Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day 289 Fear of speaking Reaction dimension cont.

Fear of Speaking Reaction Dimension cont.
I was talking with someone and I went into a reaction with them. I had asked them a simple question and they reacted, then I reacted. I was in essence aggravated that they reacted, becoming accusatory without addressing what was asked, as addressing what was asked was not something wanting to be faced, it meant looking at what had beenaccepted and allowed, it meant then standing up and realizing what is here. So many times I have had such behaviors thrown at me, they are a bully in self defense, projecting indignation, which is what i become and am, I have set the tone and I am getting what I am “setting” within myself, a behavior I have allowed to become a habit, infearior to what is here, in fear because I cannot describe what is here, the space as the movement is not part of the vocabulary, the understanding of what is here is not realized, off goes a sense of vertigo, a physical sense of vertigo, and the means of sensing this is shut down, as judgement as mind has set in. There is no starting point of equality with me, I am too busy being angry, being infearior, being in fear, all behaviors of lack in common sense of here, all behaviors of running away from self as life, all behaviors of not wanting to give up the ghost of the machine, a belief that someone else will solve, an idea that somehow -as if my magic- things will work themselves out, an opinion that humans cannotchange things because of “ this being the way it is” or that a limited “nature” is in fact nature - this in itself ignoring that what is labeled as nature is life, and the life of the human is such despite the fact that children are not born with religion and speech and will imitate their environment, as is known with children raised in the wild by animals, known as feral children. There are so many strings of excuses and all of them the voice of denial, an excuse having no direction as it is an end game, a lack of conception, an expression of limited sense, thus it is just the voice of mimicking a dictate - like what a machine does, a machine is produced to perform a certain action, thus the giving up to a limited idea that things cannot change/transform/realize is a belief as a recitation of doctrine and thus a program, meanwhile what is fueling the voice of this? We are humans fueling the voice of this, and since we cannot replicate what we are - given what we do build as machines- how can we allow others to decide for us when they obviously have no real understanding of life? So, why do we have a system that is deciding that money determines who lives and who dies, within a lack of understanding this physical human body? Thus none of us is greater than, more than this actual physical world, and it is by far the greater, and we are taking this physical world and deciding who gets sustenance from it, we are deciding to take from it without consideration of life as this physical world. Instead of working with this physical world, we are working against it, we work against that to which we are inferior, while this physical world reveals itself, as we can know how t works, it is forgiving and revealing and transparent, we know what pollutes the waters, we know what causes dis-ease in cows, we know that we can work with the sun, etc. and yet we ignore this for the continuation of a profit based system. We know that usury does not work, Christ made this obvious , and even Hitler proved that getting rid of debt supported the people, and yet the presentation of Hitler is only of obviously unacceptable reactive behaviors  - not to say that it was a perfect system and a solution, but that the part as usury does not work, it creates economic slavery. Slavery is abuse, it is not developing/supporting life in all, as one as life, as equal. By focusing on what was bad ONLY and not looking at the parts that worked, as what was good, and having others in our world blow up the "bad" ONLY and bully this onto existence, is the development of confusion, of emotional reactions, unsupportive of life.
We/I have allowed the ghost of the machine to become god, and it is all illusion, as belief, opinion and idea, I am, when I become emotional, reacting to an illusion, the illusion built of a collection of ideas that are a limited composition of what is here, this is why it is seemingly confusing to realize self as life, because the elements of this composition are of life, they are simply broken into bits/bites, so I feel like I am attacking life, yet this is not the case. Break life into bits, spread this around, divide it between peoples as limited values made huge ( and notice I use the same practice as language LIMITED values) where the value is a part of life, thus not to be denied, yet when held onto as the only value, and made a dictate within the tool of the mind as imag-iner/image maker, then trying to suggest that this is something to “give up” is seen as a threat and ignorance, when what is trying to be said is that this is simply out of context of this actual physical world, meaning it is something that cannot be lost as it is here and can be lived and does not need to be placed within a tradition as a culture, as it is a part of this physical world. So, taking values out of context, as here, and carrying them around and defining oneself as them is warping reality, is distorting here, like magnification does, it distorts reality, it is like looking at another dimension that is here, yet within looking through the shaft of the lens of the magnification one is “distorting reality” - so to speak. And this is what the media is doing by plastering pictures of 15 - and even younger - girls/children all over the streets with pixels that create pictures and songs of “love”, this a separation from being in equality to what is real here. I mean taking a cow and forcing something other than what that cow is geared to eat, is going to make that cow sick, or that chicken sick if that chicken is forced to physically grow in distorted and warped ways in ignorance of the physical world, a world we cannot create as the knowledge and information we exist as. We are inferior to the physical world, and yet we act as though we are superior, and this, even if it were the other way- is inequality to life, as it is all life, here.
