Friday, September 21, 2012

Day 153 Listening and solving involves no reaction

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this memory that comes up, where I lose the “good graces” of my mother.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear creating anger in a parent
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the wrath of a dominating figure, as this was lived in childhood, without the parental figures even aware of what they were in fact doing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the domineering force of someone bigger than myself , as this memory is from my childhood, where I was small and had no choice but to accept the aggression as the mind as the parents, in separation from life, from self as life, and thus I was powerless to speak up and stand up within myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I become confusion, within myself , I am in fact allowing an unequal focus into a general perception absent details only, where it is almost like not being able to breath, as though I am not looking at the details and the general overview and thus my breath is no longer one and equal to what is actually physically here, because i am not taking this in, I am not allowing myself to become one and equal to what is actually here, thus i miss a breath, i am not one and equal as breath, as the very substance of what is here, and thus am in ignorance, separate from common sense. Here I am causing uncertainty within myself as though meeting the demands of the domineering force is separating common sense as what I am where there is a jump- so to speak-as a bypass that negates common sense details.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing the :”good graces” of a parent in fear that I would be attacked, or my life made difficult.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I acted this way in facing a woman the other day, where my fear was going against what she wanted, even within common sense, as the issue had to deal with money, and within such issues, things are not revealed as what they are, and the illusion is accepted and thus believed to be proper behavior in terms of business.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide from facing the lies I have within and as myself
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define fear within speaking up, within speaking and describing what is here, when all speaking is is describing what is here
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define fear within speaking up.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to speaking up and to standing up within connecting fear to speaking up and standing up in separation from myself here in common sense, where I fear giving details that contradict and expose in common sense, where the voice of the domineering voice often gets louder as these details upset self interest as what is wanting to be presented. Here I stop and I breath, and i walk the details as being in common sense of what is here, despite a rising voice, as often such details will upset a consciousness of self interested persona as what supports a survival belief system developed in unequal awareness of life as the value, as money has become of greater focus than life, and thus is the human a persona reflective of money being greater than life, and this is the force of separation from life, dominating earth, causing abuse and suffering to life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing women for fear of losing their good favor, their favor.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing the favor of another person, not seeing realizing and understanding that remaining in favor with someone means giving up myself into and as their favor in separation from myself, where there is not favor to lose and the only “favor” is to be life, here, one and equal here
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what others will think of me within and as my choices of change
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear of loss to favor
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define loss within favor
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from favor and from loss through defining loss within favor in separation from myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect loss of friendship to standing up as life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear no longer supporting the emotional needs of another as I feel responsible for the emotional needs of another, as though I must change the emotional state of another, which is a starting point of wanting to change another, but it is the expression of life in separation of life, that must realize details supportive of a common sense of the value being life, as the composition of what is here is one and equal to me as life and must realize life as the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can be bullied
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being bullied, where even when I speak I will be bullied, and thus i must just face this, as I have done this, I have build up ideas in and as my mind and then believed them to be real, where what was faced was the bully as the mind, separate from this physical reality, to listen to what is here, without reaction and to stand and bring what is here, within the principle of oneness and equality, back to self as life as the solution to create equality as life, where the value as life becomes the purpose as what life is in fact as an expression as life.







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