I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see an overview of how I have constructed my self to fit into this world, where many of my behaviors are built on reactions to this world as I was growing up within this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that when I was very little I clung to my father when I was fearful, and thus when I as an adult am fearful I begin to want to have a man to comfort me in my fear, as this is what I did as a very small child.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become the rejected princess, that very same child, who then reacted with indignation and anger at this rejection as another sister came into the world and became the princess, thus did I lose my princess status.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have rejected the wishes of my father when I became older because I was angry that what he wanted was to “show off” to his friends, and thus I refused to do what he asked.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that, like the stories I entertained myself with over and over again, the story of Jane Eyre and the story of Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice, I am perpetually being the rejected princess hoping for salvation within the norms as the roles of a woman within this system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I am torn between that which affected my mother’s generation, where woman were supposed to stand up and become Wonder Woman, and take on the world, thus do I move from one to the other and end up wanting to drive myself as my self forward and the wonder woman, and when I become firghtened and stressed, I am once again the little girl wanting comfort from my father, as he was the one that comforted me as a child.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that with my mother what I did was sit and listen to her worry and self pity, thus do I have this persona within and as me, a persona of worry and self pit. as I , a human, imitate the behaviors of those I am exposed to as a child.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have a pattern of behavior here within all of this, where I go from wanting comfort within feelings of anxiety and fear, and then I move into spite as wanting to be independent, and then when none of this works as I expect, I go into worry and self pity, and this spins around within and as me, this “string” of behaviors, that go no where and are myself existing within an emotional bubble, where all of us have this if we choose to stop and look.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that existing within this drama/behavior/emotional conditioning I am existing within limited resonant emotions and feelings as what I allow myself to exist as.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to immediately forgive this with each breath and bring myself back to what is physically here, as what is physically here is what is real, and had I learned to direct myself here as this realization that what is physically here is what is real, and had I grown up within a system that supports this physical existence, instead of the rape and greed to control and own this physical world that presently exists - that creates so much fear of survival - this whole dramatic imbedded behavior that I have experienced and carried with me, need not exist, and is what stops what is able to be developed as the human, capable of developing an expressive ability one and equal to the ability of the human physical body in full utilitarian capacity.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that the system that exists on this earth does not allow for the development of the human to its full capacity, and that in common sense there is no excuse for this.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize how I have become the behaviors of fear that are the reflection of a profit/greed based system that, just as with myself, is incredibly abusive and unacceptable and must be realigned to support life, as this earth is being destroyed and too many humans are starving, animals and humans are experiencing starvation and disease, when there is no excuse for this to exist.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see how I as the persona of what I am is constructed, to not stop and stand back and become aware of the patterns of my behavior, where should I do this, it will become very obvious that I am but a refraction in and as my behavior endlessly repeating itself again and again and again, and thus do I build my bubble around myself and diminish within my own self created stew of emotion and feeling that separates me from what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this present system of profit actually cultivates this stew of emotion and feeling that becomes the consuming bubble of my own acceptances and allowances, that diminishes me into a shriveled up white haired, sagging skin, aged human dying a death of no actual transcendence of death.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that many of the behaviors of children are simply a lack of ability to focus themselves here within actual reality one and equal to this physical world, where the separations cause reading problems and disease, evident in all the psychological labels created to define the lack of ability in our children to self direct as human behavior is becoming extreme in outplay of accepted and allowed separations.
I commit myself to realizing the patterns of my behavior, through realizing how I exist as personality, through the words I cry/speak as I interact with this world.
I commit myself to realizing that many of my responses to people I meet as I interact within this physical world are of fear, and are what I hide, as the hiding of myself as life takes constant voice to maintain the walls of what I hide, and thus is what I am as the behavior I exhibit, actually exposing what i fear, making what i am very obvious.
I commit myself to realizing the the behaviors I exist as are the same as what is accepted and allowed by the human, as the very images and projections of advertising and consumerism, that are broadcast on television screen/ media and the story as behavior reoccurring in every family circle on this earth that are what is taught and are what the human becomes that is an imposition and separation into partial existing away from and thus non-including what is real, this physical world.
I commit myself to writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to bring myself self equal and one to my physical human body, and to support an Equal Money System to realize the value of life and to stop the separation into and as limited consuming behaviors.
Life Reviews - Do you see yourself?
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