Day 285 Fear of speaking The behavior of commercial speak

I am rushing and thus I am missing what is here, as this consumerist society advertises promise, the promise of more, the promise of being more should one have what is offered and then that promise , the thing gotten does not satisfy as it was not the thing itself that was bought in practical common sense of what is here, but was promised something more. It is really being addicted to the “mystery” of the promise offered, and the excitement of this promise is the drug, a total separation from being one and equal to here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to participate within the excitement of the “promise” of more, my words directed towards this promise unless I listen to what it is that I speak in absolute detail.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get caught up in the promise of “more,” to exist within the whine of wanting more as a behavior instead of remaining here in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the promise of more, is just this, the energetic high of being within a dream/promise of “more” which is a total separation from reality, from being practically physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare men to one another, not seeing realizing and understanding that meanwhile I am constantly told that all men are the same, yet when I date a man, there is all this criticism about the man I am dating, thus, the drive, as what I am told to do, is to find a man, and that all men are the same, and then the switch to the criticism of the man and what he lacks, when a man is “found” , so there is this switch from “ all men are the same” to criticism of the man then chosen, all a driving force of name calling within limitations moving through different dimensions of life, with out addressing the life itself in practical common sense of what is here, enjoying the very substance of life here, from the small to the large, and thus the limitations of what is accepted and allowed and the process of criticizing those limitations is really ourselves telling ourselves of the very limitations we accept and allow, as the limited ideologies we accept is what we have become, the voice of what we allow being thevoice of what we are, and thus become we, the human, a limitation, and thus a stagnation, a separation from life here, ignoring the detail of here, separating from the actual physical world as its parts and the whole, and thus missing the very substance of what is here, the gift of life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when ever I criticize I am not actually here unless I move any and all label directing, immediately into and as what is best for all, in common sense, the moment I call something a less than and expect this less than to suddenly magically become a supposed “more than” without consideration of what I exist as or this system exists as, I am existing as limited judgement and demand only without awareness or directive capacity, as what is here, accepted and allowed is not in fact supporting this world.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am not in fact here, realizing that everything that is here is myself, equal and one, on a planet, a physical world. where the development of what is here is known and yet not followed, as profit for the few, the few seeking a “more than” scenario, themselves absolutely in separation from life, chasing the promise of “more” are literally mentally deranged within and as the illusion of the “ promise of more” that supposed material possessions will bring, when the gift is this actual physical world, where the process of self development and nurturing care of life, as what is needed to nurture life, to allow life to thrive and be an expression of life, is known, and thus this “state of being” that is “promise” of more is an illusion and this illusion is being broadcast through the media diverting the life here into and as the same distortion existent as those who have the control of what is presented by the media, as this system of money is a system of inequality and thus separation from here, economic inequality is a crime against life and a separation from the known needs that allow development of the human child, born without religion, without language, where the language taught as the various cultures of selected limited values, where the values are not good or bad, they are simply limited and warped into justifications of the limitations being a more than, when no culture on this planet has created a world that is best for all, thus the parts to build a world of heaven are here, yet the existent cultures are too busy ignoring what develops absolutely in favor of creating limited role play to allow parts of this world to have a more than, not seeing realizing and understanding that all life must develop and be a total expression of itself absolutely, as what is best for self is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this charade of “more-than-promise”, was created by each and every human, as anacceptance and allowance is what is used in each of us as a creation, and this, allowing a system of limited values that embed within as images and made huge as mind, isabusing the total capacity of the physical common sense of what is here, this seen in children at a young age when they rapidly learn, which is then shut down as the resonanceof limited ideas, beliefs and opinions of a promise of “more than”, this which is not aligned within the principle of what is best for all, of forgiving of self as life in expression as life, this resonance is the human physical body littered, polluted with the same limited ideas as images plastered all over this planet, and the existences of those that are living where resources are taken from the earth, places where the currency is systemically devalued to