being a state of ‘ doing my best’ is an illusion! 

I mean have a look, the stages of grief are a lot, or the same , as the stages of growth. One denies something, fears it because one does not know it, and thus one resists change, and then there is acceptance!  It is the same with improvement, for example, within learning to play an instrument, a physical real, it-is-what-it-is instrument that is not emotional, cannot complain- that is a form as what it is, that works in a very visible and specific way. “ doing my best’ is a statement of separation from one as an instrument of and as life. My physical body is not emotional, when I eat properly, when I listen and pay attention, as FOCUS, here, I can see realize and understand how I expand. I look here. If I do not realize actions that realize this, I do harm.  Really, looking directly at this, means one must face the shadows of resistance to life, within and as our present system without that is a consequence within allowing the denial of and as this!

What I noticed, have noticed, and speak up about, meeting resistance, is how much, and to be specific, teachers say things like “ I am doing my best with what I have” meaning I am doing/directing-myself with the dictates of the state. This is accepting a collective acceptance of a system, a way of doing handed down by people inFORMation ( because the state is people ultimately) and therefor not having to become responsible for myself. This is using the collective to determine one’s self motivation in practice. This is an argument used. YET, when a child does an action that is simply the reflection of what the state ( the collectives acceptance) has handed down via media, as so much hyper-sexualization and has behaviors within such parameters, such as posting a picture of a penis, those very same teachers jump on the individual and counter the action within the individual.  They attack the individual for accepting such actions. They move from the collective reasoning as how they are directed, and yet do not do so with individuals in their care that are simply doing the same as the teachers; modeling/playing out/exhibiting the dictates of the state - as the state, as the PEOPLE- are the ones collectively handing down what one uses, as focuses on, as allows to determine where they are and how they are within a natural ability to expand in awareness of the instrument that is physical that is here, right in plain sight.  The child is simply modeling what is handed-down, as dictated, as allowed, via the media, as a ‘ pornification of reality= we could call hyper sexualization! 

This is classic projection of what one is doing within, onto another, using the collective with self as justification and in one’s immediate environment , when same behaviors come up, jumping to blame and spite and call out by name what another is doing- as though this absolves the self of what self has accepted and allowed, and/or distracting what self is allowing through pointing out the same action in another!  Naturally, when what something is, is called out by name, it no longer has any power- and one need no degree to be able to do this. And, of course, the action, or movement, called out by name, is going to react- just as Rumplestiltkin did when the princess called out his name, he threw a fit, danced around his own fire and burned up! lol. It is amazing how our fairy tales expose our own behaviors! What is real has to be given, so that manipulation cannot be put on the one manipulating as ultimately, it is the one accepting the mis-information ( direction lacking principle of equality- which is to consider all things)  that is not of ‘ right’ action. This is why no one can put Humpty Dumpty back to gather again but the self. 

I have to say, that when I point out this math, because it is a formula, a math. I meet with such resistance to doing the math of this. At the moment it appears as though there is this spin around this, that there is this hyper- state of being that repeats “ I am doing my best’ as a shield of denial. It is hyper/tense/stubborn/resistant and the collective acceptance of this state of GRIEF/ expansion-in-awareness,  has come to be considered as NORMAL.  It is as though we are in a perpetual state of grief, called hypernormalization that actually shows us how we expand and learn, how we can build a momentum in realizing this is how things move, and yet we stand on that line of resistance justifying our own hypernormalization through blaming the dictates we accept and yet jumping on little individual actions around us that are the consequence of a collective acceptance of what is allowed as directives ! This is hiding in the collective and ping ponging between the individual and the collective within what maintains our own acceptance of rejecting ourselves as life.

How is that working for us? What harm and what suppression of life is that manifesting as greater degrees of attention dis-orders in our children? What are we passing down and waiting for someone else to fix, when it is the waiting that is the action holding the separation in place? 

We understand how human development works. We understand that suppression of this sequence in development causes discord with reality, dissonance with reality, and thus behaviors of tension that do not fit into that momentum that leads to self mastery. Everything is known, thus, the statement ‘ doing my best’ is an admission of a choice to not be directed by a principle that is best for all, as in every moment considering all things, taking that which is good, stepping out of the resistance manifest as accepting a dictate from a bunch of people somewhere in a ivory tower that have no real relationship to what is going on right in front of one. This is believing that there is somehow some greater authority than the natural capacity of self to stand in respect of this reality, this practical physical reality that gives the real means of direction within seeing directly here, and knowing within one’s self how one expands in awareness through looking here.  One must stand as who and what one is, a human being, and call out things by name again and again and again, until through all the dissonance this is heard- I mean, is this not what the state does via media and dictates? Is that state not people, as other humans, who cannot possibly know what is happening right where you are, on that piece of ground where one stands. 

What do you want? Do you want to live a healthy, and productive life, with the time and space to have the freedom to understand reality, to enjoy this reality? To step through the view of a storm-in-a-tecup takes self action. When practiced, eventually, one begins to see the forest of memory shadows self has accepted and allowed to direct who and what one is, and can then begin to see the real life, the real forest as the physical, and can no longer accept what is unacceptable, and, at the same time, give direction and/or face the reactions of separation, of ‘ I am doing my best’ and call them out by name to dis-empower the separation and empower the self to stand as what is best for all. This is, after all, the only choice. 

