Day 544 Slowing Down into Common Sense

Slowing Down into Common Sense. 

I was working with some people and I noticed that I became spacy, as in having a sense that I had lost control, like the spatial awareness of what I was facing was bigger than the practical steps necessary to get the job done. 

Later, when I was alone, I looked at the steps that I was suggesting and looked at what was causing myself to get loopy, which is a sense of making everything get heavy, like a thick thing to walk through. Within this, I had a hard time seeing the numbers on the paper in front of me, a hard time being aware of the space around me, like what i had to do was becoming a blob of distortion. Since the physical remains stable, this was myself, magnifying some things creating a distortion onto my reality. 

I realize that I had an idea about what i had to do, and somehow, being in common sense of the moment, might bring up something that if I look has no real substance to it.

If I am afraid to hear a no, even when asked for a yes or a no, then I cannot possible address the “ no.” So, in all, fearing a no, is myself having gone into a projection as an idea, based on failure, loss, push-back, blame and spite, it is being competitive, it is comparing based on an accepted value judgement. I realize to be so thankful for the physical world, because it is here remaining stable while I allow myself to become an inner measure based on fairy tale/value judgements as beliefs that are not equal to what it is that I am that is the source that sustains the distorted separation in and as me here.

What happens when I do this, its that there is a pressure, a friction within and as my chest area. Like there are forces in conflict within and as me. I was reading that electrons can flow without generating heat, and that when they flow in a slow way they generate heat. Thus is is possible to control the flow of electrons to generate heat and or not generate heat. And, I don’t know this but as knowledge and information. What I have sensed within and as me as my chest area, is that there are times when this pressure is there, and times when there is a warmth, and times when it feels open, lite, at ease.

So, on the day of this meeting with some people, I noticed that my chest was “ thickening” again. So, I went back and looked at this in detail, and i noticed that there was this point where I was having a hard time moving with ease. And, I want to say, that in the years I performed the violin, I did notice that one day I could play with ease, meaning it was not hard, not difficult, not a burden in any way. And, then, there were days it felt like playing was this huge thing that I had to focus so hard on, to move in any way - and on these difficult days, I realized I usually had some issue, bothering me. So, if i look at this event, I became uncertain about a part of the process, even though I had practiced it, I was not certain within it. I had either built up some ideas around it, or had not practically walked it and was allowing this idea to bother me. When I got home I walked the whole process, to re-look at the script of it as the practical steps needed.  So, when the anxiety comes up, in relation to this, I have the structure there, the common sense of what needs to be done, to have this should the anxiety come up again. Much like learning to drive a car, for example.

I have to be able to remain in and as sound mind, a sense of here, in conception of practical reality, otherwise, if I allow fears, then my inner visual perception begins to distort reality. I mean, just imagine a situation where fear swept through the body, could you see straight? And later, when you looked back, did you ask yourself why you did not slow down and remain stable and self responsible without distorting reality - and did you not want to admit that you had done this? With all the cop stories around these days, I am sure that there are cops out there that realize they had an adrenaline rush, over reacted, and do not want to admit this, because they fear losing their jobs. Overall, this is really messed up, because another suffers the loss of common sense of another and this carries on with the one bearing the consequences, and this also remains with the cop, and grows into guilt, consuming the physical body that holds resonances as the water, and, as science now understands, becomes a memory that is passed down genetically. In all, everything we do, everything we allow remains, and we know when we were not clear, and we know when we hide what we have mis-taken as the measure of here in practical common sense. This is why this has to stop, and we each must realize that the only way to correct is to admit to the loss of perception that can be caused by a past of distortion learned, environmental problems, social economic structural problems that create lack in many ways, preventing a person from being stable and in fear of survival. This system cannot work and ignores the reality that the physical body is much like a lens, that can distort reality based on the inner map constructed about the world. In essence, one could say here, that emotional ploys are a crime against life, they are a distortion of reality, they are an imprint of belief, and, as such, are accumulating generationally, and manifesting in our children, who are lacking in an ability to focus. I have had some people say to me, “ well, it is being better diagnosed.” This in itself is limited, it is true, but also limited.  We have an advertising system that is impulsing values within limited measure, and this is becoming the map within, and this has been happening for the last few generations, so the focus of our children as what is referenced within as what is experienced, is not equal to physical reality, and as such they cannot see the details of here.

I can’t imagine what it must be like for a child to be in a state of vertigo, which is what it is like, while sitting in a class room, not being able to see straight and not understanding that perhaps it is from a genetic memory of a father who hid his actions because he wanted to keep his job, and as such built a fantasy within and as him to justify he actions, when overall, the starting point was not using common sense. In the past we did not have science, but we did have traditions that indicate a measure of some kind of innate understanding, and one of them was the realization of “ the sins of the fathers being transferred for seven generations.’ We sow what we reap, there is no way out. Thus each one of us is responsible for what we allow within, when we become uncertain, or in fear, we have to admit it, correct it, to ensure that our children do not suffer, as well as the children of others.

On another front, if we look to the environmental influences, we can see that what we are doing as how we use our resources, within every step of the process, we are causing things to happen to the environment that effect our children. So, at this point they are being hit from within and from without, and over all, as I said before, this is accumulating. Would this be what you would want as a child being born into this world? No.

