I realize in looking back in detail, as much as I am able, into my childhood , through looking at how i move myself here, the very emotional, feeling thought movement of myself here, this which takes some time to realize as what this means, yet all can do this, as this is something that is heavy, that is life an eddy of collected stagnant moments, turned into hope, Hope and an acronym for How Observant People Edify, meaning how people turn their fear into an icon, an idol as guide, when this is really un unresolved expression of self as life, here, at ease with the actual physical world, a creation of a movement of self in need, in desire, where the lens of self becomes a begging for this in thought, word and deed, thus, it is always in the words we speak, our own separations and desires, because we are machines reflecting what we allow ourselves to be, if we are dishonest with life, as what we are, we them become that dishonesty. We cry our dishonesty from life, our separation.
I am seeing Bernanke saying that her is trying to solve the financial crisis, that it all takes time, that it is complicated. It is only complicated because there is fear there, or, one could say there is not wanting to let go of having more than another. Of course there is no resolution of the financial crisis when letting go of having does not fit into the design of what would solve the crisis. The crisis is that in order for one to have what is needed to support life, means another cannot have, and all the systems are directed in such a way to maintain this belief. Bernanke is like a spider in a web, where the workings of the web are the system, and any imbalance triggers a reaction and the spider as illusive web maintainer cannot fathom the ground beneath the web, too busy is he/her with the web. The wave of common sense as life, as all men realizing and standing up can take this web away and let the sunlight in.
Back to myself here, I do this, in and out, from way out there, referencing the present system as the world, back to myself.
I have my own little, bubble/web self designed in protection and defense of my survival, as memories, of thoughts, words and deeds, a story of emotion and feelings coming in and flooding me as I stand here and breath, seeming so real, yet so heavy and consuming. I do not need television, I have my own, I only want the tv when I need a break from myself. lol
It is like a run to organize things, like a proper woman, but what I am doing is organizing things to avoid being bullied, and even to hide that I avoid being bullied. I even dreamup possible bullying scenarios in and as my mind, where being bullied is really being rejected. So it is like I fear being bullied, and then I watch my reactions of others, to ensure I am accepted by them, which means I will then, because I am accepted, not be bullied.
And then I am so busy doing this, that I am not here, I am way far, far ,far away, buried under this self imposed movement of protection and defense that I have no idea how to really communicate as myself here, I have so little practice within being forgiving, that even if I am for a moment a torrent of sadness and tears want to come, as the memories of what I have accepted and allowed, being a longing for underneath all of this, as I allowed myself to become hope, in waiting for some kind of change, as this was created as a child, a pattern of separation set, because there was no other place to go, or I did not have the language and skills, and size to describe, stand up to, pull together in words within facing here.
Physically, I notice that my breath shortens, and within I search for shields of protection to stop what is a threat of punishment within my environment, what is a threat to my existence.
So, I have to breath, through this, to bring myself here, in common sense, without a fear that something will be lost. I don’t even know if I know how to do this, I am going to have to practice this! It is like letting go and bringing it back to self to direct as life in forgiving as life, here.
How did I do this specifically? Through accepting and allowing and using as how I moved in thought word and deed, an ideology of one thing being more than another, of weighing and judging, one value made popular and touted as a glory of having won. But it is not something won, it is really the being of self LOST in survival being justification, separate from actual life, separate from the actual physical world.
The values presented as what is use to direct self within this, are reflected in the choices using the earth’s freely given resources as the products of the consumerist market, where, since these are parts of life, they are not “bad” they are limited and lack consideration of all life, and thus, considering all life, means letting go of the soldiered self of limited bought products that are the fashions of protection and defense.
Bullying will always have limited values as what is used, because the very act of bullying is a separation from looking here,it is a destructive non directive criticism meant to diminish, stagnate instead of direct, show direction within awareness of self as life, as an expression of life, as what is real here. A bully cannot move at ease. A bully is the voiceof fear, a reaction in and as fear, a desperate act. Look, even trolls on the internet are men who are desperate to earn a living, It is like a last resort to survivel.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop and breath and look here, to see, realize and understand that i am life, here, one and equal to and as all that exists on this earth,as the very substance and expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what is here on this earth as the physical world is life, and thus is a system that can be understood, realized here, as myself as the substance of life, this being the value, where it is the selection of limited values made icon, used to con, into and as limited expressions in and as energy as the mind warping reality into limited insight into and as what is here, creating a world of hu-men, into a system of protection and defense in separation from the gift of life, as the promise, the real promise of heaven, given, freely, for life to self realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain here, equal and one to and as breath, to slow down and to communicate with what is here, to realize myself as life in totality, to become one and equal to and as what i am, life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe through a thought that what is here will punish me if I do not match the state of limitation of another, to match a belief, to stand up to a limited belief that is within limitation as mind, as an allowed existential separation from equality and oneness within the value being life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have kept the enemy at bay, which in and as itself was a judgement, a labeling, that was a movement into a separation from and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have stopped breathing, to have become an erratic breath, not seeing realizing and understanding that my physical body, the form of life given to self realize myself as life, was showing me in my own state of disease to and as life, here, where the stopping, hesitant, irractic breath as what I allowed was moving into an ambiguity, a distance from being one and equal here, as life, not seeing understanding how to communicate what was here, as the very substance of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to develop a coping mechanism of protection and defense hidden in the guise of organizing what is here into and as limited values to present agreement, qualified/ recognized/attended to as acceptance with a smile, with energetic empathy, which I accepted as a success in distancing myself from punishment, from being cast out, from becoming a scape goat, from being bullied within being called names, being labeled as less than, being disallowed communication and interaction, thus, became I, a personification in and as what serves a system of separation from life, here , into and as the various roles and the behaviors within and as how these roles move here, within being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a consumer, an American, a human, a class based guidance system, a wife, a wife a widow, a spewer of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, a spender without consideration of where and how and who created and moved the physical things of this earth that can only be moved by the various ways the hands of men have moved what is here, the complacent person, believing that it is too difficult to move myself here, not realizing seeing and understanding that the complacency is a byproduct, into and as a wasted human, because the weight of my separation accumulates within and as me, as energy becoming the directive of myself as I have misaligned myself through a mind, not understanding how the mind works, and thus have I accepted and allowed complacency to be what is real not seeing realizing and understanding that this complacency is the waste of a life lived in self interest only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am here, that I can breath, that i can see, realize and understand how this actual physical world functions through simple common sense and bring myself back into and as the physical and direct myself here, from this point to begin to practice walking equal and one to and as the physical here, no drugs necessary, no hand holding with an illusionary god, no reference to an invisible hand, no acceptance of a statement that it is difficult, no allowance that it is complicated, no disallowing communication until common sense of this actual physical world is aligned equal and one to all life, of which a visible existence of oneness and equality as heaven on earth, where all life here moves in and at ease, where no matter whose shoes I walk, I am at ease here, equal and one to and as an expression of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the passive bully.
Self commitments to follow.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Day 322 The Global Mind of Self Interest: Bernanke and " It's Complicated"
http://www.spiegel.de/international/business/robert-zoellick-interview-us-eu-trans-atlantic-free-trade-agreement-a-890809.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/26/elizabeth-warren-ben-bernanke_n_2766368.html
I am reading this article about the supposed financial crisis and the need for a new global system and it dawns on me, in all common sense that the whole financial crisis is a scam and it does not take much to realize this.
This is a planet with resources we use to sustain ourselves, men move this resource around and create things with it to, hopefully, improve our lives, to allow us to live. We build machines to move this around and develop this. We all participate in this process, well most of us do, there are many that are born and starve, some more quickly than others and some over a longer period of time.
And then there is this thing called finance. And this thing called finance evidently determines how things move around on this earth. Yet, how can a secondary thing determine how things move around, and how can what is a system that organizes be in some kind of crisis? I mean what is done after something is made by a man, or a collective of men, it moves from one place to another, or through a physical process changes form. So, how is it that there is a financial crisis, when this is simply a thing placed on resource?
The only reason a financial crisis actually exists is because someone, or something, a collective is placing conditions on that actual physical thing being moved around, like saying, “ you who live on this part of the earth cannot have this because I want this.”
What should come before any and all conditions is support of life, period. When one person or plant or animal, when anything on this earth, needs some kind of support this should be given, absolutely, because the resources of this earth are given freely, no one can own them, they are here, they are us, they are each of us, they are what supports us, all of us, the substance of this earth is what is life, what provides life. This drama of financial crisis is a drama, an illusion, and we are all accepting this as real, and it is fabricated, it is not real. All beliefs around this can be dispersed and the complacency with which we disallow moving out of this common sense must stop. The so called “ financial crisis” is a smoke screen, an avoidance tactic, a tantrum of greed”, because it is not what does the actual physical moving of things, it is something imposed on this earth. And all based on a belief that one thing can be more than another, when what is here simply is what it is.
