Day 271 Fear of speaking Imagination dimension

My imagination brought up a memory of listening to my parents arguing, where I had said they were saying the same thing. Which did nothing to change the arguing. I dont’t remember what they were arguing about, I remember that they did not listen to what I said , turned this into a big “boohoo” moment of self pity with the words “not listening to me.” Does this personification of this past event do anything what-so-ever to be a solution for that past event or what I am here? What I hold from this memory has no substance, no directive capacity, especially since I cannot remember the details of the conflict. What I remember is trying to stop the arguing. So my focus was not on the issue, it was of my own self interest. Thus this is a memory of a bevy of self interest, based on ideas. I mean even if my parents were saying the same thing with different words, this has to be moved through, clarified, the immediate problem within the situation - as what was probably being argued for that became buried under personal-ity emotional/feeling needs/fears of ego/self definition piled on top of what was the real problem - and it was probably about money/survival.
Conflict is polarities within a conflict, polarities seeking ascension. Opposition wanting to win. Something, some thing wanted. Apart from what is needed for the human and the inhabitants of this earth to be, including the plants and the animals and the soils, all this being what is here being the very support of what is here, of which the human can no longer see, as they are no longer aware of what is here, as the very media we have accepted and allowed distorts reality into making aspects of reality HUGE, ignoring practical living. The outcome is that no one is in fact practicing real physical living. Where what is magnified in our media warps reality and practical awareness of learning to interact, understand, communicate with, what is here, what is physically really here, is lost.
So, the warped reality presented by the media, is us, is what we have accepted and allowed. I mean, in all common sense, do animals fuck all day? According to so much of what is on the internet, in movies, is about fucking, about getting sex, some are a dialogue of values within getting sex, making it all right, but the end goal is getting sex. It is so warped that now sex is about getting a penis in every orifice possible. Is there really any sensation on many levels going on here? Obviously not. This warped desire is out of practical physical reality living, and the machine , as the human physical body, is separate from itself as life, and can only “read” limited sensations that are unsatisfying. It is like taking a perfect sensory machine and forcing it into a limited range of sensation, where that limited expression cannot possible release the very force moving the machine. Thus the machine goes hay-wire, as it cannot express itself fully, and end up burning itself up as it “unfulfilled” substance compounds and settles within, the settling building a personification using the same warped limited means of expression, which is brilliant in a way, as the very limitation is showing the plug, the limitation accepted, the separation from being aware of what is actually physically here, real, tangible. Thus this that is the “warp” must be forgiven, tempered back into awareness of the physical reality, where the “warp” will be lost, and what is real will be gained, the real being everything, awareness of everything. A human in full potential, being aware of here, practical, working with the gift of life, the physical world.
The mind, the image maker and the physical body holding this, has been clinging to limited values, and I said limited values, meaning the values are not “good or bad” - wanting a person to share your life with is not good or bad - a desire to interact with others is a part of this world, interaction with this physical world and all its forms is like playing in an orchestra. But we are not doing this, we have warped reality, and much of the world, the physical world, which is all of us, equally, is suffering because of it. And this is a crimeagainst life.
Thus, what is here on this earth, must be used practically, balanced, in common sense of what is needed to support life. The memories I have, are of me warping reality in self interest, in self pity, they are how I have separated myself into limited view points, unaware of what is real, physically practically real. And I am so used to the tension, the neurosis of this, that I no longer know silence and beingness, physical-absolute “peace”, direct communication with here in common sense.
It is time to stop the mind, the accumulated memories if taking things personally, self pity, me-mores, me lesses - the fears of loss, as this is self fearing not having , and what is it that self fears losing? That which is warped, as belief, opinion and idea, that is a distortion of reality, a separation from actual physical life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself sitting at the kitchen table in my childhood family house, where I take a picture in and as my mind, the image maker, and place a set of limited values onto this picture, energies of more than and less than, beliefs, opinions and ideas unequal to what is common sense of how the actual physical world practically exists functionally, and within this created a separation as a personality being a character of a judgement of a fear of losing something, as in not being noted as being more than, where, as in this memory, I became self pity in “not being listened to” that is in itself a limitation as this memory remembers myself without reference to what is practically physically real, as how what is here functions in form, this form the very support of life, the gift of life to breath, communicate, interact as being creative as an expression of life, that which is what we all are, here to simply be, breath, interact, communicate, express, transform, to sense the being of ourselves as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have limited myself within in not accepting this physical world in common sense,this gift that allows myself to become equal and one, in and as life here, where I equalize with the physical in common sense of what is supportive with and as the physical world, to express myself absolutely, as the organism as a whole, as earth, is the means to understand that life is the value, and not some secondary idea, as a secondary idea is a separation from the value as life as simply being here, as here is the only place I can exist, thus the physical is the gift of life, to be here, as this is really all that can be real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow memories, as images to be what is real, and within this to not realize that the cause of my separation from life, the cause of arguing, and self judgement, or any judgement, in and as what the mind voices, is myself, as i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is real, the substance of life, being equal and one in all physical manifestations on earth, this no one thing on this planet can be more or less than myself, and all that can exist in practice on earth is absolute respect and thus, care and support, for hat is physically here, absolutely, which needs to be implemented into a system that practices this absolute equality, to stop the warping of life, manifest as behaviors of conflict and friction, war and crime, starvation and animals abuse, soil erosion and water pollution, as the consequences of separation from how the actual real physical world functions, this anything that does not support this actual physical world is unacceptable, no matter how many bullying voicesor layers of bureaucracy have been created, as all of this must stop and a system that realizes the value is life, and must be supported as such, thus it is time, to implement a system of equality, equal support for all life on earth, where the capital of this earth is an expression of life, and must be utilized to support the expression of life, as this is the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become personifications of a belief in a “rightness”, where the moment i become this, I am in separation from what is here, as all I can do is focus myself here within and as what is practically physically here, and slow myself down and breath, to see, here, and then to express what is here in practical form, which will take patience and the development of common understanding of here, of which the physical world reveals, all that is needed is to be here, and thus within this, to allow any emotions and feelings as memories, that come into play as mind to be seen and forgiven as in correcting/aligning/equalizing through slowing down and breathing to forgive these as separations from what is here, as these emotions and feelings are self interested, self inter-rested in energy, as myself in separation from what is real as the value being life, where there is only here, in practical common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in separating myself from here, as this is what is taught as an accepted action of separation for generations as men on this earth of at-most-sphere/fear, I have, even when having a sense that something makes no sense, not followed through until that sense that something makes no sense, is answered, as I have allowed myself to desire to be right, just as my parents and those that came before me, as i have not been here, reading here, being one an equal to what is physically real, as what I am, as how I am here, accepting this physical world as life, as all life is life, and thus there can be no heaven andhell in separation, which would mean that this is a construction of separation, as all life would move as one, as the value being life absolutely, which can only happen here, in being here, at the very point of expression, as it is only here, that one can see and be, as the past is the past and not what is here.