Day 547 The inner-rest of interest in separation from physical life.

I am looking at my heart, an what is happening there. I notice that I have what feels like a solid “ block” in my left calf. It is getting better, but I have to slow down and breath, and “ read” the construction of belief that I have accepted and allowed within that is the cause of my own lack of circulation. For years I have followed what we are accepting and allowing within our health system of beliefs, and what never made sense to me was the fact that our cells are replaced every seven years, so I thought, if our cells are replaced every seven years why do we age? It is not something anyone can answer. Would I want to remain as a human forever Probably not, I would probably, like humans are apt to do, even if it is in small measure, become more effective, transform, learn new things, so remaining as one thing, as an idea of living forever, is not necessarily something I would want. That is common sense. Life is so many things, thinking of staying just one, makes no sense.

My mother was a school teacher. With her pension she has a cost of living increase. But, this increase has not been coming. It was suddenly stopped for some reason or another. I think it comes form the State of New Jersey, and if we realize the kinds of things the governor of New Jersey is doing, is it no wonder that the coffers of teacher’s pensions are suddenly in a state of lack that cost of living increases are no longer being given?

I also notice that in American cities that laws are being passed on homelessness. Where any support given by a citizen, such as giving a homeless person food, is being allowed to be written into law as not being acceptable.

So, if we look at this, and we realize the information that is available about the transnationalization of corporations ( sounds like something out of the movie Brazil, or BladeRunner) where money as the profits that are the wealth created by the hands of many generations of men that were the parts that moved the resources, and developed the automation overall as it is impossible that one person, or a few could do this, and those municipal workers who believe that their pensions are going to take care of them for the rest of their lives, municipal workers, and teachers who don;t even realize that their pensions are invested in what is the source of the wealth as money from the processing of freely given natural resources, that are now “ off shore” and funding wars fought by the children grown into young men and women, the apparatus of which is built from what is really slave labor of prisoners that were children who existed in such economic suppression that they never learned any structure or communication skills and as such never did well in school - for which we cannot thank the media- and are building all helmets despite the fact that taxpayer dollars are paying for their upkeep, so the war industry “ owners” that are really the biggest welfare recipients because they are sucking off the nipple of freely given resources and deciding that humans are expendable. Even I get to the point where the spin of this is so insane I don’t want to write about it any more. This is because it is a form that supports life in no measure. It is a form that actually has no regard for life, no connection to life, no understanding of life. And most of us, don’t even look at it, we are so stagnant from a school system that spends years talking about themes such as friendship, or how “ special needs children “ are special. None of which is bad, but when recited and made THE theme, it is a mechanism that slows down a natural perception ability that in itself indicates a natural conceptual ability. This is an ability to conceptualize, but the focus of that conception is being placed into a very narrow box, and a very lively - or I would rather say, “ deadpan” debate is carried out within these very very very narrow confines. This makes it very difficult to argue against, because the “ topic” is not untrue, but it is very narrow and those who are making a living preaching it, have no real spatial development, so their definitions are only able to go so far - and they do not even realize this. Which brings me back to the point of myself.

If I become a belief system within, one that has a inner belief system that is very narrow, that has been taught to JUST think that our schools are doing “ wonderful jobs” as what is said at every school meeting, then the gamut of my perception will remain within this narrow discussion. Would I have the conceptual ability to process more than this? No, I would have remained in my chair within these narrow confines, to “ get along and go along” and to not appear to be impatient, and or, “ difficult.” If I had spoken up, without emotions, as the frustration because of the narrow confines being discussed or touted, I would cause a lot of friction, because I am not moving at the speed of the limitation, this narrow window of topic that is not a good or a bad, but simply a tiny measure of reality. In doing so, when I stood up and taken what was being said into a broader spectrum, the very inner “ record” of this limitation, would begin to reveal itself in the very physical manner of the person, because if one takes insight to another level, and the insight level of another person is limited, they have to reconstruct their inner imagery/perception, and to do this takes an inner transformation. If one has been a recitation of a very limited dictate for a long time, then change becomes more difficult. Physically this changing will cause a subtle shaking within the person, and if they are not aware of this, they will become frightened and just not want to “ go there.” The physical shaking appears to be unnerving. But what it really is, is a change, a reconstruction of belief.

One will also want to remain within what one believes, if this change within appears to be scary. And if one has lost spatial ability, because a broken record as a belief system is held onto, then it is even more difficult to change. Especially if one’s access to money is determined by one’s limited belief system. ( for this reason alone , a Basic income guarantee must be implemented)

So, if I have tension within my physical body, it is an indication where I am not moving in common sense of what is best for all, I am not moving with life here, I am not equal to what is being spatially equal to what is the very movement of life here. Where I am  thick within, such as back constriction, or pressure, means that I am stuck in some limited insight. Which means that I have allowed myself to believe that some belief, some measure defines, me, I have allowed this, and this that I have allowed is not aware of what gives as what I am as life receiving, I am not equal to the very movement of life here. And life would move in ways that are best for all, and the all is here because of the physical structural mechanism that enables life inFORMation.

