Sunday, April 15, 2012

Day 1

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that all there is is family.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my self to believe that the only concern I have is my family.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to care for my family as being my only responsibility, where I do not take the time to consider how this world exists, how this monetary system exists and how the way I live effects all life on this planet.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to consider the billions of people on this planet who do not have access to clean water, access to proper shelter, access to self development.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that it is the poor in this world that live in horrific conditions so that I may have tin for my iphone and my laptop.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that all war is about profit and resource acquisition, where the only allowed design on this earth has been to take without consideration of all that is of this earth, where this earth actually provides unconditionally with enough to allow all to exist in such a way that all that is here can exist in a state of self developed and self perfection, even down to the smallest microorganism.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that when I send my sons off to war I am supporting a system of inequality as war is a great generator of profits in a system of inequality, a system that values a piece of paper as money more than the real value that is here, the value of life.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become the personality of a woman as a mother, where I believe my self to be a good caretaker because I take good care of my children, not realizing that I abuse other children when I go into major brand chain store and by cheap toys made by mothers working in slave labor conditions for hours on end and thus do not have the opportunity to even spend time with children of their own.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to carry on the sins of the fathers as I place my children in front of the television where they learn behaviors to support a system of inequality, such as boys imitating being soldiers, and girls imitating the personification of a doll, all the development of limited, stagnant personality development.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am locked into a monetary system that keeps the average family in debt with just enough money to pay the bills but never enough to pay for private lessons that develop the ability of children to master their human physical bodies on many levels where children learn to master the very control of themselves and their bodies.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that it is normal for my children to get sick.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that it is normal for my children to have cavities.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to stop and wonder why there is disease of any kind in children
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to stop and research the effects of sugar on the human physical body.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and ask my self why our supermarkets are filled with products that are known to not support the human physical body.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that many people in this country spend more money on health care than on food each month, when in fact more should be spent on food.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize how much I am a product of this system of inequality if I look to my own thoughts that are of worry about paying the mortgage and fixing the car, that in fact most of the very being of my self here is of worry about money.

When and as I look to my thoughts I realize that I spend most of my life worrying about money, as I do this I stop, I forgive these thoughts and I breath, and I begin to research the system of money on this earth to understand how it works and the effects of this current system on this earth, I step outside of the conditioning from my society , my culture, the voices of politicians and I research not only what is here and the effects of money on all of society but I take another step and ask another question such as what is the solution, here I stop all that is of the mind, realizing that all the thoughts in and as my self have been what I have learned from childhood, a childhood within a system of inequality, where in and as this system what would have been taught would be what perpetuates and supports this system of inequality so that I never stop and breath and ask questions- as I have been taught to never talk about money, not realizing that this very "taboo" actually indicates a "red flag" that stops me from really investigating how money is made and how money works within this system, so that the truth is hidden, and thus the truth is swept under the rug through social beliefs, where I am never able to realize that everyone is more than likely worrying about money and indoctrinated to believe money is not something talked about.

I realize that the only way to stop the worry about money to to research and understand, and to talk and to share and to find solutions, even if they are against all the words that have been presented to me about how money works, where if I look closely I will begin to realize that something about this system does not make any sense, and that  it is my responsibility to find the missing parts as to why there exists a system that actually makes no sense and has many people secretly worrying about money for most of their lives.

When I find my self worrying about money I stop and I breath, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to worry about money, as this being of and as my self as worry is nothing other than "the being of my self as worry" and in fact, this is not a solution, this is a singular "persona" in and as my self being worry and not an act that corrects the worry or the cause, the object of worry.

When and as I find my self being a persona in and as worry, I stop and I breath, and I take directive steps that practically support solutions to stop this being of my self in and as worry about money as this is not my self really being here in and as life.

I am life
I am here
I am able to bring my self back to here in and as breath.
I am able to research.
I am able to find ways to manage my money and to stand up and change this system that creates a burden of worry about money, so that I am not being "so busy worrying about money" I never live.
Yet, I am here, I am life.
I realize that a system of inequality is not life, as it does not support what it is here that is the value, and that if life.

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