It is going to take time to correct all of this imbalance. But, it is the only choice. It is the choice to do what is best for all, in thought word and deed, it is to create within and without, what allows creation, the manifestation of life in full expression. Within this, we need only look to the forms we have allowed - and formed to control/organize us, because what is here is to control our separation, but because we are not equal to life, overall, this structural form is destructive because it divides within value judgements that are a measure unequal to common sense of physical life in formation. And, that this has been going on for a very long time. It is time to end the cult of the personality, it is time to stabilize physical reality. Practically, this means creating a basic income that gives basic needs to all humans, and to educate all humans through sharing consequences and outflows, in full detail, to all people - which means slowing down and taking the time to do so. It also means, bring the stability of having basic needs met, no matter what, so that each has the space and time, without fear of loss, to make decisions that consider all life. In this, no matter where we go on earth, we met a community of life, as the very fabric of all that is the manifestation of life, moving in the enjoyment of simply being life here, and that with each interaction, with each communication, we expand, enjoy, breath, live. This is what we all want, we simply have to forgive the ideas of good and bad, and see directly, within and as what is best for all. It is only an idea that this cannot be done, because under that idea, is the physical that works in common sense ways, and when we are equal and one in and as that, we are at ease, in joy, here.

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Day 543 The limited measure of projecting values.

Today I feel tired. I realize I have to go and do something and I fear the outcome not being directive, not being clear in leading to understanding of how we are formed within, that is causing so much anxiety and malfunctioning within out society. How can I allow another to discover the separation that exists that is so evident in the very practices we are all accepting and allowing that is creating the lack of communication and practical problem solving skills in each of us? I mean we need only look at the systemic structural design to realize that any lack is simply a disconnect from being in common sense. In other words, common sense is the biologic of each of us as the formation of the substance of what we are, it has to exist, or the very formation of physical life would be non-existent. It is what we are, so it is what we as humans are able to be and do. It is right here in front of us and we cannot see it, we are too busy projecting ideas that are based on limited values, missing the common sense of how this world works in interconnected ways, and how we are the perfect biological machines to be in common sense with that which is us.

So, this tiredness within me is a feeling that this is impossible. And I can feel this energy coming up that is a distraction from common sense. I have to stand, stable here, breathing, slowing down, bring this back to myself and realizing what is best for all.

There are videos on the internet of babies singing, crying, and dancing. What these very small children are doing is imitating everything they see. If a mother sings an emotional song, the baby imitates every movement, down to the tears flowing. Thus, the baby, who in reality has had no sorrow, ( I mean having a mother who can post on the internet, means the existence is pretty stable and thus basic baby needs met) is modeling the facial physical expression of sorrow simply through imitation.

Now, when we learn to play an instrument, for example, we have to remediate until the movement is understood. This is the same when we learn to drive a car. once the physical behaviors/movements are learned, the movement does not take up so much of our attention, and we can add more awareness. The behavior, the movement, the being and having of movement and directive capacity within this is learned and becomes automatic.

So, we know what is repeated as a behavior becomes automatic.

So, what happens when an emotional value is impulsed? The same. So, if emotional values are imitated, and we learn to form all our muscles in ways that imitate the emotional value, do we then  become this in response to our world? I mean this is a learned expression of our physical imitative expression. So, in essence, we can exhibit sorrow when we have never lived sorrow.

So, how directive do we really become, when we learn such? Is this not like learning play acting, without having any context of reality, that very physical form that enables this imitation - so to speak?

Is this what we are being taught, to begin with, the emotions of our parents?

It is that we are using a biological sensing machine to imitate within a behavioral bubble, one of self defining values that are in themselves in separation from realizing that what we are has an incredible ability to sense the world around us. So, one could say that our common sense as biological beings, is being used to imitate emotions instead of realizing that we are that sensing machine.  We believe that showing emotion is maturity, but in essence it reveals the measure of our separation from practical reality, physical reality, which is what is doing the imitating.

What if this biological ability to imitate were used to sense all of the physical world, to realize the workings of being physical beings on a physical planet?

What if, in tandem with this, we realized that the present system was one where banks, printed money out of thin air, lent it, with interest, knowing full well that the interest was impossible to repay, because what was lent was a certain amount overall, so what would return was only what was lent, so the interest could never, ever be repaid in total, and that with each printed-out-of-thin-air bill, the other bills lost value in a inverted division of placing the overall value within a narrow limited confined amount overall. I mean to say, with each printing, the total is divided into smaller measure, it is an illusion of more, that is not more. And the ones at the bottom bear the loss of value in pensions etc.

Yet, if we are all caught up in emotions, as the measure within as what we have remediated ourselves in and as, and that this has some meaning that is of a value greater than common sense, like we are existing as movies of emotional values in and as our biological imitative beingness, and so occupied with this, that we have no ability to measure in common sense what is going on right under our noses? We have lost, or not developed from the get go, a sense of the measure of reality here, and how our systems are structures that play with the measure of here in ways that support a separation that places an idea of value judgements before common sense?

And, overall, some, that are lost in their value judgements, which are a separation, that layers as emotions, that builds a character that becomes the expression of the person, who buys the airwaves of media, and impulses this value, which is imitated and programmed within each, that what is real, and what is common sense is completely lost.

And then, the structural design, economically naturally causes a lot of stress because that debt based on imaginary money made real accepted as real, by the borrower, has each of us running on a treadmill of limited values imitated to survive within this limited scenario, that we are so caught up in, we can no longer realize that a cup is a cup. Period.

What we see, is that the cup is purple, and based on our memories of comfort, or culture, that the cup’s value is based on its color because it triggers emotions of security of one’s place on a grid on inequality, where one’s cultural beliefs, are touted because they maintain one’s value that defines one placement. Our common sense tells us it is a sup, our emotional sense tells us that the value is based on other - and very very limited- qualities - and of course, these values are not good or bad, but they are made self defining values. A real smoke and mirrors show. I mean, this is how a natural divergent thinking ability is lost, that ability to look at an object and realize the real value as what the form can be used for beyond allowing one limited characteristic to become the value. And even here, to realize that the values are commodified, so one believes that there is choice. But the choice is very limited. I mean  walk into a department store and see all the shapes and sizes and believe that you have a choice, and that your choice is the “ real” choice and the best choice, when it really in no choice, because that cup is a cup.