I commit myself to slowing myself down, to bringing myself here, to what is real, to what is practical common sense living, as being life, here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to being physically present in common sense of what is here, as here is really all that the physical can exist as, communicate as.
I commit myself to, when and as i see pictures of myself, in and as my mind, in and as memory, to stop and to breath and to realize what emotions, thoughts and feelings I have accepted and allowed as the personification of myself here, that being what I allow as characters and thus imagine, as an alternate reality from here, to - once again- stop, and breath, and not fear this, but to stand equal and one in and as it, to recognize my own accepted and allowed separations as judgements of more than and less than, based on warped and distorted values taught as the present structure of resource/monetary profit, as idea, on paper, joined with “ what is for the common good” is incomplete, as profit has not been clearly defined, thus must this clarity be brought into the words used, the practices followed to equalize the statement of, for the common good, to be an understanding that the profit is being life, that the value is life, here.
I commit myself to breathing, to seeing realizing and understanding, when and as i find myself becoming emotional, or feeling excitement, or having thoughts of judgement, to stop and to breath, and to slow myself down to look at what is here as the actual physical world, and to realize that what is on paper is limited and spread out through layers of bureaucracy, which as a structure can be used to organize and distribute resources equally, in and as common sensically stabilizing the capital of this earth to support all life.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that when I am wanting to be validated, wanting to be “right” as in wanting acknowledgement, as being a memory, I am in fact in separation from here, I am rushing in desire, as desire is a distortion of reality into a more than, where this can be sensed as there is sense of falling as in being vertiginous, meaning “whirling around” as in not being stable, equal and one here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the use of any such statements as “ that is impossible,” or “I do not understand,” or “ that is utopia,” and or, any and all behaviors of aggressive bullying within or without, the exhibition of irritation, as an action in words with an emotional charge, that suggest what is being said or done is stupid, ignorant and or lacking in some way --without a corrective follow through directive, done with absolute desire for what is best for another, as what is best for all --are acts of ego and self interest, self inner-rest, in limited values separate from what is real, as this physical world, in common sense of what is best for all, thus what we/I have accepted as separation from common sense of what is real, here, the physical, is displayed in all behavior, in all words, in every moment, and thus, can nothing be hidden, as all is known, and the physical works in such brilliant ways, as a machine that expresses what is accepted and allowed as life, that all separation, all self interest, all existence of what one has accepted and allowed can be clearly seen, thus there is no hiding, and the belief in secrets is an illusion, thus, the idea that something must be kept secret, is actually an act in fear, and thus an act of self interest, an act of ignoring this actual physical world. It is as simple as that. You can run but you cannot hide.

Day 270 Equal Money Capitalism will end Pet Abandonment

Horses sent to slaughter in England as owners can no longer afford the high cost of feed.
Left Behind. The problem of abandoned pets.
Pets abandoned in the foreclosure crisis.

The Problem
Across America and in England people are no longer able to care for their pets. They do not financially have the means to take care of their pets. In America people who have lost their homes, due to the housing crisis, have left their pets behind.. In England, horses have been sent to the slaughter house because there was no longer enough money to support the purchase of what sustains a horse.
A system that allows money to determine what lives and what dies, a system that creates an inability to care for animals, for pets, is a system that has failed, a system that is not working. Such a system must, in all absolute common sense, stop.
Blaming the individual ONLY, or the politicians only, or the financial market only, without looking at everything that is here, in detail from the stance of each human being to the form of this present system that has placed a belief that life must be bought, is being myopic, as it ignores the fact that all the parts are a product of the whole scenario, the whole system. This also believes that one part changing will have some kind of magical effect on the whole. And it will not.
The animals of this earth, must have care within the form of this system that has been created by men. That we are leaving our pets behind in abandoned homes, and sending horses off to be slaughtered because we can no longer afford to feed them, is unacceptable. This is a huge red flag. This is an indication that we must stop what we are doing - what we have accepted as a system, and realign, reorganize, reform what we have created to ensure that this does not exist.

The Solution

Presently, money determines what lives and what dies. The tool of money serves an idea of profit. This profit idea rules the land. This is not working. This lacks principle. What supports life is known, what allows life to exist in ease is known. Studies of communities given a basic income grant have shown that people will care for their community, for their children and their homes. Thus, as humans, it is the nature of ourselves as life, to care for what is here, to enjoy what is here and to participate in life. If the means to exist are taken away, the behaviors as this life become behaviors of frustration and fear, leading to addiction and dis-ease, abandonment and abuse, greed and hoarding. Even a small amount of investigation will reveal this, as this is what is compounding on this earth. Life existing against the very nature of itself.
The principle of the nature of life, is to give as one would like to receive, which means to care for what is within one’s environment. This earth is our environment.
Thus a system of unequal distribution of the capital of this earth does not work, will not work. What is needed to support life, absolutely, is, in common sense the solution.
Equal Money Capitalism is a system that places this principle in practice. It is a solution based on the common sense that this physical existence has basic needs to exist. If these needs are taken away what is left is the behavior of destruction. Thus all behaviors of abuse, are due to lack. All behaviors of abuse are compounds of systemic failure. This means the present system is not working. And the solution is simple, to take what is here on earth to support what is absolutely needed for all life to exist. That support of life breeds behaviors of life, where life will stand and become autonomous as the life that it is and thus will care for what is here, as this is the nature of life in support. The value is life.

