I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse the waters of my human physical body, to compose ideas opinions and beliefs in and as memories of how I should look and be, which manifest as emotions and feeling in separation from what is actually physically here, a me moralizing within limited insights of this physical world, turning myself into a light bulb of ideas that are inconsiderate of all life on this planet, where I am the judge of what is more than and less than, forgetting that I am of the same substance as all that is here as earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to dream, to spin, to exist as, memories based on ideas of how I should look, of how I am supposed to respond and support emotions and feelings in others, of how I am supposed to take care of myself as my immediate physical existence, where I consider only my own immediate circle without understanding of this physical world, as I have not been taught to direct myself as my physical, within and as this physical world, in equality with this physical world, but to imitate the values and images that are rampant on this earth in and as the entertainment presented within a system of survival that is the creation of lack to create fear for survival, created and imposed as what is real by those few who benefit from getting the view from the top of the pyramid, where they themselves are no longer on this earth, and thus become an all seeing eye to survive, which in being an all seeing eye they themselves are not life, but in a state of perpetual defense which is manifested as war on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be so angry about all this that I wonder off into talking about the world and move away from cleaning up the emotions and feelings, as my own accepted and allowed separations, which must be done to enable me to walk through the valley of this shadowy earth with a clarity of myself as what is real, life, where no emotion and feeling and thought exists, as this is my indicators of separation from myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel overwhelmed with organizing myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like I am juggling too many things, where the juggling become a burden and knot as I crash and fall in emotion.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I can only do things one step at a time, and that within this I bring myself here one and equal to what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that walking this is a burden.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of “ I have too much to do.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this idea of “ I have too much to do” to become an emotion of self pity as I start to compare myself to what I have been taught is how I should be, where I go into the whole “ how i am supposed to be as an image as a woman within a system where women need men, when what needs be done has nothing to do with this entertaining romantic ideology as what is supposed to be imposed as belief onto what I am actually as life here in this moment being here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in wanting and believing myself to need this emotion of romance, to have the qualities of what I believe I lack as a female, to move within my world, I am comparing myself to an idea, and thus eliminating my own expression and the joy of myself as life here, in abdication of myself as life into and as idea and belief of how I should appear, taking on moralities in separation from this physical, actual, real world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a movie in and as my mind where I turn all my worries and fears, my wants and desires into and as a cast of characters all interacting with one another and playing a crying role only of what they are, instead of bringing this all back to self as pointing out to each character that they are me in separation from myself and that divided we fall, united we stand and that we are all equal and one, acting in fear, becoming separate from life from here, allowing an emotional storm, the personification of separation and thus a cast of characters defending their own wants, needs and desires, a war as a protection defense mechanism as the drama in and as what I allow myself to exist as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my feeling of being overwhelmed is my self not looking at what is physical actually here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my feeling of being overwhelmed is my self wanting to fulfill an image.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe there is something I must achieve.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is in the being of myself here, that within and as the directiveness of myself here as breath is where I can take a step.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to maintain myself within and as breath here, in every moment.
I commit myself to stopping and breathing in each moment to begin to sense anxiety, realizing that my anxiety of myself is feeling I am unable to deal with this physical world.
I commit myself to remaining in and as breath, to bring myself here, to notice and forgive all thoughts, emotions and feelings, as the smoke screen, as the movie in and as my mind, that is the separation from myself here as life.
I commit myself to breathing, to seeing the defenses I accept and allow to push away anything that does not fit into my me morality as what was learned to accept or reject as I judge what is here based on moralities of class and culture, race and faith, where I do not see the physical reality of what is here.
I commit myself to breath, to living and being thankful through an action of accepting what is here as the physical world, with which I am one and equal, and remaining within and as breath, to bring all characters back to life as life.
I commit myself to slowing myself down in and as breath when ever anxiety as feeling overwhelmed, emoting overwhelmedness becomes myself as mind here.
I commit myself to becoming one and equal in and as breath, here.