So, my tiredness is the thought of having to face this paranormal system of limited values that humans have allowed to define themselves as. And, also to realize that because these limited values have been allowed to define us, and we are not taking our heads out of the illusion, that these values can be used to direct us into realigning ourselves back into our common sense. It is being responsible and non-reactive, to and towards the separation, because emotional reactions are  myself being the same, placing limited values before reality. And, I am such a program of this, that my automated reactions are not all clear, because it took a long time to build this inner-value-before-life-common-sense, that I have to bring myself back, breath, slow down, forgive the values, step out of the paranormal reality and ground myself here. And, once again, to realize that the only place that I can be in common sense, is equal and one with and as the physical, so the answer is always right in front of me, as there is no place to “ fall” but here.

I notice that when I become an emotional reaction, my legs physically become heavy, the muscles in my thighs become tense, constricted. This is the morality system of values I have defined myself as. This has accumulated into my flesh and defines my character, because it is of limited values, that are not good or bad, just aspects of qualities about the physical, not something to be allowed a more than status. And the loss of this, I fear would mean the loss of myself, but it is not the loss of myself, it is the loss - so to speak- of my separation from the gift of life, which is my common sense. I fear standing as the responsibility of and as this.

In all, it is very much like the logi-rhythm of a violin sting, where the divisions are placed within redividing space into a time of measure within a limited framework, and within this system, the division are of  commodified different measures, but the string length stays the same and it is composed of physical substance, so it is to become flexible, mutable, without fear of what underlies changing, it is only the pressure that changes the sound, 

What remains is the physical world and to get myself back is a process because it took time to build the separation from myself as life, here. And, for this separation I forgive myself, which means, re-scripting myself through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to become response-able as life.

Day 542 Self forgiveness on looking for a purpose.

I had a long talk with a woman today. It was fun, because she had realized that the people in her world, were not using their common sense. She could see this all around her, and that herself trying to resolve this all the time was pointless, meaning she had to be true to herself. This was common sense. She had to let go of guilt, of believing she was bad because she was no longer supporting others in ways that she had her whole life. It was time to do what was best for her. And if others did not like this, then tough.

This does not mean she shut people out, it just means that she communicated, but when the communication as what she attempted to say in common sense, was not what was wanted, and the other reacted, she simply walked away.

I was with others last night, it being Easter. And at one point I noticed I reacted because the response was contrary to what I wanted to express. I slowed down and allowed the other to speak, afterwards, simply because of the rhythm of the evening, I did not take what was said and follow through. But this happens, so I just let it go.

I am dealing with what I call a point of being responsible. Meaning simply being within practical reality, where I do not need to coerce, as what is practical and functional, is right here. It needs no justification. It simply means to walk how here, as this physical existence works - of which the only solution is to do what is best for all, and that this is what is best for self.

I notice a resistance to this, as though failure to convey this, will show up in failure. That consequences down the line will be because there is still a pull to want to fit in. But fitting in is an illusion, because I am here on a mechanistic world, that is an order that allowed life to exist.

So, nature is a naturally organizing system, it is the idea of more, that separates men from what enables life, which is the physical world.

If this very simple realization becomes the understanding of men, this whole world will change very fast. Somehow, that which is simple is lost, and the discord of beliefs of more and less, complicate, and it is this complication that is causing the loss of common sense. Everyone is lost in their own self interest, their inner rest of ideas that have been made more than the life that is here around us.

So, in having this idea, that I have to succeed, I begin to race and become moralistic, within wanting to explain reality. I had wanted to explain that one way was more than the way this other person believed was okay.

Really, there was nothing right or wrong about what was stated. The structure as the belief, was not good or bad, it was how this is realized practically at the moment within a system that in total is in separation from common sense.

