Day 4

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear being my self here, to fear standing up as myself here, where this physical world is what is real, to walk away from all the things said by family and friends, the dramas and the beliefs as to what I should be and exist as.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the emotions and feelings that exist as the stories of this world are what is believed to be real, where the stories that are of this world are of fear in a desire to be safe and supported as the being within and as a human physical body here on this earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to remain in fear, in and as fearing death and loss of my self as life here on this earth, where the very structure of this world is one of survival where the expression of men is of worry and struggle and survival as what this earth exists as is fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that this existence here on this earth is of fear, that there is no other way to exist here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to  fear to stand up and change, to become the walking voice and direction of my self as what is best for all, through all ridicule, through spite, through the anger and fear of people who exist in and as their minds knowing nothing else, sensing something is askew, yet not knowing where or how to figure out what it is about this existence that is somehow a mess, where life is never lived as all exist in fear for the future, where the past is used to give direction, a past that has no answer.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the mind has no answers and is only a reflection of the separation of self from self as life, where life as self is the realization that all that is of this earth is of the same substance, thus all that is here is all as one as equal.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize this physical world in every breath in every moment as this very earth is me and I am it as all that is here is equal in substance and the very substance in and as this earth is what unconditionally supports my self as life, even if this self as my self as life is separated into and as singular thoughts, emotions and feelings that are lacking awareness in common sense physically of this physical world, where as the human ages all sense of this physical  world diminishes over time until a death that is not of transcendence is met, where man  has the capacity to meet this transformation in full awareness, yet instead dies having never lived as all that was lived was a life of imagery in and as the mind, the very fears that were an abdication of self responsibility as life, equal and one with this physical world, as this physical world is life, the gift to birth life into and as awareness of what is the substance that is the source of this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that I as self am this physical world, one and equal, yet I have chosen to exist here in and as mind only, where I worry about money, escape into sex, think about the future and long for the past instead of being here, in every moment in and as breath, equal and one with this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to resist forgiving my self as mind, as this is all that I have known as this was what was taught to me by the very system allowed and accepted in and as this physical world that is a system of more than and less than, a system of profit, where few have access to an education, a limited education at that as the physical is only described in and as theory, where the actual physical is never learned to exist one and equal as self and all that is lived is imagery in and as the mind.

I forgive myself or allowing and accepting my self to fear leaving the mind, as I know not what it means to exist equal and one with and as the physical, my human physical body, this non knowing of my human physical body so evident in all the disease that exists in and as this world , where cancer is rampant and all that is presented is the suggestion that a cure is right around the corner yet the cure, promised in the beginning of the 20th century has not appeared within mainstream allopathic medicine, and instead of investigating why this is so, I spend my time hoping and praying that I never get cancer, where I do not realize after all this time, all these decades that hoping and praying obviously have not solved the problem of cancer on this earth, neither have the promises of new technology or science managed to solve this disease, where if I investigated I might just find that a cure would mean a best practice and what is best for all, and this would not produce a steady stream of income for the few at the top of the pyramid that is this system of inequality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel it is too much to stand and speak up, not realizing that I must stand with a group, with a large group of at least one third of the voting people to make a change to bring a change and that the message of a system of equal money is the only choice to eliminate a system that by its nature as profit would not want a system where best practices where what was used to support this world as this would mean all life could be supported and thus worry and fear could be cleaned up and understood so that a system of abuse to plants and animals would no longer exist and heaven on earth would be realized as what is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to resist leaving the habitual resonance in and as the mind as this is all I have ever known and has become my security blanket, where I believe , as I work at my job, that someone else will have to stand up because it is not my responsibility, I am “doing my best” and “ I am too busy” thus I am doing my share as I deny what atrocities exist in and as this world, while i use the resources of this earth that are given unconditionally to support my self here, these resources that I have no idea as to where they came from or why they exist as I am only moving in and as image, as pictures of desire want and need in and as my mind, not seeing that these images are in the likeness of what is plastered all over this earth via advertising and media.

All this must stop, as I look to my past, to my childhood and realize that all I have learned is to support a system of inequality to support a hierarchy of more than and less than as this is what was taught to the generations that came before me, as nothing else has been lived on this earth despite the words spoken and preached as the means to create a heaven on earth are not applied, the golden rule, to give as you would like to receive, the image and likeness of this earth which gives unconditionally, as the earth has etched no persons name onto the resources that are here, it is only men who have created a system where the collective of men accept symbols on a page as having significance that one person can own the resources of this earth, an act contrary to the very nature of this physical earth.

I realize that when I meet resistance, no matter what I must stand and walk though this, move against the voices as beliefs, opinions and ideas that are what has become the voice of me as this is what is broadcast by a system of profit and self interested gain in a game of survival that propagates conflict to divide and conquer through competition to place a name on an unconditionally given resource that is of this earth , I commit my self to stand and forgive what I have accepted and allowed in and as my mind to clear my self of the fear of my self as life to start once again in self directed being in and as the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all, as what is best for self is what is best for all, to do this I must stop the mind and become as nothing, no thing as what this earth presents as being real.

I commit my self as no longer allowing and accepting the mind as what and who I am, I stop and I breath and I write out what has been the directive as a bi polar mind of self separation, as self abdication of life to begin to birth my self in and as this physical world, one and equal to this physical world, I take in what I have made separate from me to become self honesty and thus self trust as what is best for all is best for self.