I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought, that “ I can get though this and return to the seeming sanctuary of my home” where this goal in and as itself is a separation from life, and I cannot even remember why I would want such a thing as I am so caught up in living the belief that I no longer see beyond my own accepted and allowed drama in and as a reaction and protection defense, so busy battling for my own seeming security am I as mind as belief, as idea, the idea in and as itself a starting point of insecurity, thus do I manifest insecurity as what I am as life and within this not directing myself as life, in self trust, in self hONEsty, in and as life, here/hearing life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing my own sanctuary.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my seeming sanctuary - though it is necessary to have a home within this present system of inequality, as the very from accepted and allowed, it would be stupid to deny the reality of what has been accepted and allowed, and to realize that common sense within what has been allowed would mean to remain within this existential structure and stand up within and as it to sort it out from inequality to equality through an Equal Money system, as this is man actually physically proving himself to be worthy of life - as to imagine only voicing what should be done in a physical structure created and allowed by a collective and trying to live equality within this will lead no where and is an act denying the physical which is what is real- where it is obvious that the human collectively creates, and thus such a belief is an avoidance tactic, a protection and defense shield to not face what is here, what is actually, specifically what is here and is instead a way to hide within this massive destructive video game accepted and allowed by all administering to this web, where each and every participant can stand and implement an equal income to all existent and begin to stabilize what is here, to care for what is here as life, to get this world in order so that what we are as life can be realized.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine that when I am in public that I am being attacked.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not consider that the children of Syria and the middle east are in fact being attacked, and that as long as this exists there is no security in this world, as this is what is being accepted and allowed, and the desire for gain that is this action can develop anywhere on this earth, as this is an act to grab resource to allow one section of society to have more, just as Israel gets more aid that any other African country, which is an act of blatant racism an act of racing to get more resource without equal consideration in what is needed to sustain what is real, this physical world, where man has the opportunity to prove himself/herself equal to and one with life, as the value is life and a belief that one race is more than another is a separation from the actual real value, which is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all manner of justifications in the form of guilt and pity will be used to give unequal support on this earth, where the truth to this is that what is here has been accepted and allowed by all that is here, by every human, and thus are we to blame, and we place this blame onto different sections of society, instead of realizing the blame is on each of us, either directly or indirectly, as anything that supports and continues this unequal life support is just this, continued unequal life support, which must stop, as the behaviors developed that are unacceptable by the human, to plant, animal and human, are the outflow of survival which is what develops when what supports the very form of the human as life is not given. And all of this on a planet, as earth that gives freely.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to “dress” myself in an imagined movie of what I will face as I go out into the world, to “brace” myself to face the storm of behaviors of protection and defense , where I am supposed to maintain the peace through never saying something that will disturb or upset another person because I might “hurt their feelings” where in fact these “feelings” should be “hurt” as in seen for what they are, a self interested protection and defense mechanism to avoid seeing what is actually here in totality as simply this, not realizing a sense of what is common and of value in all that is here which is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imaginatively, through projecting- as in being in and as my mind- a story line sequence of what I will face, for-see what comes as I step outside of my sanctuary/home, to prepare myself for the storm of emotions and feelings I will face so as to be able to deal with what I am - as how I have been trained- to “tip-toe” around to keep a imposed supposed “happy face” to and towards the world, where it is my responsibility - supposedly- to placate emotions through agreeing with them in sympathy instead of taking that self interested - inner rested- emotion and bringing it back to here, to what actually exists on this earth as a system of inequality that each has accepted and allowed either directly or indirectly where this emotion and feeling made huge, is actually self avoiding, and it is this avoidance that is the drama, as protection and defense, imposed on life causing the abuse and inequality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I interact with others I begin to lose my breath, as I allow myself to become overwhelmed with the quantum mechanics as the mind, as all the knowledge and information - which is knowledge and information only- that was programmed into and as me as the directives of behavior taught by parents and society into and as a focus in separation from common sense of what is actually physically here, thus all these learned ideas, beliefs and opinions, as parts what is here, have become a directive in and as a blueprint to follow as knowledge and information as mind, and not actual investigative actual physical understanding as myself with what is actually here as what I am as life as a physical being, and thus do I lose my breath as I am not here, but moving as limited knowledge and information as idea in and as my mind, the being of which is following of past events aligned to a limited value system that is believed to determine my survival as this serves a profit based system as money and not what is real this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in losing my breath I am separating myself from here, to serve the very storm of emotion and feeling and thought that I run from, that I avoid, thus becoming and being the very same emotional drama that is what needs to be brought back to this physical world, the very same drama that is the cause of ignorance of this physical real actual world, and in not facing this storm of separation into and as mind I am abdicating myself as life and not equalizing myself to what is real, the physical, and only perpetuating an ignorance of life, as the physical, where the solution is to breath, and look at what is here, as this would be cool, and would allow myself to breath, to bring in cool and fresh air, thus it is to see that cool is phonetically look backwards, thus being here is being cool, and looking, clearing the horizon of a storm of separation from and as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the moment I begin to physically constrict within and as breath, I am separating myself from here, moving into and as fear, accepting and allowing behaviors of fear as belief, opinion and ideas in and as some form as a fear of loss, and am no longer equal and one with what is actually physically here, as what is real, as I can only direct myself here, equal and one, with and in breathing and remaining here, where no storm, as thoughts, emotions and feelings can actually separate/touch me unless I accept and allow this, my physical in union with and as my breath showing me my separation with and as what is life, which is the physical, thus am I actually always aware of my separation from here, from what is here, I am always aware of how I conduct and compose myself with here, and what actions I take that are not in common sense with what is actually here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to realizing every step in and as breath, equal and one to breath, to see, realize and understand how and when I allow my self to become an energetic storm in and as mind, as a connection to beliefs, opinions and ideas that are limited and composed of images as past events, as memories, where I judge myself according to values placed on past events that are themselves aligned to a system in separation from life, that serve a system of inequality as an imposed belief that life must be bought, this that is freely given.
I commit myself to realizing that a shortness of breath is a separation and thus an insecurity and thus a fear, an instability, a loss of common sense and the allowance of being overwhelmed within following limited beliefs, opinions and ideas known to be incomplete of common sense, here, where I feared losing a definition of myself having separated myself from the value as what I am which is life, here.
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