I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run away from the ego of men,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the ego of men.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I am now an adult and that my fears are based on childhood conditioning that I need no longer burden myself with in and as habit, as a habit I carry, as this is no longer necessary, as I am able to stand and face the being of a human, as life, and to apply the principle of oneness in equality here, within what is best for self is best for life, as what is real is this physical world, and not the alternate reality of a mind consciousness system of programmed roles habitual play in a system that develops “attitudes” believed to enable success within a system of profit that does not support life, does not realize that the value is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that whenever this feeling of physical comfort and desire comes up, I am in fact facing a habit of behavior, a “habit” of female subservience/ role play/personification of seeking emotional placating sympathy allowing a man to act the “knight in shining armor”/ helper/ manly man/ protector/ super hero/ big daddy/ show off/ rooster/ spiritual leader/ god head (lol)/ where I stop my self from being here and taking self responsibility, self honesty and interacting directly here in common sense with this physical world, as though I have some “blip” on some screen, as me, stopping my own physical oneness and equality common sense self here, where this “clinging/seeking/comfort/sympathy “blip” alternate reality has become an addictive need, and a picture show in and as my mind separating me from myself and causing me to develop personas to feed this desire that is in reality a blip on my life, where the blip has become greater than my self as life here, and the burden of this, the “entity” of this is consuming me and causing self disgust and self hatred as I abdicate myself as life,
Within this, I realize that the present system on earth places these constrictions to support a system of inequality, and separation from oneness and equality, uses these “habits” and “frocks” to bind the human to the needs of the “habits/frocks” to the point where the human becomes as the Barbie and Ken doll, the man being a personification of manly man-ness and the woman being the personification of the damself ( I meant to write damsel) in distress, where the man and the woman are not being here, one and equal to their human physical body in common sense of this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have probably missed many things in running to comfort and support because I had learned that one little surprise in my environment, of little frustration, of sudden unexpected change, of interaction that was my self learning to work and understand this physical world, as I developed a response of running for comfort, where later in life this came to be associated with sexual desire, and thus do I connect sexual desire to comfort from men, where men are not really seeking comfort but ejaculation, energy release, and the coupling of this with the fitting of an image onto this physical world, and are probably disgusted with themselves when the woman, the physical actual women, does not meet the alternate reality picture show in and as their minds, where they have become their “frocked” self as children, separate from this physical world, as being in common sense, just as much as I.
I forgive myself for not realizing that this entity/persona/presence bubble/projection is in fact what I was then as what I am now, that I endlessly repeat, as myself in separation from myself in common sense, sensing the world here, standing and facing, being one and equal to, this physical world, where as my self as life I stand and face what is here, I do not allow what is here to cause the reaction within myself as allowing a state where I become overwhelmed/ frightened/ non-seeing/ self justifying of my non-accepting of what is physically here in liu of some idea, belief, opinion/ constricted self., where within this even the tiniest of movement within myself as fear i stop and I breath and I forgive the labels as voices and fears of the mind consciousness system and I bring myself here, I do not allow myself to use the past as experiences to judge what is here, actually physically here, where I hear/see/ realize the mind speaks in loops making a singularity into a endless novel experience in and as energy and thus consumes my self, separates me from this physical world, and like a vampire sucks the life out of my human physical body leading to death and not myself becoming one and equal to life.
I commit my self to realizing physically, inwardly whenever i have this “pull” this emotional directive that is a separation from myself within my human physical body, which will also have a quality of fear and a conscious front of desire for that initial reception from the initial shock, moment of non-looking moving towards receiving of a petting sympathy outplay, where this habit must be walked through and removed to bring myself back to this physical world, and within this to realize that any and all emotions of self pity, are only a mind tantrum of not getting a tangental energetic loop that has in fact become the prison of life the separation of life from accepting what is here, physically here.
I commit myself to realizing the patterns of my behavior and to take this bull (shit) by the horns and becoming a self direct physical equal to this unconditionally giving earth, to speak about, write about, make comments about a system that allows life to bloom on this earth, to realize heaven on earth, to allow every child born to become one and equal to this physical world, to work in tandem with this physical world, to support what is the value here on this earth, life.
I commit myself to revealing the absolute atrocity of a profit based system, where there in no argument available in common sense as to why there exists starvation on this earth, where there is no excuse as to why men are killing themselves, as to why people are disfiguring and eating other people, as to why animals are being placed in a caged life of disease - and of that matter why humans are being fed rotten diseased flesh, as to why presidents get funding from pill makers seeking profits and stand on platforms with a devil shit eating grin saying they are bringing universal health care to the populace when their donations are coming from the pill makers, pill makers who create anti depressants that are mostly fluoride, when it is known that Hitler used fluoride to placate the unwanted, within this the goal is to create sustained income for the few and therefor not about health as health is not profitable or enslaveable.
I commit myself to, through writing , self forgiveness, corrective application, removing emotional/feeling polarities of more than and less than past influence as judgment, of the devil and the angel on my shoulder, of a morality play, as an unsubstantial story inconsiderate of this physical earth, of any and all righteousness as turning myself into a salvation voice of demanding immediate understanding of what the human has become to bring myself back to breath and the deconstruction process of my self as a construct of habitual energy, to walk the equalizing of life on this planet to realize the value is life, and thus to bring heaven on earth so that life can begin.