That I tell myself that I am not responsible for others, means that I still feel responsible, because I am at war within myself about this. I cannot be here if I am still feeling that I need some validation from others, that there is something I am supposed to do, which I now realize has been a thought that I have had in life. This thought that “ there is something I am supposed to do.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that “ there is something I am supposed to do.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is a problem, and within this to have this thought that “ there is something I am supposed to do.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that having a belief, as a thought, that “ there is something I am supposed to do” is myself believing that i am special, in some way, that I have some purpose, where if I look at this, this idea of a purpose, is ambiguous, and has no real grounding here with reality, it is something, like a ghostly entity that i have as mind  about reality, and as this, I allow myself to chase a metaphysical idea about having a purpose, instead of realizing myself equal and one to and as , with here, reality, standing in common sense as what I am as a human being, here, and as such, this, simply, is my “ purpose.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory of myself believing that there is something I am supposed to understand, something that I am supposed to grasp and understand, as myself as a child, talking and interacting with adults.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine if I could just get the point, as what is being said to me in the past as my childhood then I would understand the purpose being taught to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious within and as this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this slight movement within and as me, this anxiety, where I believe that there is some purpose, something that I must understand as a belief that I don;t understand, and as such am not seeing the purpose which is overall not real, and I keep trying to make this separation as an idea, real, when this remains here as an idea within and as me, because it really has no substance, and as such no place to go, because it has no connection, no reality to it, because it is in separation from practical reality, as being here, equal and one, with and as what i am as the form of me, as a man on earth, reveals the purpose of myself as life formation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to sense the measure of myself here, as this, as within this I divide the very focus of me, as the substance of me, as the common sense of me, into an image that has no real definition or ability to sustain, because it cannot, because what is real, is that which is physically manifest , which is the physical world, as this is the gift of creation, the form of life, which is to include all life, where life is the value, and work with this as the very fabric of what enables life to be, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not look here, and see that this thought - has no bearing on life other than separation leading to destruction if made more real than the physical - and it is just this a thought that hovers, here, endlessly, because it is in separation, is not equal to me as life, connected to reality as the physical, the way and means of being in life expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some purpose I must seek and find, when I cannot move, unless i am here, as the physical is what gives purpose,as the physical is life, thus, I can only be the purpose of life, in equality and oneness with and as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the back chat within this context of this thought, “ it must be here”, “ if I can only see the purpose of myself,” “ if I only understood more than I would find my purpose,” not seeing realizing and understanding that this purpose seeking is just this, purpose seeking, and as such my mind traveling in some alternate reality, and not myself here, equal and one with and as the physical which is how and what i am here, able to be and express myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that somehow, i missed the train, because this question in and as my mind that is myself wondering around life “ Hans guck in die Luft” is a state of being that is in separation from practical common sense reality of what it means to exist in expression as life, as life must have form to be in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then, at times become the thought - as I attempt to create an ideological “ purpose” to believe that no one understands me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have backchat that no one understands me, which within this voice in and as my mind, this back chat, is myself allowing myself to spin around in an idea of needing a purpose and as such believing that if I had a purpose, then I would be successful or have meaning, all of this, a separation from practical common sense reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as anxiety within and as this, as though I may be less than, because I have not discovered some purpose, and that others may find out and realize that I have no purpose, to which I blame myself because I did not, for example, “ work hard “ enough to have found my purpose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that somehow I did not work hard enough to “ find my purpose.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be this belief, creating a physical anxiety  that “ If only - then - I could find my purpose, everything would be fine.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I have not found myself “ purpose” I will have failed at life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a feeling of shame, at this thought about purpose, where i believe that I failed life, because I did not find my purpose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide, based on this idea, as this thought “ that i had to find my purpose.”

I forgive myself for allowing and and accepting myself to believe that my purpose if to “ save the world,” which is to exist as a belief that the world needs to be saved and that somehow my purpose is to be this, when this is the separation, in and as an idea in and as my mind, that is the being of myself moving away from common sense, which is to be equal and one to and as the physical as the physical is the purpose of life in expression.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this belief in purpose, is myself allowing myself to become anxious, feeling heavy and crestfallen as I judge myself having failed my purpose, which is overall the illusion and as this illusion as belief, myself in separation from what is right here in front of me, which is life in expression as an order, within and as what works information, which is the physical, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, conversely  fear not having a purpose.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that allowing myself to exist as this idea of purpose, as this thought that “ if only I could find my purpose, or the purpose of life,” I am ignoring what is right here in front of me, hidden behind my own self interest of wanting more than what is here in common sense as physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become physically crest fallen, in and as an idea that I have not found my “ purpose.”

When and as I find myself tensing up within conversations, and or community, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that this physical sense of my “ crest” falling, is myself reacting based on a belief, and as such, myself not being equal and one, in common sense of physical reality.

When and as I find myself having a thought about “ purpose,” I stop and I breath and i bring myself here, and I see, realize and understand that the purpose of life is simply right here, as the physical, information as life, as the order and structure of the physical is the gift of life, here.

When and as I find myself becoming anxious, in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself here, equal and one with and as the physical to see , realize and understand that the purpose is life, here.

When and as I find myself believing that there is a “ more” than, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that if I am occupied as mind as a thought that “ I must have a purpose” that I am no longer, here, focused, equal and one, with and as the physical.

Day 541 The MAZING mind.

I am dealing with a family that has problems with their children. I have talked with both parents and the child. Having watched so many children, specifically read, their body movements, the way their eyes move, where the very music of them stutters, I look at the child speaking with me, I ask some questions, just to get him to speak, so I can hear the words, see how he moves, like when I taught children violin. I had to watch to see if the form, as their bodies, was in alignment, balanced, and how they were moving as the blocks as the notes, because when one reads music, one see the patterns as blocks, and takes in the form of this. Playing the violin takes an awareness of many angles, and to get this to come out in balance as a child, takes some “ reconfiguring.” One has to know where things are not flowing, even within. With reading and speaking it really is no different.

I listen to this boy. I speak with his parents. I notice there is spoken agreement. But, when it comes time to organize, nothing.  It is like seeing a seed emerge and then no capacity to follow through. the whole scenario will be sabotaged with this action. But then, this is somehow understood because they had reached out and come to me.  The only thing is to call this out and walk the limitations in the way, direct through this, make it plain, and either the action is taken or not. I feel responsible for the steps that would lead to self responsibility. But the maze appears too much to me.

So, I find myself going into planning, emotional planning, to face what comes. I remember that everything was analyzed in my family, about every single action one made in various situations. Then the fault line was pointed out.  The verbal punishment ensued, the reprimand. I felt that i was trapped because the questions came at me, where i was caught in answering but never allowed to ask the questions.  Perhaps, as I became older, I then started to ask more questions, or bring up more variables, as is natural, but then used this, when successes had been made, as a way and a means of deflecting the whole situation so as to pre-empt where I for saw within the event the fault line. So, I got caught up in a game of avoidance tactics, smoke and mirrors, using my sense of space and time to  build my own castle walls. This is like consuming an ability in very narrow and limited ways, instead of using this to actually see the totality of what is here that would bring one to act in such “ mazing” ways ( yes, why do we just use the word amazing and not the word “ mazing” When in effect this is what really happens. )

This brings me back to the boy and his parents within whom I am interacting at the moment.