The Rewards
The rewards are that existence will become the nature of life, one and equal. That each individual part will become the nature of itself as life.
Animals will be cared for.
Homes will be cared for.
The environment will be cared for. If homes are cared for, they will last for generations, as we have homes on this earth that have lasted for generations. This leads to less resource use.
Children will attend school, meaning children will have the means to develop into their full potential as life, as what they are, all of them, equal and one, individual yet the same, as what is the value is that they are life. Period.
This means what is sustaining will come to be what is practiced, absolutely.
Equal Money Capitalism is the practice of respect for life, is the practice of supporting the  prevention being the cure.

Day 269 Fear of speaking Imagination dimension

Fear of speaking Imagination dimension
What occupies my imagination when I fear speaking, what play outs do I imagine in fear of loss /inferiority complex discovery, as my own ideology as a built personification.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine that my past will be discovered, a past that is not what is here, and that is a limited viewpoint within understanding how my mind is a collection of memories based on judgements that were the being of myself in separation from myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine that I cause discomfort within and as my environment, based on an idea of myself as being the cause of discomfort as what I defined myself as when hearing a story about how I behaved as a new born baby.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take it personally when another personification, based on judgements, bullies, where I superimpose a story from my past that is of judgement and ignorance of what is actually physically real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the projection , as memories, of the past, are not what is here, and that this is a manifestation of taking things personally and judging myself as being inferior.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create relationships to ideas, opinions and beliefs within, and to objects signifying ideas, opinions and beliefs without as a self definition, always searching for a definition of what i am, instead of realizing that i am here, as life, and thus can only move myself here, equal and one to what is here, as this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine that the behaviors of others define what I am here, within and as myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the behavior of my parents within my past was based on fear of survival.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my past of being criticized to be what I am here, as this is fear of judgement and thus, not being here in common sense, in self direction of myself here as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need self validation within directing myself here, in the form of praise.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not become intimate with myself here, as this is the only way to direct myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine a past of judgment as what is here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my image of the past is based on judgement, and is thus what i have allowed myself to be here, which is theexpectation of judgement, as I have not allowed myself to direct myself in self honesty, equal and one to what is physically here, have not allowed myself to investigate what is here, as me, as life.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that in fearing the manifestation of my past, this collection of self judgements based on behaviors of others, and roles of others, I exist within expectation of judgment and protect and defend against this, thus separating myself from being one and equal to, and self intimate with myself here, directing myself in common sense with what is here and also, seeing , realizing and understanding that this is how the mind at present functions and thus is the behavior humanity has accepted and allowed.
I commit myself to realizing that judgment limits, and thus, is not a definition of life, here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that imagination can be used to place myself here, within and as what is best for all.

In writing this out here, I have a memory come up of my parents arguing, and feeling so frustrated because they seemed to be saying the same thing, using different words. I was asked what I thought and I tried to tell them that they were both saying the same thing. Where of course this was not what was listened to, and they went on to argue their same words, as though they wanted their words to be what was “right” and not the intent behind the words.
I think this is why I studied music, as it was a way not to have to deal with words, as words seemed such a limited means of expression to me. Of course, it is not words that are “right or wrong” it is the desire to be “right” within using words, instead of realizing words as a means of communication, where it takes time to equalize understanding within definition of what is sounded as the words describing how here is being.
In this, words can only describe what is here, to forgive understanding of what is physically here.

Day 268 The happy face of the profit motive uses a projection of what is best for all, yet the directive is profit only.

The happy face of the profit motive uses a projection of what is best for all, yet the directive is profit only.

The state statue in the state of Massachusetts is to ensure the common good before profit. Yet within this equation of words is the method of deception and the cause of abuse on earth.
What in fact exists, is the face of what is best as the presentation only, even written in law, that profit must create a profit. What exists is the reverse, profit has the power and stands in voice only as what is best for all. Looking at the state of this world, the pollution, the crime, the starvation, the lack of health, the slaughter of animals, the eroding of the soils, it is obvious that what is best for all does not in fact exist.
And the present layers of bureaucracy exist within protection and defense of profit. These layers of supposed organization were ordered, as what is presented, to support the people, the earth, yet these are the walls of the castle of profit. These walls built by the hands of men, generations of men, are PRESENTly utilized to protect and defend, not support and care for the earth.
Yet, this is the point, the structures are here, the organization is here, and the reason for this organization is stated. Is it too hard to believe that this same structure need but remove one motive, and replace this with an equal action fitting to the words “ for the common good”?
This would mean, that theses layers of committees and “governing bodies” meant to ensure the common good actually practice this. The local, the regional, the continental, the hemispheric, the global systems in place need only move from protection and defense and allow life to flow to all, allow what sustains to flow to all, allow a communication that uses the actual physical world to see what exists and what is actually needed to support life to its fullest expression. We now have a a means to visibly show what exists on earth, we have the means to actually see what is the consequence of our actions. We also have a basic structure in place, that can distribute and organize the capital of this earth to flow as what is supportive and best for all.

