Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Day 528 I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a separation from life. The process of Equality.

I was walking my dog, and I walked past the home of someone who held an annual party. About a block after I passed the house, there I was. It was like I placed myself in a projection play-out as a fantasy. I was not even aware of the physical world around me, because I was so busy up there in my mind, conscious only of the characters in the projection. I was in the past at that annual party.
I breathed and came back down to earth. It gets so, that this is very tangible. It has a thickness to it, a slurpy thickness. So, I catch myself doing this, and it involves believing that I am defined through validation, through interaction with other characters as people.

Even within writing this blog, it is like a self validation, in putting myself out here on the net, to explain what I have accepted and allowed as consciousness, my own personal collection of qualities that i “ own” to define myself, and maintain to participate in a system so caught up in limited measure there is a separation from the physical world, which is the real life, or one could say, as much life as the limitations used to own a self definition as a belief that such is needed to survive and motivate, when none of this projection is necessary, because what is real is being here. One is or one is not, and as the “ not being” one is the being as well. 
If my attention is on a singular quality, and I practice this in a game of play-out as fantasy as consciousness, then I cannot be here , equal to the physical reality, and all of its qualities. And I do not learn the process of transformation, because I am too busy in an industry of quality gain as a self definition of character. I am too busy monitoring my gains, and reviewing them with past experiences, and thus I become a limitation, and place myself on a treadmill that I have to run on to maintain what is essentially a bully of my own personal qualities to define myself and force others to accept.

If I become too “ original” than I lose a connection, if I do not fit into a limited self definition, then other become uncomfortable because they have a hard time placing me in a box, because in this limited quality definition as character,  as a game plan, other characters want to define each, in order to have that projection working. Thus, any judgement of me by another, really tells me more about them than it can about myself, and conversely, judgements by others, where I react in any way, tells me about myself. In this game of energy, one cannot even suppress a reaction, because the very substance of energy, is thicker than water, like to say, oil and vinegar do not mix, you can shake it up, but still they don’t mix. There is no way out. To appear to mix, an agitation is necessary, and agitation has a vibration to it, which means a movement, which is visible, and to ask myself a question here, the focus of  self validation and as such gain, cannot hide from silence. It is like silence hears everything. A seeming contradiction for one busy in a projection as consciousness.
So, when I am projecting I have to come back to the starting point of silence and listen to equalize myself to what is here as the physical to listen and then direct myself as this is how I hear what is here, and enable myself to consider all that sustains this moment in time as myself in expression as life.

So, when I move myself into consciousness, that is a story of my past, in a system of survival, using limited qualities and ignoring all of this physical creation, I must stop and breath and slow myself down, to learn to address myself as life, in order to move here, in ways that do no harm.

Nothing can define me but what i accept and allow. And I am here, even when I am not here. lol

When I go into projection, it is like an intensification, and a funnel into that projection, one moves up into this, like one is filing a bubble. And that bubble is filled with pictures, streaming through the eyes. And the lining of the tube, is like a staff of keys that are the triggers that when sound moves through them, ignites the construct of the key, and the keys are built of the past, and so the past sings - so to speak- and the game begins, the comparison, the self justification as self using pictures to define and maintain what self is. All of this built from a system that has become the manifestation of this construct as consciousness. Well, helium balloons get to a certain height and then they pop, and all the gas is released and sent back into the substance of what is here. So one eventually comes back to earth, back to the physical. 

Within facing what has been going on in my heart, I realize that when I become what we would call “ nervous” I am not here, I am not facing he separation from self, I am not directing what is the capacity of men, the natural learning ability of men, to be aware here, to see directly here, to consider how this physical world is a construct of creation, all of it, and that as we stand in this moment, has a construct on top it, that is a consciousness, a science of a collection of limited qualities, or values, used to define a human, in an order of survival that is the outward manifestation of an inner self definition accepted in separation from self as a physical manifestation which is what one can use as a starting point of form and function, as expression, in tandem with all manifestation to understand how creation works, thus each part needs the other parts in cross reference to give direction, one does not need to direct from the idea alone, one moves with the physical, like flocks of birds do at times. It is the joy of being aware in full sensory motor skill that the physical allows that directs in real creation, as it is here that one can be aware. The two happen at the same time.
In this one gives up all belief, to gain everything, thus nothing is really lost in giving up the mind consciousness system. That doom and gloom feeling in change, is simply giving up a limitation, and the habit of that limitation, appears to be a death, when it really is like a birth.