I am dealing with the “mazing” that is the same as what i have done, even though the specifics are perhaps of slightly different measure. But, somehow, there is awareness of this “ mazing” effect, this self sabotage.  We are not seeing that, just as with learning to play the violin, we create what we are within, and we are responsible for what we create within, and what we create within becomes our tool of measure in reaction the the world. What each must realize is that every one of us is doing this, were we not, were the balance of each human more on the side of consideration and respect for this world, then our system would be more a system of care for this life, and since it is not, the majority of us, that have jobs and a roof over our heads, are more than likely a mazing of  avoidance in being honest and as such, enjoying, really enjoying, being here, interacting with this reality. Instead we are caught up in our own heaven and hell fantasy in and as our minds, we are not being direct and equal to reality, realizing our mis-takes, as only this, as a process of learning to become life,  we are hiding, using that which enables us to respond and measure the outside world, and building an inner maze that has forgotten to enjoy what we are in essence doing as beings on earth, which is to learn, to enjoy, becoming functioning beingness with this world.

I find, within this realization, that my back is screaming. Like standing and being clear, will end up causing reactions, but I would want someone to be patient with me if I had become this, I would want that non-reaction as ego if I were in the other’s shoes. I would want the slow and careful patience which was given to me at times in my life that allowed me the space, that even showed me the space to see my own movements, my own measures, to realize them and then add more awareness to my own mazing actions so that I could begin to move with ease, which is to move with humility, humbleness, patience, and self honesty and actually begin to enjoy being here because it is here that I am life.

Stop and Look at your own mind constructions, built over time, where the forest is no longer seen through the trees. To begin the journey is free. DIPLite. And free Eqafe.com Interviews. Become the patience you would want for yourself.

Day 540 Being a Leader and Being Self Responsible

Being a leader and being self responsible.

I remember when I first went and lived in Europe that I felt overwhelmed by the towns, like the very stones in the cities were filled with stories that were a burden, heavy. I would find solace in nature, under a tree. And I remember asking myself why I found more ease under a tree than I did in a city street, when the tree was around far longer than that city.

In all, though the burden of discord as the past of the behaviors of men, the abuse of labor etc. may be in every measure of stone, to allow myself to be influenced by this, is in itself a rejection of what is basically a story, that is all. I can’t really understand how we got to where we are if I don’t understand the movements that lead to all that is within me, as my reactions and all that is without me, as the world around me.

If I resist, then that which I resist persists, because it is myself rejecting something, which means I am not clear with something to the point where i am at ease. To be at ease, is to have no fear, to be clear in understanding, to realize that I am able to move with what is here, and that I cannot be hurt unless I am not paying attention. Also, at where we are now, as what has been accepted and allowed on earth, there are, in common sense, some things that one does not participate within, because humans have become, basically zombies caught in a web of their own making, that is not a web of support and respect and “ understanding” development of what it means to life as a physical bio-organic entity on this earth, where this physical beingness is a visible and practical expression, as real expression is. 

I remember saying to people when they viewed me as being talented because I played the violin, I would say, no, it has nothing to do with this, it is simply walking the steps and doing it, that is all. In all common sense. But then, this is being responsible. Pretty words are just pretty words, “ real “ words look at what is here, real words are living words, that lead, that give direction, that show development. Real words that do not punish or reward, give direction, give the ability of each human, to become self empowered, self directed, responsible. Thus, leading is giving self empowerment, absolutely. Real leadership, expects no reward, because it understands that the real reward is to direct all that is here, as each human being, the ability to become self responsible.  Because this increases the ability of men to create as each point, as each man, can come together and create a world that enables the whole orchestra to perform, and that it is this that builds a sound of life. So, when we support this physical world, in ways that do no harm, we create a web of life that is in full function, full expression, full potential, because this is how we support ourselves to our fullest.

We need the perspective of every person on the ground, to have the insight needed to understand what supports and builds a planet where every inch is performing as its form allows it. one man’s idea as the mind, cannot possibly realize this, hence the idea of a superman is an impulse to create a dream connection instead of an equal connection to what enables us to exist in life formation, which is the physical world.

It must be understood that every leaf on every tree is moving with the total expression of what is best for all, every turn, every sway, every single movement, it is an absolute purpose of allowing life to express in full potential. When we humans impose ideas onto this, we become separate from this, we become unequal to life.

I have somehow, reacted to misunderstanding as rejection, which means I am expecting understanding without standing consistently as understanding, and as such listening to realize the limitation/rejection/measure/focus cannot hurt me unless I accept and allow it, because as human beings, what we inform ourselves as, is what we become. If our information within is not equal in understanding to that which we are without, then that separation causes an inability to direct ourselves leading to a consequence of instability that develops a lack of self trust. 

When my husband died, I would weep. A very strange sensation to have rivers of water flow from your eyes, to such an extent, that your shirt becomes all wet. This crying is really the shame self faces for not standing equal and one to and as life here. It is the recognition that life is not being lived, and the hurt is really self not living, which self cannot blame anything other that self.

The only way out is to stand, here, equal and one in common sense of practical physical reality, to move within the purpose of realizing that this is it, what we create here, is what we get, and it is the whole of this planet that is to be considered with every breath we take.