If we look to what the media, the politicians project, we see a happy face, oh so “liberal” presentation. Always slogans of hope and stories of development, yet there is no absolute within this presentation existent. We are shown parts and not the whole. And if one asks the wall of protection why, the answer is the bully of protection and defense, as this is the language taught to what is an organizational structure hung with banners saying the opposite of what is behind the banner. The banner, the presentation, the happy face, the veneer, a picture of “for the common good”, but really a mask hiding protection and defense of fearing the expression of life.
This is the image and likeness of each of us. We have allowed a structure that is the reflection of ourselves. We are actually protecting and defending our own fear of being life.
On top of this, we have placed the words, that human nature cannot change, despite the fact that we develop humans to do such things as play musical instruments with great skill, that we take care of race horses to run like the wind. We show ourselves that we know how to develop, that we know the physical world is able to be developed and refined and taught, thus changed, transformed into something expressive and alive. Thus, we contradict ourselves and blind ourselves from the obvious, and get caught up in protection and defense, and all the while the answer is right here in front of us. It is in our stories, it is in our words, it is in our paper work, our definitions, right in front of our eyes. There is no magic in this, it is simply common sense, what we as life as the physical have been given, a gift to express ourselves as life. Simply being.
We can look at what we are as the behaviors we manifest and see that the dis-ease within is a constriction into a stance of protection and defense. This movement we have eachaccepted and allowed, and taught to our children can be directed and developed and supported to become a fully expressed life. This actual physical world, the tool, the means to sense self direction as life, as physical suppression as life is felt in and as dis-ease. All that we are is able to be sensed as we are the very substance of life, we are simply not using this within being equal and one to and as life, we are in reality protecting and defending our own fear of being ourselves as life. We are denying ourselves the gift of life.
This has gone on for so long, that it is systemic within the structures on earth, thus, to change this within and without, the way the capital of the earth is directed must change to what supports all life, leaving no one behind, as the earth is an organism that will only move/develop when all parts are in working order. Equal Money Capitalism is the means to turn this structure of protection and defense of profit into a system that supports what is best for all, as this is the only choice. A choice in practice that shows that the human has matured into being equal and one to and as life here. That the human has finally begun to understand that the value is life, that the human is willing to let go of fearing itself as life, to stopping fear based behaviors of protection and defense, and to finally stand equal and one, to and as what is best for all, what is for the common good, to be and become, respect and communicate, with and as life, here.
Walk the desteni lite process to realize how your emotions, thoughts and feelings are your underlying wall of protection and defense hidden behind a positive presentation of happiness, to realign yourself back to yourself as life. You have the will of introspection as a gift with which to do this.
Support an Equal Money System, to reverse what is here, to be and become an action of what is best for all, what is for the common good. The tools and the means are here. Self can stand as life.

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Day 267 Why poverty?

The Problem
One of the poorest 20 countries in the world has an abundant resource privately owned by a corporation that avoids local taxes through transfer pricing of this resource off shore within subsidiaries, a whole chain of them. Thus the profits from the sale of the resource at the end of the transfer pricing are much higher than the sale of the resource on shore.
Also, the electrical costs that are contracted to be paid by the state as the source of the origin of the resource take a huge chunk of the tax revenues based on the profit sales of the resource on shore that is privately owned by an offshore multinational corporation. The offshore country as the home of the multinational company benefits from the tax on the profits more than the country of resource origin. And meanwhile the local people from the resource rich country suffer, receiving little benefit from their own resources.
Then there is the web and layers of bureaucracy, both internally and internationally. Internally, there are local governments who lack education and staying power , as the economy of the country is not enough to support real development, as this structure of off shore multinationals take the resource and manipulate it’s value through varying sale price indexes across borders. This begs the question as to why the price does not remain the same globally, and what is it that has set up this structure as well?
Also, internally, there are layered environmental bureaucracies, always a distant group dictating standards to the local group. Thus the directives are divided from the physical place of production, out of reach, separate. In this case the separate environmental dictate, from a distance can avoid confrontation, and also from a distance say that data used is not public data. I mean what does this mean, not public data? How can something in common sense not be public data? How can such a concept even be accepted? Especially when it concerns an environment where locally there are people suffering from pollution caused by the resource extraction process. Remove the dictate source from the physical place of measure means hide the effects, hide the data, distance from the reality. Place what is public on paper and hide the results with the words, “ it is not public.” Meanwhile it IS public because it is actually, physically happening! What is this? Absolute abuse, absolute denial of that shit lying on the floor of your  house. It is like pretending the shit is not there. Absolute insanity, Unacceptable. Absolutely! There is no excuse for this, none. If someone tells me “ it is not public data” I know I am dealing with an insane, self interested, abusive, ignoramus, the absolute cause of all atrocity on this earth. There are NO excuses to justify this. NONE! Mother earth is louder than the f'ing shit hiding words of humans! Yes, one should be angry, as in saying enough is enough, and standing up and placing a system of equality on earth. There is absolutely no other choice. Period. Inequality must end it does not work, it does not care for life.
The local employees answer to the paper work, the dictates from the distant environmental agency. This is a structure meant to hide what is really going on, thus the layers of separation, as the layers of bureaucracy are a protection and defense of profit only, as direct confrontation means taking care of what is obvious within the physical environment.
Even the executives in the multinational headquarters avoid giving out data on effects of resource extraction, saying the data is not public. And then sending the seeker to the “distant from source” environmental agency. And then the bullying voice of “ that is the way it is” the information is “not public”. Well actually, yes it is public, as the public in the area of extraction is suffering.
So much money is made for a few, and the social networking of the few has influence on the political stage, enough to be granted pardons for illegal practices, because in effect, this whole scenario of taking resources from developing countries and keeping these countries in a perpetual state of development, serving this unequal profit system format , and hiding data within non-sensical words such as “ that data is not public” is simply the bully of profit. This all means that the present profit model really does not work. Simple.
Even when international committees audit practices of such multinationals, the multinationals have the power to ignore the findings and suggested practices that would benefit the countries where the resource originated. It becomes obvious that the origin of the resource cannot become stable and secure, as this stability would enable the country to understand the layered system of transferring the value of the resource off shore, the profits off shore, and would allow the ill effects of the resource extraction to be made public. This game of anonymity, as a belief in “ not public” is by its nature really just hiding greedy practices, not being responsible in common sense of earth, this that sustains life.
Yet all the figures within this grid are serving the established system based on profit, based on money determining life, this transfer of resource into digits as money in tandem with a profit based system. Once again, this does not work. Common sense and what is best for all is in direct contradiction to the present structure and belief of profit in self interest. What is best for all leads to self direction, self honesty. “ That data is not public” is not a statement of self honesty. Self honesty has nothing to hide. Self honesty does not act in self interest alone. Self honesty looks at what is physically present and not what is placed on paper only, and then hidden. Hiding in any form, is not self honesty. Thus it is a crime against life.
So the problem is that the resources of this earth serve profit in self interest alone, before the common good of the people and the earth, despite the fact that most constitutions are based on service to the common good to ensure that profit in self interest only is not the only drive.
We cannot blame the multinationals and the employees in government and industry, they are all wanting to survive and remain within the dictates of the hierarchy, stepping out of this will more than likely lead to a loss of money on an individual level, as money and how it is used at present determines who lives and who dies. Money needs to be used to support life in equality, realizing life is the value and has known needs in order to flourish.
The Solution
The solution is to realize that the value is already stated in most constitutions, as being what is for the common good, meaning what is best for all, meaning that we know the real value is life. What is here given freely by earth is the value and this value is life, supporting life, the capital of this earth can exist within a system that shares what supports life, as this is the value. A system of Equal Money Capitalism is just this, to provide for all that is here as life, within best practices to ensure that all life is taken care of and supported from a starting point of realizing what is here is equal as what is here is of the same starting point as the substance of life. Thus the profits of the resources and the supporting effects of resource use, are shared equally to support life, as this is the value.
The Rewards
Imagine care for this earth, where the fish are no longer toxic with mercury because best practices are actually lived in consideration of what is for the common good of all life, as life is the value?
To take what is here on this earth and to move this to support all life, as life being the value, means that no more shareholders have to worry about that dividend, as what is here is used to support life absolutely. No more judgement and separation, no more bullying and allowing children to suffer, as all life is valued and supported. What would this world become in such a scenario?
Imagine being able to go anywhere on this planet and not having to worry about pollution and abuse? What would it be like to no longer have to worry about dangerous areas? No more worry about crime and survival behaviors of robbery, no more exploitative behaviors as sexual abuse of innocent children.
We are all responsible for what exists on this earth, and it is this respons-ability we have written into our constitutions that we can create, as we created this system, thus we can create a system that supports life, within removing this present system of inequality and implementing a system of equality, where life is the value; what is for the common good as this earth and all its inhabitants is the only directive. The present pyramid scheme is not working, it has coupled the dimension of profit placed within money which is a secondary step, with a primary step of what is best for all physically, thus the starting point is based on a disconnect from what is real, it is a distorted equation and has created a distorted reality onto the actual physical world. This disconnect is accumulating destruction on this earth, and the effects are growing exponentially, so it is time to stand and support what is already in place, to do what is best for all, as the value is life. If everyone stood up and realized that this system is not working, which is obvious, and then voted in a system that takes what is here to support what is here in equality, as the value being life, this world could change in a very short period of time. And given the amount of abuse that presently exists, such a solution is the only choice, and the common sense of this is so simplistic it is astounding that this is ignored! Let us get this done, get this earth into a state of care for life, create a system that brings an end to the dis-ease here on earth. This is the only choice, to become equal and one , to and as life, as this is the value.

