I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that “peace” is what will manifest if I keep myself aware of what the man is feeling within my existence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what the man will react as if a “peace” is not maintained within my immediate existence, not seeing realizing and understanding that this peace is not peace, and only serves the ideas of peace for the man, as in the not looking at what is actually physically real here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to learn how i should behave in order to ensure that peace is maintained in relation to the man/male within my immediate environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the events that created the construct of support for the man/male, society and class that I focus on in order to keep the peace within my immediate world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious and fear a loss of support for myself should I not uphold the present structure of what I have been taught to present myself as to allow myself to survive within a system of inequality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in actually supporting an idea of peace, using projections/stances of myself in relation to what I sense a man is feeling can never create a state of actual physical “peace” as it is in service to the emotions and feelings of the man, and not the man being self directed within and as himself in common sense of what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being emotionally attacked by a man.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I end up overwhelming myself and becoming uncertainty as I am allowing myself to follow that very personification that is a separation from what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot direct anyone but myself as life here, and that when I want to keep the peace, I will not be able to do so, as I cannot do this for another, I can suggest to focus on what is actually here in common sense, even within understanding how the present systems functions, but I cannot ultimately be the focus for another, as the “other” must realize focusing on what is here as themselves.
Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I cannot make another “un-anxious” as this must be done by self, where anything that simply placates a state of anxiousness is not actually confronting a state of anxiousness and looking at what it is in fact, as it is fear within a system of inequality, as fear of survival filled with ideas as to what will enable survival within this touted collective personification - accepted and allowed of inequality- and this on an earth that gives freely without any signature of ownership
When and as I see myself “bracing myself inwardly” in fear of upsetting a man, I see realize and understand that I cannot ‘upset” a man, and this action is really a protection defense learned in childhood against the behaviors of my father, himself possessed by a fear of loss.
I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to fear the wrath of a male becoming upset within himself and within this believing I must take care of my behavior in order to avoid this, as this has nothing to do with myself, and if anything, my reaction of self blame in relation to this, as what I am doing is trying to avoid the negative emotion.
When and as I see myself becoming a character of caution in relation to men, I stop and I breath, and I realize I am going into a character/energetic possession of wanting to placate and “save” where I see, realize and understand that this wanting to save is myself wanting to stop the emotion of the male in protection and defense as I believe and/or was not taught that I cannot stand up, one and equal to the emotion and clarify what exists here within self honesty, self direction and self trust, within a principle of oneness and quality as common sense of this physical world, where the only solution is to actually be physically present here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the polarities as emotions , thoughts and feelings are myself in fear, protection, defense of what is actually physically here in common sense one and equal to and as what is this physical world.
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