Thursday, January 24, 2013

Day 265 The abuse of a lack of presence equal to the physical

An interlude
An interlude (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I realize that when I am directly working with another person, I really tend not to judge them as much as when I am at a distance.
For example,I lived below an elderly woman who was probably on “blood thinners” because she would get these nose bleeds and show up at my door, blood running profusely out of her nose, asking for help. I would help here, I did not even think twice about the blood that was going everywhere. I just dealt with it, did not think about it.
After helping her and going back into my own space, it was then that I had reactions based on an idea of her blood having gotten onto my hands etc. Which went against all common sense, and even against my immediate reaction to her blood. What needed to be done, to help her, in the moment was all that i did, and if it meant getting some of her blood on me, so be it. I didn’t think about it.
Yet, afterwards the imagination went crazy, with fear, as play-outs of possibility. All kinds of conversations/thoughts running wild. Why does this woman come to me - what can I do, what if I catch something from her blood, how could I have touched her blood, why does she not call the paramedics, she just wants attention. So far in my life, as far as I can tell, when confronted with the immediacy of a situation, such reactions as my thoughts, are not even listened to. Do I have at least some integrity left, where common sense practically within the moment, is what continues to direct me?
I take this and I relate this to racism.
In my son’s fifth year of elementary school he had one black boy in his class ( now my children had grown up with a neighbor who was black and he was very close to my children). I think it was mid-year when my son started to come home and say to me , Mom, I am always working with X ( X was a black boy). I asked some questions but did not make a big deal about the situation. It was when my son persisted that I started to look at the situation some more.
What I found out was that the teacher paired students together during work, and my son was always paired with the black boy, and he had started, after half a school year, to want to be paired with others as well, not ONLY X.
Just about the time that I realized this, and I may have told my son to ask the teacher to pair him with other students as well, that the teacher called me and said, “ Your son is being difficult, he does not want to work with X.” So, I asked the teacher, has my son worked with X all year?. Is he not just asking to have some variation?”. This is when the teacher said to me, “ The other children will not work with X” ( now there are two levels here, one is that X was evidently not a very focused student and the other was that he was black) .
So, I said to the teacher, “ You mean to tell me that my son has to always work with this boy because none of the others will work with him?” , “ Are you allowing other students to form different pairs?”, “ Has my son worked with this boy all year?”, “ Is he just asking to have a chance to work with a different person, as he sees others doing, possibly?”
It did not matter what i said this teacher, like a fucking robot just kept saying the same thing to me, “ My son, is refusing to work with X”, “ He is being difficult”. I was astounded. To say the least.
I knew all the parents of these children, there were others boys that did the school work, there were other possibilities. There were parents of children that were “upstanding citizens of the community” in this class; one was the son of a teacher, and the other was a son of a successful business in town. There was no reason why the pairings could not exist within some variety.
I was simply asking the teacher to allow some variety, as what my son had seen and asked for.
Even when I pointed out that what she was telling me was racist, she persisted, she just kept saying that no one else would work with X - and even within this, if my son worked with X because the work got done, as X had difficulty in doing the work, having my son work with this boy because of this was in no way helping this boy begin to be able to do the work himself. This is racism intellectually as well, in assuming a situation where this boy’s inability to work was not addressed. Criminal really. And my son was being made out to be the criminal, despite all common sense being asked, it was completely ignored and no matter what i said this teacher seemed to not be able to stand outside of what she was saying. I ended up explaining to my son that all of this was really messed up and that he would have to work with this boy, because he was being made out to be the “ bad guy” and the ignorance was so thick, it was not worth it to fight this battle, even though I had made it clear to this teacher what she was saying. I got to the point where i would speak my mind, and then let it go, because the push back was of such ignorance, I alone could not change this.
In the class year book, this black boy X had, when asked the question of who he wanted to be when he grew up, “ I want to be Willy.” That is really sick. Some might make this into a “Hallmark moment” but this is NOT what this is. This is fucking sick, that a little black boy would perhaps finally have another boy look at him like a person, a boy that had no qualms about the color of his skin because he had had a childhood friend who was black and had never encountered aversion to a black skinned boy, and when he saw others in the group doing this, started to want to do something else, ( for various reasons , some of which were because of the racism) and thus was becoming aware that being with a black person meant not being able to be with others, as the reactions of others against this, meant that my son had then to become this too. How in the hell can a child deal with this? And being alone at that? These pressures, and this ignorance in lack of common sense of what is here! What other pressures exist on our children, so seemingly subtly enforced through silent borders not called out by name for what they really are? And is the conditioning the same, within myself, in that no matter what I said to this teacher, she just kept repeating the same ignorant party line of accepted ignorant division?
Now that i have ranted about that, back to my original point.
So, I was working with this young “black” boy. I reach out and I touch hisi hand ( his mother was there). I have no qualms about this boy, in the moment, he is simply a boy, a person, flesh and blood.
So, in this same elementary school, there was a scene with this “black boy” i am working with. He had evidently shit in his pants while in kindergarten one day, at recess.
Now, this boy had some anxiety problem, where he would hold in his feces. How this developed, was not discussed, not looked at, as we humans get emotional about everything, and do not look at how our physical bodies work in common sense, and give names to things, such as something like shit being disgusting - not realizing that shit is food waste and nothing else. (I can hear the retarded thinking that if shit is not disgusting then…. which means you are being emotional if this comes up within you, and you are a walking judgement without common sense)
So, this boy, who happens to have black skin, and some “held in anxiety” that affects him, which happens to be intestinal, during a point of calm, recess, suddenly defecates in his pants. What does the teacher here in this school do? She gets angry with this small human being, and tells him he did this on purpose, and makes him stand in the middle of the room until his mother comes to fetch him. Incredible, a teacher who cannot deal with shit- would she have done the same if this child was the son of the police officer parent, or teacher parent in the school? Of course not.
And it goes on and on, as I am here telling this story of no life, and I was told this story of no life, again and again by a distraught mother, meanwhile the same tension exists within the child. So nothing has been addressed, and the emotional anxiety continues via a memory, to be told again and again, the hurt being carried around like a burden. And so it goes. And this is so thick , this none common sensical action, that seeing through all of this and correcting it seems nearly impossible.
But this moment, the immediate, the here, this moment, when the blood is in front of me, and that little black hand is here, right in front of me, this blood is blood, this old woman needs help, this child is a child, the skin darker, yet the child is a human with a hand just like mine. In these here moments of common sense with what is actually simply real. All the thoughts, and the ideas and the fears and the emotions, are not real, they are ideas of something other than it is, they have no awareness in common sense of any dimension of life as what is physically real, not seeing what is actually here and how here functions in common sense, and placing a judgement onto something based on ideas lacking insight to what is physically real and how the actual physical functions, are imaginations based on no -looking, based on secondary borders of self interest, based on ahierarchy lacking understanding of the actual physical world, ideas that are superstitious, beliefs that are based on character development bred in a history of economic division, where the lack of physical support as a human, leads to diminishment in health and development, this then being carried out genetically as this lack develops physical diminishment, as the separation from “wholeness” remains until aligned. Which means that even a lack in vocabulary is passed from one generation to another ( and this in abody that resonates what is taught, as all that water with which the human is composed of the influence of one’s original home life and then stagnant) THis is the sins of the father being physically carried down with each generation based on environmental and social exposure inequality that was never ever taken care of, in ignorance of this actual physical world.
We are all the same. Yet we have imposed beliefs, ideas and opinions, in lack of common sense of what is real, this actual physical world, the gift of life.
Blood is blood, shit is shit, pigment is pigment, health is health, the physical requires proper sustenance - lack of proper sustenance leads to dis-ease - a LACK of ease.
In being racist, one does not only hurt the one being judged, one hurts self and all generations of children to come.

