Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Day 197 Friction/conflict is only limited choice

I become angry within interacting with society, where what is most frustrating is not being able to talk, or believing myself to not be heard, which sometimes turns out to not be true as people have come and said what I have said makes sense. Sometimes i am impatient and want an immediate response. I am an American and am conditioned to want to be served NOW and to want convenience. I forget that a huge tree does not grow over night, or in an instant. So, when I become frustrated within a memory, as I feel I have lost because I did not get immediate results, I must stop and breath and investigate what it means to produce something with long lasting effects, with the strength to be consistent as a directive principle, where I do not allow myself to become emotional and, as this, judgmental, allowing myself to go into a polarity of a belief in choices, where I then believe I could have done something differently, which is self judgement and self blame. Within this, all there is to do is investigate what was done and to realize what is here as what has been accepted and allowed and that allowing myself to become overwhelmed with ideas and memories, as self judgements, is not a solution. Here, it is to become equal and one with the judgements and realize they are the separations and the fears, and as blame, within or without, this blame must become one and equal and walked back into equality and oneness as what is best for all, because it really is fear, as it is the belief of a choice to deny- also, the pushing of a limited selection of insight, thus the cause of a conflict and friction within and as myself. The moment I allow myself to become overwhelmed by this, I stop and I breath, and I realize all I can do is investigate within understanding what is here, and equalizing myself with what is here and becoming absolutely directive within what is best for all. This will take time. Terra-forming myself one and equal to this physical world, so that fear is no longer what directs, as the physical is understood and one and equal to myself here.
We see this same action happening within the world, where the precautionary principle is circumnagivated through not allowing studies that tell another side and the use of the words “no significant difference,” meaning that there is a difference, within industry and products. It is like what is said, in known ignorance, “I don’t know of this,” or “ We have no documentation of this”. The paper world is a place to hide, through placing limited information onto the paper and presenting only this. Because something is not on that piece of paper within that administration, then it does not exist, even in the face of physical evidence, which ends up being labeled as “anecdotal” which does not make any sense because research data is a collection of anecdotes! Anecdotes are physical evidence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become overwhelmed with choice, where I go from one polarity to another believing that there is a choice, which is myself not wanting to walk through the superficial face values presented, where should I investigate such face values further I meet with having to stand up and point out what is not being looked at, which is only really a shock to that face value and nothing else.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have a choice, where I reject what is here and create friction within and as myself in avoiding what is here instead of accepting and investigating what is here as one and equal to myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the simplicity of facing what is here needs only common sense of what is here and any reactions are simply a choice as not wanting to face what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the facade of the bully is simply a fear that needs to be walked through, one and equal to myself here.
When and as I feel myself becoming overwhelmed I see, realize and understand that this is myself believing there is a choice, where any acceptance of this and response as this is myself not being honest with myself and instead looking for what will be the solution within relationships as to what is right and wrong in terms of survival within this present system as the being of having a choice means that I am in my mind and not here.

I commit myself to breathing, to slow myself down when I face friction and conflict within knowledge and information, where I, as what has been taught, see only the choices presented, instead of always checking/investigating and realizing that uncertainty is myself unaware of the whole, of what is best for all, and thus no decision can be made within the conflict as it is myself lost within a choice, as the only choice is what is best for all, and as I have no practice within and as this, I must stop and breath and bring myself back to what is physically here.
I commit myself to breathing, to realize that within breath, the uncertainty, as the conflict as the belief in choice, is what must be deconstructed and investigated, then corrected within the principle, as an absolute directive, of what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that I am life, and within this, the memories of the mind as the morality within relationships that serve the interest of survival within a system of inequality, present limited choices only within programmed personalities lacking a developed ( denied) common sense, and thus it is this limitation that is the prison and the cause of friction where the physical senses a lack of common sense as equality with this physical world.
I commit myself to no longer answer as the protection and defense of a personality as a program as what I have been taught, even when threatened with the personification of reaction as “ that is not polite” as what has been said to me within and without, to see, realize and understand that this is myself wanting the comfort of a energetic feeling, this feeling an answer as the mind, and not an answer in common sense of this physical world.
I commit myself to realize that the only peace/piece there is that is real, is oneness and equality with this physical world, where what is directly here as this physical world is what can be walked with and as, as this is what is real, here.

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