Thursday, December 26, 2013

Day 487 Self Forgiveness on Thinking. What is thought?

Sometimes I allow myself , when moving through a point to procrastinate. It is that I am allowing the point to be HUGE and it is not.Once moving through a point, there is a sense of “ duh” so I realize that I am making it difficult. I can’t blame anyone but myself.
Today I asked myself. “ why did I need to think?” How could I see if I were thinking when perception is simply looking? How could I take in what was around me if I were thinking? Taking something in, in totality, needs only that focus, and anything distracting from that would diminish that process of taking something in. So, taking something in would need to come from silence, from nothing.
What  relief in a way, to not have to think, to not have to be prepared in some way to take something in. Thus, to really “see” would mean to come from a state of nothing, which means no thinking while looking. Thinking would, from a scientific standpoint, mean there is static within self as the movement of thinking, disrupting what was being taken in.
Note, that this does not mean, especially from where we have allowed ourselves to be, that we do not need to practice looking.
Ironically, we have televisions all around us telling us what to value, what to accept, what to think about. Which means that there is a lot of static around us, to disrupt looking. If we think of ourselves as a substance that would life , then a moment of silence may actually cause a moment of real seeing. In a hierarchy that would not be cool, because it would disrupt this.
But it is us, all of us that is allowing this constant thinking, this constant “ thinging” around us. Is this because we are afraid to see, we are afraid of the silence? And, this silence is how to see because it is nothing/no thing, which means clearing the mind to take in that which is something - as an expression in totality.
I mean, just look at how a piece of music can rapidly change a mood, disperse a hang-up on an emotion and alter the listener’s state. So, an emotion can change. Well, if one became silent in the face of emotion, would this be like starting again, in a moment, to register what is here from nothing, to stabilize in seeing, to clear the emotion,, and as this to correct what caused the emotion, to realize what would start again as a correction to a state of seeing, a state of ease, without the chaos, the static of thinking as holding a belief as an emotion? Is this not the way to correct an emotion to forgive that emotion back to ease, which is back to participation within self direction and self honesty with the life around us?
Any of us can realize that we cannot participate in our day, when we are hung up on an emotion. or over excited, such always leads to “ missed moments” and we regret that we were being so emotional. This especially happens within relationships. We later regret what was said and done and realize that we were selfish with our emotions and did not slow down and take the time to equalize in understanding with the other, and solve what was causing the conflict.
Our media uses this to distract from what is happening with political decisions, as we are all caught up in some soap opera of judgements, the workings of self interest are moving behind this curtain of emotional drama. So, those workings in self interest can say to all of us, we hid nothing, it was right here in plain day, in plain sight - lol and we were all in drama sight/emotional judgement sight - a thin veil really, so we cannot blame the system. As within so without. We cannot ask the system to change, because it is us. The many that can somewhat read, must change this, which means anyone on the internet. 
Thus, in so many ways, what desteni is saying we all know. We are just being that person within that storm of emotion, not having gotten to the other side, slowing ourselves down, to equalize in understanding to bring ourselves out of the static and correct to understanding where the discord stops and the ease within the communication within the relationship returns, the silence, where two people ( in this example) feel at ease with one another. And that is probably the most fun one can have, that ease with another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take thinking seriously.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to thinking within, and without seriously, as in believing that what another thinks defines me, or is the end all be all of what I am or what is real as what is here as life as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I think I am creating something, thus I forgive what I think as defining me until I can slow myself down to the point where I am ease within and as myself within becoming silent as in having no thought, as this is myself here, able to take in without expectation, without judgement, without fear and as such this is myself able to take in what is here in totality as thinking would limit my perception to accept what is here in totality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that taking in the words of someone, accepting the words of others where such words cause a movement within and as me, as thought would mean that correction has not been reached as in understanding to the point of being at ease, thus within this, to not allow another to speak or answer, to discuss and resolve is a crime against life, a from of bullying in self interest.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to with every breath, to slow myself down and look without thought to see what is here in totality, to thus not react to what comes to me in the form of value judgement - as in comparison, fear of loss, desire for gain - as such within and as me, is not myself able to see in totality from a point of silence , from which I can only make a decision about what is best for all, because I must slow down and look, sense what is here in order to be able to direct myself within respect for all life, for all that is here as including the physical world as being as much life as what we humans have been lead to believe, accepted, as the mind, an alternate reality as being more than the physical, and within this to realize that what is the truth is hidden right in front of us,  thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become silent within and as me, as a state of ease, to realize that all things here must be sensed when directing myself here, which is to begin from a starting point of respect for everything that is here as me as life, because it is everything that is that one something that allows me to be an expression as life, here, thus it is for me to silence myself as nothing to see everything and to respect all that enables me to be here as something.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think. 
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something outside of me has caused me to have lost something, when all I need do, is silence myself and breath and accept all things, including the physical, to bring myself into directing myself within and as what is best for all here, this which would allow a state of ease as life, as myself to be, and as such, if created for all one earth would allow life to begin within and as realizing that it is ourselves as being something from nothing that is expression of life which cannot exist as long as the static - so to speak- of judgement exists as thinking, because thinking is being stuck reading a picture as a secondary image taken of here, and cannot be the total sensing of the formation of life as the physical which must be done in every moment from silence, as such we cannot fathom because we are all so caught up with the something as the clutter as mind and so addicted to this, as ourselves fearing to simply not fear loss. 
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can lose something. 
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I am an emotion as a fear of loss, I am not one and equal to myself at ease, in silence, myself being here and as such equal to everything, which includes the actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i need to think.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thought must be in accord with what is best for all, for the silence and ease of myself as life to exist, here, as this is myself from nothing to something as everything, of which I can only be as, as the part that i am here as existence for which I am thankful for all the other parts, as without the other parts that are me as life here, I would not be the part as me , here, as the composition of the parts create the whole, and as this, this is the real roller coaster - so to speak - as the joy of life, which is each part working together as the whole, in equality and oneness here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated myself from life into and as thought here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i have been hurt, mistreated and unloved, as idea within and as me, as this is the same that I have been given, which is idea of more than and less than, this pain as me is myself having accepted judgement, as this is myself having moved as fear of loss, of which I denied myself, myself as life, having not silenced myself as mind, to  move from a point of silence, a point of ease, to accept all things and respect all things and direct myself in consideration of all things to direct myself here in equality and oneness, meaning realizing the physical world is all things too.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject the physical as being less than what is in and as my mind as thought. 
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I was taught as a child, to give as I would like to receive, and as such, when I began to judge the physical I was not in effect giving as I would like to receive because I was rejecting the physical world in all its expression and allowing one thing to be more than another, instead of looking at everything as the physical and realizing that the value was life, where not one physical thing was more than another.

Thus, ‘When and as I  find myself full of thought, and thus in separation from here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that unless as mind I am silent, as in being equal to the starting point of here, I am no longer in sense without judgement.
When and as I find myself believing that I am more than or less than another I see, realize and understand that  I  am not moving here within and as solution as that which is best for all here.
When and as I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I stop and I breath and I walk myself through the belief that what is here is too much, or too difficult to walk through and I see realize and understand that I can only walk one thing at a time, and that allowing the focus of myself onto the knowledge and information only , in and as my mind, I am distracting myself from being in common sense, walking practical steps as how being physical means and does,  and I put myself back on track, through realizing equality and oneness with and as the physical , here.

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