Only You Decide Day 708

Outside the trees continue to grow. I sometimes forget that they are outside being trees. I remove myself from the physical reality around me. I move into an emotional polarity, inside my head, in my imagination; a blueprint of my experiences, colored with value judgements. I become a train of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are in separation from being present and focused here, considering all things. What is here is me, I am individual yet a part of everything here. I cannot live without the trees. And, why would I want to? I mean trees are an amazing technology. And I, as a human, am a technology to. I am composed of cells that change every seven years. That is being an amazing technology.  

Just like a computer, I can become slow if I am not aware of what I accept and allow within and as me. If I consider only what is on my hard drive, my memory, and believe this to be more real, or of greater value than the rest of me, then I polarize my presence and thwart my will away from all that is me. I am physical, that is my starting point, all those cells, working so diligently to maintain this form so that I may be present in the magnificence of creation. This creation is all around me. It is the physical. The game of superiority and inferiority, that more equal stance that takes a superlative and qualities it as somehow being more, is the illusion. This is the game of playing with that memory, and separating one’s self from reality. This is the game of hiding in plain sight what is real, because only what is here can be used, because here is what is real. 

If I allow that memory to be the directive of myself here, in this reality, I lose my conceptual ability.  Ever notice how as we age, we have to walk slower and slower, because we are no longer present and here.  With this magnificent machine that can replace every cell within a seven year period, how can such a separation come to pass? Ask yourself what it is that is the cause of a loss of conceptual ability development in perfecting a presence in reality, this physical world?  Should not those who have lived here in this physical reality be the models of presence in reality? Would this not look similar to someone who has mastered a musical instrument? Is there anyone who has done this? And would this not be the simplest thing really, so much simpler than all the justifications against this being possible? Would not that busy work of this not being possible be a cognitive dissonance of a memory gone astray? Can we call this ego? Is this not a false morality, where all the parts are not necessarily something to throw out, as some are in alignment with practical reality?

We have a system where we have allowed a sovereign entity to determine what we think, how we maintain our health and what we do with our time. And yet, I have had a policeman say that a sovereign movement is a cult! lol, it exists, one can see this in the immunity some higher ups have, they get away with things the chattel, as the population of personas, as people, cannot. In a way, it is a cult, a culture where a few can do what they want, and the rest foot the bill.

Also, we have allowed our labor to be monitored and directed through acceptance and allowance, feigning ignorance- when we are so capable of doing the math via the incredible conceptual  ability and sensitivity inherent in the design in and as a sentient being -  that what is for sale by the sovereign corporation we have accepted and allowed - is meant to suppress and limit, otherwise the game of control of those who have abdicated their common sense, and those who have become somewhat more responsible as the beneficiaries of this corporate trust, would not exist. This game ends up limiting both ends of this spectrum, this polarity, this system of value judgments in separation from the physical reality. It is the mirror image of what we allow within when we believe our memory is greater than reality.  We have put our trust in God and that God is money, where we allow our efforts to flow, and that flow builds a castle that at present hides within the label of capitalism, that is really what was once labeled as communism, and is really an oligarchy held in place though a collective amnesia of one’s own acceptance and allowance. 

And meanwhile, that tree is out there making oxygen to breath so that those cells can attempt to replace themselves and sustain this opportunity at life as in-formation as the physical to self realize creation as what one is, and then stand equal to and with it, to conceptually be present, here , aware.   What if there were a dissonance to life, in the form of a picture show, within, visible yet invisible, called energy, that is a polarized self warped into limited ideas as a self  in self abdication of accepting a common sense of life, physicality, who and what one really is? Do  we read enough to understand that the density of the matter in our brains tells us the degree to which we are present, having payed, or paid attention to what is here in reality or not? What if this were a form of pollution, a death cult so visible in each and every human being losing all conceptual ability to the degree that they no longer can walk with ease at the end of a life that began without religion, without nationality, without judgement about race, ethnicity, or gender, without ideas within a limited morality and without fear to stand up and respect all things? That starting point of some greater degree of clarity before the resonance of the sins of the fathers sets in, that starting point that  could see with clarity that the proverbial woman made wicked in stories told in childhood, one of many seminal moments of planting ideas leading to the dissonance blinding reality, this woman, labeled as wicked, was really cinderella in another life?  

How can one begin to remove the chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions, composed of value judgements, a false, as limited,  positive? One must master language, the words. And then, one must read a lot. One must realize that the spoken word is no different that the written word. Ask yourself, ‘ What are you wrapping yourself around as the words you accept and allow?”  What are you creating with the things you form with your mouth and the space in your mind? What are you forming with your thoughts and your spoken word? Be careful, because what you form layers in the flesh and goes to direct who and what one is, because what we practice automates us.  Are you present and focused here? Are you able to do the math?  The means to perfection is the same means towards a disassociation to reality. Can you walk with ease anywhere? 

I would suggest to start your journey back to life. It is time to master yourself as life, the cells are there and the trees are there to help you, to sustain you, to give you the opportunity to walk through the eye of the needle and remove yourself from the cult of death known as ego.  I would suggest, to practice self forgiveness and self corrective statements to program yourself equal and one to life. I would suggest to really get to know your words and take care within what you wrap your mouth around, and your thoughts around. it will determine if you really live or die. No one can do this for you, and blame is blame. Self forgiveness and corrective application is yourself gifting yourself life.

