Interference Theory Day 758

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

This is a quote I found that I realize describes a mind consciousness system. It describes that we can hold a resonant story of information. It describes that we can carry past movements, or pictures within and as us, that can then become an interference with being focused and present in the practical. It does slow down learning, as learning. Children in their first seven years learn more rabidly. This begins to slow down by the third grade.  IN all of this, what is described by destine is mapped out in our behaviors in and as other areas. we simply do not realize the depth of this and what this means overall. As a mind consciousness, as a individual ‘ heaven’ we lose sight of what is real, how we work and the consequences of not realizing how we work.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an older adult in my world. They recited some knowledge and information about various people in the world. Meaning, recited information about one race being more intelligent than another, by some measurable standards based on an ability to process information. After all, one can accumulate a somewhat correct structure within as knowledge and information about something and be creative within that, yet is the consequences of that formation harm anything in the physical world then it is not complete, yet within separation as social circles, absent of consequences, they will not see the consequences of their actions, that many appear to be solutions. Sometimes solutions are cool as a segue, yet such options must be available for all, as a benefit, if they are only for a few, at the expense of others, then it is a good that is not being given to everyone. This is unacceptable.

Within this, this idea that one race is more than another, what is forgotten is that that group that may have a greater ability to assess more information and appear to be more productive, what is not brought forward and recognized is how such a division has happened. I went to this talk a man gave about having been interested in a really old excavation in Turkey. The foundational remnants of the buildings were of an old race of people who evidently, according to the documentation found, had a non war-like society. They had a more equitable society. This man was looking for examples of this in the world, in his search for such a way of living.  I ask myself, within what is understood in education, that opportunity breeds capacity, that if a race allows this in the people. within a more equitable society, would that race over time, be in general a more capable people? Just as there is  a war on for the mind, done with information flow, creating a resonant memory as a interference of real presence and focus on reality, would there be a competition to eliminate whole races if another race wanted to dominate the world, that being an understanding that the human form, the physical form, just as animals can also learn when given opportunity, can accumulate as a collective an ability to remain in what is natural and live in greater equality to reality and therefor be more productive, allowing all opportunity for the general good understanding the whole is as good as the parts? And, that the more developed this is the greater the capacity of the group, this group of men, that have allowed this become a threat to other groups that have as a collective allowed the collective belief system as a collective ego want to destroy that more equitable structured people, because that is a threat to their personal storied belief system?  And yet, this means that each and all men can form a ore perfect union even within our differences, because differing environments create different actions as the world is at present in climate. It is amazing how the media can create a busy-ness within a narrow focus between two things that cannot be divided as they are quantumly both needed in development. Remember, one cannot learn to play the violin by mastering the parts individually in isolation, it is a progressive building in awareness of all the parts working together that fine tunes each individual part. 

In understanding this , to suggest that one is more than another as a fixed idea is the same as one does individually within comparison of another person. The collective in-structions of a group, simply reveal the math of their ideas, and how when that does not fit into reality via actions that are causing harm, means that what has been allowed to inform them , as direct them, is an interference with what and who they are as human beings. Within this, we can begin to realize that the media is not imparting information that is best for all, that lends an opportunity for each to self realize in ways, and by extension develop clear resonances that inform the next generation towards being effective in their movements and actions that have respect for the practical and physical world. The war on information, is in itself, an expression of separation from practical reality. It is a storm in a televised ‘ tea cup’ that is in itself a distraction as an interference from reality, from the life around us. 

We need only look at the increase in cognitive dissonance in our children, given names under a general heading as “ attention deficit dis-orders.” Cognitive dissonance is a state of being in a lie, it means one is lying, it is confusion, it is the acceptance of limited story, causing a non-fit into the practical. It is a transfer bias of a limited story as confusion is caused through a mis-information of what is real. This becomes a separation from reality, and interrupts learning and builds a me-more-y that is a false positive.  I mean, in reality, by comparison, we no longer have apprenticeships, where a person can go and live something. 

I understand that the Russians evidently projected the resonance of a frog onto some kind of fish eggs, or some other egg. The outcome was evidently that the eggs became frogs. Within this, I remember years ago reading about how a plant that is a relative of a native plant when planted in the area of a its relatives that are more indigenous, that plant will revert back to the native plant. I planted some Japanese lettuce that was very bitter, and that came back the next year without me having to plant seeds. This lettuce that tasted somewhat like dandelions, eventually became just like dandelions. Of course, someone could say the local dandelions took over, but I am not so sure, the leaves are somewhat different, as dandelions can have different leave shapes; some are more round and some have more spikes shaped leaves. The point being, that what resonates influences us, and that what is more of a balance, will eventually become what is in the environment. To not allow this, one must continually push contrary information. Thus, this is information that is counter to what is balanced and normal and able to be held consistently without causing a state of interference, visible in one’s ability, or lack of ability, to process information.  In effect, the existence of an interference within processing information with ease, as the reality and what is within one as a mind construct of mis-information as not the real story, is a transfer memory of information that both slows down learning/absorbing information and  memory performance. 

One need only look at taking tests in school, and all the anxiety within that, and the stress, to realize that one was caught in memorizing a construct of information that hindered processing and caused a memory of friction and personal conflict. It is all here, simple and practical, and hidden in plain sight. We, each are allowing this, and we must realize this, forgive ourselves, and bring our heavens of and as mis-information, to allow us to balance out equal and one to the real, living physical reality called life as this planet earth. 

Thank you for reading. 