Some where in all these words I write, have I answered my own question, voiced my own quest. I mean words in some ways are limitations, but in all they are the measure of our conceptual ability that is needed for communication between humans that overall are in separation from reality, were we not then a building diminishment of pensions and laws that make helping those without  money would not be what is forming within the present system, especially on a planet that gives resources freely.

Our words reveal our ME- LODy. Words reveal the construct of our inner belief. And since we are individual entities, what we LODE ourselves with as the tools of words and what they build as a belief picture, indicate the scope of our conceptual development, which is our conception of the physical reality that is the formation of how we exist, without which we cannot exist.

Somehow I am defining myself in some limited way, and I am not walking in common sense, hence the tightness in my calf. And, there is a “ block” in my heart area. I have been trying these last months, because I began to notice this in the fall of 2013, to sense this form I have accepted and allowed, and to clear this up, to get this to circulate with ease. But since this has been constructed over time, it takes me time to slow down and see the measure of this as the back chat circulating as thoughts in my mind, and the emotional/feeling body welling up from my solar plexus area, settling in my heart, as what I forgive that is not in equal measure to what is best for all, as this “ best for all’ is myself as life, here.

Since I talked about creating friction in another, and I often feel frustrated and impatient with dealing with limited constructs as what people tout with lively debate in a very narrow window of belief, there remains within and as me, a frustration within addressing the limitations of belief in others. Somehow, I have not moved in a forgiving way, one that circulates with a measure of  creating change in digestible measures addressing a starting point of limited measure. But perhaps, I expect a greater “ return” and this is due to conditioning, as well, where there is really no return, there is only standing in common sense, as this is the return, just remaining here, steadfast with a measure of common sense. It is not so much a lack, as a rushing, and the rushing is the block as a movement within and as me, here.

Collectively, such allowances within, as what each is doing over all, is each of us not considering what it means to be physical entities on a physical world. Each must flow in common sense of what it means to be the physical form of life because this is how life is. Life is a gift, it is not something that is ignored through placing a belief in a heaven, an after-life as being more than what is here as the physical.  Heaven was the separation from being responsible as life, it was in total ( with the hell being those who had more realization that something was amiss and yet had not realized the problem) a lesser dimension of life, clinging to earth to survive, it was the matrix of our separation from accepting the gift of life, as the physical world. This is why Christ said we had to bring heaven to earth in order for life to begin, We had to order ourselves equal to the physical because the physical is the formation of and as life. Thus, what is here must flow in common sense of what is best for all, respecting that which enables life, which is the physical.Is it no wonder that the physical is belittled? What is the real value is hidden right in front of us. It has been said that the truth is hidden in the best place, right in front of us.

The amount of my separation from life is equal to the amount of blame and spite, that i allow within and as me as what I am. Thus, the amount of rejection manifest as a compound of suppression within, which is a behavior of not knowing where to go - so to speak- which is an ignorance that does not move in what would be a fluid manner as common sense of the whole as the physical. This would move with ease, would be directive, as the principle of give as one would like to receive, the principle of what is best for all. This is realizing that the principle is the physical world, and that this principle is what is the real value, one that cannot be moved into the hands of a few men, to become the interest of a few, via a system that takes through a measure we call interest lending. Ironically, when we allow a system of interest lending in monetary measure, we allow our interest as life, to become the interests of others, which creates a system that serves the interests of a few, and a few cannot be equal to the measure of the physical on the ground, because they are not there to see directly the consequences of what is practiced. As this, each unit of measure as each human being, must be given voice and as such, the means to see clearly. This means physical needs must be met, to create an entity that is in a state of health, because this is the wealth that enables life to exist, this is the web of the physical, that which is the formation of and as life, here.

So, I must forgive myself through writing self forgiveness to see the measure of my separation, and then write the self correction that is in equal measure to what is best for all, as this begins with each of us, so that many can stand as what is best for all, so that life can begin on earth. We decide.

Day 545 The Spin

The Spin

I went to this conference and this woman explained this system. She spoke for quite some time. But she said very little. It was like a deja vu in words, so to speak. Like there were phrases that one could make one statement, but instead went round and round as a follow through that was a repetition of the first phrase that used some different words but was the same thing. Again and again.

While she was talking, I listened, because I am practicing listening to another all the way without doing anything else but listening. I became very restless, squeamish. It was like I wanted to scream. I remember being this way as a child in a classroom. But I could not explain why.

Later as I looked back at this, it hit me how words are sound, how we are a sound movement, and  that when we are using our words to describe, as this woman did, that when words are energy, they are describing very little dimension, so they have no real volume. As such, words can fill the space, speak the same limitation again and again, and the limitation can be a lack of placing what the words describe into a context that sees the whole, that aligns with the whole, so the words and what they describe are not good or bad, but limited and lacking context in totality.

The positive and negative charge, as reactions, can be within a bubble as this when one wants to clarify within the limitation as the words of another because one can become lost in the spin of the limitation. Here it is to see the whole of what someone is saying and giving it perspective - as in standing back and remembering the context, as in what a schools and teaching is about, as in building a child that can become an effective adult. But, if this is not taught as a movement from the beginning, this is not the practice of men. The absence of which, if allowed to accumulate, would build conflict instead of resolution between men. As we can see, the state of being of men as a whole, is not aligned to the contest of the whole. The consequence is perpetual conflict. So, those who “ win” simply use the consequential conflict in self interest. If we understood that much, each of us would have done the same. This is why there is only self forgiveness, and forgiveness for all the limiting forces caught in this spin as each level caught in limited measure as the system around us imposed on the biggest part of the whole, the physical world that is life information.