In fearing to clean up shit because it comes from a skin with pigment, the ignorance of self within how the actual physical works, where that child had developed an ignorance of self physically and created dark shadows of this in fear of understanding what was physically going on, as the emotions of the adult were what was shouted and cried, this being what was embedded within this child, lacking all common sense, and thus carried into kindergarten as never having been worked through in a stew of others being the same, one big fat compounded mess of separation from what is real, this physical world. This behavior, that is ignorance, that is what our mind consciousness is showing us, a tool to see what we have not seen in equality and oneness as what is real as the actual physical world, this behavior, as the one being the victim, of the one being the bully of limited awareness, perpetuates abuse. Abuse is ignorance. Period.
This has to stop.
This economic hierarchy must be removed by what placed this here, what allowed this, what perpetuates this, which is the human, which is man.
The means are available to take care of life, to allow life to exist within full development. The means exists to allow life to be life, here, in expression.
Racism, classism, elitism, nationalism, is all a judgement in separation from life, all of it.
The behaviors that exist, are caused by lack, in not allowing healthful sustaining practices and in perpetuated beliefs that are a mirage embedded in the physical, a physical body able to hold resonances of limitation, energetic non sustaining, insubstantial movement that is the separation from life, as it is not living equal and one as life. What does not sustain, what is not realizing the physical and how it functions in common sense, is diminishing life, and this is the system at present on earth.
Time to wake up and realize beliefs, opinions and ideas are separations from life, they are what in self ignores the actual functioning of this physical world.
Thus, support of a system that equalizes care to all of earth, to all that is here, is to stand and support awareness of the physical world as life, as what is life, this meaning that all is life. Everything.
The only way to clean up life, is to take care of life, all of it, equally. This means this physical world.
Equal Money Capitalism is to realize this, a structure to realize this, to remove the superstitious judgements ignorant of this physical world. The mind dramas as picture shows are not real, the fantasy has nothing to do with what is here. As the mind takes pictures and if these pictures are composed of emotions and feelings, desires and wants ( just thinksexual obsession) these emotions and feelings and desires, obsessions, are a distortion of reality and thus a separation from what is real from what is fulfilling as life. Just as that child lacks in sustenance and is unable to develop to just BE, so that imaginary desire is never fulfilling because it is not considering what is physically real. Thus, the superficialis illusion, in separation from life. Yet, the simplicity of being one and equal to the physical world, would be fulfilling. It is like we are existing, in being mind only as memory, in reverse of life. One is perpetual seeking and longing, and the other is actual living where no more longing could exist.
Strand up, and support Equal Money Capitalism, take what is here, as being what supports life, and use this capital to support the value being life, where life is what is the capital existent on earth, as this is the real value, here.
The rewards of such a system benefit all. This is simple to realize if one takes the time to look. Slows down, uses common sense and actually looks.
There is a course, provided for free, by desteni, to walk one into seeing how emotions, thoughts and feelings are the reflection of self in separation, as judgement, as mind only, as what is determining this world or abuse. Thus, can one begin to realize self's existence in reverse of life.
Desteni I Process Lite. Check it out.
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