DIP Lite is a free course to help in your journey through self forgiveness and self corrective application towards your journey back to life. And there are many free interviews on Eqafe. You decide, and only you.

Day 555 Distraction away from Common Sense into an Idea of Gain

I realize that I have been having expectations, and then I fall because these expectations do not play out.  I then go into analyzing the situation to discover a mis-step. Then a rant starts in wanting to blame something and become obsessive in figuring out how to address this. 

Even if I am correct in my assessment, it is the rushing forward in haste and frustration within choosing something to address from a starting point of blame to and towards something that creates more rushing, instead of slowing down and being practical about the situation, asking questions to really discover what is limiting, because if I remain within myself, as a reaction, and go off in secret to figure things out, I end up building ideas that have no direct solution. It is not to say that some measure of reflection is not productive, this must also be done, but to know the balance of this, within the whole scenario of living.

Our money system is much like this action manifest. Meaning that we rush forward to gain something. And what has happened is that money/gain has become the order of men’s existence on earth, and now we are enslaved to our own personal desire for gain, to be defined as something, rather than being at ease here, and enjoying being life.

A child is not born with any sense of money, they must learn this, as they learn languages, and culture into which they are born, into the religious systems within their environments.  What children will begin to do is order the world, collecting all the aspects of the physical world around them. The physical aspects. And then they begin to learn to move within this. The culture of men, as the order of men, is learned, each believing their culture and religion to be more than another, when culture is just a measure of reality and nothing else. What is same within all men is being physical.

This is really an illusion, because the real gain is to move, at ease, with the physical, realizing that life is the value, and that the physical world is the means of expression and that to be so means using common sense, because we are the machines built of the substance of life as sound formation  to exist as common sense. This is why advertising must force itself into every corner of our lives, to maintain the distraction from common sense. This is how strong common sense is. And it is right there beyond the veil of the mind in a rant of limitation.

When enough people begin to realize this, then standing will be done with ease, without violence, and within standing until it is done, but it will take many to do this, to silence the voice of profit for a few, the rant of self interest made manifest as how we are allowing money to determine life, gain to determine life, as the accumulation of wealth, when the real accumulation of wealth is to become equal in understanding and working with practical physical reality, with ease, with grace, with humility, with out any sense of fear. So, overall, this system is our fear in action, which means we, each of us are in essence maintaining fear when we continue to allow a system of profit being monetary accumulation instead of an ease and enjoyment with the physical world around us, where another’s self development is our own self development, because we are all life, and in order to become life, the physical world around us must become the life within, as the form expression in common sense, equal in sense within to the without as the physical, the real means of expression of life. Here, no one is alone, yet every one is individual. It is up to us, we decide, but the rant of the mind, an abstract, in separation, lost in an idea of gain, must equalize into common sense of practical physical reality, here.

Day 470 Wholeness Enhances Individual Parts

I watched a documentary on cancer. I have known that cures have been suppressed in the name of profit before life for some time. Still, every time I am confronted with this, I become righteous, which will not solve the problem, as in becoming equal to an understanding as to how and why this is allowed to exist, within and without. Looking at what within each of us allows this suppression of solution, this being what removes suffering and allows ease,  must be what is lived as me, in every moment, until this is constant.

I also realize that this suppression of solution, as finding a cure to cancer, flies in the face of all the other developments of men, as so much has been developed to see the small, so, within this, as this documentary points out, there is no reason that a cure for cancer has not been found. So, the media propaganda that “ there is no proof” is more suppression on top of suppression, and all in the self interest of creating a form that moves more to others in the form of money, thus the form of usury is the directive again and again and again, spiting life in a desire to control to have more. 

I mean, this is the same reason natural resources on federal lands are leased out to private companies, where royalties are small in comparison to sales. Always, each form moves the value, as the principle to a few, without any regard or respect for the process of creating values from what is freely given by this earth. Our regulatory systems would rather see a person suffer than provide a solution. And the blame as the nature of obedience is placed outside of self, this self being a part that is what creates the whole structure as our present system, thus we are all to blame.

Since the media is the voice of those that have assembled in abusive ways the money that moves values created from resources by the many and of what is freely given into a separate controllable and collectible object as value placed on a piece of paper, the space of air time is bought and limited aspects are presented to ensure and maintain this pyramid of inequality and it resounds using repetition, which means we humans can be programmed, which means this is known, which means this is being abused. Yet, on the side, if we could process information more readily and within this see patterns, conceptually we would see this abuse. All of which begs many questions about our present education system. Given the state of the world, our education system follows the same law of profit, because the suppression of realizing the whole and the parts is how inequality can be maintained, and obviously, this is a consuming effort - this suppressing - I mean, would we have the present drama of politics if this were not true?

SO, the problem is that we have suppressed what is natural, our common sense, our depth perception, our ability to see and understand form and function, and it is buried under the polarity of good and bad, a consequence of judgement within a self interest as a belief only of a more than instead of what physically works as form and function, the gift as a point of stability, to use ourselves as common sense of physical manifestation of life, where we can see with clarity, right in front of us, what is a movement that causes no harm and is supportive of life, as this is the value.