As long as I believe I am not being understood due to any measure of loss, and am hurting because of this, I am not here, I am not becoming responsible for what I am within and for the effects of this without because I can only direct as what is best for all if that ease as life is to become what it is that is the I am, as myself as life here. And to realize, that that interaction, that communication, is the expression of myself as life here.

So, when I have an emotion of resistance I look to the belief behind that emotion.

When I feel hurt, I look to what expectations I have had and where I am not being clear about how we as humans are informed and how we have believed that information within to be more real than the physical world of life without.

What I need to exist - besides practical basic needs given what we have allowed to form as life on earth - is myself as life, here, as this is what allows even that fantasy as mind, as consciousness that is what presently exists in men that is not equal in measure to the composition of ourselves which is reality, here which is what enables life. The solution, to equalize ourselves within to create a world without, that is an expression of leading ourselves as life, is to support a Living Income Guarantee, so that we can begin to equalize ourselves to what supports this world in ways that do no harm, because it will allow us to see our own cognitive dissonance, our misinformation,  our chaos, to become what is very simple, ourselves as life in-formation.

Day 539 The Me-sure as Mind Consciousness

Ego will never grasp the simplicity of self forgiveness. Bernard Poolman

Many times when I find myself solving a problem, the solution is there in a moment, it is of a common sense awareness, and it comes with ease. I respond with a sense of awe, wondering how and why I did not see something so simple in the first place. This happens a lot within the Desteni I Process.

This happens so often, that when I am not humble and at ease, moving here in this way, I have once again allowed myself to become the chaos of the mind. I am moving within a very very limited awareness, as I allow myself to follow a very limited construct that has become a concrete abstract of reality. It even uses the very substance of reality, as the physical to exist.

This happened yesterday. I had a fear, and idea, a theory about something I had to do. I began to “ think” about it, but not in relation to a practical common sense. Finally, I decided that I could only walk reality once I was within the situation I had allowed ideas built from uncertainty, as fear, to begin to infiltrate my being, here.

Interesting, that as I write this out, I am suddenly heavy with tiredness, just as what happened yesterday when I got to this point of letting my picture show go, and realizing that I can only address the situation in reality. Also, to note, that I had the practice and the principle of what is best for all as my framework.

This tiredness does have a thought, here, it is “ I am tired of trying to explain..”  Behind this, is a memory of trying to explain in so many ways, forgetting within this that learning to explain something in very simple ways takes time. Also, that I have to explain from experience, meaning real live practical experiences that I realized I had moved in a way that was in separation from what is simple, which is what is best for all. Always, there was division and ideas of losing something within a limited measure, a limited paradigm, a PARA digm that i had accepted and allowed within and as me. The tick tock of the pendulum from weighing and measuring the good and the bad, the “ what if” based on a picture within a system that is the same separation from reality. This chaos,  through division into more of less,  used values to determine choice, when that moment of simplicity, is found standing outside of this chaos of division into good and bad. This means to realize the physical world as the real sound expression. This physical world’s sound expression when left to itself , without a human consciousness mind-made-bigger-than-reality-consciousness, will naturally organize itself, balance itself, so it is here, in the real world that I see and can become symbiotic with what is me, the same as me, here. And this is the inclusion of all that is here, accepting all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I am tired of trying to explain.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become my mind only, and to believe that there is only an either/or outcome of win or lose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare within a measure of win or lose.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, from this point, go into self judgement within a limited criteria of what is good and bad in relation to how I look, how I speak, my capacity based on my past of an innerstructure that I relate to as a late/past measure of what defines success according to a system of inequality where I slow down and I breath, and I stabilize into  what is the real value, which is myself participating, equal and one to the very sound of life here, which moves with the absolute purpose as a function information of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be ashamed of myself for not considering all life as me, with each thought, word, and deed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fault myself, which is myself as a starting point in default of realizing that what is here as the physical is the means of my existence is the sound as the formation that moves in practical ways, on which I impose a limited construct as the very being of myself in a state of separation where I place value on limited aspects of multiple expressions of life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as an idea that I am not good enough, and as this to go into self pity, the pit of self as mind, operating within a limited measure manifest as a vapid , a vapor that is destruction instead of creation, a smoke and mirrors show, a valley of good and evil, that I allow as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that in fearing, inferring such insight as what existence is, as mind, I am in essence, not equal and one with and as myself as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I fear facing the storm of separation in others, I am accepting and allowing a fear of loss of what is a construct of limited values of good and bad, as I have allowed to define me, which is myself not looking here, seeing the patterns of separation, and as such myself not existing within common sense, and as such, this physical movement within and as me, becomes a heavy physical sensation of an inequality with that simplicity and humility that moves with ease, here, and as such, finds solutions and the directive capacity that is equality and oneness with and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this default state of being, as mind, has no directive function because it is clouded by a fear of making a mistake, which is in itself an abdication of equality and oneness with and as the physical, and myself projecting based on a past as the details that build the judgement that does not move with the sound information of the physical that is life, here, of which I as life an one and equal to and as.

When and as i find myself becoming tired, I stop and I breath, and i slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I can only face separation from common sense, and realize the patterns of separation as the voice of separation, as a separation is always on the lookout for reunion with the loss and/or looking for the loss as a gain, and as such visible, and able to be called out by name and realigned into solution as self discovery within and as the principle of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself having the thought of “ I am tired of explaining” I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see the that i am allowing the word “ explain” as an idea become bigger than actual common sense participation with and as life, as I can only have an explanation in the moment, here, thus the idea of explaining, I have accepted and allowed as an entity within and as me, that I am carrying as a burden, having allowed myself to become overwhelmed, which is myself in separation from common sense as that which can exist in simplicity, as equality and oneness here, where solutions are found that are stable and withstand the test of time here.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that explaining something is tedious and as such a burden.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become this ambiguous idea that explaining  is difficult.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory, as a measure of myself here, of which I have allowed to become an entity as a self definition as a belief, that becomes a burden as this state of being I allow within,  as what directs me in the moment here, slowing down the common sense ability of myself that can only walk the details of practical living, step by step, here.