I become what I allow Day 757

Today I am going to look at self pity, that heavy and slow belief that one is not good enough.  It is composed of projecting an idea that one cannot do something. 

There are two points here as I see it, one is that one focuses on the lack, that something cannot be done, and another is that that focus denies one from problem solving. This means that one does not have enough information to walk what would be moving towards a goal that one has. 

Imagine if one is playing a piece of music, and does this. In this respect one simply stops playing, or gets lost if one is moving in a performance. One gets stuck. Obviously, one cannot go into self pity, because one cannot then focus on self pity and what one is doing. The self pity creates a lag that eventually catches up as it grows and takes the attention away, and then one gets lost. One is not focused on the real information.

I would want to hide this self pity. I would not want anyone to know. And, in this moment, I realize that when I expressed self pity, the outcome was usually not what removed the self pity. Looking at that self pity, and finding solution to remove it was the only way out. 

What self pity, the state of feeling sorry for one’s self, does is show us that we become what we allow. We become the math of what we allow within us. What we allow -as an idea, that is most likely one of resistance to more information - takes on a life of its own, it becomes a time-line of and as a conversation within, as a holding onto a belief. Just as a action or movement of being focused and moving in the presence of what is real and composed of as this physical world into consistent focus can build real understanding, This is understanding that is clear stable and able to be spoken about with clarity, A story line of self pity if not cleared becomes a series of movements directed by that self pity, which is a focus on a lack that perpetually seeks validation that never solves the problem and change of focus that would remove the self pity. One builds an entity in separation. One becomes an event horizon of movements in separation from being focused on reality. This leads to stagnation and behaviors of protecting that self pity, creating justifications for it. It has a sluggish processing quality to it as well.

In so many ways, this is why the physical, as the real and tangible world around us is a cool starting point, because it is what we all share that grounds us into what moves as creation, to realize what we allow within ourselves. It is to say that we need one another to have an equal starting point, which is why only allowing what does not harm is so important.

Also, what I notice, is that when one is in some emotional and feeling entity within as belief, there is this shakiness that actually does not feel like a constant, that does not feel stable. I ask myself what this is and realize that I can use this to understand what I am standing as, because what I have found is that this is a fear, it indicates where I am not at ease, where I am not being really focused on the practical to the point where I feel calm about looking at what is here and voicing my perspectives with ease, even if my insights in the moment are not what is best, I don’t worry about whether that insight is going to be accepted or not. Sometimes in such situations, I may bring an insight forward that is not ultimately accepted yet it triggers more insight leading to solutions. Also, I don’t always feel the need to input some perspective, which is okay too.  

That sense of shaking, is a cool red flag in what I am allowing within me. It is where I can slow down, realize any defense in the form of a thought of justification, or a physical resistance, and breath, check myself to see why I am not being stable, and at ease. It is where i can look to realize what i have allowed that has become a story within me, as a belief, and check what that movement is, as energy, indicating fear, indicating where I am not looking in practical presence of physical living, and remove a focus on a lack, and accept a focus on the practical reality. 

Thus, a un-quiet movement within myself, that can be sensed as a state of instability, is actually myself lacking being focused in and on reality. When I notice this, it means to slow down and look at what is practical. It means to slow down and look at what information I have allowed to define me, and to look at the means of the default overall ALSO being the means of the correction as taking the time to investigate what has caused this lack of focus and finding the means that direct this lack into greater certainty in action, and focus on that solution, Then it means to rescript that solution, to make it more real than the resonant story/voice/focus of insecurity.  I mean, this is the same action that one uses, as presence to move one’s self into greater understanding, it is how things are built. Nothing can direct one but what one accepts and allows. Thus each is responsible for what is within the self. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand any and all times I become a visibly sensorial presence of uncertainty within and as myself, that has the quality of a shaky feeling, a sense of a seemingly intangible vibration within me, and to not see, realize and understand that this is myself, as what i have accepted and allowed to define me, as a separation from being present and practical in this living reality, this physical reality, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is myself not being focused and present here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within this I can recognize this, slow down, breath, call this out by name, and correct, which can be done by recognizing the name of the uncertainty causing me to shake, and finding the math, the word, the means of what focuses me here, in the practical, in the moment, of which, I have breath to allow me to remain present to see realize and understand what I am allowing within and as me, as this is understood as to how this all works, as allowing the fear to grow is the same that allows presence to remain here. 

When and as I find myself beginning to shake within and as me, I stop, I slow down and I breath, I stand firmly on the ground and focus here, not resisting what i have allowed, simply realizing it for what it is, and slowing down to be present in this reality as the physical, realizing that what I allow to exist is what I allow to build within me, that comes to define me, and to, within breath, to self correct through accepting the life that is me, one and the same, as the physical reality here. 

More on Processing Information . Day 756

I have decided to do a 21 day consistent blog post. Something that I have not done for a while.

Why? To realize patterns, to improve the ability to see how I move every day. To practice realizing patterns to increase my recognition of patterns of behavior and by extension, call them out by name, because like using a metronome to speed up processing,  I become more than just doing one aspect of something, as in learning an instrument, learning to play an instrument, I do not ONLY learn one thing and add it to the whole, I build in becoming aware of all parts. 

Everyone has something unique about them, we all realize that, this that one could say is somehow lost as we get older.

And everyone has ideas, beliefs and opinions, after all do we not know the beliefs of our friends?  DO we not argue about the political denominations and what they believe should be brought forward as a value? Why is it that we endlessly debate this? We argue about phonetic teaching and whole word teaching, when the process involved both. It is actually some of both. The action of reciprocity between the two takes one forward. It is like a movement into greater and greater balance.