So, when ever I find myself in a projection that uses the past, as a conscious self definition, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I return myself here, equal and one with the physical world, and I take that which is good and does no harm and I stand equal and one with the physical to see, realize and understand myself as a physical human on a physical planet and as such I respect the life that is here that is me, and I realize that a system of separation has been accepted and allowed and constructed in the image and likeness of my own accepted limitations, that must come back to the realization of itself in total as life, here and as such align itself/ myself equal and one with the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compete within and as a story in and as my mind, in and as a projection as an interplay of limited qualities/values where I measure in very limited reference as ideas thereby separating myself from the joy of simply being here as this competence is a cognition of limited means, creating externalities that experience extremes of lack either though physical discomfort, or physical comforts that become a burden believed to be a gain, that in itself is ownership that ends up costing the life to focus on protection and defense of what cannot be taken in death.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am defined within a limited measure of myself, and as such am not allowed to be and have a certain measure of common sense of the whole as I must limit myself to allow others to feel comfort in pegging me into a limitation to enable a self definition, which is respecting a limitation, and as such is a disrespect of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I an not allowed to express beyond the limitations of what i am based on limited criteria as a self definition being owned by others, which by some invisible ideological belief is supposed to be adhered to, when this is a limited projection as a self definition and as such a disrespect of life that must come to an end.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that because I do not look a certain way, I cannot smile and be joyful as this is only allowed within a narrow construct where women that fit within a very narrow idea of beauty are allowed to smile and place themselves within this behavior to flirt with the ego of men who themselves are in a very narrow self definition of themselves as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that there is no way out, and within this to see, realize and understand that there are those who react to a person standing outside of proscribed accepted norms that in themselves are limitations that have nothing to do with being life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to conversely, use knowledge and information of a limited value system, and the memories of my past, to be a directive here, when all of this is a limitation that is not self transcending into awareness, but a self that is existing within a projection as consciousness self constructed, self accepted, self allowed, and as such a separation from that what one seeks, which is self as life, that can only exist in equality and oneness to and as the physical being life, which is simply to accept all that is, as all that is is life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to measure myself based on limited values only, and as this be caught in a energetic web of organization which is using the capacity of myself as a playful “ worker” as a physical being-ness, within a very limited construct that consumes and devours the very substance that is me as life where I turn as colorless as a wick and die having taken the substance of life, the color of life, and burned this in and as a projection in and as consciousness instead of becoming aware, and as such one and equal to and as the physical world, to address myself equal and one with and as creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot be transparent here, equal and one to and in common sense of the physical, using auditory gifts visual gifts , kinesthetic gifts as the physical to own the value being life here, where i stand equal and one with all life, realizing that the physical is life, as all that is, is creation and as such to be respected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am here and that it is here that allows me to exist as life, and to interact with all that is life in formation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that life has passed me by, and as such I do not have the opportunity to be life here, and also to believe that i don’t deserve life, when in effect this is more of the same that lead to separation from the physical as life, as punishment and reward are based on values judgements and not the measure of the means to equalize self to and as life here, as this is the only thing that humans can own that can withstand the test of time, and remain constant, and as such realize what is eternal, which is the expression of life, which is creation, and as such to be enjoyed by all, and as such the cross reference gift that stabilizes self as life.

When and as I find myself existing within a projection I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I realize what i fear losing, as what I am pushing away as a value, creating a good and a bad, a more than and a less than, a belief in superiority and inferiority, and I bring this back to self, and I realize what I fear losing as what I have allowed as a self definition, and as such a rejection of life, and I realize the expression of myself as life that i have rejected, that I fear may mean a loss within a system that is a loss of life, as I see realize and understand that this loss is an illusion.

When and as i find myself fearing competition, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize that it is to include all that is, and to transform what is essentially a fear of loss, into a way and means that accepts all externalities as an ambition that is ambiguous to what allows the innate capacity of life to diverge equal and one to the physical, and to see, realize and understand this in accord of a direct seeing of what is same in all creation, which is life, as this is the value and that as this, one can cross reference with respect to all life, which includes the physical, to become self directive, self responsible, and to realize that because this is not how men have existed in earth, and for which earth has been created, to realize that this equalization to life, will tale a process, and that a mis-take is a gift of myself as life to balance myself here, equal and one to become equal and one with the sound of life, as that of a functional purpose of what supports life in-formation as this is the gift of creation.

When and as I find myself existing within and as a projection as mind consciousness, I see, realize and understand that this is a righteousness, that is an anger, that is a bullying, that is a fear of loss, that is a limited value believed to define me, and I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I forgive this narrow focus, and I bring myself back here, and I let this emotional/feeling energy go, and I see the thought and forgive it, and I look to the objection of it, as it manifests in a judgement, as a protection and defense usurious action, movement within, as I see, realize and understand that the solution is allways, always, equality and oneness to and as life, here, within and as the principle of what is best for all, which is what does no harm, and gives the gift that keeps on giving, enabling self directive capacity and self responsibility, to here.

The process of deconstruction, to bring the pieces of self back together in equality and oneness to and as life, here. DIP Lite. FREE

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