If I talk about bubbles being around individual people, one does not have to use this to understand, if one never experienced this, what is happening on earth because objectively the technological system that is on earth, BUILT BY MEN, reflects, broadcasts, incessantly deliniates how a human supposedly “ should be” what is needed to be this, and usesmoney to threaten life being sustained should non compliance be the choice made by an individual. Thus fear becomes larger than life, and a few supposedly live, when they are not really life either, a burden is imposed that is what is born f their lives. They will sit in an interview and spout a belief in some divine force guiding them. This is a state of delusion, and it is an illusion that, as far as I am concerned, can sit and delude itself away in a castle box, until its fantasy rots. The miss Havershome, the ones who believe they “have some” can sit and watch their wedding cake turn to dust. The rest of us must stand and realize this delusion as a paper veil, and reorganize this world to become heaven on earth, as we humans can build this, we are industrious, we are capable, we are creators, we have been given the gift of life, lets stand up and be and become what it is that we are.
Organize, join desteni, join and support the Equal Money System. Walk with us, realize that the solution is through simple practical common sense. The communicationssystems are here, the transport systems are here, the hands of men, many idol, are here, the soil is here, the water, the plants and the animals. It is like we have been given a super fantastic toy store to “play” with and we are allowing some spoiled bully stand there and tell us what to do, when we can communicate with one another and solve organizing this world to be at ease, to be healthy, to be alive and breathing and doing and interacting. Every inch of this earth. On one level, would not this be the greatest accomplishment of each of us as men to stand and do? What else is there?
If efforts were put into taking care of this earth instead of voicing a scam, perhaps this world would be heaven on earth.
Because this financial situation is a scam, because it is not what actually physically moves and creates as it is men that move and create here within this system, it should be obvious that everything that is happening with this supposed financial crisis is by design, it is a game being played in self interest without any regard for life what-so-ever.
How money is being used, and the illusion within how money is being used is criminal, as it is denying life on earth. The financial situation is simply how money is organized to move the capital of the earth used to support humans ( and should consider the life of plants and animals too) and this is just it, it is what organizes the resources of earth, it is not what actually moves the resources, it cannot. To think that a piece of paper has the physical capacity to move something is a sign of delusion. Money does not move anything, the directives of men move things.
How money is being used is creating situations of lack, in people, in soils, in the state of the animal kingdom. All of it is being directed by illusions that are in separation from common sense of what actually physically exists here. There is a huge disconnect from reality here on earth by the human.
I also read some interview with a supposed elite person. This persona actually believes that they are elite by some divine design. Incredible. Of course as this illusion stand they probably could come and have someone shoot me, but this will not change a thing, they will still be a human that dies and so will I. No difference. The only difference is a belief, and even beliefs do not actually physically move things around, it is a physical action that moves things around on this earth.
The financial crisis is a scam, it is what allows greed to exist. Acceptance of this system is unacceptable, it is an illusion. We are all being controlled by ideas and beliefs and opinions that are not looking at how this earth, this physical world moves and simply is.
It actually is not even worth it to react to any of the ranters going on and on about this financial crisis, it will do no good, as the humans in the roles talking about this, and the elites benefitting from this, really think that they know, and that they are divine and special, and all in the face of how this world works. They are delusional, they have lost all common sense.
Standing up within this delusion probably would not be all that hard once this is understood by a large enough group of people. The screaming, crying, ranting voice of delusion really has no strength because it babbles on with no awareness of the physical world and how the physical is what is real.
We need a new structure for the global system, and all it involves is common sense, the removal of a delusion that some life has greater value than other life. If you notice the two words are the same, as we are all the same in that we are life, and this is the value. How we are using money is casting a shadow on life in allowing some life to be more than other “life”. And this makes no sense, and obviously is that of a belief only, a thought - not something that is real, and this is the basis of this present system. The human, is simply delusional and thus not really alive, living, being what the human really is, which is life. Greed is a byproduct of an illusional belief, which means that greed can be removed from the behavior of the human, within removing a limited belief and realizing self as mind, as how the mind functions with the physical body, a body that holds beliefs as words, and within this to realize that the delusion spoken as words on earth as beliefs, have become the voice of the program of separation from life that is causing sufferingon earth, and thus an earth that is not moving as life, equal and one. Step beyond the veil of word play, realign yourself and stand to realign this world, into and as what is best for all absolutely, in totality, to bring heaven on earth, as it should be and was the gift given, for all as one as equal, here.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Day 321 "Don't Look, Don't Look" back chat
How and when did I begin to separate into the fixation as fear, seeking the good “feeling” of validation, mimicking the adults?
So, in not looking, in the dictate of “ don’t look” I have to question why such thought would even exist. I mean why be this, why be a “not looking” at what is here? This in and of itself is a red flag. Life would not be an action of “don’t look”! Life would be live, look, understand, exist, be.
Thus, when I do not look here, when the voice in and as my mind says, “don’t look” I need to stop and to breath, and to slow myself down and to stand within and as what is physically real, to look at the words present , to realize where the words are of ambiguity, where they lack a defining of what is here as what is best for all, where such words disinform what is actually physically happening with the work of the hands of men, as this is what is real, to be and become self responsible within and as what exists within actions taken and the consequence to and towards the actual physical, to put an end to limited self interest, which is the interest of money moving to a few, to maintain an illusory existence in separation from common sense of the actual sustaining physical world.
This is to become the living word , the equal and one consideration of the actual physical world, and how what we allow and accept has consequences in the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to listen to a voice, in and as my mind that says, “ don’t look, don’t look”.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as allowing myself to constrict into “ don’t look”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being punished, to fear being bullied, and to run from this into and as verifying not being punished through getting attention that validates myself, within and as having the focus and attention from others being one that lacks an action of punishment, where the validation is a “feel good” energetic experience, as I have “won” the absence of punishment through interaction with another, as my parents for example, of having communication that is not of punishment, as blame and spite and name calling and spanking, where the communication is praise, of “light weight” “happy face” conversation, vapid, of verbal diarrhea, this that avoids looking here, realizing what is here as self as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I allow myself to “not look” I then have accepted the consequence of participating within ignorance of what is best for all as the physical, and within this non-looking to maintain my separation, my survival is a laziness within being equal and one with and as the real actual physical world,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this, drive myself to ensure that I will not be discovered and punished, cast out and ignored through non compliance of entering limited conversations, which I enter to survive, and then become addicted to the praise and friendship in and as energy as the positive feeling where I then seek this attention in self validation, thus making/allowing/justifying the separation from myself as common sense of the actual physical world as myself and how I am here within and as the physical as I include the physical as myself, from a starting point of fearing punishment and an action to ensure that punishment is kept at bay, distant, where what must be realized is that in fearing punishment, an action, a state of being as energy exists, in seeing only punishment and not looking in common sense at what is actually physically here, and within this to not become blame and spite and finger pointing, but to look and to direct self responsibly within and as what is best for all, including the physical, the ecology and the economy being equal and one on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become comfortable within this seeking of praise to “feel good” within and as energy as mind, in separation from looking here, being here, speaking in common sense, within realizing ecology is equal and one to economy, meaning the physical is what is real, as this is life, where this “feel good” is an avoidance tactic in looking at what is common sense, and a reaction to fear of being punished for questioning the limited self interest, ambiguity and disinformation presented within a design of inequality as self interest lacking awareness of the actual sustaining real physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is the confusion many children face, where this confusion is an inability to speak up in common sense, of the physical as a vocabulary has not developed, this which is used by the present system to maintain a belief that self interest, as those on the top of the pyramid cannot see anything else but their existence of comfort and believe this to be the way it is, by some illusory belief in a divine right, which is a total disconnect from physical reality, so evident in the state of the earth within the amount of poverty, sexual abuse, starvation and damage to the environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous within and as this, which is my self not slowing down and using common sense within and as deconstructing what is unacceptable, which will take the physical action of many, thus the idea of a super hero is an illusion, as we must all stand and be self responsible, which means walking through what self has accepted and allowed as mind as separation from common sense of the substance of life, as what this physical world is one and equal to and as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to avoid facing my own separations from and as myself as life here, into and as mind, to exist within and as a fear of being shut out, within and as speaking up in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in avoiding here, in fearing to speak up, I allowed myself to become righteous about issues separate from myself with which to be righteous, instead of walking in common sense here, with every breath, all of this a way to justify my own immediate fear of facing the bully in and as the mind, as I had found a comfortable way to keep the bully of “don’t look” at bay.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to face the systemic allowance of a dis-regard for life, a non-looking at life as the physical, I as myself must realize my own separations from common sense here and the character in validation protection and defense through seeking praise to establish security as ignoring what is here in common sense, to avoid confrontation and discord to and towards what does not make sense, what is of ambiguity and dis-information , to see realize and understand that the crime is to not point out what is in separation from looking in common sense of what is here in totality, this physical world being life.