This morning i woke up and moved to make a cup of coffee. I stopped, because i have added something else that i am doing before I make a cup of coffee. As I found myself moving to make the coffee before this added activity, it was as though I could see, as I was lead, by that habit, that was like a cloud around me. It had a definite division between the space of here and myself, and it appeared as something projected outside of myself. Remember many talk about a veil. 

I mean, ask yourself, when you become emotional about something, which has the quality in behavior of resisting something, what that movement is? Could you, if you looked, sense the tension in the space of that? I mean, why is it that we can go to the ocean and sense a lightness, an airiness in the space? Why is it that we can go and walk in nature and sense what appears, or could be called a presence in itself? Just because the information that composes that habit I have changed in the morning for myself cannot be ‘ seen’ what is it that is actually causing that movement to be automatic? Could it be as invisible as I believe? It was not there when I was a child because I did not have that habit? What was that ‘force” or movement around me that I could almost sense the edge of as I recalled what I had made a new decision to do and had to change out of? 

I mean, when I enter a group, because I want to get involved, do I  enter into the group to acclimate to the composition of information, as that body of directing information as the habit of making coffee first thing in the morning that I had to change up to do something new?  When I enter into a new group, am I moving to compose myself to that body of information? Yes, and it is probably natural, habituated with a focus so much on that, that one has forgotten how that following of information is built. In this, one is walking around in resonant bubbles of information, acclimating one’s own resonance to others, with friction when the two are different, as one has forgotten to become silent, to realize potential from a starting point of seeing not only this consequence of resonance but also that which is the physical reality around us that can when one is near the ocean, a remembrance of that sense of lightness that happens when one is near the ocean. 

It is just like learning a language. The language of math, for example. As one practices the basic algebra, one moves with more ease and greater processing ability to the point where one sees the equation and the answer at the same time. If one does something like this in a narrow focus, one can forget the whole and become as I was potentially moving this morning, moving as habit, as a set body of information creating a resonant model, and potentially forgetting the new movement I had made the decision to be and do that I managed to catch and change, and also, could almost, in such a subtle way, sense the outer line of that bubble that must be composed of information that I projected and followed as me. 

It is somewhat like learning vibrato on the violin. I started slow, set the boundaries, and then speed up the movement until it became manageable and natural, the magic being in the doing of the thing. I had to move beyond automation, because sometimes one speed of vibrato worked well in one case, and another in another case. I had to be in control of it, every tiny measure of and as it. Otherwise, it ran me away from myself, and I became uncertain with and as it. 

I ask myself how much I do not slow down to enter into a moment with a clear slate, to not only see my habits within this, but also to see the potential, which I would call change as acceptance and embracing of what is here. This means to realize my own patterns of behavior, and the composition of such patterns in others around me, and what is equal in presence to the living reality around me. 

I see, realize and understand how this that I was this morning before I caught myself, that I was walking in on the valley of earth, and standing in a bubble of values that were quite literally a movement of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, no longer questioned and habituated, of a presence creating a veil of directing information that was a shadow and not myself being present here. It was myself not aware of who and what I am as a living man on a physical planet. I had created/composed a shadow world that I followed instead of being aware of this, and myself here. 

Ask yourself why with age, a sense of space is lost, as one begins to lose one’s natural spatial sense. Ask yourself why in high school, one language as math or language can become something one feels one is not good at? Is this not a red flag that one’s sense of measure has narrowed to the extent one has already  become beliefs filled with associative thinking that has the behavior of resistance to some things and acceptance of others? Is that not the beginning of a loss of real critical and creative thinking/presence/awareness?  Is that not the loss of  being able to change and look here? Is that not the beginning of walking in the valley of smoke and mirrors and only seeing the composition of one’s accumulated value judgements? 

If I can sense the edges of vibrato on a string, can’t I sense the edges of an entity of belief directing a body, just as I did this morning , and do in certain social situations? Does pushing against and resisting such things  allow the two minds of and as this to meet?  Is this how we have come to ignore and abuse this real living physical reality, as that on which our feet are placed that is real? 

Until tomorrow. Thank you for reading. 

Learning to read myself and the world around me. Day 755

I notice I spend some time every day watching the news feed on the internet. Why do I do this? What am I looking for or, rather, which is more telling, what am I looking at, as a form, as a movement? What are the patterns? 

I think of a sports game, where the team cannot get out of a pattern, cannot see beyond the boundaries of their own understanding, using their sensibility to see their own constructs as a pattern, a math, and moving into a relationship of what they are as understanding of movement and form, and opening this up to take in the patterns of the opposing team, and the form of the sport overall - the rules governing that sport- and deconstructing it to reconstruct in one moment, quantumly, to change up their movement. And that as a team, everyone being in synch. 

Or a musician, who has played and  moved with so many patterns, being given a new pattern that can easily be rendered in sound, with and as that sense of the parts and the whole, being able to move the smallest parts around into a yet unrecognized form. This is a changeability that when one learns the parts, the smallest of things, one can order with that. This also needs practice with forming things with the parts, which could be called opportunity.

I look at how we teach our children, using memory. I realize that if we remain within a certain tempo, a very slow one, we resonantly become that. And it is ‘ thing’ that we become within us. I mean why do songs remain in our heads on one level? It just shows how we are like a battery that can hold forms. Memory learning is a slowing down process, not a bad, in itself, yet when held as the ONLY thing we do, to learn, creates a state of being that can get lost in itself, just as a song can get stuck within us. Memory learning is the means of creating cognitive dissonance, because it is a rhythm creating state of being, that in itself can cause a separation from what is actually more natural, as always sensing the parts and the whole of the world around us. 

