What barriers to I build in relation to this? What common sense do I withhold within myself in awareness of what is real here, to serve this? Is it just that common sense does not fit into expectations within an accepted morality? Is it that common sense denies platforms of validating experiences? And would I not be placing myself into a need to validate myself, where I feel that this is improper and then silently bask in sorrow as I have gone into a polarity of more than and less than within social constructs of behavior?
In many ways this focus on the state of the other is a desire for control within survival, as this is all that was perceived by myself to work with as how to exist within this survival based system of inequality, and also to use knowledge and information to “even the scales” as in taking a stand of lack and believing myself to be more in holding the sorrow to elevate the other, which is admitting to and accepting existential fear and instead of facing the fear trying to placate this fear, like running away from the fear, like resisting common sense.
So, it is like fearing being common sense. Is common sense what is taught to us? No. Common sense would mean learning about what is actually here. This is fear of being self as life, here. it is fear of communicating common sense. And this must stop with myself , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I accept and allow myself to fear common sense in and as life , here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to serve the personification of another in fear of judgement and isolation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the reactions of another to the point where I have even lied to not face the reactions of another for fear of punishment should I be self honest, which ends up being more detrimental to myself and others within my environment and thus is not worth it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared performing in common sense where I actually remember holding myself back because I believed that should I really go for it, it would be too much and too exposing and thus I had a voice in and as my mind tell me - one time when I performed- that I should not do this as I would be attacked - which I have written about before - and i see, realize and understand that this ended up creating a performance of constriction and self insecurity, as in not using common sense there was no real substance with which to express.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear common sense as though something will be lost, when the opposite is what is real as there is no choice but to exist within common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this feeling of sorrow to pour down my back physically within myself as thought that something may be lost should i exist within common sense, a fuzzy logic masking a fear of loss as an idea, belief, or opinion.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become like a paper dress up doll, where I copy and paste the behaviors in and as the role of the woman, taking on the sorrow, through accepting a less than stand of myself in and as admitting to existential sorrow through believing I need to support the other within the other remaining within and as a state of ease, thus existing as a polarity of more than and less than, creating a lack of common sense of what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in not standing fast within and as common sense, I create the very insecurity felt within and as myself here, and the insecurity within another, the very thing wanting to be avoided, being what manifests.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a separation from common sense, is what role play, as female and male, creates, thus that which is run to is that which creates the insecurity, as though the belief in the role as support is actually what creates the problem of separation and lack of communication.
I commit myself to breathing, to realizing what is the trigger into and as this association in focus to the emotions and feelings of another, which is going into control, and going into a believed self preservation instead of remaining here in common sense in and as life.
I commit myself to not see, realize and understand that self honesty can only exist within and as common sense of what is actually physically here, thus when and as I feel myself going into a sorrow, as a less than, as a sense of duty to ensure a perceived state of ease in another, I am in separation from common sense, and am allowing and accepting a belief that another must be made to remain happy, which admits to a state of “unhappy” as the potential, where this actually creates a relationship in separation from common sense, here and is not supportive of what is actually here.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that the only real support and the only real communication available is with what is actually physically here, as the alternative in and as wanting to control the state of another is in separation from here, and a practice that continues a non-substantive energetic based existence.
I commit myself to remaining within and as common sense of what is here, breathing, and no longer allowing myself to fear the judgements of others, as I am sure they will come in and as reaction to common sense,.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing, and understanding the common sense of oneness in equality through stopping and breathing when and as I notice a judgement from within or from without, directly or indirectly, as such is a fear of loss, illusory as nothing can be lost as life, where a judgement is a fear of loss, and or protection for a few, both an ignorance of the totality of what is here.
I commit myself to remaining here in common sense and to no longer fear the verbal backlash of the mind, as it is only the voice of experience based on a past within what was learned and passed down within a system of fuzzy logic and separation from life.
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