I commit myself to, when and as i become a sense of fear, as a sense of falling, within and as coming from my solar plexus area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to not allow myself to become this sense of falling, of fear, and within this to begin to practice becoming self responsible and self directed within and as common sense, standing before reaction within and as my mind, and without as the voice of fear as separation from common sense, and I look here, practice looking here, taking the words that are presented here, and bring them back into and as being a living word in practical common sense interest within and as what is best for all, here.
I commit myself to walking one step at a time within practicing facing this fear that has a voice that is “ don’t look, don’t look” with a thought that in not looking I will appear to “fit in” with the status quo, which will end, if I continue, with a life not having been lived, as less was the stance taken to ensure survival, instead of self becoming equal and one to and as the living word, this being self living in equal consideration of all life, as life being the value, self living equal and one here without value judgements of more than and less than, and instead looking at what is here in practical common sense, where even the movements and structure of men can be seen realized and understood.
So, in not looking, in the dictate of “ don’t look” I have to question why such thought would even exist. I mean why be this, why be a “not looking” at what is here? This in and of itself is a red flag. Life would not be an action of “don’t look”! Life would be live, look, understand, exist, be.
Thus, when I do not look here, when the voice in and as my mind says, “don’t look” I need to stop and to breath, and to slow myself down and to stand within and as what is physically real, to look at the words present , to realize where the words are of ambiguity, where they lack a defining of what is here as what is best for all, where such words disinform what is actually physically happening with the work of the hands of men, as this is what is real, to be and become self responsible within and as what exists within actions taken and the consequence to and towards the actual physical, to put an end to limited self interest, which is the interest of money moving to a few, to maintain an illusory existence in separation from common sense of the actual sustaining physical world.
This is to become the living word , the equal and one consideration of the actual physical world, and how what we allow and accept has consequences in the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to listen to a voice, in and as my mind that says, “ don’t look, don’t look”.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as allowing myself to constrict into “ don’t look”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being punished, to fear being bullied, and to run from this into and as verifying not being punished through getting attention that validates myself, within and as having the focus and attention from others being one that lacks an action of punishment, where the validation is a “feel good” energetic experience, as I have “won” the absence of punishment through interaction with another, as my parents for example, of having communication that is not of punishment, as blame and spite and name calling and spanking, where the communication is praise, of “light weight” “happy face” conversation, vapid, of verbal diarrhea, this that avoids looking here, realizing what is here as self as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I allow myself to “not look” I then have accepted the consequence of participating within ignorance of what is best for all as the physical, and within this non-looking to maintain my separation, my survival is a laziness within being equal and one with and as the real actual physical world,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this, drive myself to ensure that I will not be discovered and punished, cast out and ignored through non compliance of entering limited conversations, which I enter to survive, and then become addicted to the praise and friendship in and as energy as the positive feeling where I then seek this attention in self validation, thus making/allowing/justifying the separation from myself as common sense of the actual physical world as myself and how I am here within and as the physical as I include the physical as myself, from a starting point of fearing punishment and an action to ensure that punishment is kept at bay, distant, where what must be realized is that in fearing punishment, an action, a state of being as energy exists, in seeing only punishment and not looking in common sense at what is actually physically here, and within this to not become blame and spite and finger pointing, but to look and to direct self responsibly within and as what is best for all, including the physical, the ecology and the economy being equal and one on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become comfortable within this seeking of praise to “feel good” within and as energy as mind, in separation from looking here, being here, speaking in common sense, within realizing ecology is equal and one to economy, meaning the physical is what is real, as this is life, where this “feel good” is an avoidance tactic in looking at what is common sense, and a reaction to fear of being punished for questioning the limited self interest, ambiguity and disinformation presented within a design of inequality as self interest lacking awareness of the actual sustaining real physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is the confusion many children face, where this confusion is an inability to speak up in common sense, of the physical as a vocabulary has not developed, this which is used by the present system to maintain a belief that self interest, as those on the top of the pyramid cannot see anything else but their existence of comfort and believe this to be the way it is, by some illusory belief in a divine right, which is a total disconnect from physical reality, so evident in the state of the earth within the amount of poverty, sexual abuse, starvation and damage to the environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become righteous within and as this, which is my self not slowing down and using common sense within and as deconstructing what is unacceptable, which will take the physical action of many, thus the idea of a super hero is an illusion, as we must all stand and be self responsible, which means walking through what self has accepted and allowed as mind as separation from common sense of the substance of life, as what this physical world is one and equal to and as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to avoid facing my own separations from and as myself as life here, into and as mind, to exist within and as a fear of being shut out, within and as speaking up in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in avoiding here, in fearing to speak up, I allowed myself to become righteous about issues separate from myself with which to be righteous, instead of walking in common sense here, with every breath, all of this a way to justify my own immediate fear of facing the bully in and as the mind, as I had found a comfortable way to keep the bully of “don’t look” at bay.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to face the systemic allowance of a dis-regard for life, a non-looking at life as the physical, I as myself must realize my own separations from common sense here and the character in validation protection and defense through seeking praise to establish security as ignoring what is here in common sense, to avoid confrontation and discord to and towards what does not make sense, what is of ambiguity and dis-information , to see realize and understand that the crime is to not point out what is in separation from looking in common sense of what is here in totality, this physical world being life.
I commit myself to, when and as i become a sense of fear, as a sense of falling, within and as coming from my solar plexus area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to not allow myself to become this sense of falling, of fear, and within this to begin to practice becoming self responsible and self directed within and as common sense, standing before reaction within and as my mind, and without as the voice of fear as separation from common sense, and I look here, practice looking here, taking the words that are presented here, and bring them back into and as being a living word in practical common sense interest within and as what is best for all, here.
I commit myself to walking one step at a time within practicing facing this fear that has a voice that is “ don’t look, don’t look” with a thought that in not looking I will appear to “fit in” with the status quo, which will end, if I continue, with a life not having been lived, as less was the stance taken to ensure survival, instead of self becoming equal and one to and as the living word, this being self living in equal consideration of all life, as life being the value, self living equal and one here without value judgements of more than and less than, and instead looking at what is here in practical common sense, where even the movements and structure of men can be seen realized and understood.
Day 320 The quieting of disgust
It has been interesting to walk this sheen, this character, this movement into fear, as what disgust really is an allowance of as what I am/become. To have walked this sometimes subtle habit, and a habit it is, seemingly commonplace, yet once noticed, and caught as what I “go into” as a personification and stopped, using breath to ground myself, to not allow this, allows a inkling of remaining here, seeing here. Here, takes on more depth, more movement, more discernment within what is here being something that moves instead of seeming like a labeled thing - so to speak.
Yet, i realize that under this is more fear, and this fear disables this discernment, this seeing of what is here, this actual seeing of life, here, so vital, how much have i allowed myself to miss in becoming fear, petrifying myself within a distortion that is stagnant?
Which would mean that creating fear on this planet, is really a crime, a crime so absolute, I actually have the thought at this moment, that to become aware of life, which I have not realized, is going to realize the shame of what has been accepted and allowed by men believing that wealth defines existence, when the real wealth is becoming equal and one with and as the very expression of life.
What I find now what comes up a lot , is a fear of punishment. Which is a fear of death, yet to not remove fear is death, to chose not to discern what is here and how here functions and moves, is to die. Thus to not stand and support a system that supports all life as the value is a crime. The shadow of the elite, and the presentation of knowledgeand information that is ambiguous and unclear, limited, partial, is a reflection of disinformation for them as well, as a living shadow existence is not living, because in seeing life, in realizing life, there would be no fear, only a desire to become one and equal to and as life, here.
The only choice is to turn and face fear. It is the only way out. And one has to do this alone. No one can do this for us, we must do this alone. A system that allows this, as anequal money system, would allow so many who struggle so absolutely, the opportunity to stop and look at walk into life, to get this planet in order, the order of life being the value.
So, is this reaction as disgust, masking a fear of punishment from childhood.
I would sit and listen to my mother, as this was a way to placate her so I would not be punished. And I was disgusted with myself for doing this, and I want to say that my mother was disgusted with herself for what she accepted and allowed, a sense that my mother was running from her own self denial, being the want and need for attention in place of facing her self. So it was like catering to something that was dirty and being disgusted because in doing this one protected oneself from punishment. Sitting and listening to my mother was like being caught in a trap, yet at the same time the trap was a respite from the alternative which was punishment.