We then are out of synch, and what we are within, does not fit into reality. We build protection mechanisms, to counter this, and make attempts at building a form to fit into society, yet over all, this effort in itself is a red flag, because it is not the action of always relating to the practical , the physical.  It makes it obvious that what is real is hidden in plain sight. The way out is the way in, to look at what was constructed as a resonance, and to de-compose it, with understanding, and rebuild. It is this process of seeing patterns, seeing the parts and the whole, and recognizing one’s own patterns of what is basically a separation, and practicing aligning this with reality, as the living world around us. I mean, imagine hiring summer help in your restaurant who had been formed in such a way? Would they need as much training, would there be as many problems, would the summer help be more aware because they had practiced being aware of the world around them, instead of stuck in memorized information, and the coping mechanisms of a disconnect from being in synch with the most basic practical things needed to work in a restaurant?  I say this, because I have had owners of salons tell me that finding a good receptionist is more difficult, as though what they see is the younger generation not having the most basic practical ability with inter-personal skills. 

 Myself, having learned an instrument, and having taught children, know what a clear structure can do for a child. As the structure is integrated - which can be done as taking the smallest parts and practicing them, through narrowing the focus, building the presence into the space- when integrated, allows the child to ‘ take off ’ meaning the child begins to realize the moving parts, and use a natural skill to peruse the moving parts and the whole, and read with greater agility, and awareness and insight, and they begin to create the sound, with ease. The outcome of greater self confidence and self esteem begins to come forth. It is like a clearer rendition of the sound begins to happen, a whole world begins to open up. Even parents can see this. I sometimes wondered if this scared parents. Meaning, the more structured and clear sound, which they can notice and speak of, at the same time scares them, as they see their child master something, which is a joy, and yet don’t want the child to go in that direction, because it is not a means to make a good living. Thus the good, becomes a bad, and that value judgement is greater than seeing the means to the end. And, it is interesting, because in the educational research, it is known that people who play musical instruments, make better managers, Why, because they have more practice in realizing the parts and the whole, seeing the overall patterns, as music is so self generative.

One of the things I ask myself every once in a while, is ‘ can I slow down and hear the grass grow.”  Meaning, am I in separation from being present in this reality, this living reality around me, am I aware of what is the same as me, as the plants that provide nutrients and the air I breath, am I aware of what is here, in respect of it, in tune - quite literally- with this? Am I doing that of which I speak? Am I assessing the forms around me, the expressions that are the relationships working in symbiotic ways to remember the synchronicity of life that is me that is the physical? Or, am I wallowing in emotions and feelings, ideas, and belief and opinions that can cause a flight and fight response if questioned? This, in itself a red flag, telling me I need to deconstruct and reconstruct, which brings an opportunity to self realize and balance out myself. 

Do I have the presence and within as that the skill to re-organize myself , in a moment, to realize my own patterns and the patterns around me, to read the space and move in ways that are what is best, as I have the choice yet must face the consequences of my actions, thus in a way, the choice is to do what is best for all? Or, how present am I really? Do I need to slow down, and assess the patterns of my behavior, to see where I am out of synch and then to correct this? I mean is that not what sports teams or musicians do when they assess a read their own formations, and change them up in a moment? Do we not all enjoy a game when this happens, and it appears to be a magic, a magic that is really only a doing, which is the magic? 

In relation to this, I can see where memory learning when only what is used is a huge means of manipulation.  And I can see, how the news feed is/are moving structures to create a veil that protects monopolies that are in them selves a bullying force of self interest,  that have no regard for the life that is this planet, and are filled with all manner of words on a page as legal documentation, that manage a state of not being in synch with this life, a real valley of good and bad, right and wrong, instead of being in tune, being in synch with this living reality.

I noticed that a politician, who had been in the American congress, posting an article yesterday that said the Obama care, or Trump care, as health insurance, were both the problem, that health insurance is a scam in itself. This is interesting too, because there are doctors standing up, after practicing the ‘ health industry’ for years, saying things such as there being methods of vitamin C therapies that can cure, or place the body back into a state of proper function.  These voices are not heard on the bought-and-paid for platforms so many are calling the fake news. One story really had me look at myself. It was a video documentary on the twin towers falling in New York. I remember when it happened that I asked the question as to where all the rubble went. Meaning, I remember that little voice within me, questioning why there was not the amount of rubble such massive buildings would create, on the ground. I mean where were the parts of the supposed plane that ostensively flew into the buildings? I did not follow up on that thought, as all the stories of information rushing around were a distraction that I followed instead of listening to myself. 

When I watched this documentary, that one little question returned.  I did not follow my own questioning. Most likely, I would not have found answers unless I came upon some buried news feed, silent yet running in the background just as my inner question was more silent and running in the background.  