When and as I find myself believing that explaining is tedious and a burden, I stop and I breath, and I do not define myself as an idea as my past, and I realize that self correction takes practical alignment, here, in common sense of the physical reality, and that the solution is always right there in front of me, and can move with ease, thus it is only what I accept as mind that is the separation, here.

When and as I find myself fearing the reactions of mind, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that reactions as mind, are a definition that is ambiguous, and that this when used to define must deconstruct to reconstruct, which is a process that at times will react to change, and as such that reactions are objections to change, of which the only solution is to walk through with humility and patience, here. as what is allways the only way and means of life, is life itself, the expression, the creation of which, is to exist within and as what is best for all.

When and as I find my self becoming heavy within and as my head area, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, until I am stable, and breathing with ease, I realize that the process of remediation, as the me-sure as mind, is in a process of change, and reformatting to walk in equal measure with practical physical reality, where I become the directive principle, equal and one to and as life here, and within this, that a speeding car, has to slow down and turn, when changing from a high speed and that that turn appears to be a loss, a nonmoving moment, but in essence this is a movement that is not a value, simply a movement, a transformation from separation into common sense as mind structure.

Day 538 Self Forgiveness Arguing Limitations

 Yesterday I had a lot of back chat coming up. I would notice this and then find myself in another scenario, an imagination in my mind. Each time, I was like a victim, but arguing, as in justifying my stance. It went from explaining things to a family member, which I forgave and then stopped, only to find the same thing happening about a disagreement with a neighbor.  I forgave this, and then I went into a “ what if” scenario. By the evening, I began to notice this pattern within myself, myself the victim and the world needing something explained. 

At the moment I have some decisions to make that are taking some time. And, I am learning how to speak with others in ways that I have not directed myself within using a specific kind of structure. Within this, what is interesting is that my music background keeps popping up. I begin to see everything like a movement. Like a multidimensional movement, and then I want to explain all of this. But there, within this, remains this defensive approach, as my patterns are showing me, my starting point is from myself believing i am a victim, which means I am not standing equal to what I am presenting, because there remains this sense of not being understood, or being a victim, which also means that I feel inferior, incapable, which in turn means that I believe I hold something superior. The polarity game spinning around as an argument, imagination in and as my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to come from a starting point as a belief that i am a victim.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that I am not understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as an idea that i am not understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not understood based on a past, where, perhaps this is from when I was a child and did not have the vocabulary, the inner measure as the words to explain myself in ways that were clear, and even if I did, as I was a child, that perhaps the adults would not have heard me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want another to stand equal to me in understanding as a starting point, instead of standing equal and one to and as the words and measure of description that I am communicating.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use communication from a starting point of accusation, in a protection and defense manner, which make the matter that I am focused on a point of fear with an imagination of  an idea as a gain, and as such a fear of loss, of failure, instead of  common sense , here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that it takes time to reform and transform misinformation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into self blame, when and as I have not had an outcome that matched an expectation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, within this, carry the past with me, and fear an outcome that does not meet the expectations I expect.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to then go into a self expectation that impossibility exists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that the misinformation of judgement within and as me, which I have accepted and allowed, is too much, is too deep, is a lot, that it is impossible for me to ever clear this up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am mis-understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like I have been saying something, over and over again for two years, and it appears that i can get no one to hear me, and that the fault of this is that I have too much cognitive dissonance that it is impossible for me to be able to reach others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe , within this, that I am a hopeless case, as others have come and are in the leadership position, because I could not speak in ways that allowed others to be equal in understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  feel so confused, because I had stood in front of a group of children and thought to change the very fabric of their understanding, and what I walked with them had an immense effect, to such a degree that the reactions of the adults was one of silence, and here I am having moved into more understanding of this, and still, I have not been able to reach anyone, even when I practiced what i preach - so to speak, with positive results.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like I stand in from of a mass of movement, and still I am not heard, within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have such a thought.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel frustrated when I do not even get some kind of response from another, and to have the thought that this is what is happening.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand within this that I can only be here, that a cup is a cup, and a word is a measure of here, and that this is the value of the word, in that it is a unit of measure of here, as it can really be nothing other than this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the emotional/feeling movement within and as me, is myself not being equal and one here, as I can only address what is the state of measure, within and without here, and that it takes time to balance out misinformation which means walking this in thought word and deed again and again until it is done.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that the fabric as the world around me, and the movement as mind as men, gives its separation away as the words spoken, and as such can be realigned in common sense of what has been accepted and allowed, in a world where men exist as energy as idea , impulsed for generations within a system of each human abdicating the within as life into limited measures of awareness of space and time, and as such creating a separation from functioning in equality with practical reality,  as the starting point was an idea of a more than, where the memory within and as the inner structure of the human, is a me sure as a me more, as a value judgement of the within picture being more real that the without reality that is what allows that within to exist, thus it is for me to stand here, within and as what is best for all, as this is what is best for self, and to see, realize and understand that in arguing my limitations, I am, as a whole, not standing equal and one here.