And as a child, I did not have the means to communicate this, so silence, and listening to wait it out.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear punishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe, as I am here at this moment as an adult, to blame myself for not standing up within that past moment and to judgemyself here as that, as a less than for accepting and allowing, without speaking up, the behaviors of another, to avoid punishment, where I probably did not have the worlds to speak, and even if I did, because I was a child, more than likely would not have been heard, as the program of my mother was that children were seen and not heard, which was the program of many adults at that time, and still is.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as not having the strength to stand and communicate based on a past experience where I was a small childand could not make an adult hear me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up and looking here, to remain quiet within and as myself to avoid punishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up because i might not get things from my mother as in being special because I sat and listened without reaction, all the while sitting and listening to avoid being punished.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have avoided looking and instead to have become “waiting patiently” to occupy myself instead of looking at my mother, because looking at my mother meant watching her separate from herself into and as an avoidance of herself as she had chosen to become authoritative to organize her world and keep it under control, as a means of survival, this approach being a way and means of not looking here, as organizing everything and ordering everything, meant not looking at life, here, not seeing and realizing the movement of life here, this life so vast and alive, a world the adults did not move with, and punished should this be spoken of, a description of what was here, as fluid and moving here a type of shadow existence hidden in avoidance tactics known as characters of knowledge and information, the means and ways of being lazy in disciplining self with life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear describing here, as how here moves, which ironically is actually not too hard, but such would seem strange and other worldly should someone attempt to describe such to a stagnant entity disconnected from here in and as fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear describing consequence, to fear describing here, as life as something that moves, as this would also mean that lack of opportunity means the depression of life here, which the present system creates, a lack of life, as poverty in taking what sustains life, as a system of greed that is a state of stagnation by its nature that is a starting point of fear of loss, which is a separation from life.
i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear sharing life , as one time I took mice from the barn to show my mother and she flushed them down the toilet with a shriek, and I remember being shocked and horrified, and ashamed that I had brought the baby mice into show my mother, the reactions in the moment in the memory were numerous and I became overwhelmed.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within this as well, an anger that is embarrassment for not having discerned that this would be the reaction of my mother, thus my own anger is really shame, and thus a non-looking at what is here, as I had wanted attention and acknowledgement through the baby mice.
Why does this attention always seem to come up? it is like wanting to be good, and share, as thought sharing is a good thing, like what i am supposed to do. But this is a positivepolarity, thus what would initiate this seeking of a good? Simply not wanting to be punished? Had I learned a selective sharing as a way to stop punishment.
I do have a problem with seeking attention, and I react to others that I label as seeking attention - it is one of my pet peeves - so to speak.
Thus this is me, I become disgusted with seeking attention when I project this, see this, in others. It really is like I use this to not be attacked, to avoid punishment, to keep the enemy of punishment near. Like the saying keeping the enemy near. Hide from what is here. Don’t look now, you might be punished for looking.
I have a neighbor with whom I would speak and greet and chat with sometimes when we crossed paths. He has had a new girlfriend for a couple of years now. She is very loud and aggressive. One day we chatted, and he basically apologized for her behavior and said that she was too unstable and then looked at me. We no longer greet one another and chat, what we do when we notice one another is meet with our eyes, give a slight nod and that’s it. We cannot communicate any more than this, because any action that triggered the reactions this girlfriend is known to have ( she supposedly has a police record for this) are avoided. So, my neighbor and i no longer have the friendly neighborly chat. I have heard this woman go into a verbal tirade, so I am not really interested in facing one, thus I join in in the distant MO of greeting.
This is a fear of death, simplistically, I am afraid this woman is going to come and beat the shit out of me, because evidently she has done this. And she is a school teacher. Figure that one out. lol
To avoid this, is being a non-looking at here. It is like, well it is, as there is a voice in my head saying “ don’t look, don’t look, don’t look” again and again and again.
There is even a movie with Donald Sutherland called Don’t Look Now, and I remember it well, it kept me on the edge of my seat many a time.
This not wanting to look, which has come up with me before, no longer has this layer of disgust after having done forgiveness on this.
The behavior within disgust is to not look, and the fear is a fear of death and the correction is to breath and to slow down and to look at here, to stop being lazy and taking on the character of tribute to knowledge and information to entertain, where attention is an indication that I have successfully entertained myself away from looking at what is here as life. This seems a comfortable place. Un-fortune . But it is the only way out of fear.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Day 319 Distorted Capital is not Democracy
How can trade be free when what is traded is not at the true cost of production? How can a country with a greater population sell something to a smaller country at a cost that is subsidized by the greater populace of that larger country? Would this also not be an action of bullying life in another country? Would this not be a way to take control of that land, that other space on this earth where people that are the same as the people in the country of greater land mass? And why take control? If true costs were measured would there be any difference?
Would such an act be by design?
Would the people of this smaller country then have to search for work somewhere else, their abilities no longer needed because what they did was negated by the flooding of their land with a product that was not real, that was a false value? And then these people, with families were forced to travel to another land to work, without citizenship and thus without support, and thus abused into a labor for which they were not paid a living wage? Is this “free” trade? This is the free trade of life as a lack of consideration for life, planned, touted as innovation ( for a few) . This is abuse of life.
Power within heiarchy is a disease. It is a disease because it is so obsessed with itself that it no longer can see the life that is here, it can only see a judgement of more than, veiled behind an idea of democracy but the taking of capital in an obsessive desire for more, and this is the disease that separates, this state of being in separation from a consideration for all life. Such a beingness is diseased because it is not in ease with life, in respect of life. If it does not see the life that is here it is in a state of lack and cannot make decisions that are best for all because it no longer sees life.
This is what America has done with numerous countries around the world in a desire to have more, and the American people have supported this, through a presented belief that this is progress, that this is the development of democracy, and all the while what has really happened is that those who live in countries where products are sold at true cost lose their value and markets because a bully has cheated with pricing, and lying by omission behind a pretty curtain as words, known as free trade.
If children were told the truth about how the present system works what would they think? Would they react with shock and be incredulous? What would an American child do if they realized the corn they ate had created a scenario in another country that allowed a child, the same as them, to have a father working in an American meat producing plant where the meat was so toxic it caused finger nails to disintegrate, and then, that father was not even paid a decent wage?
This is the disease of power given to a few through control of money. A disconnect, a cognitive dissonance from realizing life is the value, thus there is obvious lack of ease on earth, and what exists on earth is a disease that just as the debt, grows bigger with every passing day.
This is democracy shrouded in capitalism, where the capital of earth is played with to serve self interest only, without regard for life. Within this, life has not evolved, what was once a feudal society kept in place with physical force is now kept in place with financial war. America has actually starved people to gain power over the capital of earth. This is an absolute ignorance of life, a suppression of life, a depressing of life. And the consequences are everywhere. The pollution, the poverty, the disease, the child sex slavery. The whole world is as much a participant, as not standing up is allowing and accepting as well. This system cannot continue. There is enough here to take care of all life, there is enough here to develop all life, there is enough here to realize that the value is life, and to support this.
I recently read that one could place every human on a piece of land the size of Texas and there would be enough land for everyone to have a plot of that land.
What if we actually looked at the numbers. Taking 7billion people and realizing the number of square feet of Texas and dividing that by 7 million, would this be true?
Texas area = 267339 X (5280)^2
= 7,452,732,672,000 sq.ft.
Population of world = 6,600,000,000.
Dividing area with population
1129.2 0192 s.ft./person.
There is enough earth here to support all of us in dignity
And in this, would it be realized how insane it is to actually have a system of capitalism where this freely given capital of earth was enough to ensure that all on earth lived in dignity?
I remember an article where a computer was given to some slum children who had no education, and they, within a matter of days found and solved answers to complex questions. The human is capable and able and willing to learn given the opportunity, thus it is lack of opportunity that causes ignorance, and obviously this is, within this system, managed by design. And this design that is in the shape of a pyramid must come to an end.
We know how to grow food working with this earth.
We know how to build products that last, thereby limiting the use of resource, and providing all with tools that allow an existence of dignity.
The only thing stopping this are the pictures presented on the TV screen and media that are in essence distortions of reality. The values inherent in what is presented misaligned with a practical life. What is practical and what is healthy does not allow a monetary profit. It really is that we are all accepting a grand illusion in separation from what is real in common sense of life and this earth. Our perceptive ability is more than capable of realizing what makes sense, yet the fury of fear of loss is advertised everywhere, and this state of fear distorts reality and in that distortion a belief is presented of another and better world that has only ever been presented with pictures, the pictures more enlightened with electricity running through pixels on a screen. And this is highly entertaining. A drug as much as alcohol and/or any other drug that brings a relief from fear of loss - such as sex. Are any of these things truly fulfilling? No.
Time to wake up and use common sense. We all have this sense, it is there behind the fear. Breath, slow down, investigate, stand as a collective and change the world to be what considers all life, what is best for all. There is enough space here. Do this for the children. Do this so our children can actually live healthy lives, and we can enjoy the expression that they are as life. Remove the disease as a lack of understanding self as life, as how the mind functions, learn to be the director of yourself as your gift as the physical body. Instead of existing as a stressed out frenzy in survival, learn to breath and actually slow down and become equal and one with and as the physical world to enjoy yourself as life, here. Equal Money. Equal Life, time to organize this world to support all life, as life is the value.