Basically, to explain this in context, the documentary described a form of incendiary action that turned the physical things of the towers into dust, which spread and settled all over, even turning parts of cars on more distant blocks into partial incendiary actions. I ask myself who would have such know how and ability but those who have managed to accumulate excessive wealth, which are only a few in this world today. The distraction onto national or religious groups, is overall, a distraction in itself. This in itself is investigating what form we have on this earth, that we as a collective are allowing. Each has the capacity to do this, and I am sure that others have had those little questions happen - what is left of one’s common sense within. It is there, and it needs to become larger than the sounds of cognitive dissonance called value judgements as beliefs, opinions and ideas that react when a counter belief disrupts the resonance as ideas one has defined one’s self as. That anxiety of ‘ flight and fight’ has to be checked each time it comes up, because we are not in a physical jungle, we are in a jungle of information. This is something more meta-physical and it cannot touch you or define you unless you accept and allow it to. You are the musician, you are the sport player, you, by design, have the ability to see the parts and the whole, see the patterns of how what is here moves, and realize choices that are what is best for all. 

What we are, is right in front of us. What have we accumulated ? Day 754

I remember this concert I did in college. I played this very modern piece, that had no conventional melody as we are accustomed to. IT had multiple time signatures, so one had to change one sense of space in the beat almost every other measure. It really demanded being stable and changing up the space.

After playing this piece many times, in rehearsals and in performances, I had a moment where I realized the piece was not anything I had ever played. I saw it as more of a construction of forms in space. Meaning, it was more like walking around in a shape. One time while performing it, I felt that I as walking in someone’s kitchen. To me, it was like the composer was trying to compose a memory from his past. 

I had forgotten about this, until I, this week saw a video of a holograph of the parts of the physical human body, where one could take the computer generated imagery and either have the whole from the outer visuals, peel them away, or click them away, to see the layers of the systems that compose the human physical body. I thought that it would be cool if we could do that with trees and forests and oh! so may things.

I also have been looking at stories. My mother had said she can’t read history without it being in the context of a story. I asked myself why this is, why for some it is difficult to read the story line of history directly, and that need a context of a story to absorb history. Perhaps, it is that they need the events of history placed in a context more on the ground, more in the scenario of daily life, to make it more real? Makes sense in a way.

Also, I was looking at writing out time lines of the composition of what I have allowed and accepted within and as me, as thoughts of ideas, opinions, beliefs, shadowing wants, desires and needs, a story of information that becomes a resonance as it accumulated and leads to emotional/feeling bodies composing a personality, that directs me, influences my actions, as the information in the machine that is me. I am looking at this, my composition, and the ability of technology to show the real physical storied/layered form, and how humans needs compositions of stories in a more grounded context. And, what happened with the piece of music I played years ago, ( there are some others too) that was so different from what I had culturally been exposed to. Somehow, all of this creates a picture of how we work, of what we have allowed, and of the potential inherent in all of these parts. After all, in the arts, one of the things one achieves, is to see the sum of the parts all moving together. This means that one is processing all those parts, with ease, because one had intimacy with them.  It is somewhat like what is necessary in playing a musical instrument, where one must check within one’s self the body, and the music, the smallest being checked and the whole, even out to the audience. THIs is, as I see it, a more correct use of the imagination, the ability to ‘ move through the eye of the needle’ and see the forms around one, the living physical compositions around one. 

What we humans have done, is gotten stuck in a resonant emotional feeling body, that defines us, as we cannot see what we don’t know, what we have not consciously allowed ourselves to sense, to feel, to realize. What we have not allowed ourselves to practice. I mean, there i a school in India where children learn to use a sense, of sensing with presence, ( as what I call this here) objects in front of them blind folded! All these things that are here, showing us to ourselves, our capacity is so right in front of us. 

In this state we are in conflict , meaning it is so unequal to here, that we are, in a way, from my perspective at the moment, so resistant, to ‘ in holding’ of our construction,  to what is here, to the real storied information that is the physical that is the instrument, that is the means of expression as life. I mean, imagine being able to be in synch with the forms around us, as what I experienced on probably a lesser level, with the music,  imagine being able to sense the sound formations of the trees and all that is in the forest, to know this so well, that one can pan in and pan out and also sense the whole and the parts in a quantum way? Imagine walking in the music of life, that is the physical here? Imagine, instead of being in fear, in tension, in anxiety, in resistance - because it is work to resist this!-  being in synch, as ease, with the forms around us, and using one’s senses to become intimate with the math as the forms as the stories of inform, as the physical here, as the forests and all that composes this living reality, the real story? I mean, on another level, why are we fed so many pre hyper-sexualised failure tales from day one, that are read, again and again, and again and again, made into movies, with songs to memorize etc. etc.? Why are we not taught to be in sense and awareness of what is the living fabric of reality all around us? Why do we not become the ‘ father rejoicing in the son, and the son rejoicing in the father” Why do the words exist, as ‘ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil’ ? What does that mean in relation to what  I am saying?  Is it not the image and likeness of how a separation from life would be, as this also pictures the lack of presence and processing of what is right under our feet? LOOK! 

I mean, why are our children placed in  box, where words are so slowed down, moving in such a stagnant manner, where we practice using those words, those notes those sounds to memorize a picture, a form, and abstract, that is so removed from the physical world around us, and done as memory, which is in meter and tempo and time, incredibly slow! Remember, we become what we practice, and thus, if our rhythm is of a certain tempo, and we repeat that again and again, we become that tempo. Like a hamster on a wheel we acclimate to that tempo, and then we get stuck in the resonance we generate as it, and become just like a train running on a track no longer able to see what is real right outside the window. Would this fit into the idea proposed so long ago, of walking in a valley of the shadow of good and evil, a resonant construction  caught in its own web? I would say, yes, this is what we humans have been doing for a very long time. It is time to deconstruct this, and accept ourselves as life, and stand here, to accumulate a presence in reality, in this physical symphony called life, to understand it so well, that we see the parts and the whole, and can move into the layers, and UNDERSTAND it, and then work with it, be in synch with it, and sing life! 

