Day 73 The valley of the shadow of death. Emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that emotions are “storms in a teacup” and thus, show me where I am throwing a tantrum and wanting something I believe will solve all the worlds problems when in fact I am existing in and as my mind within a singularity that if I were to get everything my emotional and feeling tantrums desired I would soon find that the gain was short lived and thus nothing of any real value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to emotions and feelings, where if I were to really look at emotions and feelings I would see that when a person is lost within an emotion or feeling it tends to go on and on and on, and the person tends to stay within an emotion and feeling without resolution, and just as I do this as I spin something around in my mind endlessly, I end up nowhere, which is to say, now here, caught in the now of the emotion which is to say I end up nowhere.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and look at what emotions and feelings I am existing as, that are actually like being in a state of vertigo, and unless I pick myself up and direct myself I will be ineffective, and that every time I attempt to pick myself up from within an emotion I notice this feeling of fear and dread, like an ominous presence.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that on some level I am actually totally disgusted with myself for having allowed and accepted myself to become and be emotions and feelings and that I did this to get along, to join the group, to survive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that there are behaviors in men that are unacceptable, and thus to label such behaviors without solution is meaningless, which the human seems to do, to label and then feel grand because a name has been given, when this is an action that does not move beyond a singularity.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that much of what goes on in the human is giving everything a name and stopping at that, and were we to realize this, as perhaps this is what a false idol is, humanity might actually have learned to see consequence as having more revelation that the object.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that a movement as an action as what a human does that is inconsiderate of life is known as this, and thus there is no reason why there are people on this earth that are starving and being used as sex objects.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that emotions and feelings are my attachments to what I fear losing, and that what I fear losing is an illusion, as what life is is self direction as life, and the things around me that I believe I need to survive/sustain my physical, are all in fact given unconditionally by this earth, thus all the constructs of this world, that do not support this physical world are in fact a crime of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that all emotions and feelings are a fear of myself directing myself as life , here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the human gives conditionally, and not as self as life, because if the human gave unconditionally, then there would exist no fear of loss, that daughter and that son would be able to express without need for societal protections, without fear of abuse, without fear of evil as Christ said, “ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.”
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that it will take a majority, which is little more than half of the people who actually get up and vote, which is not that many in relations to the population, to walk together through the valley of the shadow of death fearing no evil - as this is what the emotions and feelings as storms in teacups actually are - to change this world system to one that supports life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that to change this world into one where every son and every daughter no longer has to walk on an earth that exists as the valley of the shadow of death, is the implementation of an equal money system, to walk of the process to bring heaven to earth. so that life can begin.
Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions and feelings in separation from myself as life, as allowing and accepting myself as life is to be the principle of oneness in equality, as giving as you would life to receive, where the shadows are but storms in teacups.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that emotions and feelings are self in separation from life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that what is here, this physical world is what is real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that catering to the emotions and feelings of others, without direction, as they are me and I am them, is to continue the existence of earth as the valley of the shadow of death, which is what much of earth presently exists as.
I commit myself to practicing being directive and forgiving myself to life, to being here, in and as breath.
I commit myself to, when I face an energetic emotion or feeling and any thought that comes up, to forgive myself to life, to the directive of what is best for all, to face the shadows as they are but shadows of life and not myself as life within and as the directive principle of what is best for all, which is my self as life, one and equal.
I commit myself to realizing that there is nothing to lose, there is not right or wrong, there is only what is best for all, and any excuse is an emotion and or a feeling in separation from life in and as a belief that something can be lost, where the shadows of this earth, as emotions and feelings, are the product of the fires of self separation from life; as within so without - thus is the abuse of this physical world the screams of hell as this physical world burns, consumed through the following by the human of the illusory projections of an invisible god and an invisible hand.
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