a widows journey to life: Day 219 Self validations within the presented

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within the consequences presented, abdicating myself as life, into and as accepting what is presented, and feelingoverwhelmed within confusion and frustration, as what is missing is not offered/presented within the context of what is real, this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the self validations as what is presented through all aspects of society and the training of this society, is limited within realizing the existence of expression and how this expression moves and what is here as this actual physical world, where the present system of consciousnessexcludes what is real in totality in favor of selected values fed a morality within the context of the human only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when in confusion, I have a physical feeling that there is no place to go, and thus I go into frustration, as what is here, as what is morally accepted and allowed considers the survival of men only, and ignores the actual physical world, thus, as within so without, a separation becomes what exists, with no direction within equal consideration, as the story is the more all within a singular dimension of men only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in becoming the moreall as the human, which is consciousness, I separate myself from the truemother and father as the earth and the sky, this being to total substance as the expression of life here, thus in ignorance do I deny myself as life, in favor of the resonance of what the human has projected through media, education, society on the substance of life here, thus I allow myself to give the authority of myself as life, to a limited system that in its limitation and ignorance of life, becomes friction and conflict in not having substance, as this being total movement within self equal and one to what is same as creation, which is the sound substance of life in all that exists, realizing this in equal measure within all existent.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a sense of vertigo within is myself falling in separation from myself as life as sound, where the all is the story that ends in the more as myself being one and equal as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present systemic morality is a more all, as men being the all, where in fact the exact opposite is what is real, where equal and one consideration for the “all” of existence is the more, as this is life as all existent in expression on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to save, though a mind that is consciousness, lost in thoughts and emotions and feelings, believing this possession to be what is real, having been trained/programmed to be this from day one within a system that generates this - meaning imposes and impulses this through the technologies created by men, even the social structures - what is then programmed into the child born without language and beliefs, and thus forcing the child into service to a moral for the human, where the human is caught as mind within polarities that have no answers because the answers are within a bubble of consideration of men only, of energetic separation as what energy is, as the consequence of separation, which is to look for solution within consequence, where all that manifests is blame, as the starting point was already of separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is not solution to be found within the outflow of consequence without looking through the consequence to the starting point, where what must be realized is the movement as direction within consideration of all that exists, as though this earth is the instrument of life, yes men seem to think they are the instrument, when they are a part of the instrument, and thus life is not being lived on this planet, as the systemic imposition of men as more separates from life, and thus causes consequences of destruction, instead of equal and one being with what is here as equal and one to man.