The means are all around us, we can use technology to do this, to help us. Nothing is all bad or good. We can transform this world into real living, into the life it was meant to be, as we are the most perfect of forms to do this.  We must step outside of a limited resonance, and begin to process here, to be able to process our words, our sound formations, our notes with greater mastery, and use who and what we are to sense what is here, all around us, until we are all, as no one can be left behind, in balance, in the real song, seeing the real story, of and as the physical.  We can, realize the sum and the parts of our resonant mis-take on reality, and correct this to then step by step, as this is how things work, to see, realize and understand the sound of life in expression in form, all around us, and we can use technology to help us to accumulate actions/movements towards this. It is time to get our processing speeds moving, deconstructing what we have allowed, and rebuilding through, and this can happen at the same time ( I wonder) refocus onto the parts and the whole, and develop an ability to sense the sums and the parts until we are in equality and oneness with what is here, as the living form all around us.  We are, in essence, life. 

Working with my own emotional firewalls Day 753

I had an interaction with a family member where I noticed that I rushed in something I said. If I look, I realize an pattern that I have lived come forward. It is a color of rushing, and of trying to get on top of something said, to both push it away and fix it. What also happened is that what was being explained by my family member, the overall story did not come out in one moment, it came out in a series of moments. This is noted because in hearing the whole situation, the movements being described became more clear. I realized that in the environment where things separate from this story, were being done, so the interaction moved from one focus to another, as the sort was told during the completion of other tasks. 

One of the states of belief I move into, is to rush, like to talk in such a way to fix a problem as though I know, before I hear the whole story. Like there is a sense that i am supposed to fix something. If I do not I am not a good person. I am inadequate. Within this I can see where this idea can become a distraction, and I miss elements of things only to be embarrassed later that I did not slow down and listen to the whole story of information that is describing itself to itself, because this is what we do in so many ways, to substantiate a person who is basically resolving something. Here, I want to say, it is almost as though humans do resolve their issues themselves, walk through them, what is needed more often than not, is listening, being patient. After all, one of the ways we have become a consciousness of separation is because we did not take the time to look, to slow down, to self realize, to walk our past actions, to deconstruct and reconstruct to realize how we are caught in a situation that is out of synch with an easy flow and understanding that is non-disruptive of what is more natural as a state of being present. 

In realizing the patterns of separation, in the game of blame and spite, projections of values onto others for a perceived fault, which is a perceived imbalance, there are sequences, of reactions and actions, patterns, and these can be realized and within such, one can become more patient, and listen, even within myself, and play with seeing the forms. Somehow, I rush within this, and it leaves a sense of unfinished business, where I then blame myself, become ashamed, want to go back and fix something, go into self pity, a sense of impossibility, when right there, was a flow of description that could see itself and resolve an issue. In a way, one only need retell the story, and lend a mirror image of actions that pull the whole together to allow a reciprocity for the teller to see more the parts and the whole, to have insight into what they are revealing to themselves, because in a way, we all know what we are doing. 

In a way, the solution is to bring forward the pattern for self recognition, that pattern given, through listening, and to use the imagination to show the form, to lend self discovery. This is being agreeable, and working through a mis-understanding, to allow insight with self as another as I would want this for myself. And, to be consistent with this process, to become more agile in recognizing it. After all, I am here, so why the rush? Becoming a rush to define, creates an information bias, or a focal distraction, as ideas, beliefs and opinions. It is lacking  a faith in the command of who and what i am as a human being, that can take in, or listen, to hear the whole form, to recognize patterns and align them with presence. Here presence means not being reactive, not wanting a gain, or, wanting what one would want for one’s self. BY this I mean, an understanding that in meeting with another with insight , one has a steady groundedness in understanding that can stand in time, and be more compassionate without coloring compassion as a value judgement as a gain. After all, humans are less anxious and more productive when they are focused.

On a greater scale, the time to listen to others, is so missing from our society. This is apparent in the form of our schools, that are more listening only to one person, as are the platforms of the media. We rarely have the time to get what we see, to reflect on what we are seeing in the very form of our busy lives. And yet, we are taught to listen, but not reflect on what we listen to.  We do not look at what we have taken in, and relate it to the practical that is so missing in our lives. And, ironically, what our younger people are losing the capacity to do as they become adults. I mean, I have read complaints that younger generations have no interpersonal and practical skills. How can they if they spend their childhood years only watching and listening, and without follow through into application? In some ways, as a society, how can we blame them when the adults have allowed a system that does not lend the time to listen, to be patient, to resolve, to place what is being heard, and as such, formed, into practical applications in this living reality? 