I have been standing up and speaking with people, and at times I get restless, like I am rushing within, and at the same time, trying to be aware of what I am doing, how I am responding, how I am reacting. I have allowed myself to hold onto a goal, and raced with this. But in so doing, I conceptually missed the measure of another within the total insight as to what they were as a measure of expression.

Within and as this I lost the ability to conceptualize within the parts and the whole. I was too busy spinning around wanting to justify, to give justice to what I had to say, and in so doing began to race against space and time information conceptually. And within this, I mean being aware of where I was, who I was, what was moving as the world around me.

I mean , this can happen in music, where one is performing with others who have different parts. If the measure of each part is not hearing the other, there is no alignment happening within the piece, if there is a “ technical understanding” with each performer on each part and everything is aligned, the piece ends up being either chaos, or like different voices that are not aware of one another. When each is aware of the other, they are aware of the physical space and the moving parts, and can move as one, together. So, if there is a mis-step, all align within it. There is also the dimension of bringing one part forward and another becoming quiet, because music can be moving in many different ways, and the awareness of this as a whole can create the total form of the musical piece. And, lol, one can get to the point where one realizes the piece one is playing is really flat, as in not having much interplay or dimension use. It is interesting that in educational research, children who study music have a greater conceptual ability, and often are hired as managers because of this. Overall, this tells us how as humans we are able to see space and time, and we are able to read the movement of the world around us, as though we are the perfect machines/organic robots to do so. But this begs the question as to why there are any children who lack this innate capacity as what we are, and within this lack, exist as behaviors that are in essence destructive to this natural ability to be self directive in ways that do no harm? Such allowance is a crime against life.

If I am raging within ideas, as mind, I am not in common sense of here. I become a thin volume repeated again and again. I have to with every breath become the context of here, as physical reality, to see the spin as mind of another, who is not saying anything bad or good, just magnified within and on the context of physical space and time which in total is the sound of here as life, as this is the only place life could be information, living and breathing.

And, because, here withstands the test of the spin as the mind - which must repeat itself endlessly to survive because it has no real equality to life information contextually, I need not fear not understanding something because the spin of the mind is repetitive and as such there is eternity to grasp its limitation and to bring this back into balance with the physical. lol

So, in essence, there is no place to fall but here, no matter the emotional storm spinning around as mind, here. But, if I have one moment of wanting to win, or one moment of getting off kilter, I lose the capacity to realign and balance out within and as equality with the whole as the physical being life in sound motion, with myself as sound mind. Sound motion, is gentle and forgiving as it is building life, so to speak.

So, it is like to slow down to speed up, to stop the spin of the mind existent as a measure of judgement, and to become practical, the practice of remaining here, within the context, of the physical life information, the cutting edge of creation, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something to win, as i am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dis-regard life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to shame myself with stories as mind, and allowing and accepting myself to make this more real than the life around me as the physical, not seeing realizing and understanding that in my separation from life, I seek life, and it is here, cradling me with every breath, right under my feet.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that physically, as I allow myself to race forward as idea as mind, I create a friction, like a windshield in and as my chest area, that is myself racing forward in space and time as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as my heart is tied to belief, instead of equal and one, in measure of here, as the physical, in common sense of that which I ironically seek, which is life information, that is here with every breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear falling, and to not slow down within and as this, to see, realize and understand that this falling is a sensation within and as my mind, that is at times like a deceleration, in no longer allowing myself to exist as a fantasy in and as the mind, where the measure as an idea may not be good or bad, but is in separation from being equal to the physical, here, and that within this, when there is friction and conflict, it is to slow down and realize that the measure of separation is a limitation that speaks its separation again and again, like a deja vu, and as such is a gift exposing separation and can be brought back to here and placed into the context of the whole as the physical cutting edge of and as creation as life information.  Thus, when and as I react as an emotion of feelings based on idea as mind where the good projection hides the judgement of a bad, as overall what i am defining myself in and as, and because of am not stable and constant, gentle and humble, self directive and self responsible in ways that balance out conflict and friction, I am in effect, not equal and one to and with, and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to race against space and time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I become reactive, I am in conflict with life, as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the “ smoke and mirrors “ show of the mind, as limitations that are not good or bad, but as limitations if carried out in deed can cause harm to physical reality, can become the directive of me, within and as the point of life information as a human being here, only if I accept and allow this, thus as this I am responsible for what I accept and allow with and as every breath, here.

i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that only as, as the point i am here, as a physical manifestation in and as life, can be the directive that is equal and one with the physical information of life, that is all around me, in every moment, and that within this the irony is that i am never alone, because I as life information as a physical entity, am all one, and thus, as mind, I am the creator of the spin of my separation from and as life, as I have accepted and allowed the construct of myself as mind, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the separation from life, as how mankind has lived has been going on for generations, and as such the separation “ measure” is imbedded within our DNA, as this is the imprint of our actions, which science is now measuring as it is realized that memories are carried through generations of men, which is a tradition understood in the words passed down from each subsequent generation as, “ the sins of the fathers” thus the measure of our separation must be forgiven and that within this there is no one to blame because blaming the dead, is not a solution, and the dead cannot be punished because they are dead. lol