Day 537 Going into Mind Consciousness Self Forgiveness

So much knowledge and information as what I have learned, as what I was taught to believe as how I measure this world, has me comparing and competing based on a limited framework of survival. The mechanism of the social contract accepted and allowed by men, where money determines one’s ability, one’s opportunity, and as such, one’s development. This happens by degree on so many levels, and as we are physically living in a relatively small circle, we get caught up in the immediate measure of our world only, and lose sight of the total structure of the world, the systems, the consequences in detail, about what is happening. And while we are in our daily lives, the apparatus of the world around us, as the system makes small incremental changes over time, and before we know it, as we see happening in America, the money system has shifted to one of extreme inequality.

Yet, this extreme inequality has been around for a very long time. Were it not then there would be no starving children. Since we have not taken care of the dis-ease, it has only grown. And this dis-ease has two forms, one of greed, and one of lack, one of excessive accumulation of money and goods, and the other side of this coin, children dying of starvation and environmental pollution.

This coin, of extremes, the consequential polarities the faces of this coin, are in total the limitation that in itself is a separation from common sense. And common sense is what is lost when we remain within small circles of understanding. This understanding ONLY in our immediate environment, without being responsible for what is happening all over this world.

This is really why the only solution is the realization that we are all equal in substance, because it will allow a respect for the whole, the full potential of an innate common sense that at the moment has only been trained to look at the immediate environment instead of this immediate environment and the events and movements going on around this world as a measure of what life as earth is.  Each part of this environment is connected to the one next to it, thus it is all connected. Our common sense is to be equal to the measure of the physical and its expression. Our words must be equal to a clear, living, measure of here, where we can then begin to see the patterns and thus form of not only what we have allowed within, but also, that which is the physical in expression, as this is the way to equality with what we are as life. The chaos of the mind, in a measure of very limited value judgement, as an idea that one thing is more than another, is very limited.

So, when I realize I have gone back into a limited awareness as the information in and as my mind, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I notice how I am moving. Am I comparing, am I existing as definition about another, in relation to myself, which means I am defining myself, judging myself in a bubble, based on taught criteria so I don’t fall into the extreme as the side of the coin of poverty and starvation. I see where I am fearing to lose opportunity, and or believing I have to defend some accusation that would limit me as a definition,  and realize that this in total is not what I am here. I exist on a physical planet, that is life in form, as this is how life would be, and I look here, in common sense, which is the principle of what is best for all, and realize that limitations cannot define me, so to let them go, and stand here. ALone. I mean, if I cannot create and interact with others in ways that allow communication and understanding in ways that are at ease, where there is security and trust, I am wanting another to be responsible for me, to accept my limited and as such unstable response, the asking for the state of being not equal to here. If I can’t be responsible for myself here with certainty, then how can another be responsible if they end up carrying my lack of responsibility? As the form of what we are here as humans, the only choice is to allow the full potential of each to stand as such, because this is how we each become responsible. And as this is a physical world, what is needed to be responsible, such as clean water, education, opportunity, shelter, food - solid food, the absence of such is us not looking at what we are in common sense. And if we are not existing in common sense then we become separated from that which allows us to simply be here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand when and as I go into mind, and begin to compare instead of look here at the common sense of physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from here, from a common sense of here, into and as a very limited system of values, where I warp into an idea of a good and a bad, a loss and a gain, begin to compare, and compete, in ways that are protection and defense, instead of looking at the measure of the actual physical world that enables me to exist as life, and remeasure what exists as the whole, remediate to balance out the extremes of lack, as starvation, poverty, environmental degradation, limited insight from a lack of education and opportunity for development, to see, realize and understand that the very measure of the physical world as what I use to look here, has to slow down and breath to return to a sense that is a constant in all things as life and consider all things, that are the same as myself , of the same substance of and as life, and realize in thought , word and deed what would allow all men to stand in understanding of the whole, and in self responsibility for the immediate physical environment, to become a #waveofaction that withstands the test of time and builds an earthly existence that is in balance, realized in actually living on this planet where no matter where one went, the basic needs of every person was met, and as such, an earth that is living its full potential.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that where I live and what I live in defines me, as myself as an American, where this is extremely limited, as there are those who live in extreme poverty, and have no moment to self discover in dignity themselves as life in full potential.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I  compare myself to another, it is for me to slow down, to stop and to breath, and to realize the pattern of limited beliefs in separation from common sense of physical life formation and look at what is here and how what decisions I make can only be made in ways that are best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand when and as I find myself going into imagination to rebuild instead of remaining here, equal and one to and as the physical world as this is the real formation of and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not equalize myself to and as the physical, to become a sound mind awareness of and as the actual real physical world that is me, as I am it, as this is the very formation of life, here.

When and as I find I am no longer breathing I slow myself down, I look to what imagination, held tight, fleeting, I accepted and allowed, and I bring myself here, equal and one with and as the physical.

When and as I find myself fearing to lose some self definition based on a limited value system, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see , realize and understand that I can only be here, face what is directly here, and as such, to answer to here, which is to be responsible to here, the limited values in and as my mind, built in separation from a consideration of all life are an extremely limited measure of here and I see realize and understand that as such I separate myself from my full potential in and as life, here.

When and as I find myself allowing an emotional/feeling self definition, I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand the thought as an aspect of reality in judgement based on what is an idea only about one thing being more than another, and I stop and I breath, and I balance this into common sense of practical physical reality, within and as what would be best for all, as what would allow the full potential of life to exist.

When and as I find myself comparing myself to an idea, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that values I believe will define me for better or worse as idea, and I attend to the emotions and feelings and the beliefs that define them, and I see realize and understand that such cannot withstand the test of time as what is best for all, as what allows the expression of life to exist as the very sound of life information, that works in ways that do no harm, as this is the way and the means as the measure of life here.