I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of annoyance because I have jury duty starting today.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have conversations in and as my mind about people and what I will face in having jury duty.
I forgive myself for not wanting to have jury duty because I had jury duty in the last ten years and it was not pleasant having to listen to all the things people do to one another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to look at what people do to one another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be annoyed that I have to drive, 45 minutes away in the summer where I am that is filled with summer vacationers so the drive is going to take even longer.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to face the slippery snake of the mind in others going from the personal to the collective, utilizing the personal or the collective singularities when it works for the individual in self interest not realizing that the personal, as the individual, as the self, is actually one and the same as the collective, thus moving from one to the other is a relationship in separation from what is best for all, and only using a part to support and justify not having to look at the totality of what has been accepted and allowed within a system of inequality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this annoyance character is my self in righteous anger and thus my self in fear, which is my self not wanting to stand up and thus myself wanting to blame instead of directing myself within and as what is best for all, as what is eternal, as what seems bottomless is in fact support of life, is what is constant, is what allow breath, is what is real and expressing and being, is what is absolutely directive and considerate, thus anger is a label of fear within and as myself being superior and believing others inferior, as others are themselves in fear, or rather in-fear- ior to what is best for all, to life, to themselves as life, which is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this character of annoyance is myself in and as a belief of my own individuality as in in -divid-duality where I am either the “personal” or the “collective” and not in consideration that the personal and the collective are one and the same, where the collective is seen as the laws and the individual is seen as needing to caretake of its emotions and feelings as being hurt or ignored, when the real ignorance is not realizing that the emotions and the feelings as the response as the thought, are reactive and protection defense mechanisms to maintain the ignoring of what is self as life, as self as what is best for all as a realization that the very system keeping to two seemingly divided, and thus a system in and as division, as a system of inequality that does not support life but maintains fear, is the very structure allowed and accepted on this earth that does not value the gift of life as what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that these accepted mirages of division are small and that the eternal is huge and able to support all these accepted and allowed divisions of perception, a perception that, as the back chat of my mind has just replied as … “ we do not know” and or “ I am doing my best” and or “ I can’t do anything about that” - as they switch from the collective to the personal, a slippery snake of no self responsibility to and towards life into and as non-looking behaviors.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the object and to not simply stop and breath, to not allow myself to go into righteous anger as this is the same action and not myself in self honesty as the people saying this are me in another life, which is not to accept this behavior but to answer within and as breath in the moment, thus if I have a reaction in and as my self in and as the rising of my character of annoyance I stop and I breath and I realize I, as myself, am going into fear and reaction within fear as wanting to blame and to spite and to label this person as an object of ignorance, which in a sense they are, but it is the being of self within this character as focus as being, this allowance as an action that is in separation from looking at the whole at what is here, as realizing the collective and the personal as they exist are walls around a system and an individual as a survival suit of protection and defense within a system of inequality that does not support life, where the tool as the mind has been turned into and as a soldier for the system and not the being of the person as what is here, in and as the expression of themselves as life, no common sense of the totality of self as being one and equal to life, the value, and thus this being of self turns the human physical body into a battery for this protection/defense character, meaning care actor for a system of inequality, where the human physical body grows old and dysfunctional as it can no longer support the walls of defense as the wall of not looking at what is the real value, which is life.
I commit myself to breathing.
I commit myself to remaining in and as breath.
I commit myself to stop the energetic movements in and as myself that are of the annoyance character, to stop myself from separation/dividing myself from life here, from learning to stand as what is best for all without fear.
I commit myself to realizing that I am learning to play myself as an instrument of life, and thus I must first learn to walk and know how my human physical body functions and how the different qualities as the manifestation of substance as sound exist within and as myself as my human physical body, as my gift as my instrument as life, function in specific detail.
I commit myself to breathing and realizing all the characters I have accepted and allowed as my protection/defense mechanisms as what has been taught to create a soldier for a system of inequality and thus separation from life.
I am here
I am breath
I realize that nothing can touch me unless I accept and allow this, as I am life here in and as breath, where breath is myself singing as life in equality and oneness here where I lay down my “arms” as my thoughts, emotions and feelings as the indicators and supporters of ignoring life as the gift as the value, where there can be no real life until all that is here, that is me, is standing in equality and oneness in and as life here.
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