I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that my anger is justified when I do not get what I want.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I was being picked on, mistreated and unloved when I did not get what I wanted, or another got something, as one of my sisters, and I did not, and within this want the other to live the hurt - of rejection and loss- as what I perceived what was happening to be what was happening, having allowed awareness as energy as what was believed to be real as an expression of myself here on this earth as what i am as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have become reactions based on energy, automated, and have no idea that I am actually possessed by behavioral patterns, the source of which I have buried within and as my human physical body to the point where I cannot even remember why I have the emotion or feeling i have, unless I stop for a moment and look and then it becomes obvious that my behavior is unacceptable and has no solid principle.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a desire to hurt what I believe has caused hurt to and towards myself, my hurt being the denial of something i believe I must have, where my obsession and possession has an ambiguous idea within hurting what I perceive to have gained, thereby taking something from me.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the starving children whose lives are ruled by the takers controlling the resources of their lands, and the “haves” ignoring what is really going on, where the ignored do not even have time to consider what is going on on this planet as they are the carriers of the actual pain and hurt as they starve, as the takers are possessed with their spoils, not seeing realizing and understanding the destruction such acts cause, not realizing that they are a part of a whole, and the whole is an instrument of life, that has never been stable within and as life, realizing this behavior of ignorant take is destructive and not living, thus no one has actually lived, and cannot life until all of the parts of this earth are cared for and realized as one and equal in and as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that any thought of revenge, or retribution is myself acting within self interest.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost within this scenario.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in being a small child, I was considered a "princess" and believed this to be what I was, until this changed,as another princess came along and I was no longer the princess, where, the loss of this habituated state meant a change, and this sudden change felt like the death of me, a shock, and a belief was held that I had become a fallen angel, indicating that what I was, was not real, as it could be lost, and instead of realizing this, I allowed myself to become a fear that loss was what was real, and it was not.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become bitter and spiteful like a wicked witch in the woods, outcast and seeking retribution to and towards all princesses not seeing realizing and understanding that I was in fact punishing myself in wanting to punish them, as they are me, and I am them, when all around me, in the forest of my seeming isolation, is the fecundity of this earth, is life, and I am the donkey chasing a lost cause of no principle instead of realizing the life that sustains and supports me as me as the "forest surrounding me" here that which is real and allows me to understand life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my starting point was not in consideration of the whole, on a planet of humans that do not consider the whole, and thus all must be forgiven and this earth organized into a system that considers all existent here within and as the value being life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that revenge and retribution is an act of self destruction and thus an act of destruction to life and thus an act of destruction not only to myself but to all life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that an act of revenge and retribution is an act of revenge and retribution to myself and serves no other purpose, thus it is obvious how insane such a behavior is in fact.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the behavior of hurting another, and of wanting to hurt another is self abuse.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this desire to hurt another is detrimental, as thoughts, emotions and feelings, to my human physical body,as I go into combat instead of giving as what one would like to receive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this world must become this act of giving as one would like to receive, to walk what is best for all as this is what is best for self, where the journey will lead to understanding this physical world within and as each one having this understanding, as this is the gift of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a behavior of protection and defense, building a wall around myself, ignoring this world, not seeing , realizing that this very behavior is in separation from life and thus is lacking an understanding of life, and thus, all there is to do on this earth is to forgive what exists and reform the systems on earth into and as what is best for all, as this is the only choice to stop the behavior of destruction that is a perpetual motion of ignorance of life on earth and an occupation with a fear of loss.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that protest and occupation are one and the same as the "wicked witch" in the woods, an occupation with a loss of "princess" status, a busyness with fear, a being as ignorance made huge, and thus what is necessary to change this world through practical application within the capacity of self as life to stand and become the change, as all it takes is to investigate the existent structures to see, realize and understand how the instrument of the physical in fact functions, to create a world where the value is life, a world of realizing the equality and oneness in and as life here, the means of which is presented by desteni as an Equal Money system.
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