What is Capitalism redefined? From Economist's Journey To Life
"An economic system that recognizes each one's inherent self-value as being a part of Life, that recognizes this value of each being to be equal - and that strives to consider and support each one's value, because in supporting each one's value as a part of Life, we support Life as a whole - this including humans, animals, and nature."

Stealing Africa - Why Poverty?
Who is the corporation?
What does science say about how the physical world functions?
Equal Money

Day 266 Fear of speaking Thought dimension

I notice when I practice that I have a presence of someone watching me, my father or a “master teacher.” It is like I am waiting for the criticism and trying to gage this before it comes, looking for praise. So much so that I am not really focusing on what I am doing. I am paying attention to what another is thinking about me and what I am doing. This seems so huge and daunting. I have been doing this for a long time. Reminds me of being little and wondering where my father was in the house. Always this awareness. And the fear is unnecessary, as I have faced the criticism and lived through this, and even stood up for myself, and learned somewhat to direct myself despite this. What would happen is this presence of fear of criticism were brought back to myself , as myself directing myself? I can see where I cannot speak within this, my focus is not on speaking, not on myself, as being myself. My judgement is based on the response of another. I can sense this fear of letting this go, as though this is a protection I don’t want to give up. There is also a positive polarity attached to this, where I accept this as being okay because I will receive praise when I do well according to the judgement of another. This is placing a positive value onto/over a starting point of fear, a disconnect from myself as life, in self honest self direction as life. This then is a loss of common sense as myself directing myself absolutely being aware of myself equal and one to what is physically here, the only place I can direct myself. I can only deal with a “criticism” when it is given, and when it is given, I can then assess the common sense of it and direct myself, within what is best for all, within awareness of how the physical interaction as myself in common sense works, so expectation of criticism, sometimes masked as wanting praise, is pointless. This must stop within myself as I move, as the physical is here, and all I can do in common sense is look and begin to understand it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that being an expectation of criticism is a separation from common sense, as being in expectation is a state of separation from myself here being equal and one to and as what I am as a physical human being.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from myself into and as a projection of expectation, believing that I must protect myself having judged myself as “going to be criticized”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear criticism, to within this see, realize and understand that the physical moves in understandable ways, and thus what I can do is, in common sense, move with and equal to what is physically here, and direct myself here, even in the face of criticism.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a parent has expectations of a child that are themselves demands lacking an awareness of being one and equal to and as the physical and how this functions having not been raised to understand, and be equal to themselves as the physical and are themselves in fear, being separate from common sense of the physical and thus, have expectations without understanding the necessary steps to and towards self development in specificity that is patient and guiding, and thus make demands that they themselves have no practical awareness of.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in trying to meet demands that are not specific, confusion sets in, much like an animalbeing trained to perform, where the trainer forces the animal having no understanding of the physical, no communication in common sense of the physical, no intimacy equal and one to the actual physical in detail, and thus, as mind only, has a picture, as an idea of an outcome, and expects this outcome - that lacks common sense- to immediately manifest, placing stress and fear on the pupil/subject as the pupil/subject is left trying to meet the demands/picture/idea without direction or development within physical awareness, so this is like asking for perfection suddenly without, and this just being an idea, any awareness of how the physical moves to become equal and one to an idea, where even within this, there is no such thing as perfection, as being is expression equal and one to and as the physical as life, which is in a state of movement and thus continual transformation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that even within this, when impatience and demands are made, contrary ideas are often expressed, where it is said that one is impossible and stubborn, meaning unwilling change or transformation ( fast enough) and then at the same time being asked to change, which would only cause confusion as two different directives are being given to the physical and self as life, which would cause confusion and a “crash” much like a computer, as two opposing directives would be difficult for a child to answer to, especially from a starting point of non direction within common sense of how this physical world in fact functions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame such actions/behaviors, as such separation from what is real as the physical has been going on for generations, and is the sins of the fathers passed down, as such, this separation from physical reality must be forgiven and simply realigned, as the solution is the prevention and thus the only choice to end confusion and suffering, as what is demanded on earth is done in ignorance, thus it is to stop ignorance and support life, to become equal and one to and as the physical, to give what is wanted to be received, as what else is there but to become life.

