Thursday, January 3, 2013

Day 249 - 250 Fear Dimension Self abdication character

Fear Dimension : Self Abdication Character
When I talk with another, I chose my words carefully, and often there is back chatjudgement of the other, based on class values, family values, cultural values. The idea comes to mind that being helpful is the directive, but also to realize that sometimes giving help means one is pulled off the table - so to speak, so it means being careful within giving help. Yet, one must communicate, and within this realize when something was not made clear enough, within self, or within the choice of words for another. In the process be willing to face back lash, and frustration, within reaching equal understanding within terms used and relationships made within the context of expression in the moment, especially in the realization that small degrees of difference in class and values, as how we live at the moment, are not really understood in the heat of reaction within self judgement. Defensive remarks on my part, indicate a lack of clarity, and within this to realize that I am entering into becoming fearful where what needs be done, is sometimes to just admit this, to calm the waters, and then move into restatement and thus understanding.
There are those times when, within conversation, things end on a note of “winning” as in a statement is made thus a belief that because a singular statement has been made, there is no further to go. And yet, often this is not the case, what has happened is a step within clarification only, there remains a string of consequences still to be walked. And , yet, even here, a micro step has been walked, and that is all, no fanfare of glory accompaniment, it is what it is.
The principle of what is best for all, as common sense of what exists on earth, is the directive. As what is best for all manifested as a system will create equality, sustainability and stability, and thus to see this on a micro scale within behavior, there is no need to control, or win, or fear, as a respect for life, as life is the only choice.
The nature of consciousness if to defend limitations, and to become bullish within this. This happens in protection and defense and as the expression of the person, crying what isbullying within as the fear of loss based on limited self development within awareness of what self is as mind, and the perceptive lack of seeing life for what it is as the physical, as emotional and feeling polarities of separation will the expression of the person in their separation from equality, from stability. Thus the expression of consciousness is the system without, where the role play taught supports this inequality, and the behaviors within as this whole system teaches ignorance, suppression and a deliberate loss of common sense of the whole.
I think if a picture I saw on FB today, where a person is taking a picture of a cow being slaughtered and another cow is there baying at the person taking the picture. The caption is the voice of the cow baying - so to speak- where the cow is importuning the photographer to help him, begging him to save him ( the cow) from becoming what he is watching. This is how out of touch the human is from life, as consciousness. I can imagine the back lash as mind if I spoke up about this. Such backlash is always emotional, either lifeless with indifference, or emotional - as energetic reaction- with guilt, both lack compassion as life.
Real hurt is a suppression of life. An inability to exist within common sense. Is this why we have so many adults in complaint in this world, and in physical lack, as what exists is the hurt of suppression as life, as the bullying system as consciousness began on day one within the home by parents existing within what has become as the within on the without as the present system of inequality, as profit for a few who are the most aggressive bullies, as the ones who went with the suppression of common sense as life, justaccepting in the realization that there appeared to be no way out? is this what is meant by the “weak shall inherit the earth”? And who are the weak in this system? Is it man? Is it certain members of men? I don’t think so, I think it is that cow that is the weak, it is the animals and the plants> Men are so used to thinking only in “manly” terms that the idea the collectively some men will remain is the illusion, the weak are the animals, and they as nature, which is what and who has been weakened, will be what remains.
I look back at my behaviors. I had a roommate in NewYork tell me one day - as this comes up- that I appeared to not mind to be alone. I looked at him and thought, really, am I this, but then I thought about it and i did not mind being alone.
I would escape from the world, needing time alone, and I would say to myself it was to clear myself up, meaning, it was not that I disliked people it was just that i needed a break from them.
Then I think of having fevers as a child, wanting it to go away, and curling up in a ball until it passed and within this becoming really silent within, as somehow this made the process of the fever move faster. I don’t like to be pampered when I am sick, I just want to curl up in a ball and become really quiet.
The point is that here need be no hurt, and thus no controls within the principle of what is best for all, as directive. This stabilizes, this sustains self, this is equality as life here, and as life there is the capacity to move equal and one as self as life in commonsense of what is best for all, as life has the ability to investigate and see itself, and when a mis take is made, it is to simply smile as life and realize self expanding in under standing life, which is to have the capacity to under stand self and express self as life. no suppression needed, no hurt necessary, no desire for control.
This is to capitalize on this gift of the physical as life, to become one and equal to and as life, in common sense with this physical world, as it is life, equal and one as myself here. When this is within, as what i am, this will become what is without. As this present system of capital division into more and less, is abusing and hurting life, as the cow is so clearly expressing, those that are the weak within this system that is criminal towards life.
So, my self abdication is a fear of being hurt, of being slaughtered, as myself as life. So, I suppress myself in fear of the bullying paddle and the back lash of the parasite of consciousness, a judging mind made huge into beliefs, opinions and ideas of more than and less than, creating such a state of insanity, as fear , that alternate realities of salvation are imagined to hide form the pain of the suppression of self as life within, as this parasite as consciousness consumes the human flesh to keep the televised superstition as imagined nations running as seeming entertainment as a picture show of fairy tale fantasy, the story presented the dialogue of how such separation exists as judgements of less than and more than, the good and the bad. Step back and breath, and the shadow of this hallowed existence can be seen. If we look to our flesh and this earth, it is obvious that the physical is being consumed.
Yes, I can become the slaughtered cow, and or the cow that is next in line, yet as life I will remain, but the method of transformation of life here within this present system is not one to be retold or have any pride for, as it is abusive of this gift, and we have wrapped this gift up within a system of inequality that is best forgotten of cleaned up and aligned within the realization that being life is the value. Obviously, the human has not become self responsible as life, and it is time to become this within myself and to stand and support a system that reflect self responsibility within respect for life, as life on this planet.

Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can be hurt, that i can be bullied.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being hurt.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life, into and as a fear that i can be hurt.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what happened to me as a child can happen to me here, as an adult.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear, to become a past memory as a definition of what i am here, as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must suppress myself as a means of protection and defense, to shut myself down and hide within myself to silence the back lash, and the bulling voice of belief, opinion and idea of limited values, of more than and less than energetic expression in separation from life, where I exist as the suppression of the principle of oneness in equality, this a common sense as life, here, voiced and self directed within self honesty as what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the habit of suppression in and as fear of hurt which then becomes guilt, self hate, and shame, voiced as spite and blame in hiding the suppression as the choice self as life has made.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear voicing what I see within and as realeyes within and as catering to social norms taught as a belief that I will hurt someone’s feelings/emotions, which are a composite of accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas valuing traditions become assumptions without the use of common sense investigation of what is real, as how such traditions have become imbedded as culture, and thus a culture of fear, suppression and such beliefs as “hurting someone’s feelings.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that feelings and emotions can be hurt, which is myself not looking at the emotion and the feeling in common sense to realize the belief behind the emotion and the feeling to see, realize and understand that such belief is based on a fear of loss, which is to say a loss through fear, where fear is separation from self as life, meaning a separation from self realeyesing equality and oneness with and as what is physically here as being equal and one as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as each and every breath, within and as the principle of oneness and equality, the simplicity of realizing that fear is a separation from life, and thus a self abdication of self as life, where if self is life here as the physical, then obviously self has total and absolute ability within and as being, living, existing within common sense of what is here as the physical.
I commit myself to, with and as every breath, to remain here within and as the actual real text as the physical, to see, realize and understand common sense, and within this to investigate present existential structures denying the basic needs of what is supportive of this physical world as life, where life is the value.
I commit myself to stop and to breath, and to see, realize and understand that I as life, can stop and can breath, and can slow myself down and apply, instead of abdicate, myself as life, here, as equality and oneness with and as life, here, harbors no hurt, as it is directive, and brings imagination and illusion back down to earth, through directive application with the text of life as this actual, real, physical world, the gift to birth self as life, equal and one into and as the physical.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, in and as breath, to see realize and understand the movement of emotions and feelings moving up into my chest, as compoundedthoughts based on generational traditions composed into and as beliefs, opinions and idea in separation from real eyeseeing what is here in common sense as the physical world, as the mind consists of images/pictures/thoughts/ imaginations, where if an image in separation of life , as mind, is made what is real, can the illusion be controlled and used tomanipulate the movement of men within this physical world, which is what paper money is, a picture representation of the real resources of this world and the value within the use of freely given resources used to support life, thus are such characters developed as a singular man being the developer of a nation, when this is obviously an illusion, as it was the hands of men that built a nation using freely given resources, yet what was presented was one as an image superimposed through media and story, an image made huge in separation from what actually physically created what exists, which is all men, which can be realized though the presentation of an idea as a superhero, which in fact does not exist, and has never built anything, where what the supposed singular - as one man- nation builders were really just a type of administrator of the flow of resource via a picture as a piece of paper given a value, thus what actually physically exists is other than the illusion/idea presented as history, which should really be called ustory, manstory.
i commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my thoughts, emotions and feelings are a warped reality of want, need and desire, as limited values made huge to serve a more than and a less than in separation from reality, thus I skim though life chasing limitations of my own common sense of all life, and thus do I miss the expression of myself as life, where my development has been to follow illusion as parts made huge, and the behavior of blame and spite, of self pity and longing, when my illusions are not met, as they cannot be met and sustained as they are in ignorance of equality and oneness in and as life, here.
I commit myself to no longer allowing and accepting myself to fear losing my own accepted and allowed illusions, as thought, emotion and feeling based on limited desire , want and need, to realize what is sought in common sense is myself as life, and thus is my longing myself seeking life away from the howling storm of emotion, thought and feeling.
I commit myself to no longer abdicate myself as life through looking at what practically exists here, to face what images appear in and as my mind, based on my past of which they are composed as judgements ignorant of physical reality, an image in separation from common sense and thus infearior to life.

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