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this separation, because it is intergenerational and carried within the physical, and continued through acceptance and allowance as the behavior of each of us, as points on the ground of what holds this separation within, manifest as thought and word, carried into deeds that are the consequence of each individual acceptance and allowance, and the collective generational acceptance and allowance,  that this has accumulated into a system design without as the present system, as it reflects the within separation of men, and as such must be realized as a reflection of the same separation within, as the starting point, thus, it is also to realize that the debt accumulation as the present fiat system of money, is one and as the same movement as what each is allowing and accepting within as the expression of ourselves into a lesser volume of life, that is energy spinning around and consuming the flesh of ourselves as we separate from life, instead of standing one and equal to and with the sound of life as the physical, to become what we are in equal measure to be able to walk through the eye of the needle which is the physical, and as such to become equal and one, to that what we seek, to and as life, here.

When and as I find myself moving within as any measure of restlessness, or squeamishness, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I listen to the repetitive words as an energetic expression having no real volume in equal measure to the physical, as being the answer, the solution in the nature of its repetition, and I move into and as solution, within and as aligning/directing into the context of the whole, as consideration, as best as I am able because I have not been taught/ have not accepted and allowed life,  to be this which is no one’s “ default” but my own, and I use the principle of what is best for all, as being the consideration of the physical, which is the cutting edge of creation, which is what allows me to be an expression of life, here, and I use practical common sense to place a limitation - within and without- into and as the context of life, here.

When and as I find myself generating restlessness, as friction and conflict within and as me, I stop and i breath and I slow myself down, and I practice removing myself from the spin of the mind, as beliefs, opinions and ideas that I forgive myself for in the moment, and I stop the racing of my heart in relation to mind, and I bring myself here, to become of and as sound mind, equal and one with the sound movement of the physical, as that which is sound, meaning stable and constant and as such is what allows the physical form and function of life, that has remained constant because it stands in all its transformation, as that which withstands the test of time, here, and as this I slowly begin to circulate with and as life, as the physical, here.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain within and as listening to another, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I speak only when I can place a limitation within the context of the whole, without any expectation of gain, or fear of loss, because it is only when I am equal to the measure of here, as life , as the physical can I become, in thought, word and deed, the living word, in and as what is best for all, as what is best for all, is best for self, here.

           As Within, So Without. DIP Lite. FREE Process Life.