So what we have programed the mind to be, is a distortion of reality, and a few are profiting from this, as they themselves are a program of distortion. Thus must we for give ourselves back to this physical world in commons sense of what is best for all, as what is best for this physical world is best for us as we are one and equal in and as this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to speak in and as self interest infearior to here, to realizing and moving and living equal and one, in and as common sense of what is real as this actual physical world and how it exists, to see, realize and understand that the present system of inequality is an abusive distortion of reality, where the mind as image tool is made reality as this is a means of control in and as a separation from life, as being inferior to and as life as what we are here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to behaviors of life here, that are in separation of common sense of what is physically here, where the present system is a ghost as a machine of magnifying parts of this physical existence, that are of value, yet when placed conceptually out of context and followed as dictates the living existence of the human is no longer equal and one to and as life, in common sense of this actual physical world, this mind greater than physical existence a separation from a relationship of equality, meaning realizing here as the physical being equal and one, this equality being equal to and as life, here, as equality and oneness, in believing no one thing to be more than another, is the expression of and as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself not to see, realize and understand my own behaviors of separation from and as life, with and as every breath I take, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself not to see, realize and understand behaviors of separation within and without, where facing the fear as separation as survival management is lack of direction as life regulation in common sense of being one and equal to and as the physical world as earth, this separation manifest as emotions, thoughtsand feelings as energy polarized through judgements of more than and less than beliefs, opinions and ideas, that are fear of loss, leading to justification as positive feelings of pride, righteousness, needs used to define a positive state that is short lived indicating the lack of substance and sustain ability in expression of self as life, as such short lived desires lack an absolute purpose in and as the principle of what is best for all, as the being of self in separation from what is best for all is to be separate from the nature of life as being life absolutely, in totality, here, absolutely self honest, absolutely self directed, absolutely at ease, where the speaking of self is equal and one to and as here, as what is best for all can only be seen in common sense, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a system of separation in and as bureaucracies determining life based on statistics on a piece of paper, within a system of profit, is the same structure without as the mind has become as the human within, where dictates are followed that try and fit a profit for the few onto reality, the physical warped into a an expression of profit as being a belief that parts of this physical world are of a more than, this being a god personification that by nature is a separation from equality and oneness as self as life, as the very substance that is equal and one in all that is here as earth, as this is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the physical world as earth is the gift of life, here as all that is here is the very fabric in and as life, thus, blaming and spiting what is here is an act of ignorance, of protest for how here exists and thus a separation of self realizing self as the directive capacity in and as life, which means realignment into equality with this physical world, as this physical world being used to support all life in equality and oneness here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself as life, with every word I speak, to remain equal and one to fear within and without, to direct within and as what is best for all, without reaction as blame and spite, and to realize such behaviors within and to stop and to breath and to bring myself back to a state of ease, where nothing is taken personally, which everyone of us has experienced at one time or another in our lives, thus it is a question to ask oneself, “ why did I not react “that time” yet, i reacted “ this time?”
I commit myself to realize that I can slow myself down and recognize my own separations with and as every breath, at least to realize when I am allowing and accepting behaviors of separation in and as an emotional storm as energy as this being the signature of separation from myself as life, based on my past, enacting a projection of loss into the future, which means I have become inequality to and as life, and have no substantive ability to direct myself within and as self honesty.
I commit myself to breathing, and to walking the steps to equalize myself to and as life, to develop my own physical common sense in and as life, here which takes myself breathing and slowing down to become aware of the space here as life, every inch, every detail, which will take a process, as this has not been what was taught, as the very fabric of myself as life, is able to sense the very fabric of life here as the physical, in all common sense, as what real supposed god would have it any other way as life is the value.

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