This land as earth belongs to life.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Day 318 The Innate sensibility of the human physical body and the image holder as the mind
There is a boy in this small town where I live that is aware of the animal life around him. One day he was at my home and a bat was flying around in my yard. I spoke up about the bat being out in the middle of the day, because it was not something I had seen, and he looked at me and said that it was a baby bat, and was out because it was just playing with itself in flying, in testing its wings. I was surprised that this boy had the awareness to even make such a remark, if the remark was correct or not. This boy was already introuble with the law, was already failing school, and was already taking someone’s credit card and buying lingerie on line for “girl friends” as the consumerist, sex maniac warp of reality embedded itself as the only directive that would become this boy as an adult. So, here was a boy with an awareness that had no value within a consumerist society, an awareness, a “noticing” of the world around him, that was being redirected into a limited view point, a limited obsession, a warped reality where somethings, some aspects of life were turned into huge things to run after, to obsess over, to become possessed with, deny other qualities that noticed values that were parts of this existence, that were expressions within this existence.
I watched a movie last night about family life. The concerns within the family were not in and of themselves something to be denied, but the focus on the interactions as therelationships and the wants, needs and desires of each individual in relation to what our consumerist market directs the human into and as. Emotional values become synonymous as self as entertainment lived as what we are, and each person within this further warping these already limited values believed to be real as all self is. Is this what develops friction in the family removing an ability to communicate. The validation sought within each person within this already warped scenario is simply a desire to have one’s warped obsessions and possession validated, fed, justified. Thus our movies, popular movies, are about relationships between humans in a bubble, an energetic one at that, so unstable because there is no real relationship to here. Our consumerist society promotes this, because what is created that can be sold, not only consumes how we focus ourselves, it also limits awareness, shuts it down. Meanwhile a few then control the very focus/expression of each person on this earth and do this control through fear as what they themselves exist as.. This really is messed up, and once realized so simplistic. When and if humanity woke up, the shock of accepted and allowed ignorance will be astounding. And who am I to speak in such a way, because I was/am the same. Some tiny thing happened that sensed, without an ability to express this ( which probably still needs work), that just stood back and had this “overview” thought that something was very messed up about existence. And really, it does not take much to realize this, we all know it.
What all this means is that mankind is able to sense the environment. It also means that man can be programmed. So, if we know man is capable of sensing the physical world in tandem with being able to be programmed, then we can begin to step back and really look at what we have accepted and allowed. To look at what is being programmed in, and what is happening to the physical world we are able to sense as what we are physically as a “tool” to sense this physical world. And this “tool” also has the capacity to hold pictures/movies that are pictographs of ideologies placed in image memorized, and the image can be a part made huge, a distortion, where limited aspects are what is fixated upon.
The question then is how to balance this, how do we equalize the sensing self, with this understanding - that is being used- that images - as memories are held within- that can compound to the extent they actually start directing us? How do we move from this separation into life alignment as the actual physical world around us? How is it that we function in directly sensing the physical in equal consideration because this is what we are and what is the real support of us? Any action or development of shutting down, creating ignorance as conditioned blindness/non-development beingness/focus, of men that does not place /include the tool of the human physical body as individual “sensor” of the actual physical earth into full “sensing ability” is a crime against life absolutely. The blame is ourselves as we are the ones as what we are -allowing pollution, habitat destruction, ecological destruction, this that is needed to support the physical world.
The answers are here right in front of us, even within our constitutions. We have placed the principle of “ for the common good” within many variations, and coupled with this the illusion of profit, of a more than and a less than, this concept in and as itself an illusion blind to life as the value, there can be no one thing that is a greater value than another. The ideology of profit is illusion placed onto this physical manifestation. Inequality creates the behaviors as what is here, as the physical world, as nature trying to compensate for the imbalance. We are the creators of here, thus we, the human, are the creators of the existent abuse on earth. The bodies, as the humans in power, who benefit within comfortable lives are merely the extreme of this ideology onto creation, and each of us are caught up in the illusion of our own demise because we have removed ourselves from ourselves as a physical tool that is of the same substance as the physical world. This tool is the gift of sensing the form as life in expression that is earth here. This is what is real, this is the “cutting edge” of life. There for, heaven and any “invisible” hand are the illusion, all imaginations that in essence manifest as a lack of communication.. Memories are memories, imagery, not real. No one has seen “god” because there is no god.
Our behaviors show us our ignorance. Blaming an object for the action an object on this earth moves as, will do nothing within realizing why what is here is moving as how here expresses itself, because everything that is here, as how here is in expression, is due to what systemic confines are placed that create how here as earth is within movement. It is like trying to turn the electricity on in a house from a broken switch, or a malfunctioning switch and then blaming that switch and asking the one singular switch to “fix” itself. Can’t be done. Impossible. That switch needs the awareness within the sensibility of the environment, to reform it and connect is to the whole. It is to understand our extreme individuality promoting consumerist profit based ethos limits life insight and we do not see our own habit as this. A misdirected focus into a limited awareness, and all the while, the human, as a physical expression, as a tool can become aware of so much more, to the point where this awareness can be itself and allow the parts of this physical world to be themselves as well. How can one immediately grasp this if illusion is a taught reality? I mean , why are we filing into steepled buildings to beg to a vapid form unseen, in denial of a “part” of existence as the physical? The real question is why does equality not exist, in all common sense? The lack of communication shows us our resistance, our separation our loss of sensibility. Blame shows us our separation, spite shows us our separation. Conditional giving shows us our separations. Equality does not deny order, but it does reveal a present order that is based on division into limitation as a control as more than and less than which is judgement, as forcing into one size fits all within brackets of class, race, culture, that become obsessive within how a woman should be, how a house should look, how resource should move, resource serving only parts of existence.
TIme to stop, time to bring ourselves back into realizing the physical world and aligning ourselves equal and one with the physical, to remove the projections, to realize the mindas image maker, emotions thoughts and feelings as the compound of incessant thought that are ideologies describing a part and not an actual physical sensibility of life, because only physical and self interaction can determine what is real. A thought is just a picture and profit for a few is an ideological picture as mind in separation from life. The illusory third, an imagi-nation dividing life from itself.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Day 317 Immediately Desiring Help: A Past Movement for Attention
I have an early memory of myself wrapping my arms arms around my father. And within this memory I have pictures, as memories of experiences I had in school, as a teacher, with children. One memory an action from my past as a comfort/positive , and another a memory of judgement, blame and irritation towards the behaviors of some children, hereI am having a picture in and as my mind, of a child with a constant need for an insulin shot always asking for permission in class, which is a form of attention seeking, a catch twenty two because the child cannot be denied or blamed but somehow the behavior represents the cause of the disease, and looking at this means one has to look at oneself, thus the irritation. All of this seeming confusing, but the layers of ignorance of this overwhelm. But, this has to be cleaned up, or clarity cannot be reached. The problem must be realized in totality, and the solved. The rewards would be an absence of this behavior, and thus, more time spent in learning, in being here, in equalizing self here, to move here, in clarity with ease. Ease has a lightness, ease is not reactive in blame or spite, ease makes no judgement.
What did I run from as a child into the arms in and as comfort of my father? As the stories told in my family were that my mother did not enjoy taking care of babies. And early memories of my mother were of me sitting and listening, waiting for the allowance to leave. This was not questioned because the consequence of not listening was to much to bear.
This desire for attention.
So, I woke up this morning and my house smelled like gas. I went to the stove and checked the burners. The pilot to the oven was out. Then I lit one of the burners. The flame was really small. Immediately, My mind started to imagine worse case scenario. I had to start to look at what was here, in common sense. That solved I noticed this voice in my mind wanting to immediately call a male friend for help.
What was curious about this was that for a long time, when my children were young, I did not call a male, it is just that there is one around all the time now. So, i stopped and realized that what needed to be done I could do. I have not had the gas filled in two months, so it is simply empty, the pressure is down because the gas tank is empty, and I realized the last time the company filled the tank, their tank on their truck ran out, so the note from the gas man had said he had not fully filled the tank. The company exists with an internal schedule, and as I have found, interruptions in schedules tend not to be remembered. Thus I have run out and the normal fill dates are not aligned with “have fill jobs.” I have learned that interruptions if the “norm” tend not to be noted within systems. Such, causes glitches in the computer programs. lol ( just realize this can be used !)
So, I had to speak self forgiveness on this to stop this desire in and as the mind, which was based on a fear as an idea, as a habit learned from my past. There are steps to clarify something. one simply walks them. And then, if one does not have the money, and/or if the ground beneath one has been taken by some government acting in support of a corporation’s self interest in profit before life, then a human, a person cannot stand and be self responsible, because this ability has been taken from oneself as a living being. And the offerings within such are a sequestering into limited actions, repetitive actions that force a “disnature”, a distance from nature, the anti-life as the hubris of men mad with an idea of control, having separated from life into consciousness as mind only.
I must realize that I can be self responsible, and also that what has been allowed on this earth has come to determine life. I must stand without this desire to “wrap my arms around a comfort” as it is elusive and blind. How I came to be such a movement i cannot at this point remember. I just have another memory of turning in mid play and looking at a tree, like I am turning from one conversation to another, leaving one behind. But even this has a diminutive story within my family. My great grandmother would - as the story goes- spend time in “ the woods” and was considered spacy in some way, and ended up in an insane asylum as this is what the “victorians” did with women who were not the “norm” so to speak. Thus, even this story within me is an idea, a memory as knowledge and information.