I commit myself to stop and to breath, when and as I find myself in expectation of criticism, based on a personality that is a collection of behaviors from starting points of fear as being separate from myself in common sense of physical awareness and development, as myself as life equal and one to what is here physically and how this functions, where I can blame no one, as all that need be done is to align myself in common sense practically with what is real, the physical, that which is equal in all that is here, to see, realize and understand that fear is separation and judgement based on limited insight, and so, has no directive capacity as life.
I commit myself to, when and as I find myself having a thought of the presence of an adult or “master teacher” and what they might think, to stop and to breath, and to bring myself here, equal and one, through and as breath, to equalize myself to what is physically present and to practice in common sense directing myself here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing, to stand within myself as common sense of what is here, to no longer allow separation into and as fear, to pull myself back within a sense of vertigo, as fear, as judgement of inferiority or superiority, to stabilize myself here within physical awareness as what is best for all, with gentleness and humility, patience and calm as opposed to nervous anxiety and apprehensive tension, and to recognize every moment/breath of myself as physical separation in common sense of here.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, to breathing, to not allow thoughts, as images from the past, to direct myself here, to see, realize and understand that myself as life is able to move in common sense.

Day 265 The abuse of a lack of presence equal to the physical

An interlude (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I realize that when I am directly working with another person, I really tend not to judge them as much as when I am at a distance.
For example,I lived below an elderly woman who was probably on “blood thinners” because she would get these nose bleeds and show up at my door, blood running profusely out of her nose, asking for help. I would help here, I did not even think twice about the blood that was going everywhere. I just dealt with it, did not think about it.
After helping her and going back into my own space, it was then that I had reactions based on an idea of her blood having gotten onto my hands etc. Which went against all common sense, and even against my immediate reaction to her blood. What needed to be done, to help her, in the moment was all that i did, and if it meant getting some of her blood on me, so be it. I didn’t think about it.
Yet, afterwards the imagination went crazy, with fear, as play-outs of possibility. All kinds of conversations/thoughts running wild. Why does this woman come to me - what can I do, what if I catch something from her blood, how could I have touched her blood, why does she not call the paramedics, she just wants attention. So far in my life, as far as I can tell, when confronted with the immediacy of a situation, such reactions as my thoughts, are not even listened to. Do I have at least some integrity left, where common sense practically within the moment, is what continues to direct me?
I take this and I relate this to racism.
In my son’s fifth year of elementary school he had one black boy in his class ( now my children had grown up with a neighbor who was black and he was very close to my children). I think it was mid-year when my son started to come home and say to me , Mom, I am always working with X ( X was a black boy). I asked some questions but did not make a big deal about the situation. It was when my son persisted that I started to look at the situation some more.
What I found out was that the teacher paired students together during work, and my son was always paired with the black boy, and he had started, after half a school year, to want to be paired with others as well, not ONLY X.
Just about the time that I realized this, and I may have told my son to ask the teacher to pair him with other students as well, that the teacher called me and said, “ Your son is being difficult, he does not want to work with X.” So, I asked the teacher, has my son worked with X all year?. Is he not just asking to have some variation?”. This is when the teacher said to me, “ The other children will not work with X” ( now there are two levels here, one is that X was evidently not a very focused student and the other was that he was black) .
So, I said to the teacher, “ You mean to tell me that my son has to always work with this boy because none of the others will work with him?” , “ Are you allowing other students to form different pairs?”, “ Has my son worked with this boy all year?”, “ Is he just asking to have a chance to work with a different person, as he sees others doing, possibly?”
It did not matter what i said this teacher, like a fucking robot just kept saying the same thing to me, “ My son, is refusing to work with X”, “ He is being difficult”. I was astounded. To say the least.
I knew all the parents of these children, there were others boys that did the school work, there were other possibilities. There were parents of children that were “upstanding citizens of the community” in this class; one was the son of a teacher, and the other was a son of a successful business in town. There was no reason why the pairings could not exist within some variety.
I was simply asking the teacher to allow some variety, as what my son had seen and asked for.
Even when I pointed out that what she was telling me was racist, she persisted, she just kept saying that no one else would work with X - and even within this, if my son worked with X because the work got done, as X had difficulty in doing the work, having my son work with this boy because of this was in no way helping this boy begin to be able to do the work himself. This is racism intellectually as well, in assuming a situation where this boy’s inability to work was not addressed. Criminal really. And my son was being made out to be the criminal, despite all common sense being asked, it was completely ignored and no matter what i said this teacher seemed to not be able to stand outside of what she was saying. I ended up explaining to my son that all of this was really messed up and that he would have to work with this boy, because he was being made out to be the “ bad guy” and the ignorance was so thick, it was not worth it to fight this battle, even though I had made it clear to this teacher what she was saying. I got to the point where i would speak my mind, and then let it go, because the push back was of such ignorance, I alone could not change this.
In the class year book, this black boy X had, when asked the question of who he wanted to be when he grew up, “ I want to be Willy.” That is really sick. Some might make this into a “Hallmark moment” but this is NOT what this is. This is fucking sick, that a little black boy would perhaps finally have another boy look at him like a person, a boy that had no qualms about the color of his skin because he had had a childhood friend who was black and had never encountered aversion to a black skinned boy, and when he saw others in the group doing this, started to want to do something else, ( for various reasons , some of which were because of the racism) and thus was becoming aware that being with a black person meant not being able to be with others, as the reactions of others against this, meant that my son had then to become this too. How in the hell can a child deal with this? And being alone at that? These pressures, and this ignorance in lack of common sense of what is here! What other pressures exist on our children, so seemingly subtly enforced through silent borders not called out by name for what they really are? And is the conditioning the same, within myself, in that no matter what I said to this teacher, she just kept repeating the same ignorant party line of accepted ignorant division?
Now that i have ranted about that, back to my original point.
