Day 5

Day 5

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear what my neighbor might think, and to not stop the self validation conversations in and as my mind, as I remain in the past as I review what transpired within a “neighborly” chat after the interaction occurred, as I believe that I am special in having a conversation with a neighbor, catching my self existing as this, as this is the mind, an infinite design that spins in support of itself through judgement consciously of superiority which is self hiding the polar opposite as a personality created within a system of survival where what is constantly measured is what others will think and thus determine how the being as mind will be judged and thus be accepted in order to survive, where the thoughts of self aggrandizement are hiding  a self created persona of inferiority accepted and allowed by  my self and created through childhood by parents and society that exists in the image and likeness of separation into and as the personification of competition and survival, where self never learned to direct self as life, as self feared self as life,  for which I am responsible as I accepted and allowed this and thus I am the creator of my own self separations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that until I as self as life stand equal and one to life, stand as my self as a directive as life within and as the principle of what is best for all, and develop with a group and voice in and as a collective big enough to stand up within this present system of profit before life, that which is eternal as life will not be the self as my self standing equal and one with this that is eternal, and thus will I not realize my self as life, as I have not stood with and as life, as that which is eternal, not realizing that this is in fact quiet simple, if I cannot stand one and equal with that which is me, life, then I simply do not become life; If i do not jump in the river then I will not get wet, I will not swim, I will not taste the water, I will not become the water of life, the stream of life, I will remain a vaporous projection as what I have become, standing as a reflection on the side, thinking I am real, when what is real is that river.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not have enjoyed this neighbor in the moment been as clear as I am able and then to have gone onto the next moment in and as breath, utilizing breath to remain here, in this moment with what is physically here, instead of/ and afterwards not catching my self going into my mind and continuing the support of the mind through the re-enactment of my past to validate what I have accepted and allowed my self to exist as, as an illusion in self validation in and as belief, thereby separating myself into a mere reflection separate from life, that substance that is here in every moment handing to me, with great ease, my self as life, able to become one and equal to life and thus becoming eternal in and as what is eternal that is what is this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that whenever I exist in and as my mind I am separate from here, and thus separate from what is real, and thus not practicing the self as my self as life, and within this ignoring what is actually here, that is life, so do I abdicate my self as life, and thus I abdicate ease, and create my own dis-ease!

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not remain in and as breath in every moment and diligently realize the back chat in and as my mind and also look to the mirror image as what is in my mind and forgive the thought, and forgive the emotion and feeling and desire behind the thought and realize how this separation causes consequences on this earth that do not support all life equally as my separations effect the allowance and acceptance of life for all that is of this earth, the plants , the animals and the humans, my self included.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that my self as mind has become habitual and thus it will take absolute dedication and will to monitor how I have existed as mind.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear that I do not know how to be social and thus when I interact with others I tend to replay the interaction to pat my self on the back, or to support my self against my own accepted and allowed insecurities developed and built into a persona based on the very personalities of parents and friends and society and culture that existed in and as separation from life as life was feared and self abdicated self as life  to be directed by beliefs and opinions and ideas based on collected past traditions that had become what was believed to be supportive and individual and special, when within this the essence of what was the foundation of all of this was life, the very substance as life and therefor holding onto the past as self definition was self  in separation from life/here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I need validation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  not catch my self as existing as a personality in and as , within this instance, being inadequate in communicating with people and fearing being judged as unacceptable to walk with.

I commit my self to remaining in and as breath in every moment and stopping my self from going into my mind and replaying past events to fix/validate/confirm an image I have of my self and within this realize that I am existing as a belief that I am lacking, which is self not accepting self as life, this is self competing with what is here and supporting self through interactions with others instead of being a directive principle as self in every moment where I as self as life am a living word as what is best for all within the principle of oneness and equality.

I commit my self to stopping my own accepted and allowed separations into and as mind, as energy and I stop and I breath and bring my self back to my self as life and I direct my self within the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all is best for self here.

I commit my self to realizing in every moment in every breath what separations from self as life i have accepted and allowed, and I stop the behaviors through breathing and directing my self within what is best for all, when I talk with others socially I breath and speak without expectation or the seeking of opportunity I simply breath and direct my self within simply being without desire , want and need.

I commit my self to stopping separation into and as reviewing past events within and as mind to validate my self, and realize that my mind shows me where I have separated from my self here, and thus this imagery as mind is not to validate but to show me how I have separated from my self into and as self validation in and as mind where I am actually hiding my own insecurities and fears.

I commit my self to realizing that the mind is ego, energy-go, where I exist as a polarity of insecurity and superiority in separation of my self being a directive principle as my self as life, one and equal to all that exists on this earth, and thus I stop and I breath and I forgive the mind, the fear and I take it all back to my self and I direct my self as what is best for all to correct what I have accepted and allowed as fear of my self in wanting an idea of self to exist instead of being and accepting my self as life, that which is one and equal to all that is of existence on this earth.