allow the profit monetarily to be transferred off shore, where some then present an idea of philanthropy on top of this, hiding this “first action/step” within then presenting philanthropy as “help” AFTER taking, and even here aligning the tiny amount given after taking within what will bring a profit, and thus are the lives existent on the earth not considered and only given a “commercial” voice as a story of doing supposed “good” to create a picture ONLY of a “more than” for the takers, a perpetual state of the promise of “more” for the few, a state of distortion and abuse of what is real, this actual physical world, which must stop, as this is a state of disease and it is causing disease on the ground to plant, animal and human, a crime against life, and yet, when each and every one of us chase an idea of a “more than promise” we are one and the same as this abuse, thus it is the responsibility of each and every one of us to stand and to realize the only choice is to create a system of equality, where all life is considered within and as the common sense of what is best for all, until what exists on this earth is a state of ease, equal in everysingle thing that is on the face of this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be and become the role play dictated by a consumerist profit driven society of promise, or a heavily religious society of promise should I only follow, and then will my rewards be “great” which is another illusive “promise: causing waiting and hoping and charity in the face of being self interested in gain for the “promise” and the development of the actual physical existence here, is ignored, which is so delusional, so abusive, so ignorant, and so unacceptable, as the value is life, and it is to realize within this that there is no other choice, there is not excuse, no reasoning that can deny that the value is life, that to deny life support is to deny life, and thus is a crime against life, especially when that denial is based on some idea in and as the mind, as belief, and opinion based on some illusion that no one has ever seen.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within this consumerist society, the promise of an object elevating a human is a separation because it is being human as being physically here that is the gift, and yet a picture of the human as this or that, has been taught as being more than, instead of the fact that it is being here physically that is the value, and yet the imagery of the human all dressed up and/or sitting next to some elevated person as an image “promising more” in some supposed after life” is what is taught, so busy is the human with this ideology, a supposed charitable giving, as the advertising all over this world is “free” in that one can walk down the street and see this, thus the dictates are all over the place seemingly “free” when in fact they are not because one cannot live without money, and how we are allowing money to “flow” is allowing all this - ( I was in a communist country when I was 10 or 11, and it was very quiet, no pictures all over the place, thus it was peaceful. It took a while to realize the difference) we the human have allowed the shit that is plastered all over this planet, we have allowed the limitations that are sent across the screens of the technology and the screens of the mind, and thus we are the cause of a separation from life, here this actual physical world, that is what is real that is what supports us, we have programmed ourselves and are programming our children with a limited program that is in separation from common sense of the actual physical world, which is a crime against life, and it is becoming obvious that nature is no longer going to put up with the human, as the human has not proved themselves worthy of life, just go and research the viruses beginning to develop.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand where and how I started to separate from myself into and as a promise of a more than, instead of enjoying the actual physical world in common sense, which means being one and equal to and as this actual physical world, respecting all of this world, as this physical world is life, and thus what is real and the very gift of life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that any and all speaking and giving of words that are misleading the human away from common sense of this actual physical world are a crime against life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that speaking up about how words used are misleading, will cause massive reactions within and as people around me, and yet there is no choice, as the chasing of the promise must stop, must be brought back to common sense of this actual physical world, as this is standing up for and as life here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding, that there is running but there is no hiding, so forget about this, and forgive yourself to what is best for all, equal and one, as the value being life here, and thus all life here, as earth must be cared for as this is the way to life, in all common sense.
I commit myself to, instead of making decision for another, to stop and to breath, and to direct in such a way that common sense of here is what is used, to the best of my ability, as i have been taught to chase after the “promise” of more, and keep this in secret, not for the hope of it, but because I know, and we all know, that what we are doing is a crime against life, thus present silence is really shame for accepting and allowing an addiction to a promise of more, instead of being here, equal and one to and as life, thus reactive behaviors are really the exposure of the running to a promise of supposed “more”, and our silence is laden with shame, instead of a silence of peace, as ease, as being present equal and one, to and as life, in equality and oneness, here.