The law of profit must be aligned to what supports the physical world realizing that the absolute value is life, period, readily visible as a movement that causes absolutely no harm to plant, animal, human, water, air, soil, etc. 

Our education system must become what allows a child to interact with physical existence, as obviously, memorization in a classroom is, as a form, indoctrination - not that it is all bad.  If a human child has hands on direct experience with physical reality, then that child learns about how the physical world works, which is not what a system of inequality would want. So, again, what is here is not what is best for all on many levels and because of the harm this present system of inequality is creating on earth, it is time to change this system, to one that become the law of life being the value.

The rewards of this are a clean earth, a functioning earth, on every inch, on every part. This would create an earth where one could walk freely, at ease, healthy, developing understanding of the physical world. Such a world would enhance the individual parts creating a whole that is the real” more beautiful”, where each part would become its full potential. It is to realize that this is the only way to each individual point’s full potential. I mean, and I have said this before, would this not be the most fun thing any of us have ever done?   Just forgive all the judgement of good and bad, all the incessant comparison, just stop, come here, be here, connect here, build a structure that supports all the life on earth absolutely, to that we can stand together, as this is the only only only way to become the strength of yourself as life because it is the parts that create the structure that enhances the life of the whole, and thus the parts. Support  a Living Income Guarantee as this is realigning money to give each part the strength it needs to build the extraordinary which is life on earth.

Day 385 Self forgiveness on the para noise of my mind

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to listen to my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a walking listing of items in and as my mind at the exclusion of all else, worrying and fretting about how i look, what i am going to do/believe I need to do next.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others around me constantly instead of directing myself here in common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want comfort, to believe that I need comfort when I am here on earth which has air to breath - if it has not been polluted by acts of ignorance and separation from reality as the physical that sustains and is the gift to allow us to be here experiencing life, here, being equal and one to and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an idea of what it means to be here, as this is thought and thus not being here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the violence of thought, the violation of thought only in and as making thought more than life, more than equality and oneness with and as what is here as the physical world that is what i am as life, this which is visible, here, real, 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that thoughts of comparison within a limited morality, an idea of what makes me a more than within a system of profit where money determines life, is so limiting in its directive it is astounding that this has been propagated just so a few can live in comfort, this desire to live in comfort a separation from reality, the extreme play out of what we have all accepted and allowed in separation from being here, equal and one to and as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist doing “ paper work” administrative work, such as taxes, and bills, and organizing all the bureaucratic filings that need to be done where it seems that when one thing is done another thing is sent to fill out, as those who are the paper pushes living a diminished life of pushing papers have to justify their jobs and thus layer endless justifications  that are really meant to eliminate so that money is pooled to a few, which is a crime against life when not made efficient and done with common sense which means looking at the present system and realizing it is not efficient and what is best for all in that it is not supporting the life that is here and obviously supporting more of the same that has been going on for a long time which means it is not structured to be supportive and solve inequalities, as the only answer is equality and oneness which is to realize the value is life and that systemically the only choice is to create a system that supports all life, as life being the value, and in common sense every point of this grid of inequality, which is separation from life, acting in self interested survival without questioning and taking steps to be a directive change that realizes that what exists on this earth as a system created by men, is not in fact supporting life and thus is not supportive of life, because if it is not working for everyone than it is not working and any resistance to this is simply self resisting common sense of the physical actual real world that enables every human to breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become blame and spite about objects and systems within this world, as this is anger, as this is fear, as this is paranoia , myself in separation from and as common sense of this physical world, this dialogue, this log of “ die”/death in and as the voices of my mind of a limited morality leading to death as a life never lived, is designed to navigate within a system that in itself is in separation from supporting and realizing equality and oneness with and as life, the physical which in totality is a separation from myself as life here, as life is directive, interactive, giving expression of life, as it would like to receive as being life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my mind, as the voices in my head are a GPS as an order of the system created by men as mind as being in separation from the substance of what is here as life, which is sound, gentle and forgiving, moving within and as an absolute purpose as life would life, thus the voices in and as my mind are my separation from life when made “ god” as being more real than what is actually physically here as how life works as being what is best for all as the only choice is what works for all, here.

I commit myself to realizing that the flow of money can systemically be organized to support all  life that is here as men, within taking the value as men working with their hands in various ways, and giving a basic income to all men as the resources of this earth are given to support life and that support has been developed through generations of men, thus no one man/human has created what is here as life as the system of the human and even here what is here was created by a reptilian as the manifestation of what we have all accepted and allowed as ideas of more than and less than within and as ourselves, all of this the substance of life here, and thus nothing can be owned as all that exists is the gift of life, thus it is to order a system that supports all life, as life being the value, which means creating a basic income grant to support all life, to allow life to no longer exist within and as limited and destructive survival behaviors that are simply life in lack, and to stop blaming the object as the human and the animal and the plant for its limitation when the very substance as earth as life is denied and thus creates a behavior that is destructive as a limited expression in lack for which we are all to blame as what is here is us,  of same substance , thus what is here on earth as the present system is the sound of life manifest as separation  as energy ignoring itself as life, thus all abuse is a separation from life, a crime as it is destructive of life, for which there are solutions, which at the moment is to stop what we are allowing and to stand as a system that realizes all life has value and that that value can be expressed when the physical world as life as what is here is supported absolutely, which means standing and structuring this system of money to flow to all men, to provide the basic means to live a life of dignity within and without, to create a chord of stability as life physical, and expressively, in thought word and deed, which means an education as to how the mind functions, how the physical can be at ease with proper nutrition, and how the human needs interaction with life, with the society of life that is here as the physical, as life on earth is very mush an orchestra of life, each part needed to support the whole where no one part is more or less than another as all life is equal as life in expression here, thus we are one yet individual.