                                                               Eqafe.com

Day 295 Rebellion, Protest is Not Practical Change

Rebellion, Protest.
Any entity, voice or suggestion of rebellion, protest, or petition will not change what is unacceptable as it is not an act of change, it is an act of complaint, blame and spite. Huge crowds of people standing before a government building screaming “woe is me” is not an action that manifests change. It is asking the cause of the abuse to change, and since the cause of the abuse, the limiting laws and actions that bring the frustration and lack are what has been placed into practice, is the very from as government and system created by the people, this is like asking the people who have power -power that was given within a system of inequality, where money determines food and shelter needed to live in dignity - to represent existence and not grab more for themselves, that do not realize what they are as the mind, as consciousness functions, to stop and give up what they believe as the only way they are going to survive. And they do not, had they, this world would be different.
To have created a system where systems take care of each of us, instead of standing within and as our own common sense power as life, is to have abdicated ourselves as life, because we stopped moving as life, stopped looking at life, stop being life. Thus blame and spite for what exists, directed towards a governing body that is acting in self interest is not going to bring about any change. All this will accomplish is a tightening of control, where those in positions of power will hold onto that power without any consideration for anything else but themselves.
I think of facing a school committee here. Our schools are public corporations, created by the people for the people to ensure that what is for the common good comes before profit, which means, since profit is here as inequality monetarily, that it is acknowledged that profit through money is what exists as this system, and yet the governing body as the elected executives that represent the people as the enactment of what is for the common good: this is the school committee, have taken on the responsibility for the people, the people within the community having a responsibility to stand and to share any new technologies with the executives as the school committee that have stood to represent the public corporation as the schools, within practices that are for the common good of the people, to ensure that profit ONLY is not what is practiced.
What is interesting, in my local school committee is that most of the committee is composed of educators within the system and ex-educators. There are very few people in the committee who are not within or have not been within the public school educational system. ( Sound like the swinging doors of Congress and BIG business?)
So, as a citizen, it is my responsibility to present what I have discovered with my local public corporation.
But this is blocked. One reason is that the committee is so overloaded with paper work that they know nothing else, anything outside of the paper work agenda seems too much, as the paper work needs to be completed.
Another issue, is that this system believes itself to be the ONLY source of knowledge, anyone coming in and suggesting something else from without the system, is considered a threat to the “ego” of the system, as in the system not having done what this system represents, and this system does not want to lose its status for fear of losing its profit. All the personnel on the school have come and offered their services as something they are selling, their skills, and it is up to the school committee to realize which skilled people to place with the public corporation, for which they give a salary to, as the school personnel are “profiting” from their services, and thus this is not profit ONLY, yet since money is needed to survive they must receive some profit, or they will not be able to place food on the table and a roof over their heads.
Within this scenario, anything that suggests that their services can be improved is to suggest that they need improvement, and this would mean changing, and this might mean losing their profit/salary, which means losing their ability to place food on the table.
So, collectively this school personnel “group” are going to ensure that they remain with their power, as each is in fear of losing their profit. This fear is so big that common sense is secondary, and thus clouded.
It is always about money, so the reverse is actually what is lived within the order of the law presented. The profit ONLY is reality an the movement within sharing and living, what is for the common good is second. This is life in reverse.
What I find amazing - and this is an emotional blame/spite reaction within and as me. which I have to work on, is that many of the “educated” members of my community complain about how my local schools are ineffective, and yet the school administration blabbers on about how they are doing a good job, that they “believe they are doing a good job”, the best job they can. So, there is a difference of opinion, and when someone stands up and questions this, they are immediately shut down and considered negative.
Reminds me when my husband was about to commit suicide. I called his male friends, thinking that they would be able to say what i was trying to say in a way that would reach my husband. I even called his family and his boss, and all that happened was that I was considered to be paranoid, negative. In the end he killed himself. And I remember seeing, like a “cloud” like a mirage around him, and I did not understand what this was. And he seemed to be “shaking” a lot, ever so slightly. This had stopped, he had calmed down, and yet that last day, the day before he died, he walked in the door and this “shaking thing” was there again - it really is like a subtle oscillation, and I knew everything had been lost, that we were back at square one. I was so upset, I just stopped within myself, and said, that i had to calm down before I could take any action. Little did I understand the severity of this, as the next day he was gone.
So, it is the same with the system, a collective of individuals all existing in fear of survival, in fear of losing that which has been made into an absolute need to exist, which is a piece of paper as money, as what we sell ourselves for, in order to survive. Where when we have a place on the grid, anything that is perceived to be a threat to this, is shut out, ignored, pushed away, and new laws are placed to prevent loss, to suppress loss, to maintain the profit for the individual as the individual is who it is that does this, with prettysounding words of justification, and meanwhile the total structure is not looked at, only the cloud of self interest as survival, this fear, with a justifying voice of supposed goodness, these two the very separation from the common good, the “what is best for all.”
It is not that with some patience, what is here can be understood, it is that the fear is too great, the fear is the monster under the bed, the fear distorts reality to the point where the justification is made real, to hide the fear. Questions can be asked that interrupt this fear, but the tenacious, and these are usually the ones that have the highest salaries, simply become more reactive.
Asking a hierarchy of individuals, those divided into fear and happy face presentation, to change is like asking someone to give up their food and their shelter, especially within a system where money determines life. The ones who have abundant money, that benefit the most, they are going to have to give up power and all their possessions, of which they cannot possibly use at once.
This is why the structure of the system must change, as what exists creates fear, and thus does not work. cannot work, will never work, and asking this form to change itself, when it is composed of many not being able to see anything else, will, obviously not work. The blueprint of fear of loss and the action of self interest are too busy being held onto in desperation, as how fear acts. If you have ever taken a lifesaving course, and had to save someone from drowning,, that person will fight for their life, and is they are stronger than you, you must know how to turn that body around and lock the arms in such a way to suspend them from behind until they calm enough to start floating and thus breathing. I think I was sixteen, and I failed the first time, my instructor was bigger than me, and I did not understand how hard i had to fight. The people who have found a point in the grid of inequality, are not going to just give up their position of security, their life investment.