And, within this, punishment of this, is not correction. Thus, punishment is pointless, it is only more blame and spite. it is only more of the problem. It is like the dis-ease has to become so big, to much an ‘ elephant in the room’ before we acknowledge this. It is like the chemical fixes as drugs placed in the market, that have not had careful studies done, and that start having side effects that grow and grow, are buried, are denied until they can no longer be denied, and the drug is taken off the market. These actions of not taking real care, of not really listening to what we are doing, are not of benefit for us. How many times are we going to allow this before we realize there is only one choice? That choice is to slow down and listen, to realize the form, see and check the consequences, make sure there is no harm, and then move into action. Such care, real care, real consideration would lead to greater presence and more faith in who and what we are as mankind.  Otherwise, we all become personalities living in juggling the lack, and wonder why we did not really live our lives when we reach the end. This is why, there is not other choice, but the choice to do no harm, to take that which is good, as that which brings clarity of practical purpose, and to realize the patterns within of separation and the focus of and as what grounds us here, to be present in this life, in the art of real  living. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the valley of value judgements.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down and hear the whole story, to allow that story to come forward, in all it details, which means in this present existence, of busyness that sometimes the whole story takes time to unfold.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some form of competition, and that I must prove something about who and what I am, when I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want a quick fix, not seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I speak, before I speak, especially after having walked so many patterns that I can ask myself if I have enough information, and even to ask more questions to bring what is informing and occupying another, and myself to get into all the corners of the story, to check and make sure a clear understanding is formed, to them begin to deconstruct and reconstruct into what lends presence , as greater presence brings greater insight, to the extent the gift given which is natural and who and what we are as humans,  is aligning into clarity, into practical actions that can move with no uncertainty, and a real groundedness that brings ease.

I forgive myself for, as  a reaction to my own default, for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, self blame and self hate.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then move into a belief that things are impossible, when I am here wit what is constant as the presence of life. of creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down, and to realize in every breath in every moment that I as who and what i am as life, can slow down, listen, be patient. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on a belief that I am not enough, and that remembering being grounded here, is impossible, when I am possible as who and what I am in form and function as a living being, as a man, here. 

When and as I find myself moving into resistance, I stop, I breath, I slow down, and I see realize and understand resistance as a red flag, to realize whereIi am rushing, disrespecting who and what I am as life, as self blame, blame, comparison/competition,  self pity/ disempowerment,  giving up, self hate, and I stop, I breath, I ground myself here, to live the practice of presence and patience, to stand as what is real, as the practice of being present in who and what I am, to live the realization that there are no problems only solutions, and that who and what I am, is more natural.

When and as I find myself moving into a sense that things are impossible, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I become agile in living insight, leading to living solutions with consistency, to stand in living the joy of understanding and being in and with and as the presence of who and what I am, which is life, here.

When and as I find myself believing that something is impossible, I stop, I breath, I listen, I hear, I stand with presence in consideration of all things, breathing through anxiety, to hear what is in synch with life, as this physical world that is me, and that is all around me here.  

What is Draining the Swamp ? Day 752

I had a conversation within someone where the ‘ math’ or equation as words contained value judgements as ideas, beliefs and opinions. Myself, though not emotionally reactive to a large degree, found myself rushing to answer to ideas brought forward. It is about, for me at the moment, bringing things down to practical basics, or, down to real time, on a physical planet, down to the ground, to the simple.

It is when things are voiced again, as though being brought forward as a truth, lacking details of the basics as to what we human beings are, and how we accumulated what we practice in thought, word and deed,  that I sense within me a rushing, which is a fear, as a drive to be correct or right. In this I lose my own perspective, and begin to drive, to combat, to force, to beg. 

I noticed that my shoulders come forward as though they are a protective border for my chest, as though I sink in my chest, thrust out my arms in a behavior of expecting a blow. IT is as though the ‘ blow’ of something, already happened. It is as though, the words or behaviors which are a collection of words, reflecting ideas, opinions and beliefs, based on a past, on an environment, where the words also reveal wants and needs in relation to fulfilling ideas, and beliefs and opinions, to make such correct, or dominant, towards a goal that is in itself, lacking consideration of all things, of the basic starting point of being a physical being on a physical planet. Instead, a layer of ideology, lacking practical consideration, is what is projected, personified, self defining, becoming a self interest elevated from the practical, this in itself lacking in any real sustainability, thus the nature of it, is, as energy, unsustainable, uncertain, and therefor, this has a forcing that is justification, because one has to get this out fast, in a way, before it is exposed, revealed, seen for what it is as what a justification hides. An emotional firewall of distraction, in protection of what?  

With the way I hold my shoulders, there is an underlying belief, that I am constantly in combat, as such movements of self preservation as personality, are the way things are. I must brace myself for the storm. It is so interesting, how what we practice, as what we believe, accumulates into physical behaviors, where I, as a reference, realize that I practiced this fear, this protection and defense, based on expectation as a judgement, that I am constantly being bombarded with stories of information lacking practical grounding in reality, ( as I am/was the same as what I speak of)  and that I must brace myself for this. I was so busy with this that I did not realize that which I did, that which I accepted, that which I then practiced, based on a belief, again and again and again, until this became so automated and embedded into my flesh, that it took time within slowing down and breathing, getting out and working through this, until I began to notice myself own self accepted constructions automated into my very flesh, determining my starting point, even when I realized this, slowed down listened to the words of others - all based in the same manner yet of differing measure - that I began to see where the process of synchronizing all of this, within and without, revealed how much I was doing that which I was unaware of, it had become such a habit. And, to note, that I feel like I am having deja vu, in this moment, because I have been here before, realizing the depth of my own deception in the construction of my own personification, of ideas, beliefs and opinions. 

How, on the one hand, within learning a musical instrument, I could see what the accumulation of my actions allowed, and moved into a flow, that I could them become automated in, to the degree where I actually lost control, and then had to reintegrate my movements with presence, and yet, not see this in who and what I am as a living human being on a physical planet? The simplicity with which manipulation is achieved, is astounding. Chaos, is done through limitation. That limitation separates from a natural awareness, as evident in the fact that children are not born with the dogma of religion or politics. And at this point in history, we can see that the religions and politics we allow on this planet, are not grounded in practical applications that consider all things and only take that which does no harm, which, to note, would mean that ensuring no harm means really taking the time to understand things, practically. Our religions and political systems tout themselves as lending morality, which if they need to tout this, it begs the question as to why? Because having to say something in a separate context, means that it is no longer self evident- which is a red flag in itself. A real morality, would be an honesty about the practical, giving as one would receive, which means doing unto another as the self would for the self, and the self, as life, would in a state of balance, not choose harm. 