Check Out:

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Economists Journey to Life

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Day 361 "God's" heaven is more of the same.

I remember having a thought way back before desteni and this thought keeps coming up in relation to my process at the moment. I am really looking at how to respond to others. What I notice when I talk with people, or as I listen to people to stand back for a moment and not respond, to listen to them as me, to see what they present as their words, as the surface. As, I notice what has happened in my zealous approach to explain consciousness, I get lost in shades of grey, so to speak, as I address the words without looking at them in context of here, as I have allowed myself to be lead by desire, having an expectation and in this my desire to explain has superseded insight in the moment, simply being here and not fearing failure, as having a desire to explain I end up looking for a way through the maze of words and as such ignore the words, my sight on the “ way through” instead of the facade in detail which must be addressed and made aware of itself. This is like addressing the mask, and bringing it back to physical reality in common sense of what is best for all, as simply looking at what is physically here, the projection of the personality the use of the past as memory validating a separation from being self responsible here.

In searching for a way through, I ignore the totality of here, even within what has been accepted and allowed as personification of the past to avoid self responsibility, I become mired in habit, in the past as creation of myself here as this is the detail with which I have built myself, my morality with chains of words that reiterate this and justify this, as this is how I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate in survival.

My children were much younger, small. I sometimes felt trapped within caring for them and myself. At times I felt I had not time for myself, and at times I felt that I was so limited within exposing my children to the world. The means of financial support locked us in one place as a family, and the responsibility of school locked us in place. I could not move out of this. Thus the only exposure to animals from other continents were the local natural history museum that was right down the street from me, where there were these dark hallways with lighted storefront like windows with stuffed carcasses of exotic animals. So, I took my children to look at the dead every so often.
I think the transition times were the most difficult because there was not really enough time to concentrate on something, maybe enough to just barely hold onto something but not really move forward, as I saw this. In the afternoons I would become so tired that I wanted to sleep and sometimes I did, but i had to fight to stop this because it was not a solution.

I think it was this time that I had this thought that somehow heaven was no different than here on earth, that whatever was going on was not changed within going to heaven. In other words it was all the same. THe second part of the thought was that something needed to be faced and cleaned up and that all of this was somehow “ outside” of this problem. I did not have the tools, instead I tried to organize myself to not allow the tiredness in the afternoons, this heavy feeling that would come like clock work. I did not stop to think that it was the very state of myself as my emotions and feelings as this tiredness that was the cog in the wheel as my behavior, all based on my past, and self judgements. I did not even have the ability to tell anyone that I had this thought, as somehow these insights that popped up once in a while I kept to myself, as though I had been trained to remain silent within them. Here I have memories of my family and relatives telling me I was other-worldly, intuitive, spacey, odd, without any kind of explanation, just titles that sometimes I took to mean I was special but always that odd sense that somehow this explained nothing and if I spoke up I just received more of the same, so I learned that there were some things that were not spoken of, and if I did speak up I accepted a lack of response. Sometimes I did it just for the hell of it as there was nothing to lose.

But, this is acting superior, as in believing that I am alone, as it is a separation from equality and oneness. It is the same as not facing what is here that is what separates as the past constructing the self validation as the facade as the projection of self abdication using a more than and/or less than quality system to hide from being self responsible as life. Our built survival suits, really to survive our own created fears of being life. Like, “ Okay, I can’t face this now, just let me wrap this idea i have of myself around me for a moment longer.” And in the comfort of this I/one fell asleep. We are all sleeping beauties, but it is not the kiss that will wake us, it is allowing the touch of life to be recognized as what we are that is what wakes. it is the symbology as associations we accept and allow that are the walls of our burial into sleep. The material of sleep the morality of culture, class, gender, religion, creating a mix of relative values argued in separation from physical reality.

Thus, I cannot fear the facades, as this is the projection away from physical reality , from what is real here. In fearing to face these facades that are compositions of values within relatives to class and gender and self definition as behaviors of supposed positive and negative values used to define ourselves and when questioned are instead of being faced reacted against as hurting feelings that are basically facade maintenance in not facing what is happening on earth to life on other parts of the planet, and even here where I live. One example is the disappearance of the horse shoe crab.

So, I doubt myself in facing this facade, as the reactions, and I also have desires and expectations that catch me up in an idea that I have failed because i imagine and outcome instead of remaining here where things are solved and brought back, so when I try to fix what is here, I end up trying to control what is here and weigh myself in comparison to an expectation/desire for success. And this does not exist, as there is no success, there is only here. What is on the outside of a layered facade as a personality, as ignorance, as protection and defense, as hiding, can only be faced as the layer before me, as the beliefs, opinions and ideas, voiced, moved as, here, the separations that are only limitationsfrom being equal and one with the substance of life here.

