Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 179 Self validation

Day 179
Self Validation
Every moment I start talking about myself, I am in essence validating myself, as I have to describe, verbally to another what I am, which is in essence not allowing that person to actually see what I am, and instead I am dictating what I am. And most of the time, not wanting anyone else to talk, just so I can get all my words in as what I am wanting to be told. Makes me think of judges on benches. I had jury duty, and the “judge” gave a lecture at the end to the ones who were not placed through the lottery onto the jury, and gave a speech about how import the service was, and how the ones NOT chosen had missed an opportunity. Meanwhile, there were policemen in the room and no one in the crowd was allowed to talk. So the judge was talking about how wonderful is/was system - how successful- and how other countries are coming to America to learn the same model. Yet no one was allowed to speak up for or against this! And then he went on to talk about how wonderful democracy is. Meanwhile, the whole picture and interaction is the opposite of democracy. No one is allowed to talk, to raise their hand and speak, all that is actually physically taking place is a dictation from a bench on high talking about how wonderful this situation is.
I won’t go into the amount of abuse existent on earth at this moment, that is real, the point here is that a judge sitting on a bench TELLING me that this system is wonderful and not allowing any other voice, does not make this system wonderful when in actuality there is enough evidence that it is NOT. But then again, the need for the policement in the room, and the need for silence from anything other than the voice on the pedestal on the bench is a VERY CLEAR indication - of a structure and force of denial and suppression in self interest, that no words saying it is good can deny.
Which reveals that if something needs to say it is good, needs to validate itself as being something, then clearly it is actually an act of taking common sense away and placing/forcing that supposed “good.”
This is no different when I tell a story about myself, instead of directing myself in common sense of what is actually here.
Try becoming silent around people, and they will begin to validate themselves through incessant talking; and then try to change the topic, and -as the program has started -more than likely this will cause an upset, like the interruption of a tv show. And probably, any thing said in response by another person, is really a commercial in preparation as the commercial enterprise of the person responding. lol
In this case, the one who built and controls the judges bench, is the one who gets the their supposed imposed “good” to veil common sense. We are all allowing the validation of a collection of rules and laws that are protection/defense mechanisms that speak of themselves as good, as this must be imposed - so obvious in the NEED to substantiate this supposed “goodness”- because obviously “good” does not exist on this earth, this “good” imposition is touting itself as common sense, but the very need to “tout” belies the act. Common sense is common sense, with investigation and actual “here” seeing what is best is best for ALL. And that “ best for all” more than likely will not a dividend make. So, self validation divides and ends common sense, as it is the screaming of self interested justification. This is the character that must exist in a system of survival, as profit, this is the cry of survival in loss of common sense.
Yes, we are allowing a system that is really destructive and not supportive of life in any way. And it has to stop. The first step, is an equal money system, to organize a structure that supports life, so that we as life, can develop what we are as life in common sense.
I could never understand why my older sister held herself at a distance from myself and my sisters. One day, as a teenager I found a note book of hers. I opened it to a page, because I didn’t know what it was. I read a few lines and shut the book. It was a litany of how much my older sister hated her other sisters. I was not surprised, but seeing the words validated what I had “sensed” from her, yet was not supposed to believe as it was a “bad/negative” thought and that would not make me a proper “lady” so to speak.
I had come to the conclusion, that my sister was really just angry because she had lost her “special” place because my sister’s and I had been born. My older sister was missing her place as the ONLY one, as the one who got all the attention.
Here I am, 50 years old, and I read this in a blog of self forgiveness. Which means, if I have this realization somewhere, that many, many people have had this same common sense realization about the behaviors of people. This means that we all fucking know this. There is no excuse within this, that we don’t look at why this exists and wake up and look at what is here and figure this out and sort this world out. That behavior of my sister was horrible, and pointless and useless, for her and for me, for all of us. How was this what was given? Why was not, my sister as common sense as life, not what was developed?
My youngest sister had a princess status, as she was the last and a single child- I was a twin- until well into her teens. She will talk to no one in the family, and when she does she becomes hysterical, blaming all of us for not knowing how to LOVE her, that we are all to blame for her problems because we do not know how to love ( and yes, I hope she reads this- she has said that if I call her, she will call the police on me….yes).
