Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Day 508 Is self validation as sadness, care or an awareness of ignorance of consequence?


I read a note about placing a memorial on my local highway and I reacted with the thought, “ that is stupid.”  I see these memorials for highway accidents all along my local highway, and I often react to them.  How are they going to bring back the person? What does pity for the person do in common sense? Does this state of being as inner pity solve the deaths? No. Solutions are often based on practical action, not on basking in emotions of loss and the past, and/or blaming this object - as the person who was involved in the accident and lived. Such self direction within is a limitation because it does not look at the consequences of the present system. One example would be to look at human health, if we are physically filled with toxins and our bodies are not functioning with precision and clarity, then we are more likely to, miss judge space and time, for which our human physical bodies are the perfect mechanism. If we as a collective allow globally, practices that pollute the machine of life as the physical world, and we then blame the objects as the physical human bodies sluggish in the perception because of accepted and allowed accumulative effects of practice that do not follow through and balance out nature, we are not addressing what would bring a change that would end so many of the accidents that happen along our highways.
Having said this, I realize that allowing myself to become a singular thought, as a judgement, about highway memorials serves no purpose towards solution.
Also, I realize that there is a social fear about this within me. I noticed that I am irritated because if I speak up about this, I will be reprimanded, and as such, not get the positive energetic experience of “ feel good” emotions that purpose some kind of meaningful value as myself being a compassionate human being. In fact, the reaction will be that I have no compassion, as what I fear. It feels like I am standing against a wall of limitation. Of course, the death of a child is unacceptable, and I wish this upon no one. But, I notice within me a inferiority to reality, a fear that I am somehow less because I will be considered “ bad” if I do not accept joining into the social group making this one event a means of showing care. Somehow, there is something “ wrong” with me because I become disgusted with the emotional outflows that do not address consequences, and then I go into righteousness to protect my point. And then I get stuck in this. And then, the self validation, which is no different than the use of care outpouring that proposes no real intimacy with cause and effect in total on a finite physical world. It is like saying, no one understands. Which is true, understanding is in a box only, and must realize the total “ box” of earth to begin to find solutions. But myself accepting and allowing an energetic self pity patter needs to be let go, forgiven, and a common sense standing in what practices would balance out a capable sense of self direction in physical reality is all I can model and become, one step at a time, here.
Am I within all this, fearing to stand in common sense of a physical world that is a very practical mechanism that is a gift of life, here? Have I allowed the same fear that is a belief that being practical and as such intimate physically not achievable? And do I realize that this fear is simply a movement from a point of separation back into the whole as understanding the physical in practice? Why is it that deconstructing a belief appears disquieting, when that deconstruction is the way and the means of a quiet understanding, this which is what is sought? Even here, it is to not create an idea about this, because ultimately, it is equal understanding of the practice of being a manifestation of life as physical formation that is the solution. If the machine is not realeyesd for what it is, and values made huge to wallow in are in the forefront, the solution of the practice of being life as physical form, is not being understood. To ignore practical reality is to deny life, to avoid looking at total consequence is to defy understanding, the gift that is right here in front of us, or we would not exist. And, if we look around at this world, we can see that denial of a common sense of physical reality leads to the practice of destruction. All we need do is realize the military budget of America to see the extent of our own self denial of the gift of the physical as the formation of life.
The physical world must be taken care of in ways that do no harm. Our profit based system seeks profit before life, and then turns what does not make a profit into more profit making structures, where all liability at present is placed on the collective to pay for with their labor, that which created the wealth in the first place. So, we in essence are addressing our own practices having accepted profit before life. The collective bears what the collective has allowed. The elite that benefit are doing the same as the individuals in the collective, they are basking in a belief of what appears to make them a “ more than” and in effect being consumed by their own separation from common sense of a physical information of life as what life would be, a gift able to be understood, right here in front of us, we need only look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the emotion of sadness at the death of a child, only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that becoming the emotion of sadness is something that defines me, something that gives me value only.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that being sadness as a state of being only, does not in fact take into account the consequences of why what exists in this earth is an outflow of the focus of myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become the emotion of quilt as though there was something I could have done to have changed the consequence I am allowing to exist as sadness within and as me, not seeing realizing and understanding that this sadness only is myself in separation from being focused, equal and one here, in practical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe there is something wrong with me if I do not remain within the self pity of sadness, believing this to mean that I actually do care about the world, where this state of being of sadness and the use of this to give myself meaning within and as signifying that I care about this world is an abdication of myself as life, essentially the use of sadness to feel good about myself in and as believing that I care, so the need to make oneself believe that one cares about this world, is in itself an indication that one is very aware that one is not in fact caring about this world, that one is not in fact looking at the effects of one act on the other side of the globe as having an effect on the very fabric of the physical as life here where one lives, and as such a situation that is indeed sad and unacceptable, is used to make one appear to care, when in fact one acts in self interest in protection and self defense of not really being aware of self and one’s acts in the physical world lacking consideration of consequences of one’s actions within the whole.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear pointing out how the whole of what is accepted on earth effects every other point on earth, because this would mean that that emotional/feeling state of being used to justify care would be revealed as an act of self validation, which is self actually being aware that the consequences of self interest are not in fact caring about one’s neighbors as all of earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something wrong with me if I do not toe the energy party line of energetic emotional/feeling self validating self interest that justifies being a good caring person when in common sense no one would want such events that triggered the sadness to happen to another and as this what is really resisted is the pointing out of the emotional/feeling state of being in self validation of caring, and within this to stop and to look, as one investigates the forms of what exists on earth that are not supportive of life, as meeting the physical needs of a physical formation of life that is practical and mechanistic, and as such, this earth, when not cared for in total, cannot reach its full potential and as such lacks the ability to measure and balance itself with ease, itself, as life within the physical as what is the formation of life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that becoming aware of what is happening on earth is a process, and one that unfolds as one begins to look and realize the practicality of caring for a physical world in common sense, and that the consequences that lead to sad outcomes are self being unequal in awareness to physical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that becoming equal and one in understanding of equal and one living on a physical world means respecting all physical formation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that respecting life means being equal and one in thought, word and deed of physical reality, which means remaining stable within and as oneself and looking at the very fabric of the physical world and to take care that the directive of self is that that gives as one would like to receive which means causing no harm and giving solutions that increase a volume of support that enables self directive capacity and self responsibility which is each person in full awareness, equality, and as such full potential here, where no rushing need exist, no  sadness, no miss measure of space time, and as this, an existence of ease of communication with one’s neighbor as a gift of being creators equal and one with the formation of life as the physical is naturally the expression of and as life, here.


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