If I look at these limitations I realize the structure in which I lived limited me. The financial limitations were the form of the system. Insane that dead animals were the allowed choice for children to supposedly have exposure. What I focus on here is the focus within myself. So, within these times when I felt tired, I looked only at the existential limitations and did not consider my own thoughts as being limitations, even when I stopped to not allow the tiredness.

All of this was the consequence of a lack of structure within. Meaning, a lack in having a clear direction that addressed uncertainty absolutely. Since i am a physical beingness here, how i move myself here within this needs a sense of structure of which the physical gives as it is what i am here, both being of the substance of life.

Thus, if I am within imagination as idea, especially as the idea, the very very limited idea, as needing to make a living to survive, and that is limited systemically to only certain venues as professions, and these professions are all in service to a few who reap the profits and thus return their profits to maintain their disproportionate gains that create incredible lack for so so many, which is removing supportive structure to the physical world, as life, these ideas I allow that are the morality taught to adhere to this purposeful lack I have really not looked here, and I have not realized a structure within that gives clear directions through the fear of loss as I have not taken the time to slow down, and move from fear and uncertainty and looked here as myself to realize how to move where yes, others can help within this, but ultimately I must structure myself as direct myself here, and I must realize that everything that is here must learn/have this is well, every human, this an innate capacity as life that has no direction because it has not been accepted and developed by self, not allowed systemically through absence, not given, not SHARED, not communicated. Thus we are all to blame for not stopping and looking at what would structurally absolutely allow each human to develop themselves as what they are as life both as physical support and inner directives as an order of being able to self direct as what is inherent within and as the substance that is what each of us is, which is life.

This is the mess that has created the separation from life, the lack in structure in self development within and as life, of which each of us has accepted and allowed, and instead created a system of such divisions that a separate reality/dimension as heaven was created for a few to hide from reality, from facing themselves, this all a huge division from life, from equality to and as life, this made so huge that it is the only thing believed to be real, when it is a far from the truth as we can probably possible get. It is the veil as energythat is the separation from life. Heaven was a projection in separation from equality and oneness to and as life as what we are, as that which used the physical world as what was real, to sustain itself. And this makes sense because why separate heaven? Life would be “ heaven “ as what life is! Thus the idea that this is somewhere else is and indication that there is great separation from life going on, and that separation is because there is a lack of directive capacity within being here, equal to the physical reality. And the lack of having a directive supportive structure is no fault but our own because we did not look. And the outward system we have all accepted and allowed on earth, is a consequence of this lack in directive capacity within each of us, and any fear is a state of imagination in loss, where the answer is to give self common sense direction within and as what is best for all, as all that is here is of life, equal and one to and as what we all are. Thus there is no choice but to stand and change the system as the many hands of men that we are into a system that supports all life as life being the value, which is a system of equality, using what we have created to get this in place, which is money, to do what is best for all, to allow the forms that are here to function within themselves as life, to provide the structure within and without to be self directive as life, realizing that fear is simply not having the directive clarity, which is unnecessary as the physical as the substance of life, by nature can consider itself within and as what works, what is best for all, as each is one with life, and yet individual as self, thus everything is connected.

As, well, is it so with myself, individually here. If I allow imagination as expectation based on limited survival morality that is in separation from realizing the physical world is what is real, and I have accepted and allowed this as directive, then I am so busy with this that i am not looking here, and within this at this point, I have to realize the separations from here and the lack in self directive as life structural learning/habits in others, and I have to realize that if I continue to accept and allowed a survival morality that is extremely limited and based on fear from a starting point that began within myself as not having built a structure that is directive absolutely within equal consideration and respect for life, than I will only perpetuate separation from life, for myself and thus for all, which means “ heaven as life” will not be what is created/accepted.

So, within my allowing myself to be expectations I am being an expression of a survival morality and as this I become consciousness as this is the construct of a survival morality and is in separation from life. Then within this I judge myself and am no longer self honest as life. The means and the way beyond/out of/ equalizing myself to life, is to self forgive myself for my separations into limitations that were of hiding from life, protection and defense for my limited morality, acts of comparison to compete and measure progress within this limitation and fear, and to correct and give a directive structure to and as myself using the principle of equality of life, realizing that I cannot be life until I respect/understand life as this is how life will respect/understand back as me as it as what i am and you are.

It is to realize that our survival morality play has scorched the physical world, and to stop and to begin to direct ourselves structurally within equality and oneness, realizing life is the value, and giving ourselves this so that this becomes what exists on earth absolutely as this is “ heaven” on earth, the only place where “ heaven” can exist, to prove that we are all able to be the gift given, which is a gift we give ourselves, which is life.

So, I will begin to walk self forgiveness and corrective application, to align a limited survival morality into a corrective self directive that is what is best for all as this is what is best for myself, to give as I would like to receive, to respect life so that life will respect me back, which is to equalize myself to life, here. This needs no killing, no war, no conflict, as it is simply accepting and allowing here, earth and working with this as the form that it is, to equalize with and as it, and once this is done, which will take some time, to begin the journey to life, as this journey is not really begun until each and every thing on earth is equal and one to and as life. It cannot be any other way, that is common sense.