In my conversation, that I noticed a rushing to prove something, even though smaller, I noticed my shoulders and chest taking on a formation of “expectation of coming blows”, done verbally, as a math of constructs as ideas, that I had to move in some way towards. It can be so subtle, what has accumulated and become automatically personified. When I am this, I am not objective about the content, nor am I as available to the math as the words, because I am caught up in a focus of expectation as protection, instead of real processing of reality. Again, I must realize that nothing can define me, but what I accept and allow.  And, that what is here can be ‘ played’ with as reformed, as grounded in the practical, in synch with this reality. And, also, that words can be used to define, to clarify, and to investigate to lend greater presence into awareness of all things. It is, in some ways, that considering the physical, is far easier than moving through mind constructs that I have me-more-eyed ( a resonant energy memory), automated and inter-netted within and as me, in separation from reality. Being in the math of a resonant memory, moves, by design, like a slow motion syrup. At times, with some, it is as though it can be sensed as a thick moving time frame- like a piece of music lost in a tempo unaware of itself. 

In tandem with this, is that sense of ‘ playing’ in a quiet and calm manner, where that construct of information comes like a movie towards me, as words, and behaviors somewhat similar to my own, of different dimension and color, as that same automation in others as my own, that sometimes I get a glimpse of, a sense of joy as being at ease can exist. It is like it is a problem that can be solved, like when one really knows their algebra, and can see the answer to the equation instantly, as one has practiced it enough to get to that point.  And yet, again, a morality in some way, within me, that moving into being playful and joyful about this, is simply not allowed. It is like a line I cannot cross. I see fear, and a belief that such is not possible. Like, how dare I even think about being this. And a sense that being so, leads to mistakes. Yet, if I look, the one fed the other, as the protection and defense system of expecting blows, which is a belief that I am somehow not enough, as I did not know how to decode and recode with clear communication, as I was more than likely a child, lacking language, that this whole persona - as a math, as a measure- was the choice that I made. I accepted and allowed this, and no one can change this but the self as me. It does not matter if it is my fault alone or not. And yet, calling this out by name, cancels it out, as calling things by name takes away that which is supposed, or assumed to be hidden. It is like, ‘ I can no longer go there.”

I met with another person, who agreed with the things I am saying above, and yet, on another front they denied in action that of which they agreed. They said they could not read a book that presented information through a venue that was overall counter to their belief.  This means they could not process out the relationship within the overall venue, to see the good in the book that was more of a universal form. This in itself,  reveals a relationship too polarized and of judgement, as the emotional value judgement about something, was too prominent, to bypass, to see through the graph into the substantive elements in the construct.  I myself am guilty of this, as there are books I pick up to read that have so much clutter around a cool point, that I decide to put them down.  

Last night I tested this out, and picked up such a book, and decided to highlight the key points that made sense, around the clutter. It made processing the form, the information, with greater ease, as I gave myself a behavior, to ground in the noise of the book’s words. It was also a point of looking at where I was rushing through passages, to make sure I was clear on my assessment, and to see that the person writing the book was themselves processing to make more sense. We must remember that words on a page, are just that, they can never be the real thing, and they always describe something. Unless one has real living experience with something, one cannot make a determination that the words on a page are valid. And, to realize, that there is so much in our immediate environments that reflect this reality, that we can relate things to the world around us to realize if words on a page are indeed substantive.  For example, I have seen more and more wild animals with mange that I can remember in my local environment. This is a red flag, because it shows an imbalance in nature, a tipping point in some way. With all the chemicals humans are taking and using, as pesticides and herbicides, did we not realize that such things of apparent no-significant-difference would eventually accumulate in our environments though our discharge of waste from what we eat and the chemicals that we take to supposedly maintain our health?  Would not such things in the law of building through accumulation, become an elephant in the room,  to the extent they burdened the environment to the point it weakened and effected the natural wild life? Yes, and this reveals how deep and ingrained is a personification in separation from this living reality. One must ask one’s self how automated has one become as ideas, beliefs and opinions, that motivate actions in a zombified way that is  a state of distraction via a composed resonant memory, to the extent one is not aware of what one places in one’s body and how much, over time the accumulation of such, as tiny small movements, affects the ecology of the planet. 

The quantification of separation is visible, in every move, in every word. One need only slow down, breath, begin to deconstruct one’s accepted and allowed personality as automated behaviors, and see through the emotional firewall built of limited and supposed beliefs to this living physical reality. One must, open up one’s chest of sensibility , as presence, and realize the value is life, as living in a physical composition as what life would be within the very means as the physical and being present within this, in consideration of all things, realizing the patterns of separation as a lack of focus on this living reality. Overall, what is more constant, is the symbiotic regenerative nature of a tree, than what are the practices of men at this point in time on this earth. One must change up one’s processing, deconstruct a resonant memory and begin moving  in relating words to reality, and thereby, begin to see in the momentum a default of automated beliefs, made personalities and deconstruct them to reconstruct a more balanced and grounded and respectful practice that is a relationship of living equal and one to how things are built, and how things in nature work, and how one can move more in synch with life.