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| VINCENNES, FRANCE - APRIL 19: 'Bouboule', an English bulldog rests in its hotel room at Actuel Dogs on April 19, 2011 in Vincennes, France. Opened in November 2010 by Devi and Stan Burun, Actuel Dogs is a five star luxury hotel for dogs with two single rooms and two suites. With the aim of meeting the dogs' needs, the hotel offers activities including 'doggy rando' and other services such as 'dog massage'. The hotel also caters to the needs of people living in small appartments or who don't have the time to walk their dogs. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife) |
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| VINCENNES, FRANCE - APRIL 19: 'Ulysse', a labrador in its hotel room at Actuel Dogs on April 19, 2011 in Vincennes, France. Opened in November 2010 by Devi and Stan Burun, Actuel Dogs is a five star luxury hotel for dogs with two single rooms and two suites. With the aim of meeting the dogs' needs, the hotel offers activities including 'doggy rando' and other services such as 'dog massage'. The hotel also caters to the needs of people living in small appartments or who don't have the time to walk their dogs. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife) |
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| The Stray Dogs (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear seeing my dog grow old and become helpless.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear watching someone age and become helpless.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear becoming old and incapacitated and helpless.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become very disturbed by an aging animal or person.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become disturbed by statements such as “ you get old and can no longer do things,” “ I am getting old and become overwhelmed by the smallest things” which I hear from the elderly people here within this retirement community in which I live, where I now understand that this is the effects of consciousness, where memories are held within the very cells of the human physical body, and utilize the human physical body to feed the images as the memories as the past, that are secondary to what is actually physically here, that which is real thus the human is resonantly composed of images, of pictures as the past, pictures taken of this world that accumulate and utilize the human physical body to maintain their generation, and within this maintaining the generation of separation from life, as existence is allowing direction from a limited belief system and thus consuming this earth from within and from without, instead of being and existing one and equal in and as the physical, the instrument of life here, the tool to create heaven on earth here, thus do we abdicate the gift of life as we fear standing up as life, as we have not learned how to exist one and equal to this physical world, to “read” this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see ONLY the aging animal, in and as a belief that aging is sad, and to not investigate why the animal exists in this way, where instead of seeing this for what it is, I become an emotion and accept this emotion as life, as what this world is, as “how things are” not realizing and understanding that this is a physical world that can be understood, as life would want to express and be, and yet it is hammered into us that “this is the way it is.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be angry with my mother for her own self pity about her aging, where she drank most of her life, and despite the fact that the medications she takes are not in fact curing here, she believes that this is the way to go, not looking at what is actually physically happening, where there are many who do not have what she has, and thus this is an indication that this need not exist, because if it were the”way it is” then everyone would be the same, yet they are not, so the fact that this does not exist, means that it does not need to exist.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this emotion of sadness as an accepted expression, where some might call me “caring and sensitive” is pointless, it proves nothing and solves nothing, just like when my husband killed himself, all the pity patter did nothing, answered no questions, and the pity patter always ended there and seemed like a self flagellation or self expressing concern and just this and nothing else, so it was just a programmed response of no understanding, and it went no where, cutting off all communication, resolution, or physical awareness of what is going on on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become withdrawn within this, to stand back and separate myself from here, as I felt I was being talked to and only met impatience when I asked questions, or moved beyond this limited insight into how and why what is here on this earth exists.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize this becoming a “withdrawn character” is something learned in childhood, to just shut up and stop speaking, to stop the irritation and hard driving in and as the behavior of the mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when my angry father came up the stairs I stood and I tried to get ahead of where he was going to stop the bullying, I spoke and it did not matter, I had no chance, but often I would keep fighting, as I could not accept what was happening, and my sisters cowered, and I hated watching this as well.
Where it was like I was trying to see where this tirade was going and to try and stop it, to try to get to the end to negate this and all it did was irritate the expression as the story, like I was killing the release of the story and this only inflamed the story, which is why I fought so much with my father as a child. I could not accept this, would not, will not as this is not life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to dread this emotion of sadness, as it feels really horrible, like a huge sinking massive weight coming down into and as me.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is a sense of futility and not myself here as life, able to stand and move and breath and use my common sense to become one and equal with this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that this emotion is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel life I am trying to keep my head above water- so to speak.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this emotion to become me, where i have the tool in and as breath, to breath and to be here, to look at what is here within common sense of how this physical world functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that any emotion is the same as this emotion, a separation from what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this energetic storm to consume and become what i am here, as this is not self directive, but self within and as a belief that this is the way things are.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that such emotions would be used to placate and to control and to diminish so that life would beconsumed by this limited being of self, and thus not stand up and realize self as life, as this would upset the ones who lead a comfortable existence, which is an illusion as the separation from life leads to a body decaying, even for the rich and the comfortable, where no amount of money will stop the incapacity of the aging physical body, as the only solution is to stand as self as life, one and equal to this physical world, thus must this system of inequality stop for life to begin, which means to actually learn to live, one must be willing to understand that all possessions and amount of money being protected and held onto, in righteous indignation, is the very thing that must be given up in order for the the human to become one and equal to life via the physical, where this is the value and not that fabric lined coffin of seeming comfort for a body ravaged from a life of never having lived.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that as money limits existence without, emotions, thoughts and feelings limited existence within as the human, and all of this is controlled through the dictates of a few, held together by the fear of not surviving should one not have money, and thus are we all kept as slaves to feed a few, causing our own decay as we have not accepted life as the value.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the mind is the beliefs, opinions and ideas holding self, which self accepts and allows, within a limited perception of this physical world, and this dis-use of self as life, as actions that are ignoring what is here, remain unfinished and unresolved as walking this resolution means giving up monetary security, as the world without reflects the actions within, this being of self standing as a desire for survival as money and not in common sense of what is actually physically real here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this character of pity for aging animals, is my own guilt and fear of self abdication in and as life here.
I commit myself to stopping and to breathing, when I encounter an aging dog, or person.
I commit myself to realizing that allowing myself to become an emotion of futility is not a solution towards changing what has been accepted and allowed as the existence of the physical becoming so consumed by energy as emotion, thought and feeling, belief, opinion and idea as limited insights that are separate from common sense of this gift of life as the physical, to realize myself as breath, here, actually remaining in awareness of breath, the rise and the fall, the in and the out, as this is real and not this emotion of sadness and futility, as within breath I am directing myself as life.
I commit myself to speaking up in common sense of life, in revealing that all emotion, thought and feeling if the expression of separation, is the very manifestation of separation, thevoice of ignorance, the shield of self interest as the avoidance of an illusion that is believed to be real as a fear of loss, the irony being that this fear of loss is the illusion because the illusion of inequality has been believed, the magnification of one value over another, all ignoring the primary value, life, as the realization of this value would realize giving as one would like to recieve in equality and oneness.
I commit myself to realizing that the diminishment of the physical is the fuck up of this existence, so accepted and allowed as a belief that what is real can no longer be seen, and it is this very state of self that is the cause of the unacceptable and an indication of the blind and the ignorant state of the human on earth, where is we all stop and breath, we will realize that this is not life, it is as simple as that.
I commit myself to realizing that becoming disturbed by this is spiteful and non-directive, as I move from pity to self righteousness, and instead, remain here, breathing, walking in humility, forgiving common sense of how the very behaviors of the human are indicative/telling of separation from life, acts of self interest as fear of losing what enables comfort and survival, that which no matter how much comfort one has, will not stop the outcome all face, which is death.
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