In a way she is correct, we do not know how to “give as one would like to receive” as we are doing the same thing she is doing, wanting to revalidate our princess status, our feel good “ I am special” tonality as what we first experienced in life as small children. We can understand that we are doing this, but can we realize the beingness of ourselves as this and clean this up? Can we realize how much we have become this, and how separate we are physically from a development of ourselves within common sense? We cannot read this world, this physical world, we have no trust physically of our own common sense of this world. And the dictates surrounding us through media, individual social expression as reverberation of this very same dictate, the educational system etc., are all doing the same. Just as the judge on that bench talking about how this system - ironically composed of corporations that are now legally “individuals” - is wonderful. The media is the voice of corporations wanting to be “special” and good, ignoring the effects of this so obvious in the existential abuse on earth happening all around us every minute. All of this, separate from common sense of what is actually here, and all of it an imposed energetic storm of “feel good” being simply “touted” validation, which as I said above- is separate from common sense, as the need to do this, is the need to do this, and thus not life existing in and as common sense of what is real.
This is so freaking obvious, and thus it is so obvious that we collectively have to stand up and change this system and learn to exist in common sense of life, which we have never done.
My younger sister’s resonant princess status is so thick because it went on for so long, she has one giant fucking carrot in front of this donkey behavior she has no idea how to remove as she knows (knw=ows, okay I wrote this word by supposed mistake - but it is like a “knowledge that creates ows- like a pain!) nothing else as she does not know what she is as a “sound” divided and conquered by a “feel good” energy as this energy as self is the separation from self as life in common sense of life as what she is and we all are.
There is no one to blame in all this, there is only sorting this all out, self forgiving this, and stopping.
I was talking to a neighbor about this, and they understood and agreed and then went on to validate themselves by telling me their story - their memories.
But i am the same, I believe my story and memories are justified. To realize how much I am this very same action, takes some time to acknowledge and then clean up. And that self as that story, really resists its end, it has been going on for so long. It is like the television as mind, does not want to be turned off, all the things said and done through the years must be found out, these cobwebs of the mind, must be removed and realigned piece by piece. We each allowed this, so we each are responsible to clean this up, and anyway, no one else can “get into your closet as your mind” and clean this up. You, Humpty Dumpty, are the only one who can piece yourself back together again. To NOT do this, is to continue what has been allowed, and thus is to continue the abuse existent on earth, as what must be done, is to develop common sense in and as life, here, as what we all are, one and equal, as what supports us, as this is the gift, and stand as life, in common sense as life, here.
This “mind” fairy tale self is like the “f” in the word “fairy”, the “f” being a self bound to a cross ( as quantum mind), where the turn on the top of the “t” in the shape of the “f” is how you exist as a bowed head, in self abdication as life, to the fantasy “airs” as manners in separation from common sense of self as life.
Even our pictographs tell us what we are. The truth is always right in front of us, thus we need no judges on benches telling us what we are, and thus, is the very act of this telling, a signifier of the absence of common sense development.
Even those born in a situation where they were told they were “bad” from the beginning are of this belief, in and as energy, and are just as much in separation from common sense of self as life, as the ones born into a “princess/prince” energetic existence as belief, opinion and idea.
I know so many families that have an “estranged” sibling. It is a pattern that exists within my world, as I am sure it is the same in many many families. And it is the same story told again and again, and yet we are all caught up in our own emotions and feelings, that our relationship is to our own stories/emotions/feelings - that have become so HUGE- we cannot see that this is a pattern, and these emotions, thoughts and feelings are so loud, we do not “know” as what is resonant within us, anything else. And to, as I have said before, to stop this and step outside of this will feel like major resistance because this is what we have become, and this being as what we are, does not want to die- and it is not real, it is a fantasy in the mind.
Would such an existential state make communication flow between people? Is there real communication between people on this earth? Are your relationships equitable and without conflict, misunderstanding?
We know they are not: as least we have this little tiny tiny bit of common sense left. Is death the point where even this little tiny bit of common sense is gone? Is this the point where the fairy tale has consumed all of self so that all self is is this fantasy in separation from common sense of self as life?
It is time to understand self as mind. Join Desteni, listen to the Eqafe self perfection products. Realize that what exists, a profit based system - as what has been allowed- requires money to exist. Realize that suggesting “giving as one would like to receive” within this present accepted and allowed system does not exist. The very structure of this profit based system must change to become a system of equality that realizes the value is life.
And naturally, a profit based system is going to tout beliefs in all ways possible to keep telling it’s story, and it is not going to want to die. Creating religion and suggesting behaviors that are acts that make a “holier than thou” character end up placing that character on the street, or on a cross, into death where no effective change can happen. It is to not bite the hand that rocks the cradle, but to become the hand that rocks the cradle - of life that is earth as the humans, to birth life into and as the cradle in common sense of life, as this is the value.
Let’s begin with a structural system of equality as an Equal Money System.




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