Day 9 Emotions and being compassionate as giving attention to emotions in self and others.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to be the giver as in giving my “ear” to listening and sympathizing with emotions.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I am supposed to give as in being compassionate towards emotions.

I forgive my self for allowing ad accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to take the emotions of others

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to take the emotions of others only and not stand in common sense and realize that emotions are a reflection of separation in and as the mind, based on values that support a system of inequality within a profit based system that promotes imagery to idolize and imitate in separation from this physical world, that which is real- unconditional and forgiving as life where there is no belief of more than or less than only the common sense of how this physical world works, and if allowed to be realized as what is real, and shared equally this world would become heaven on earth, and all expressions would become the life that is what is here in self perfection.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I am supposed to sit and listen to the emotions of others

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to listen and be compassionate for the emotions of others, which is actually my self suffering the limitations of my self and others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be like the person in the book The Giver, that children read in elementary school where there is a society of people in an alternate living, where there is always a person in the society who takes the emotions of others and carries them, when the old one who does this dies a new one is born and that is the story, basically.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that it is my role to take the emotions of others and accept them.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I need to fear the emotions of others

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel like I want to regurgitate emotion

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to want to run and hide from emotion, which indicates that emotions as mind are not something to suffer, yet also not something to fear and run from, but to simply acknowledge for what they are as an act of separation and to thus not fear them, evident in my self wanting to “hide” from them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I have to take the emotions of others and be compassionate, 

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to pity my self

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel like I am spinning around in this and I won’t fucking let go of this and I have no idea why the fuck I won’t let this go, when I know that this will lead no where

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel sorry for my self

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize to use the tool of breath and remain in breath and realize ego for what it is, an alternate mind reality where man, and the stories of men are the only value, a limited design of a mind that is the very separation from what is real, this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear the grid of the ego, to fear the emotions and feelings and thoughts of a mind consciousness system, which is my self fearing my self and actually a habit, this being the cause of resistance to walking through the fears that are the separations of my self from my self as life, which I have done before and thus must breath and stand within and as and forgive.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to hang onto past relationship, and not stand here as my self as life, as the past is a story of want, need and desire, and not what is actually here and real as this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to be as much an ego, as my dead husband or anyone, it is me hanging onto some emotion based on this limited design, which is a design I have accepted and allowed and it has nothing to do with anyone but my self here, it all reflect me and what I have accepted and allowed

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to allow my self to become overwhelmed with what I am doing and to want to go to sleep

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self  to not immediately return to breath and realize that when I begin to worry about the future I am living in my past and abdicating the capacity of my self to direct my self as life here, remaining within this moment in and as breath, equal and one with this physical world.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I  cannot enjoy being here without another person, when there are plants and trees and many animals surrounding me that are one and equal to me.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize how much I cannot and people cannot see and thus remain humble and patient in and as breath.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to want to have a relationship with something here, where my only relationship is to understand this physical world

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel tired

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to be disgusted with my own emotion to the point where I do not want to eat

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be disgusted with my self

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have become stagnant within my own emotions where I must breath and take this emotion back into and as my self realizing that this emotion is an energetic mirror image of my own separations, based on idea, belief and opinion in fear, an illusion, where I as life am capable of bringing this back to self, standing within and directing my self in common sense, one and equal, to this unconditionally forgiving earth, the very manifestation of life, that is this physical world, that which is real.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my emotions are my fears they are the mirror image of what I fear where I dress them up in pretty pictures to hide what it is that I fear

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my emotions and feelings are the facades in and as the mirror of my fears, a veil of where I have abdicated my self as life in fear of becoming life, like I take the greatest gift ever given and I reject it

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have refused to perform when my father asked, which was my self rejecting  a gift given the self as my self in expression because I was angry that my father was asking me to perform for his own aggrandizement by having me be a show dog for his friends.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have been so angry that he had wanted me to do this that I said no and I did not perform and no matter what he did I refused.

I commit my self to stabilizing my self into and as breath where I remain here in common sense of this physical world, as this earth, this physical, is what is real, and the mind is a map of the past as what has been made huge as belief opinion and idea in separation of life, this very effect used and abused by the media, the words and ideas and morals of family and the knowledge and information presented within an education system that is not actually physically experienced and thus becomes an image only without any breath or real understanding, and thus can my self as a human be manipulated as I have no actual physical experience, thus I commit my self to remaining here in breath until the mind is silent and I walk my self to understanding how this physical world works in fact, of which I cannot accept the words and dictates from systems of profit as profit is before life, thus what is presented is divided into parts to disallow any real understanding of this physical world as this would allow my self and humans to understand this physical world and be able to become self directed and understand oneness and equality with this physically unconditionally giving physical world, where everything works in tandem with all that is and what is causing suffering and abuse is the division of earth from itself as life able to work in union with itself as life.

I commit myself to focusing on my breath and recognizing my self as one and equal to this physical world until it is done and I as the mind become nothing.

I commit to remaining here in this moment in and as breath, self directing in common sense with what is actually here, researching and understanding the divisions of this world that are disallowing life as all as one as equal.