Day 356 The lesser self imagination as projection reacting to self judgement.

I have a person staying at my house. I have noticed that they basically have two “ Moods” one is “ dark/closed/vacuous” and the other is lively/smiley/happy.
It’s like, “ who are we today, what face cometh forth? So this perspective I took back to myself. On one side, the negative polarity, I fear failing, I fear rejection, I fear saying the wrong thing, I fear being seen, I fear having to speak up, I fear being ignored, I fear losing what i have. On the other I realize I become authoritative, busy, officious, proud. It is like this is how I project myself as what I have learned to be of purpose within what organizes and is the way to take care of my life. But the values of this as the being of myself within the negative face, the emotional face, is so busy with itself as its’ nature that it does not stop and look here in common sense. The positive “ directive” personification has a whole set of rules about how to be organized and efficient. It is not to ignore some of these guidance structures, as the remediation within what worked and what did not work is fine, but it is to not take this personally - or to label another within such a way also- but to use this to realize what works that prevents a mistake and to reflect where the mistake was not being self as life, meaning in equal consideration of all life, which means using this actual physical world and becoming aware of what works and that perhaps what created any friction and conflict was a self interested desire that rejected and neglected equal consideration as in loving your neighbor as yourself, which means being patient with a neighbor when they are acting in self interest! It is the being of self in self interest within limited consideration that the existent system is one of inequality and that the physical world is what supports us in form and function that is the mis-take, not the person, as the person is capable of understanding life, it might take some time, but there is no other choice, as we all know that anger and stress as fear of loss, the byproducts of inequality supported by unequal distribution of what supports and allows self responsible development physically and mentally , does not a state of health create.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from a common sense of what is best for all in and as myself as life to judging myself as a failure, to believing myself to be incapable of looking here, to feeling less than in reaction to a reaction of separation from life as the voice of blame and spite and judgement within and as the world I was raised where some values were made bigger than others to suit survival in a pyramid scheme that is the outward manifestation of an inward self abdication of life as myself and every other human on earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I created a personification of values, as belief, opinions and ideas, to suit myself to be ready to survive as I hid from myself as life, into and as energy as consciousness , a lesser self, a divided self , and then became automatic within and as this, thereby creating a restlessness within and as me as I was not utilizing myself as life and as such became disquiet in and as myself within into a nervous maintenance of constantly checking the limited order of myself I had created as a lesser self and within this lived a restlessness that had a sense within that somehow the promise of my choices, as ideas learned as a child, did not materialize, and yet it was not the existence in many aspect that was good or bad, it was the limitation that withheld a full sensation and interaction with life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations that were concerned with ideas as to how I was supposed to be as a woman, as a wife, as a female, as a teacher, as social interaction where I did not consider the physical world and the lives of others on earth as the plants and the animals and the soils and the rocks and the water of this earth as I considered only the human societal structure and the proper perspective of keeping a ‘ peace” within this limited interaction that in totality as mankind , was in separation from being one and equal in consideration of all material things that are of this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how what is here is a sound of life, meaning a movement in and as life, and as such, when in separation causes a friction and conflict with here as it has no real substance to hold onto of which self as life is composed, meaning there is no “ holding” to seek, and thus loses ground and becomes reactive, which can only be directed within the principle of what is best for all as all that is here is of the sound of life, and therefor can only be life when allowing life here, thus any destruction and or killing of life cannot be life, as the only choice is to allow life, as this is an action of understanding life, in all forms, even those people and children, plants and animals, sands and soils in the middle east, thus to bomb a country is not an act of supporting life, of allowing life, and thus is an act against life, as all acts that are of destruction are acts of friction and conflict, which is an indication of a separation from common sense of how the physical world functions and such is acrime against life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the simplicity of this, and that it is the friction and conflict as a state of being in and as energy, in and as ego, in and as consciousness, as actions of blame and spite, of destruction and disregard that is an extreme state of disease as in fearing a loss, fearing death, that builds a complication when not addressed that develops consequences that take over the directive of ourselves as life in trying to fix the consequence that was created because of a separation from life, from equal consideration of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my back chat in and as my mind is the voice of trying to fix the consequence of my own accepted and allowed separation from life only trying to solve within a scenario of pros and cons within limited associations as human society without regard to all life, of which no solution can be found.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how much I listen to the consequence of my separation from life, as the voices of more than and less then being in answer to the consequence of my separation instead of seeing the catch 22 for what it is, this division from life that is myself judging here as what is less than and the means to a more than as the positive, this being in a state of friction an conflict weighing options within limited means, where no answer can be found as the only answer is within and as equality and oneness with and as life, which means being equal and one with all that is here, as the plants and the animals and the trees, and the soils and the water, that none of this can be owned as it is in totality a composition of life here, and thus is the way and means to being life, so destruction of this in any way is inequality with and as life here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that all reactive expression are of energy and thus cannot touch me unless I accept and allow them, as I am life, as I can stand within and as the directive principle as what i am and become equal and one with and as life in accepting what is here as earth as all on this earth and directing myself within equal consideration as the principle of what is best for all, as what always brings friction and conflict as judgement and fear of loss back to what supports absolutely through understanding how the physical human body functions as consciousness, through explaining how here works, as what is here is many forms in expression of life, and that these forms can be seen realized and understood, it is the separation from self as the sound of life being in full capacity as individual and collective common sense of same substance as what is that which is the basis of all life on this earth and all of existence.

