Monday, March 31, 2014

DAY 529 The drama of ego upon structure.

I had a talk with my son today and he said that he learned to remain calm and follow the structure of a process and in so doing he ended up being an exemplar in his responsibility. What he noticed was the ego game going on around him, the others making things into big issues and competing to be important. In the end my son realized that drama so-to-speak going on around him and how unnecessary it was. In all, I have to say that that “ drama” is a form of entertainment also.

The conversation started because I had talked about how I had realized this within the music profession. The same ego dramas happen. Clicks start with a peer group, and the combat begins. But what I noticed, even when I fell within this, that the one’s participating within the competition and need for recognition, did not have the capacity to remain consistent in their playing, and within myself, remaining within the structure of the music foremost, I moved up to the front, and began to remain there consistently.

Still, I find myself allowing uncertainty when the competition comes in with spite and off putting accusation of blame etc. If someone feels that another is a threat, they attack with little measures of things. But then again, ego is a little measure of things. lol

In all, this is about how I continue to react to competition that attacks, even when I have faced objections and walked them into a structure that calms the reaction. 

Now I have to go and face some people, walk with them for a moment. I find myself having some dread, but I realize that this is a lack of structure, I am looking at myself becoming inferior to here, as it is here that I am the director of my own executive function  and that I can move myself as a working memory if I have scripted the simplicity of what I am about in regards to the principle of what is best for all.

 It reminds me of seeing a man who turned into a demon, where the demon part was the emotional storm, and that storm seemed of no substance, so I realized that this man could have no effect on me unless I allowed it, and that behind that projection was that man, who was kind, and gentle, confused and lost. So, when I talk with others, I know this is there, because this is the nature of life, this is an innate desire to participate with the total fabric of this actual physical world that is the structure of life that enables the expression of life, and that it is the awareness of how we are also physical beings and not only a mind that imprints an understanding of physical reality  and that it is this function through which we are controlled and that ends up creating a projection instead of the equality to here, with ease, that is that which we seek. Thus, do I face the storm, to reach the joy, through walking the objections to here, using the principle of what is best for all as my constant, as this is the real “ angle mark” ( Spelling on purpose) Because, it is a mechanistic uni-verse of life expression that is a measure that the very substance that enables up to learn to crawl and walk and eventually talk,  that builds an executive function that is of a working memory that is equal to here in measure and precision and that that which builds is that which must remain in awareness to perpetually cross reference with that which enables awareness, which is the physical world.

It is interesting, because within the eyes of people one can see the fog, a layer of cloudiness and also the whole musculature of the physical in tension. And I suppose I see this because I have had to be aware of it within myself within playing the violin. I also notice that things come up in adults, and that this is not as thick in children. With a child one can reach a clearness at time, greater than with an adult. And all of this helps me to realize that within and as me there is a fog, and it sets me shaking ever so slightly. This is where I allow myself to become inferior to here. I am no longer at ease. And I realize that my lack of ease, is a belief in a constant protection and defense for survival. The irony is that I cannot survive all, because the all that is here as the physical, is how I exist, so if I eliminate others I eliminate myself, thus the only solution is to face the projection, as belief, opinion and idea, the sins of the fathers as the key board of DNA where such has been passed on because it has not been cleared by the collective of men on earth, it has not been equalized to that which enables life, which is the physical. It is as though we men, have been given the gift of creation and we have abdicated that gift because we held the object more precious that the formation allowing the act of creation as being the real value. Our real museum is the physical world around us, where we are the muses, creating life in expression as the physical.

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