Rebellion and protest is just going to create more reactive behaviors, and the barricades we stand behind to protest will only be placed further and further away. And I understand that this has happened at the White House in Washington. The barricades are further away, and the army stand guard against its own people. The landscape is the people against the state, that is the picture, that is the reality.
The solution is to stand up and place a new system through a collective vote, as it is the people who have formed this system, and thus it is the people who must stand and change this. In a way, what is here on earth is a systemic public corporation, it is the cooperation of the collective as the human, as the “public”. It will take an “army” of the collective to realize a change, to actually walk, in detail the structure and form needed to end this drama of screaming mobs and protecting self defensive hierarchies who have managed to get the profit.
This reminds me of my local school district again. The superintendent is hired by the school committee ( this body representing the public “common good”) and this superintendent handles the money, which means this administrator can decide that he needs a raise and thus give himself one, which means that he can decide that he is doing a good job, and give himself a raise. THis actually happened here, during a supposed “override” the superintendent said the school needed money for the budget and asked the community to vote in more money for the schools, and then promptly gave himself as raise. And this, in the face of private salaries not growing over the last 15 years. That action of that superintendent, did it consider the community within this lack in other areas of the community, did that superintendent consider the stressed out parents of thechildren in the households of parents whose cost of living was increasing and salaries or profits were not? Does this person who represents the children, consider the children? As what he/she stand for? No they did not, they considered their own survival only, and not what was for the common good of the community.
So, those government administrators are not going to consider anything else but their own survival, and any questioning, is, as I said, just going to create a greater divide, a bigger distance. Which begs the question on another level, what is going to pay for the bodies standing in the “no man’s land zone? Your are, you the protestor, you the blamer, you the rebel. This is not the means to stop the abuse of inequality.
What exists as inequality, was built brick by brick by brick by humans, the generations of humans that have been here on this earth. Thus, it is the collective, in organization, that must stand and realize a systemic change, through networking and structuring and voting in a system that never allows what presently exists to happen again because it does not work. Unless the system takes care of life, absolutely, it is not a functioning system. And the one we have has been going on for so long, and it is not working, it keeps trying to force what it is to work, and naturally this is not working. It will never work.
And, since what is here has been created by generations of men, no one person can say that they did something all by themselves, because they did not. What is here has been built by many, and what has been built is not good or bad, it is simply how what has been built is being used, so, there is much here that is good, and this can be used to begin this journey towards becoming life here on earth, to ensuring that all that is here is cared for with absolute specificity as what is best for what is here.
Waiting for someone else to stand will not work, as self will and must forgive self as life here, I can forgive you, but this will not work, someone else forgiving me for myself will not work, eventually we will all have to realize that the only choice is to forgive one self to life, which means becoming one and equal to and as life. Thus must the illusion in and as this mind system of consciousness, of competition, comparison within a measure of seeking gain, seeking a more than someone else, this action within self as thoughtas the judging that it is, that when compounded becomes emotion and feeling bodies layered within creating dis-ease , which is the physical showing the extent of separation one has become from life in abdication of self as life. All ideas, beliefs and opinions must be looked at for what they are, are they a preference or are they used to compare within being more than something else, are they comforts that are simply habitual that need not really be an experience that define self here?
Obviously, usury does not work as a practice. It is presented as supportive but the outflow of this is really “taking from Peter to pay Paul” it is presenting “giving” but it is really and act of taking, ensuring the ownership of - eventually - everything to that level of competition and desire for more than, which is what greed is, to one person, or a few people. Usury is a system of control, it is not a system that allow self empowerment, self determination, self expression, self honesty with and as life, self responsibility in and as life, this equalizing of self to and as life, being a self realization experience of what life is in fact. I mean if life is what is here that supports everything, would not realizing this be the real ultimate value? The behaviors of earth at present are of conflict and friction, disease, and war, destruction of nature, this all a physical, visibly recognizable outflow of destruction, it is not taking care of this earth, it is not an act of being forgiving as life here.
The waters of this earth should be gentle, soft, clean, life giving, and they are not. They are heavily polluted, stormy, carrying toxins that are suffocating our oceans and our rivers. All of this is through the actions of men in self interested, self ignorant gain. Self ignorance is not being life. Consciousness is the manifestation of ignorance, as this is what separation is, and it exists as a less substantive form than life, in and as energy, and energy consists of poles of positive and negative, spectrums of a singular action in and as separation from what is substantive and this is the sound of life. Thus, self seeking positives, as what is driven as supposedly being positive within the consumerist presentation are limited, blown out of proportion distortions of reality, and this overblown value is in separation from life. This is why it must be understood that everything ( as the warped reality) will be lost should one walk the desteni process, and yet nothing will be lost, it will simply be brought back to life.
The living word is self in equality with life. It is self equal and one with and as life, simply being, ending the chasing of the addictions of energy based behaviors, that will never be satisfied as they are unequal to what is of substance.
The rewards are the end of fear. Is there really any other reason, especially for those of us that live in the west who have some level of stability - that by the way is not real stability- needed other than to remove fear from existence, is not this enough of a realization to stand and participate and build a system that realizes that all life is the value, and that there is no real life until all become self honest, self responsible, self directive, in and as life? Equal Money Capitalism is to make sense of this world, to bring this world back into common sense. The divisions of belief, opinion and idea, and the propagation of needs, wants and desires that are often partial truths coupled with layers of diversions, to avoid facing reality, and to maintain inequality, are the compounds of a just-I-see-loss/justice of loss as a protection and defense system wanting gain in absence of being practical here in common sense of this physical world. The answer, as the reward, is to realize in common sense what functions as what is best for all on this physical planet. The physical world flourishes with clean water, proper nutrients, stable environments. Taking in self interest creates instability when done within ignoring the physical world, and this is the condition of those continents abundant in resource, and indication that this is a system that is not working with life, that is acting in self interest in ignorance of practical consideration of what supports life, within the realization that life is the value.
Check out Equal Money Capitalism and stand up for life.
Check out interviews on Eqafe, to understand self and the history of existence.
Walk a FREE course to receive cross referencing understanding of self as life with a buddy, to understand how one has existed as consciousness, the manifestation of man in separation from and as life. DIP Lite
Let’s get this done, so that we as life can begin, to realize, see and understand that this world needs to be cleaned up to support the children yet to come, to resuscitate the soils, the waters, the animals and the plants, which is what life on earth is, thus everything that is here is of value, including yourself.