Day 327 Orderly with Tulips yet NOT with men?

People talk about dogs as having had obedience training, I have even heard some say that “ that person has not trained that dog”, which means that dogs can be trained, and the dog’s behavior - dogs that are supposedly “less intelligent” then men,- is because the owner has not taken the time to discipline the dog. But then we blame a human for their behaviors! There is obviously a disconnect here in logic. A dog can be trained and the fault is not with the dog but the owner, or , for that matter the dog’s behavior is blamed on the dog having been neglected and/or abused. Why is not the same attitude used within looking at the human being? Obviously, if a human comes from a stable home, they are more likely to succeed, so a human that does not succeed, or is unable to “get a job” and take care of themselves, it becomes the fault of the human. Even plants are looked at for what they lack and what they need, even looking at the soils as what determines the health of the plant. But with humans, this is not practiced. What would make a healthyhuman is not what is sold in the stores, is not what is produced. Is creating an ideology that humans are “more than’ animals a ploy to hide the fact that they are actually the same, needing an environment of support and education to become all that they can be, and that it is the environment that creates the human? The fact that education exists admits that humans can change and develop , thus a lack of education disallows development, real education does develop the human, and that if this is not happening than something is not working within the system, something is not working for the human to be able to become self directed, self honest, self responsible. It is not being given.
This lack of development in the human, makes no sense, especially since we humans have developed a system that can cultivate fields and fields of seemingly identical and supposedly “perfect” tulips. This shows a systemic approach, developed and practically organized to consistently produce something. Yet, with humans, we have a belief that each individual human is to blame for their behavior, so on the one hand we blame the individual, and one the other we create systems to produce a consistent outcome overall. On the one hand we realize steps needed to create consistency and on the other we ignore this. But here is the “twist.”
Because we, as humans, are systemically able to organize what is here and developed what is wanted in an orderly fashion when it preserves the self interest of profit, would mean that the very behavior of the human, as it exists at present is of a systemic design. I mean, there are so many prisoners in the United States that it is now a profitable business, our prisoners are making all the war helmets, and the tax payers are paying for this, and a profit is being made, because these companies that now run the prisons are showing their profits! This would mean that prisoners are created in a systemic way. So, this can be nothing other than profit from abuse, profit from a measured disallowance of potential, which is a suppression of life.
Then we have this “star” quality we have turned into a carrot on a string, turning self development into some magical “state of being” that only a few have, as though we as humans are a hive society. Ironically, there is a place for all expression, but a forced expression, is not freely moving, it needs chains and dictates, and thus an indication that life is not understood.
With this system, we have allowed the “exception to the rule” a “rule” of separation from life, a “rule” of inequality, to be the norm, and the development of a person within self expression to be a special “star” quality, yet with our systems of production we show ourselves that we can organize consistent development. The two are at odds, and one admits the other ability, either being suppressed or allowed development. How does this make any sense?
This would mean that we are rejecting looking at what is here in common sense, and that we are all within limited insight of the actual physical world, choosing to look “here and not there”, it means that our media is selecting values and presenting them, building ideologies that can be deconstructed because they are not considering the life around them in totality. As long as money determines who gets what is for-life-given resources on earth for the profit of a few instead of being used to allow all life to develop as it is meant to function according to its inherent form, what will exist is abuse of life, abuse of the form of life here. No matter what is said in opposition to this, the evidence is everywhere in the destructive behaviors this present system creates.
Life is being completely rejected and then beaten with a stick - so to speak- and those doing the taking in self interest - are a robot of limited belief, limited insight, limited opinions and ideas. As long as we support this system, we, each of us, are to blame. And the solution is to change the system, to realize life as the value, to realize we can only be in one place at a time, and that we as the human being “form” can only deal with what is here right in front of us, thus what do we need to actually live here, in practical application here? What we all want, as life, is to interact here, with what is here, and in order to do this there are physical needs that must be met, and this does not need a huge home within innumerable cars and “stuff” for one person, and it does not need all the war machines we allow to be developed. The war machines are simply a bully stick in brutal suppression of ourselves as life, here. We punish ourselves as life in allowing this. This makes no sense. It reveals a lack in our sense of ourselves as life. And obviously, we know how to create “order” as we show ourselves this within the fact that a system exists!

