So, I have to bring myself back here to this physical world and take care of what is here practically, and when something does not go according to plan, simply stop and breath, look and move in common sense of what is here, not allowing the voices in my mind start a litany of worry about not getting something done according to some preconceived plan.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel overwhelmed within taking care of what is within my existence because things are not going according to some plan created as an idea in my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious when things suddenly appear that are not according to an idea in my mind, as a plan, that I must take care of.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look at what practically needs to be done within a time frame and then to feel anxious when things do no move according to plan and then allow myself to feel like what needs to be done is accumulating, not seeing realizing and understanding that what is here that physically needs to be cared for does not always fit into a plan I have created in my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am allowing myself to become upset when a plan does not move as the idea I have created in my mind, not seeing that this “becoming upset” is not directing myself within solutions, and is just myself judging what is not allowing the plan I have created in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that, at this point, a plan I have created in and as my mind, is not necessarily the problem, it is that I allow this plan/scaffold/outline to become more than life, and then try to fit this into life, when this plan is organizing what needs to be done generally to utilize my time and complete what I am doing, but this is just it, a plan is a general idea of what needs to be done, and not the actual walking of what needs to be done, where things can come up that were not considered, such as rain, or storms, thus my mind plan is not what considers this world, but is about what completes what needs to be done, as the steps necessary to walk practically, so it is an outline of what completes something only, leaving out the environment of this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that there are extenuating factors within what is involved in taking care of my home and children, such as nature and interactions with people, pets, wild animals etc. all of this a part of this world, thus this is what is here, and that plan remains, it just does not move from one point to another in some perfect rhythm as an idea as the picture of it, as it is about itself only within its requirements.
I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to become anxious when the picture in my mind, as my plan, is not moving as if it is all that exists.
I commit myself to stopping an breathing, and realizing that my plan, is just this, a plan to organize a series of steps within a limited scenario, such as caring for some physical thing in my life, and thus will not have a consideration for other extensions of reality, and thus moving as this plan only, as if it is all that exists is my self in separation from what is here, into an idea.
I commit myself to breathing , to seeing , realizing and understanding that I am here, that the steps to care for what is here remain, and not completing them as an idea within itself, does not necessitate anxiety, as my plan is about the steps necessary for one part of my existence and therefor must be flexible in its completion as the physical reality is here, and not this practical outline of what needs to be done, where the steps remain and thus are able to be walked, one step at a time.
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