Day 243 What is being "irritation"?

Irritation
What is “being” irritation?
Irritation is a response of no movement, of no ease, of conflict. A “stop”. A loss of breath. An “ I don’t know where to go”, or a “I can’t move”, and/or “ I can no longer see what is here.”
Auditioning comes up for me. I specifically remember auditioning for a group, and immediately, as I walked in the room and began to play, I could not play; what had been so easy at another audition was tense and unmoving within this one. I must have been about 17, maybe 16.
I remember this so well - or so I believe, because I have questioned it for years- in other words sought answers. I remember standing there, being distant, and I remember the manner and ways of the jurors. Even this brings up recently going for interviews for jobs, and I went to many, as I had the perfect paper work, but the minute I walked through the door and across the room towards the interviewer, the reaction and judgement was already set - or so I believed.
Someone told me it was reverse snobbery, as where I live and the field I entered had the local regional accent, and this profession was filled with this: I lacked this accent.
It was not so with all interviews. There were two that wanted to hire me, but it was far away and I choose the stability of where I am for the children. Right or wrong, it’s done, I can only move from here.
My manner and words, did not fit, were not easy and comfortable for the person interviewing me. And, as with this audition, I can remember walking in and shutting down, even within being nervous, as I had been nervous about auditions and not clamped up when the time came. But this is part of being a player, in no matter what situation, the playing had to be constant, and I was not. So, no matter what I deserved what I got.
I also had to learn to read scores, orchestral scores and play them on the piano, I practiced this a lot, and sometimes it began to move. I knew I would be nervous, so I practiced to move within this nervousness. I didn’t make it, when I sat down for the test at the piano, I froze, couldn’t see the orchestral score, and thus could not play the score on the piano. For some reason I passed the class, and to this day I do not know why. I really did not deserve this, even though I had practiced it a lot. When performance time came I froze.
I think it was a little while after this that I just stopped one day and said I was so fucking sick and tired of being this fear that I forced myself to play openly more. I went to recitals at other schools and I watched, I watched the focus, to imitate it, my thinking was, how the hell is this done, it was like I wanted to see how it was done, because I thought, this can be done, so it is here.
I stumbled a lot over the years, but slowly the devil of fear began to be controlled. But there are other factors, a husband dying, when the music world was beginning to open up - after my children had reached an age of greater autonomy and I had stepped back into the field more, where I made the choice to return to my country of origin because being away at night and hiring help seemed too difficult, this after the death of my husband.
I remember one of the last gigs I played, the certainty within playing was a joy. Even the conductor came to my home to support me within the death of my husband. And conductors do not do that unless they gain something. Part of me was going, on the inside, fuck, should I stay or should I go.
On another front, in another facade, there was a residual doubt from the past within ability, but even here the lifestyle seemed too uncertain and difficult being a single mom.
The undercurrent of self judgement, the “state” of separation, the cause of not being present. The fear made bigger, as a judgement of loss and or gain, where the loss is hidden through attempting to make the choice a beautiful outcome. Self justification. Self interest.
Would learning to see the blueprint of the mind, and thus making this blueprint of fear smaller, where the parts were seen for what they are, prevent such happenings, as not being able to direct self within communication with others? Within practical understanding of the emotional/feeling alignments connecting, as system of compounded value judgements within culture, class, gender, age, race, regional accent, style as taught within generational back ground and world exposure to varying stylistic mannerisms regionally being made into values of more than and less than, a bling of presentation, be what is energetically valued instead of common sense in and as words within a clear detailed directive, concise and simple, without endless chattering embellishments of happy face drama, going on and on and on without really saying anything? And imagine this being what is used, by many that are simply the gargoyles of the gate, a facade of talk about how a-mazing this is and how amazing that is, on and on and on, in a way, slowing things down, creating a giant HallMark moment, where the initial task is all but forgotten. Interesting that the term is “ Hall Mark” moment. Building the defense/protection wall, as a hall, as a layer, confining the initial directive. No one gets through here, is really what the happy face, “ let’s talk about how amazing and wonderful everything is,” is about. Programmed behavior to move within the maze that is the system of inequality, stepping up a ladder of relationships to survive, ignoring the view as life, not working with the substance supporting the maze.

I remember sitting in an office, waiting for an interview. The secretary, and another visiter - a young girl who had just finished her education degree- were talking about how wonderful the children were, how wonderful the teachers were, on and on and on. And the girl visiter interspersed things she had experienced within getting her degree. So, I perked up and joined in - to see what would happen - and within my conversation I named dropped etc. - I wanted to interrupt the pattern, because honestly, I felt like I was listening to a Liszt piece, the same phrase, over and over again, the same embellishments again and again, like the verbal diarrhea was extremely tasteful, and comforting. I guess this is how the game is played, happy face your way to the bank.
It is like a torture session. And in some way, this emotional happy face “water torture” must be used and not be of self as what self is, as being within the system but not of the system. THis point of realizing it is just water/energy in and as no substance ( and this is within the context of water being a symbol of emotion as what i have been taught). In many ways it is like being able to read an orchestral score and playing the parts all at once, as in seeing the blueprint of the mind, and how this can be a directive, when, it is to see this as a maze, as a display of parts from the totality as the substance of life, as the nothing, rendering this irritation, as energy, as judgement, small, so that the score is readable, and thus renderable to and towards what is best for all, as the embellishment is not good or bad, it simply needs direction within what is best for all.
Thus, there is nothing to fear within this, as the physical is here, as life, showing the way to what works absolutely through form and function, and the vertigo in the chest need not be the directive as it is only a score of the present system which can be flooded with common sense as the principle of what is best for all to prevent the separation from self as life.