So, as always, I look to the whole and then bring this back to self, as this starts with myself, as a human. This system is an accumulation of what I have accepted and allowed.
Within myself, in not allowing myself to be vulnerable, in fearing the voice of opposition to life, here and not speaking up in common sense, I become one and equal to the opposition to life, instead of allowing myself as life to speak. One of the things I have written about is that common sense is considered dirty. And as a child, I felt as though I was considered “dirty”, diseased, the bringer of disease. This was simply my parents wanting me to survive within the present system, being inferior to life, being in fear of survival, beating what was needed to survive through humiliation and denigration, which I accepted and allowed, as being a child, there really, as far as I could see within wanting to survive myself, no other place to go. In all common sense, one person cannot change this system, it takes many, just as the armies created to abuse life are composed of many men. And this is even turned into stories by Hollywood of one man being the salvation within some “created” conflict. This in the face of the fact that many many many men covered the beaches of Normandy. I mean really! Time to let go of an illusionary dream of being that movie star-super hero energetic orgasm, it is a sold carrot on a string, and within that carrot is a hook pulling you out of the water of life, taking you from yourself as your self as life. It is a marzipan carrot, it is not real, it is poison.

The solution is a system of equality, realizing the value is life and creating a system that allows all life to be and become , equal and one to and as life, here.

Day 117 Jury duty of soldier duty? My annoyance character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of annoyance because I have jury duty starting today.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have conversations in and as my mind about people and what I will face in having jury duty.

I forgive myself for not wanting to have jury duty because I had jury duty in the last ten years and it was not pleasant having to listen to all the things people do to one another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to look at what people do to one another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be annoyed that I have to drive, 45 minutes away in the summer where I am that is filled with summer vacationers so the drive is going to take even longer.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to face the slippery snake of the mind in others going from the personal to the collective, utilizing the personal or the collective singularities when it works for the individual in self interest not realizing that the personal, as the individual, as the self, is actually one and the same as the collective, thus moving from one to the other is a relationship in separation from what is best for all, and only using a part to support and justify not having to look at the totality of what has been accepted and allowed within a system of inequality.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this annoyance character is my self in righteous anger and thus my self in fear, which is my self not wanting to stand up and thus myself wanting to blame instead of directing myself within and as what is best for all, as what is eternal, as what seems bottomless is in fact support of life, is what is constant, is what allow breath, is what is real and expressing and being, is what is absolutely directive and considerate, thus anger is a label of fear within and as myself being superior and believing others inferior, as others are themselves in fear, or rather in-fear- ior to what is best for all, to life, to themselves as life, which is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this character of annoyance is myself in and as a belief of my own individuality as in in -divid-duality where I am either the “personal” or the “collective” and not in consideration that the personal and the collective are one and the same, where the collective is seen as the laws and the individual is seen as needing to caretake of its emotions and feelings as being hurt or ignored, when the real ignorance is not realizing that the emotions and the feelings as the response as the thought, are reactive and protection defense mechanisms to maintain the ignoring of what is self as life, as self as what is best for all as a realization that the very system keeping to two seemingly divided, and thus a system in and as division, as a system of inequality that does not support life but maintains fear, is the very structure allowed and accepted on this earth that does not value the gift of life as what is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that these accepted mirages of division are small and that the eternal is huge and able to support all these accepted and allowed divisions of perception, a perception that, as the back chat of my mind has just replied as … “ we do not know” and or “ I am doing my best” and or “ I can’t do anything about that” - as they switch from the collective to the personal, a slippery snake of no self responsibility to and towards life into and as non-looking behaviors.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the object and to not simply stop and breath, to not allow myself to go into righteous anger as this is the same action and not myself in self honesty as the people saying this are me in another life, which is not to accept this behavior but to answer within and as breath in the moment, thus if I have a reaction in and as my self in and as the rising of my character of annoyance I stop and I breath and I realize I, as myself, am going into fear and reaction within fear as wanting to blame and to spite and to label this person as an object of  ignorance, which in a sense they are, but it is the being of self within this character as focus as being, this allowance as an action that is in separation from looking at the whole at what is here, as realizing the collective and the personal as they exist are walls around a system and an individual as a survival suit of protection and defense within a system of inequality that does not support life, where the tool as the mind has been turned into and as a soldier for the system and not the being of the person as what is here, in and as the expression of themselves as life, no common sense of the totality of self as being one and equal to life, the value, and thus this being of self turns the human physical body into a battery for this protection/defense character, meaning care actor for a system of inequality, where the human physical body grows old and dysfunctional as it can no longer support the walls of defense as the wall of not looking at what is the real value, which is life.

I commit myself to breathing.

I commit myself to remaining in and as breath.

I commit myself to stop the energetic movements in and as myself that are of the annoyance character, to stop myself from separation/dividing myself from life here, from learning to stand as what is best for all without fear.

I commit myself to realizing that I am learning to play myself as an instrument of life, and thus I must first learn to walk and know how my human physical body functions and how the different qualities as the manifestation of substance as sound exist within and as myself as my human physical body, as my gift as my instrument as life, function in specific detail.

I commit myself to breathing and realizing all the characters I have accepted and allowed as my protection/defense mechanisms as what has been taught to create a soldier for a system of inequality and thus separation from life.

I am here

I am breath

I realize that nothing can touch me unless I accept and allow this, as I am life here in and as breath, where breath is myself singing as life in equality and oneness here where I lay down my “arms” as my thoughts, emotions and feelings as the indicators and supporters of ignoring life as the gift as the value, where there can be no real life until all that is here, that is me, is standing in equality and oneness in and as life here.

desteni

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