I am here, I breath, I look at what is here in common sense and realize how here, as the physical functions, realizing there is no one value greater than another and that ordering values as more than and less than is a self interested act in separation from life, a heaviness creation in and as energy, as consciousness in separation from life.
Just try asking someone to slow down and be specific, you will notice this is the last thing wanted to be done by the mind. The reactions will be of short temper, the nature of a bully, desperately denying and pushing the ignorance of limited ideology. And even within this, a reaction of anger towards this is just more of the same because in the end what must be done is all consequence as all actions accepted and allowed must be looked at, to bring ourselves back, myself back, to here, to become equal and one to and as the physical, with a clear substance of self as life, moving in equality and oneness with and as what is physically here. The memory device as mind, as consciousness, is a “third wheel” separating, warping intimacy with and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, looking at what is here in common sense and instead immediately wanting to pass on a story of doom and gloom to another, to waste myself as life, into and as fear in allowing myself to become separate from how here actually physically functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become e-motions of separation and self abdication, not seeing realizing and understanding that this reaction into and as fairy tales of loss, are of no substance as they are based on a sense of loss only without practical application within and as looking at what is here, as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the extent to which I immediately go into role play, as the dictates of a society constructed by men, that has not in fact created an existence that supports all life, as is so obviously evident on earth at the moment, where there have been best selling books written by psychologists who have an education and practiced their “art” for 30 or so years, and then write a book at the end of their professional life where in the opening of the book they state that despite all their knowledge and information, they have not managed to help anyone, a clear indication that knowledge and information without practical application has no ability to solve problems, thus all education has done is developed an ability to use words within limited vocabularies without any practice within and as physical awareness as in how the physical world actually functions, as how the mind, as memory actually functions despite the fact that memory can be consuming to the point where is determines behavior, and this in conjunction with a system that does not provide the basic necessities of life, and even has created/allowed -as all of us- a system that turns lack into self interested profit as what has happened with the incarceration/prison system in the supposedly “freest” country on earth, America, where prisons are paid for by the public, and the prisoners make 100% of helmets used for a war economy, a lot of electrical appliances, and numerous other things, for less than minimum wage, where such prisoners have not had an opportunity at an education, or proper nutrition within a system that feeds the poor refined flours in tandem with vegetable oils that are not meant for the tropical environment of the human physical body, and also filled with sugar, and addictive drug that should be banned, as even the production of this uses too much water, thereby wasting and polluting earth’s freely given resources, the consequences of which are destroying earth and allowing the behavior that created this to become more extreme as the nature of greed only grows which is evident within the nature of a debt based system, thus what humans have accepted and allowed is going to get so big that it will be “in your face” before you know what has happened, and then at this point - if it is not too late- perhaps the human will finally realize that the physical world is what is real, and that anything that does not consider all life as the value is a crime against life, that which created the abuse of life presently existent on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within and as this, as this is not going to walk a solution.
I commit myself to slow myself down and to breath, to see, realize and understand that all emotions and feelings that I allow myself to exist as, that all thoughts of seeking an ear for my fears, is myself in self abdication in and as life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that knowledge and information is useless without the physical experience of practical application to see realize and understand equal and one to and as how the physical world practically functions within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to immediately go into some fairy tale fantasy when and as I must face what is here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding how much I have accepted and allowed role play as the emotional/feeling responses within and as myself here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding constriction and tension within and as my human physical body, where my breath constricts in the slightest way, to see, realize and understand how this is myself allowing a movement of myself into limitation and thus separation from practical common sense of here, where if I remain in breath here, equal and one, I can practice looking here within remaining within and as a state of ease, realizing that it is this state of ease, as a seemingly vulnerable state that I can realize a gentle movement within and as myself being stable without friction and conflict, this which will take practice as this equality and oneness with and as the physical has not been taught and the system without as a reflection of human separation from and as life, presently determines physical life on earth, which must be realigned within and as supporting all life as life being the value, before the profit of a few.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that the moment I become blame, spite, irritation I am projecting an idea of cause and effect in separation from myself here, abdicating myself responsibility in common sense of what is physically here, even within slowing down and looking at the constructed laws of men, and instead of reacting to such walls as constructs of attempting to control life, it is to see, realize and understand how this maze of law has separated itself from the principle of what is for the commongood before profit, as each acceptance of this in ignorance of life must stop and look at what is here in common sense of what is here. in detail, to see, realize and understand accepted and allowed ambiguities.
I commit myself to breathing, to walking equality and oneness within a practical looking at what is here, and how I am moving within and as myself in terms of emotions, thoughts and feelings that are heavy with conflict and friction, as a separation from myself in and as being at ease with and as life here.
DIP Lite The course to equality and oneness with and as life, here.
What did I run from as a child into the arms in and as comfort of my father? As the stories told in my family were that my mother did not enjoy taking care of babies. And early memories of my mother were of me sitting and listening, waiting for the allowance to leave. This was not questioned because the consequence of not listening was to much to bear.
This desire for attention.
So, I woke up this morning and my house smelled like gas. I went to the stove and checked the burners. The pilot to the oven was out. Then I lit one of the burners. The flame was really small. Immediately, My mind started to imagine worse case scenario. I had to start to look at what was here, in common sense. That solved I noticed this voice in my mind wanting to immediately call a male friend for help.
What was curious about this was that for a long time, when my children were young, I did not call a male, it is just that there is one around all the time now. So, i stopped and realized that what needed to be done I could do. I have not had the gas filled in two months, so it is simply empty, the pressure is down because the gas tank is empty, and I realized the last time the company filled the tank, their tank on their truck ran out, so the note from the gas man had said he had not fully filled the tank. The company exists with an internal schedule, and as I have found, interruptions in schedules tend not to be remembered. Thus I have run out and the normal fill dates are not aligned with “have fill jobs.” I have learned that interruptions if the “norm” tend not to be noted within systems. Such, causes glitches in the computer programs. lol ( just realize this can be used !)
So, I had to speak self forgiveness on this to stop this desire in and as the mind, which was based on a fear as an idea, as a habit learned from my past. There are steps to clarify something. one simply walks them. And then, if one does not have the money, and/or if the ground beneath one has been taken by some government acting in support of a corporation’s self interest in profit before life, then a human, a person cannot stand and be self responsible, because this ability has been taken from oneself as a living being. And the offerings within such are a sequestering into limited actions, repetitive actions that force a “disnature”, a distance from nature, the anti-life as the hubris of men mad with an idea of control, having separated from life into consciousness as mind only.
I must realize that I can be self responsible, and also that what has been allowed on this earth has come to determine life. I must stand without this desire to “wrap my arms around a comfort” as it is elusive and blind. How I came to be such a movement i cannot at this point remember. I just have another memory of turning in mid play and looking at a tree, like I am turning from one conversation to another, leaving one behind. But even this has a diminutive story within my family. My great grandmother would - as the story goes- spend time in “ the woods” and was considered spacy in some way, and ended up in an insane asylum as this is what the “victorians” did with women who were not the “norm” so to speak. Thus, even this story within me is an idea, a memory as knowledge and information.
I am here, I breath, I look at what is here in common sense and realize how here, as the physical functions, realizing there is no one value greater than another and that ordering values as more than and less than is a self interested act in separation from life, a heaviness creation in and as energy, as consciousness in separation from life.
Just try asking someone to slow down and be specific, you will notice this is the last thing wanted to be done by the mind. The reactions will be of short temper, the nature of a bully, desperately denying and pushing the ignorance of limited ideology. And even within this, a reaction of anger towards this is just more of the same because in the end what must be done is all consequence as all actions accepted and allowed must be looked at, to bring ourselves back, myself back, to here, to become equal and one to and as the physical, with a clear substance of self as life, moving in equality and oneness with and as what is physically here. The memory device as mind, as consciousness, is a “third wheel” separating, warping intimacy with and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here, looking at what is here in common sense and instead immediately wanting to pass on a story of doom and gloom to another, to waste myself as life, into and as fear in allowing myself to become separate from how here actually physically functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become e-motions of separation and self abdication, not seeing realizing and understanding that this reaction into and as fairy tales of loss, are of no substance as they are based on a sense of loss only without practical application within and as looking at what is here, as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the extent to which I immediately go into role play, as the dictates of a society constructed by men, that has not in fact created an existence that supports all life, as is so obviously evident on earth at the moment, where there have been best selling books written by psychologists who have an education and practiced their “art” for 30 or so years, and then write a book at the end of their professional life where in the opening of the book they state that despite all their knowledge and information, they have not managed to help anyone, a clear indication that knowledge and information without practical application has no ability to solve problems, thus all education has done is developed an ability to use words within limited vocabularies without any practice within and as physical awareness as in how the physical world actually functions, as how the mind, as memory actually functions despite the fact that memory can be consuming to the point where is determines behavior, and this in conjunction with a system that does not provide the basic necessities of life, and even has created/allowed -as all of us- a system that turns lack into self interested profit as what has happened with the incarceration/prison system in the supposedly “freest” country on earth, America, where prisons are paid for by the public, and the prisoners make 100% of helmets used for a war economy, a lot of electrical appliances, and numerous other things, for less than minimum wage, where such prisoners have not had an opportunity at an education, or proper nutrition within a system that feeds the poor refined flours in tandem with vegetable oils that are not meant for the tropical environment of the human physical body, and also filled with sugar, and addictive drug that should be banned, as even the production of this uses too much water, thereby wasting and polluting earth’s freely given resources, the consequences of which are destroying earth and allowing the behavior that created this to become more extreme as the nature of greed only grows which is evident within the nature of a debt based system, thus what humans have accepted and allowed is going to get so big that it will be “in your face” before you know what has happened, and then at this point - if it is not too late- perhaps the human will finally realize that the physical world is what is real, and that anything that does not consider all life as the value is a crime against life, that which created the abuse of life presently existent on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry within and as this, as this is not going to walk a solution.