So, I was working with this young “black” boy. I reach out and I touch hisi hand ( his mother was there). I have no qualms about this boy, in the moment, he is simply a boy, a person, flesh and blood.
So, in this same elementary school, there was a scene with this “black boy” i am working with. He had evidently shit in his pants while in kindergarten one day, at recess.
Now, this boy had some anxiety problem, where he would hold in his feces. How this developed, was not discussed, not looked at, as we humans get emotional about everything, and do not look at how our physical bodies work in common sense, and give names to things, such as something like shit being disgusting - not realizing that shit is food waste and nothing else. (I can hear the retarded thinking that if shit is not disgusting then…. which means you are being emotional if this comes up within you, and you are a walking judgement without common sense)
So, this boy, who happens to have black skin, and some “held in anxiety” that affects him, which happens to be intestinal, during a point of calm, recess, suddenly defecates in his pants. What does the teacher here in this school do? She gets angry with this small human being, and tells him he did this on purpose, and makes him stand in the middle of the room until his mother comes to fetch him. Incredible, a teacher who cannot deal with shit- would she have done the same if this child was the son of the police officer parent, or teacher parent in the school? Of course not.
And it goes on and on, as I am here telling this story of no life, and I was told this story of no life, again and again by a distraught mother, meanwhile the same tension exists within the child. So nothing has been addressed, and the emotional anxiety continues via a memory, to be told again and again, the hurt being carried around like a burden. And so it goes. And this is so thick , this none common sensical action, that seeing through all of this and correcting it seems nearly impossible.
But this moment, the immediate, the here, this moment, when the blood is in front of me, and that little black hand is here, right in front of me, this blood is blood, this old woman needs help, this child is a child, the skin darker, yet the child is a human with a hand just like mine. In these here moments of common sense with what is actually simply real. All the thoughts, and the ideas and the fears and the emotions, are not real, they are ideas of something other than it is, they have no awareness in common sense of any dimension of life as what is physically real, not seeing what is actually here and how here functions in common sense, and placing a judgement onto something based on ideas lacking insight to what is physically real and how the actual physical functions, are imaginations based on no -looking, based on secondary borders of self interest, based on ahierarchy lacking understanding of the actual physical world, ideas that are superstitious, beliefs that are based on character development bred in a history of economic division, where the lack of physical support as a human, leads to diminishment in health and development, this then being carried out genetically as this lack develops physical diminishment, as the separation from “wholeness” remains until aligned. Which means that even a lack in vocabulary is passed from one generation to another ( and this in abody that resonates what is taught, as all that water with which the human is composed of the influence of one’s original home life and then stagnant) THis is the sins of the father being physically carried down with each generation based on environmental and social exposure inequality that was never ever taken care of, in ignorance of this actual physical world.
We are all the same. Yet we have imposed beliefs, ideas and opinions, in lack of common sense of what is real, this actual physical world, the gift of life.
Blood is blood, shit is shit, pigment is pigment, health is health, the physical requires proper sustenance - lack of proper sustenance leads to dis-ease - a LACK of ease.
In being racist, one does not only hurt the one being judged, one hurts self and all generations of children to come.

In fearing to clean up shit because it comes from a skin with pigment, the ignorance of self within how the actual physical works, where that child had developed an ignorance of self physically and created dark shadows of this in fear of understanding what was physically going on, as the emotions of the adult were what was shouted and cried, this being what was embedded within this child, lacking all common sense, and thus carried into kindergarten as never having been worked through in a stew of others being the same, one big fat compounded mess of separation from what is real, this physical world. This behavior, that is ignorance, that is what our mind consciousness is showing us, a tool to see what we have not seen in equality and oneness as what is real as the actual physical world, this behavior, as the one being the victim, of the one being the bully of limited awareness, perpetuates abuse. Abuse is ignorance. Period.
Simple.
This has to stop.
This economic hierarchy must be removed by what placed this here, what allowed this, what perpetuates this, which is the human, which is man.
The means are available to take care of life, to allow life to exist within full development. The means exists to allow life to be life, here, in expression.
Racism, classism, elitism, nationalism, is all a judgement in separation from life, all of it.
The behaviors that exist, are caused by lack, in not allowing healthful sustaining practices and in perpetuated beliefs that are a mirage embedded in the physical, a physical body able to hold resonances of limitation, energetic non sustaining, insubstantial movement that is the separation from life, as it is not living equal and one as life. What does not sustain, what is not realizing the physical and how it functions in common sense, is diminishing life, and this is the system at present on earth.
Time to wake up and realize beliefs, opinions and ideas are separations from life, they are what in self ignores the actual functioning of this physical world.
Thus, support of a system that equalizes care to all of earth, to all that is here, is to stand and support awareness of the physical world as life, as what is life, this meaning that all is life. Everything.
The only way to clean up life, is to take care of life, all of it, equally. This means this physical world.
Equal Money Capitalism is to realize this, a structure to realize this, to remove the superstitious judgements ignorant of this physical world. The mind dramas as picture shows are not real, the fantasy has nothing to do with what is here. As the mind takes pictures and if these pictures are composed of emotions and feelings, desires and wants ( just thinksexual obsession) these emotions and feelings and desires, obsessions, are a distortion of reality and thus a separation from what is real from what is fulfilling as life. Just as that child lacks in sustenance and is unable to develop to just BE, so that imaginary desire is never fulfilling because it is not considering what is physically real. Thus, the superficialis illusion, in separation from life. Yet, the simplicity of being one and equal to the physical world, would be fulfilling. It is like we are existing, in being mind only as memory, in reverse of life. One is perpetual seeking and longing, and the other is actual living where no more longing could exist.
Strand up, and support Equal Money Capitalism, take what is here, as being what supports life, and use this capital to support the value being life, where life is what is the capital existent on earth, as this is the real value, here.
The rewards of such a system benefit all. This is simple to realize if one takes the time to look. Slows down, uses common sense and actually looks.
There is a course, provided for free, by desteni, to walk one into seeing how emotions, thoughts and feelings are the reflection of self in separation, as judgement, as mind only, as what is determining this world or abuse. Thus, can one begin to realize self's existence in reverse of life.
Desteni I Process Lite. Check it out.

