Day 6 Guilt

Day 6

I have hung on to events from my past, blaming my self for the actions of others, feeling guilty that I had existed in and as the role of a woman obligated to her man within the role of a woman within the societal norms of accepted behavior. Guilt at having participated within a relationship in fear of not having enough money to sustain my existence, wanting to escape the responsibility I had been carrying alone through the accepted and allowed behavioral relationships between men and woman, which practically speaking makes sense but allowing my self as my self to put up with unacceptable behaviors, and then blaming my self for perhaps having not said things clearly enough when plenty of opportunity was given to clear up the situation and as the norms of the role of a woman supporting a man, the only clarity is within the ego in and as the man.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have felt obligated to perform as the woman supporting the man.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have taken my time to stand up and realize that I was in a relationship of obligation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have been patient and within this gone into hope that things would change when the starting point had been within the role of being a woman as an object in service to a man, where from the beginning the coming together was based on want desire and need for sex and companionship instead of an agreement of support for one another based on the principle of what is best for all is best for self and unless made clear and understood and walked for an extended period of time within this understanding, a relationship of obligation will create friction and discord as there is not self honesty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to  not realize that my guilt is really my self aware of my own self dishonest starting point of wanting sex and companion ship in fear of being alone.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be self dishonest and accept unacceptable behaviors, and to not walk away immediately.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to, in seeking or allowing my self to exist in such a scenario, to realize that I fear being my self, I fear taking self responsibility for and as my self , and standing as my self here, being self directed, facing what is here as this physical world and standing up as my self here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe myself to be incapable of standing up as my self here and not listening to the voices of family and society.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to take it personally when accusations are the reaction - that are based on ego and relationship obligations within an accepted and allowed social role play- and I begin to feel guilty as though I as the woman have done something wrong, not realizing that this is the reaction of an accepted and allowed role, that which I had participated in from a starting point of self dishonesty, and had allowed to go on for too long in and as an feeling of hope, believing as I was as the accepted and allowed role of a woman that I was being good in “hoping”, yet all I was doing was being self dishonest as my starting point had been directed by fear and not as a clearly established understanding of mutual support.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have a desire for success in and as a feeling of hope that what started  from a point of dishonesty would suddenly change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I have done something wrong, where in fact there is nothing wrong, just accepted and allowed beliefs that are not walked through and made clear where self directs self in and as the principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that guilt actually exists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to  have done what was best for the relationship and not what was best for all within the principle of oneness in equality.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that guilt is real.

I forgive my self for not accepting and allowing my self to see that guilt is not real, and that what is physically here in practical common sense is what is real, directed within the principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see, and realize that participating within a relationship as accepting and allowing the role of a man and a woman within the structure of our present society, self honesty cannot exist as in performing the role as the female in relation to a man, the self as life is not considered and what is lived is the ego, the energy go, of the man and the woman and not the self, as the obligation is to an idea in and as a man and a woman and not the self as life, where self is self hONEst.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my guilt is having wanted to be responsible to for something separate from my self here as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel guilty when I believe that there is disappointment towards my behavior in no longer accepting my decision to no longer accept what was unacceptable, not realizing that this guilt is about my own desire to be responsible for something other than my self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel humiliated for my own lack of self honesty from the ‘get go.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be a feeling of guilt.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I stood up in trust of my self, accepting and allowing my own self dishonest starting point.

I commit my self to remaining within breath and releasing guilt, knowing it is of the mind and not my self here in directing self within the principle of what is best for all is best for self.

I commit my self to, when a feeling of guilt comes up, self forgiving the feeling of guilt and standing here in breath, directing  my self here to birth my self into and as the physical.

When I experience a feeling of guilt I breath and stop the allowance of guilt through an understanding that guilt is my self abdicating my self as life and responding in and the mind in separation from my self here.

When and as I experience guilt I stop and I breath and I bring my self back to my self,  and I re-member the principle of oneness and equality as the directive of my self  with each in breath and each out breath, to stand as the directive principle of my self as life  and not as an idea in and as the mind of what I have been directed to be by media and society, knowing that this will lead to zombiehood, as it is based on an idea of happiness and not my self developing my self in being one and equal to this physical world understanding how this physical world in fact functions, to create a world where life is supported where all that is of this earth can become one and equal in self honesty.