I commit myself to slow myself down and to breath, to see, realize and understand that all emotions and feelings that I allow myself to exist as, that all thoughts of seeking an ear for my fears, is myself in self abdication in and as life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that knowledge and information is useless without the physical experience of practical application to see realize and understand equal and one to and as how the physical world practically functions within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to immediately go into some fairy tale fantasy when and as I must face what is here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding how much I have accepted and allowed role play as the emotional/feeling responses within and as myself here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding constriction and tension within and as my human physical body, where my breath constricts in the slightest way, to see, realize and understand how this is myself allowing a movement of myself into limitation and thus separation from practical common sense of here, where if I remain in breath here, equal and one, I can practice looking here within remaining within and as a state of ease, realizing that it is this state of ease, as a seemingly vulnerable state that I can realize a gentle movement within and as myself being stable without friction and conflict, this which will take practice as this equality and oneness with and as the physical has not been taught and the system without as a reflection of human separation from and as life, presently determines physical life on earth, which must be realigned within and as supporting all life as life being the value, before the profit of a few.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that the moment I become blame, spite, irritation I am projecting an idea of cause and effect in separation from myself here, abdicating myself responsibility in common sense of what is physically here, even within slowing down and looking at the constructed laws of men, and instead of reacting to such walls as constructs of attempting to control life, it is to see, realize and understand how this maze of law has separated itself from the principle of what is for the commongood before profit, as each acceptance of this in ignorance of life must stop and look at what is here in common sense of what is here. in detail, to see, realize and understand accepted and allowed ambiguities.
I commit myself to breathing, to walking equality and oneness within a practical looking at what is here, and how I am moving within and as myself in terms of emotions, thoughts and feelings that are heavy with conflict and friction, as a separation from myself in and as being at ease with and as life here.
DIP Lite The course to equality and oneness with and as life, here.
Day 316 What are memories? What is consciousness? A bubble of separation?
When I react to what is said about another within and as being a judgement, as in not looking at the details of what is here becoming equal and one to them, without making any assumptions or value judgement, looking at the values for what they are and the forms of what is here, how disconnected humans are from what is happening to life on this planet, life that is the same in all of us here, all being everything, it is easier to see how reaction is a blind spot, where all one exists as is separation from actual physical reality.
All justifications are in fact self interest in not wanting to look, in not wanting to see, in not picking self up and becoming life of absolute compassion, looking at as manyconsequences as one is able to grasp, through investigation. This done within asking questions, until a point is reached where a realization exists that any suffering is self in a state of disease, as self as life cannot be here as life, until all life is here, as life, meaning self directive. Self directive means no judgement, no sense of one thing as being more than another, and is anything realizing that an emotional reaction is a disconnect from self direction, which is a disconnect from life here.
I looked at someone today and said to them, “You are a resonant being” and they laughed. Then i asked them if they had any memories, and what memories were, how were they held onto, what would this quality be. So, the fact that we have memories means we are able to resonate with imagery, and imagery can have values attached to it. Ever heard of the word “ nostalgia”? And would the emotions and feelings attached to memories not be considered “good or bad”? And would not soldiers suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome be the effects of horrific experiences/memories caused by war? This is to say a memory is a resonance within us. And depending on the memory, there is a value of good energy or bad energy, thus the memory can have a value as positive or negative.
Then, to take this even further, why would a memory be needed that triggers either a good nostalgic feeling or a bad traumatic feeling? And why have such an occupation as self as life here on earth? Is this necessary and does this allow one to actually be here, I mean why wallow in a “good” memory when one could be here actually being such an experience as what one lives in every moment, meaning directing oneself here on earth without the need for a postcard as a resonance from the past? And why would a trauma exist with energetic emotions of fear and terror? What would create such a thing, especially knowing that memory exists! And if that memory is one that is unbearable, why has it not been seen in common sense that the action that created the memory is an unbearable state of being, and therefor unacceptable, why program such? And if such programming exists, what would happen if the absence of traumatic program were the presence of all of us?
Are our memories showing us where we have run to values, and as such removed ourselves from here, as what exists on earth is an actual removal from looking at here, because for each of us, we would not want the atrocities that exist to happen to us; can’t imagine any of us wanting a child born with horrible deformities such as the ones caused by depleted uranium used in the Irag war. Not one of us able to read this blog would want this, so how and why do we allow this to exist? And would not images of such haunt us? And would this not then be a memory, a resonance as a picture made of wavelengths and vibes and pixels embedded within our flesh, and if this is what happens to the human, then would it not be for the human to ensure that such does not exist on earth, so that what is here is cared for and “clean” of any potential resonance that causes trauma and/or a reaction of disgust/shame/horror/pain/disbelief, and many more?
Even if we wanted to hide from this, and believe that such should not be posted on FB, then can this be a solution? I mean, such abuse exists and it is not going to go away.What if it is like the debt that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, that is the outcome of usury, that which we were warned against and Jesus was “shut up” for exposing - and others as well?
If the human body is seen as a machine, one that holds resonances, and is given the gift of life but abuses this, all consequence of accepted and allowed actions that are not supportive of life - something that can in no way go unnoticed because it is not in ACCORD with life, , because the separation from what supports all life remains resonant within because it was an action that had not considered all life, then what would remain that shows the separation? Would it be memories that are values of supposed “good” and what then would happen as well, as this is how the machine works, memories of “bad” events are also embedded, as this was the actions allowed on earth, and as the actions this is what is mirrored within? So, what we are, is what we become within, what we allow on earth is what we become within. What we create as the voice on earth, as the actions we allow, is what we become, what we mirror within.
We can run and hide from this, we can run and hide in the good memories, but eventually there is no escape, because meanwhile, the physical world has not reached an expression where what becomes resonant within as the human has no polarity of a good or a bad, and there would be no need to have a memory to be something pulled up to entertain oneself, because here, as the physical world would be absolutely fulfilling in and as existing one and equal to and as life. There would not even be the need for a separate “heaven”, or an alternate reality, because here, would be the sounding of life, absolutely, no need for a re-sound, or even if there were such a thing, it would be as what memory is, a map of what is here, to then be used to perhaps help learn to be here, equal and one to and as the physical, all life equal here, within and without, above and below.
The can be no escape from this. If we take the time to look at this, it makes so much sense, it can be no other way.
Thus, the present system without, is a reflection of the system we have allowed within. it is a system of abdication., it is a system where we believe that a value makes us, defines us, but this cannot be, because this is just a state of being, it is not being the action of being, accepting self as experiencing life, so because we feared losing one “state” we held onto this, and within this became an action of self interest in relation to a value, thus dividing life into fixed states, so to speak, and no longer moving as life.
This is judgement, believing one thing to be more than another. A me-more eeeeeee ride. The starting point of fear of loss, as a negative, moving into a justification to create a happiness, and thus a positive “idea” around the me-more eeeeeeee joy ride, in separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.
So, the hierarchy on earth is a reflection of this separation, and we are all grabbing resources to allow a few to have more, and others to have nothing, and in our fear of loss we are destroying this earth, as we grab resource in self interest, so we can pass our limited values down generation after generation, as we have come to believe that these limited values define us, and that these values have some kind of meaning, and that all our knowledge and information is taken in in separation from life, because it is used in justifying the more than, the state of ourselves holding a value instead of life being the value, where the expressions of life and all the relationships of expression, the ways of expression as the forms of expression, as what is here on earth, being the experience of being as the value and learning to realize this totally as self, to move as this, to be one with this, thus there would be no death. There would be transformation, expansion in awareness.