Day 264 Fear of speaking; thought dimension

crying baby (Photo credit: azfar ahmad | thepatahtumbuh)

A memory  of a story told often by my parents about me as a newborn baby.
Now I remember that there was another story from my first days here on earth. My parents had moved from California to the midwest. When my parents arrived in the midwest, my twin sister and I were born. In the process they had lived for a couple of months with my mother’s parents. The story is that I drove my grandfather crazy because I cried all night. I just cried and cried. I was evidently not a comfortable baby. I can remember this story being told, where my father would say that my grandfather would scream, “ Shut that baby up!”
So already, with my first days of birth I was hearing the words screamed through the house, “ shut that baby up! lol
So, as a baby something was very uncomfortable or shocking to me. And I wonder if it had something to do with things moving around in my intestines, for which as a tiny new born I had no understanding, and may be simply that the milk I was feeding on was not sitting well with me. I cannot remember this, perhaps this will come up from the depths.
Here I will forgive myself for these words, that are only a story told from my childhood about myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a memory, as a story, told by my father, about living in my grandparent’s house, where I evidently cried all night and drove my grandfather to scream out, “ Shut that baby up!”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have felt that i had caused problems because I had cried all night when I was first born and caused a memory for my parents where they told this story of how difficult it had been while staying at my grandparent’s house because I had cried all night and drove everyone crazy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe when I heard this story that I was a problem from the get go.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this story explains nothing about what was really going on, only about the emotions of one person and the demands made on another, not addressing or explaining why a baby would cry all night.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that perhaps this was when I began to find comfort from whatever was bothering me, from what was only a new sensation within my tiny human baby body, through being picked up and comforted so my grandfather could sleep, as he was known to go to sleep very early at night and wake up very early in the morning.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not have looked at this story in common sense , where all I heard was the retelling of the words ‘ shut that baby up” and how awful it had been because I had cried all night as a new born.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the retelling of this story, makes big how uncomfortable the people involved were and explains nothing about what was physically going on that would cause a baby to cry, or perhaps what was causing me to cry, left alone, and not paid so much attention to, ( although monitored somewhat because one never knows until one knows for sure) that what I was experiencing was just getting used to this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this emotion, when this story was told, of being embarrassed.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I had already, done something wrong when I was newly born, when I heard this story.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as causing problems based on a story, where within this story there was never any reflection on why I was crying, never any story about what might have been causing this, or if within any moment of surprise within myself as a new born baby encountering a physical world outside the womb, simply been picked up the moment i started crying, and comforted, thus I associated any reaction of surprise with being comforted and thus did not learn to face surprise within the unknown.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have judged myself as being inferior, within myself feeling embarrassed about a story told describing the early days of myself here on earth as a baby, where I had felt when this story was told that I was a problem the moment I was born.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that as a new born, I was either uncomfortable physiologically and whatever it was it was not addressed, or I was simply crying within becoming aware of things happening within my human physical body, and developed a response of crying until I was picked up and comforted, where i was picked up and comforted to be quieted so my grandfather could sleep and thus did not learn to address what might have been simply needing to get used to being here, as a baby.
I commit myself to realizing , within slowing myself down and breathing, when and as I feel that somehow there is something wrong with me, that my judgement is based on the way I perceived a story told by my parents, that described me as being a problem already at birth, a story that does not address what was going on physically and only expressed a memory of a past event as being a “difficult time” for my parents, as what was remembered was the grandfather yelling out.
I commit myself to, when and as a memory comes up from the past, to see, realize and understand where I placed a value of inferiority and to see, realize and understand the context within common sense of how the physical world functions, where i as a human organic robot operate in a certain way, and thus there really is no more than and less than, there is only the physical which follows functioning that is able to be understood, and this needs no ambiguous values placed onto what it is within being judged, and can therefor be addressed and understood.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that a crying baby means the baby is uncomfortable physically , or is reacting in surprise and if cared for, can be given an opportunity to self discover and learn to look and discover itself, here, where comforting as an immediate response, is not necessarily the best option, as a child can stop and realize it is not really hurt and self discover what is happening thus learning to face what is here in common sense instead of as a reaction that is met with comfort without diagnosis.
I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that memories with emotional attachments of self judgement, and or blame and spite, are a reaction of fear, where the behavior is a self interested justification without looking at what is happening within and as the physical world in common sense, where how the physical moves can be understood, as no real parent/supposed god, would not want awareness of life for their children, in all common sense. Period.