Day 49 In-no-sense common sense
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry when I see abuse in this world, this angry righteousness, as though I am not responsible for acts that are abusive to this planet and all that exists on this earth, when, as a human I am either directly or indirectly involved as I have participated in this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in being here in this world, on this earth, in order to survive, I have participated within the current system, and thus have supported this system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have no awareness of how I came to be on this earth, so I cannot say that anything that is of this earth, that I am not directly involved in, does not have anything to do with myself, when the fact is that I am here and a part of this earth, within this I am responsible for what is here and what I participate within, so it is my responsibility to understand how this earth works, how this physical world works, especially when it is obvious that disease and abuse exist, and have continued to exist even though there are systems created and developed by humans that have not in fact cured disease, provided clean drinking water for all of this earth, taught children to become adults who can control themselves and develop into self perfected expressions of life on this planet, and that this is a clear indication that what is here on this earth is in fact not working and needs to be understood by each and every human being on this earth until there is no longer disease, and abuse to this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize, very clearly within myself, that the moment I am righteous about anything that I learn about this planet that is unacceptable, my righteousness does absolutely nothing to solve the unacceptable conditions on this earth, as righteousness has been the behavior of the human, in and as an act of blame and justification, spite and excuse and has not stopped what is unacceptable on this earth, thus this act of righteous behavior within my self is in fact not a solution, as blame is not self being a direction towards a change of practice on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to exist as a desire to want to blame other humans for behaviors of abuse, without understanding the nature and structure of the present system created by the hands of humans.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that young children have a very different set of behaviors than that of an adult in our society, which makes it clear that what the adult becomes is a behavior different than that of a child.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to stop and breath when I feel my self becoming righteous, as this is not a solution, it is only my self existing as fear and separation from understanding the totality of what has been accepted on this earth.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop and question the fact that I have allowed systems outside of myself to tell me how i should be, especially about my health, my education and my beliefs, and as I have done this, how can I possibly think I could raise a child when I have in fact abdicated my directives to a system that tells me that I need drugs to cure my self, that I need to go through an education system that has not in fact developed children to their full potential, especially when there are children that never even make it to school as they starve before this opportunity even comes into play.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in order for this system, this system that has not allowed an environment absent of war and abuse, to change, it will take the removal of inequality, and the reordering of how resources are used, that have been given freely by this earth, to support what this earth is in value, which is life, within this, re-ordering this earth involves becoming aware of how this system works, and then the steps, the order of steps, must be walked consistently, by many, to stand and restructure the very formation as our present system , to reform what is here into what will be best for all, into what supports what is here to become one and equal to the freely given resource that is this physical earth.
I commit my self to stop any and all feeling and reactions as righteousness within myself as this being of myself within as anger as righteousness is my self in frustration and fear, constriction and b(e)lame, where I no longer look at the consequences of a system of inequality and realize that what I am facing within and without are behaviors programmed through parents - the sins of the fathers- and the desire for profit and control - to maintain the profits of a few - that is the nature of the propagation of a fear of loss/ fear of survival.
I see realize and understand that the human, and myself, have not been taught to be life, but to be ignorant slaves within a system that must have ignorance in order to exist within what is presently allowed and accepted, created and maintained by a human, that is in contradiction to the nature of a freely giving earth that exists right under the very feet of the human and the system created/ordered/developed/maintained and upheld through those humans directing through control of paper money representing resource- freely given.
I commit my self to understand the order of what is imposed on this earth by the human, an order that is in contradiction to that which I am and that supports me, as this physical earth, where it is my responsibility to understand the human orders broadcast on this earth as that which is in contradiction to the abundance of this physical supportive world, and walk and direct my self in every moment as what is best for all, as I am life, and as life I am not innocence/in no sense, as I am one and equal to this world as life, and thus am I common sense, where this that I am as I am physical as is this earth has obviously been told by systems of control that I am innocence/in no sense, which if I look at how a tree - for example- works symbiotically with nature is in abundance as life as it is, this tree, in common sense and giving of itself freely - providing unconditionally as it has no signature of ownership, its only signature is of being in tandem with common sense of earth. Within this, I have separated my self as a human, as a humpty dumpty - as I the human, tell my self what I am in the stories I write that reflect myself to myself as this is how the mind works, must bring my self back from innocence/in no sense into and as common sense where my human physical body tells me the way to put my self back together, where I have the tools of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application to re order myself in common sense with this physical world.
I commit myself removing the behavioral contra-diction in-no-sense as self interest as profit-survival game through breathing, writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application, re-placing my self as life, sound and stable as common sense.