This makes so much sense with what has been said to us, as the words of Christ, which were so impressive they could not be denied, a religion was built around them. And then this religion, built by men in separation from life, was used to limit and control, so that some hierarchy could exist dimensionally, this unseen by the eyes of men. A whole existence in separation from life. A system we have all accepted and allowed in abdication of life. Our memories showing us how we are not equal to life. Our memories our idol worship, as consciousness, as mind, as image made huge, a resonance into and as energy, as the division of values made more than and less than, stagnant, unmoving, and thus destructive and devolving instead of living. Earth is showing us our separation and thus abuse we allow on earth, the consequence of our accepted and allowed separation. Memories as collections of thoughts singularly lived again and again compound into emotions and feelings, the consequence of perpetual separation from life, from the giving of ourselves as life equal and one within and as what is best for all as the actual physical world.
Thus the systemic inequality, as profit, this belief system placed next to the principle of the understanding and need to do what is best for all, is the limiting “spoke in the wheel that is life,” remove this, and give as one would like to receive, and life can begin, and the resonance of what we are, will equalize itself to and as life, being here, as it is only here that we can actually be, no need to move and wallow in memory, because here, will be life, and the word will become the living word.
A system of profit, of division into more than and less than, a starting point of a fear of loss, because of a separation from life, cannot work and this, evident with what exists on earth, which, in America, is hidden from view, because if Americans would take the time to look, instead of so much denial - which is really just fear of loss - what would be lost would be realized for the limitation that it is - would mean the end of the very need to deny. Life, real living would have no need to deny, would not have the need to tout transparency as a presentation, the presentation of which admits the existence of non-transparency.
A lie has no other option but to scream its existence, to place what hides around it . So, there is no way out. Humpty Dumpty fell and shattered because he built a wall from which to fall, thus Humpty Dumpty created his own skyfall. lol
Individually we are in pieces and collectively we are in pieces. These pieces must come together within and without. This is done alone and all-one together within respecting life, here, so that life can begin.
All justifications are in fact self interest in not wanting to look, in not wanting to see, in not picking self up and becoming life of absolute compassion, looking at as manyconsequences as one is able to grasp, through investigation. This done within asking questions, until a point is reached where a realization exists that any suffering is self in a state of disease, as self as life cannot be here as life, until all life is here, as life, meaning self directive. Self directive means no judgement, no sense of one thing as being more than another, and is anything realizing that an emotional reaction is a disconnect from self direction, which is a disconnect from life here.
I looked at someone today and said to them, “You are a resonant being” and they laughed. Then i asked them if they had any memories, and what memories were, how were they held onto, what would this quality be. So, the fact that we have memories means we are able to resonate with imagery, and imagery can have values attached to it. Ever heard of the word “ nostalgia”? And would the emotions and feelings attached to memories not be considered “good or bad”? And would not soldiers suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome be the effects of horrific experiences/memories caused by war? This is to say a memory is a resonance within us. And depending on the memory, there is a value of good energy or bad energy, thus the memory can have a value as positive or negative.
Then, to take this even further, why would a memory be needed that triggers either a good nostalgic feeling or a bad traumatic feeling? And why have such an occupation as self as life here on earth? Is this necessary and does this allow one to actually be here, I mean why wallow in a “good” memory when one could be here actually being such an experience as what one lives in every moment, meaning directing oneself here on earth without the need for a postcard as a resonance from the past? And why would a trauma exist with energetic emotions of fear and terror? What would create such a thing, especially knowing that memory exists! And if that memory is one that is unbearable, why has it not been seen in common sense that the action that created the memory is an unbearable state of being, and therefor unacceptable, why program such? And if such programming exists, what would happen if the absence of traumatic program were the presence of all of us?
Are our memories showing us where we have run to values, and as such removed ourselves from here, as what exists on earth is an actual removal from looking at here, because for each of us, we would not want the atrocities that exist to happen to us; can’t imagine any of us wanting a child born with horrible deformities such as the ones caused by depleted uranium used in the Irag war. Not one of us able to read this blog would want this, so how and why do we allow this to exist? And would not images of such haunt us? And would this not then be a memory, a resonance as a picture made of wavelengths and vibes and pixels embedded within our flesh, and if this is what happens to the human, then would it not be for the human to ensure that such does not exist on earth, so that what is here is cared for and “clean” of any potential resonance that causes trauma and/or a reaction of disgust/shame/horror/pain/disbelief, and many more?
Even if we wanted to hide from this, and believe that such should not be posted on FB, then can this be a solution? I mean, such abuse exists and it is not going to go away.What if it is like the debt that just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, that is the outcome of usury, that which we were warned against and Jesus was “shut up” for exposing - and others as well?
If the human body is seen as a machine, one that holds resonances, and is given the gift of life but abuses this, all consequence of accepted and allowed actions that are not supportive of life - something that can in no way go unnoticed because it is not in ACCORD with life, , because the separation from what supports all life remains resonant within because it was an action that had not considered all life, then what would remain that shows the separation? Would it be memories that are values of supposed “good” and what then would happen as well, as this is how the machine works, memories of “bad” events are also embedded, as this was the actions allowed on earth, and as the actions this is what is mirrored within? So, what we are, is what we become within, what we allow on earth is what we become within. What we create as the voice on earth, as the actions we allow, is what we become, what we mirror within.
We can run and hide from this, we can run and hide in the good memories, but eventually there is no escape, because meanwhile, the physical world has not reached an expression where what becomes resonant within as the human has no polarity of a good or a bad, and there would be no need to have a memory to be something pulled up to entertain oneself, because here, as the physical world would be absolutely fulfilling in and as existing one and equal to and as life. There would not even be the need for a separate “heaven”, or an alternate reality, because here, would be the sounding of life, absolutely, no need for a re-sound, or even if there were such a thing, it would be as what memory is, a map of what is here, to then be used to perhaps help learn to be here, equal and one to and as the physical, all life equal here, within and without, above and below.
The can be no escape from this. If we take the time to look at this, it makes so much sense, it can be no other way.
Thus, the present system without, is a reflection of the system we have allowed within. it is a system of abdication., it is a system where we believe that a value makes us, defines us, but this cannot be, because this is just a state of being, it is not being the action of being, accepting self as experiencing life, so because we feared losing one “state” we held onto this, and within this became an action of self interest in relation to a value, thus dividing life into fixed states, so to speak, and no longer moving as life.
This is judgement, believing one thing to be more than another. A me-more eeeeeee ride. The starting point of fear of loss, as a negative, moving into a justification to create a happiness, and thus a positive “idea” around the me-more eeeeeeee joy ride, in separation from equality and oneness to and as life, here.
So, the hierarchy on earth is a reflection of this separation, and we are all grabbing resources to allow a few to have more, and others to have nothing, and in our fear of loss we are destroying this earth, as we grab resource in self interest, so we can pass our limited values down generation after generation, as we have come to believe that these limited values define us, and that these values have some kind of meaning, and that all our knowledge and information is taken in in separation from life, because it is used in justifying the more than, the state of ourselves holding a value instead of life being the value, where the expressions of life and all the relationships of expression, the ways of expression as the forms of expression, as what is here on earth, being the experience of being as the value and learning to realize this totally as self, to move as this, to be one with this, thus there would be no death. There would be transformation, expansion in awareness.
This makes so much sense with what has been said to us, as the words of Christ, which were so impressive they could not be denied, a religion was built around them. And then this religion, built by men in separation from life, was used to limit and control, so that some hierarchy could exist dimensionally, this unseen by the eyes of men. A whole existence in separation from life. A system we have all accepted and allowed in abdication of life. Our memories showing us how we are not equal to life. Our memories our idol worship, as consciousness, as mind, as image made huge, a resonance into and as energy, as the division of values made more than and less than, stagnant, unmoving, and thus destructive and devolving instead of living. Earth is showing us our separation and thus abuse we allow on earth, the consequence of our accepted and allowed separation. Memories as collections of thoughts singularly lived again and again compound into emotions and feelings, the consequence of perpetual separation from life, from the giving of ourselves as life equal and one within and as what is best for all as the actual physical world.
Thus the systemic inequality, as profit, this belief system placed next to the principle of the understanding and need to do what is best for all, is the limiting “spoke in the wheel that is life,” remove this, and give as one would like to receive, and life can begin, and the resonance of what we are, will equalize itself to and as life, being here, as it is only here that we can actually be, no need to move and wallow in memory, because here, will be life, and the word will become the living word.
A system of profit, of division into more than and less than, a starting point of a fear of loss, because of a separation from life, cannot work and this, evident with what exists on earth, which, in America, is hidden from view, because if Americans would take the time to look, instead of so much denial - which is really just fear of loss - what would be lost would be realized for the limitation that it is - would mean the end of the very need to deny. Life, real living would have no need to deny, would not have the need to tout transparency as a presentation, the presentation of which admits the existence of non-transparency.
A lie has no other option but to scream its existence, to place what hides around it . So, there is no way out. Humpty Dumpty fell and shattered because he built a wall from which to fall, thus Humpty Dumpty created his own skyfall. lol
Individually we are in pieces and collectively we are in pieces. These pieces must come together within and without. This is done alone and all-one together within respecting life, here, so that life can begin.
DIP Lite |
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