I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a hollywood movie in and as my mind about everything in and as my life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all the movies as stories in and as my mind are a coloratura of a belief, opinion and idea of more than, in separation from what is actually physically here, where these embellishments are made real, and the actual physical world is ignored, where the actual physical has more embellishments and coloratura than any mind imagery could possibly “en-vision” in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created mind movies and stories to support myself here, as I was afraid of here and within this actually became a “raid” of here, as taking from that which was forgiving, as what I am, and using this to hide in a separate reality, as a separation, from directing myself in and as, one and equal to, what was here as myself, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that many of the movies in and as my mind where/are of hope, where I sought a dream of success and accolade by and with my imaginary audience, following the dictates of a world that glorified in bright lights fame and FORTUNE, meaning the accumulation of money to survive.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see that in maintaining this alternate reality, mind movies as what motivated myself to move here within this physical reality, I denied myself myself as life and thus denied myself one on one interaction with all of myself as all that is here, as all that is here is an expression of life, one and equal to me, and thus different parts of myself as varied and more fluid than any alternate reality limited and stagnant mind imagery.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in allowing myself to exist as my mind, I abdicated myself as life to singular two dimensional energetic dream land imagery and thus began chasing an idol and left all the joy of myself as life, depressed and suppressed, confined and sequestered into and as a tiny coffin as a box of shadows, composed of emotions and feelings and thoughts, a web of strings woven with worry beads of memories, from which I pulled experiences from my past to direct my future, all the while ignoring what was actually here in and as this physical world of which I am one and equal to here as this is myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the self forgiveness, writing, and corrective application process, as the DIP course offered by desteni is to clean up this alternate reality, to bring myself as life back to what is real, this physical world, to stop the mind imagery from taking the life in and as me, where I end up committing suicide as this is what all dis-ease - as dis-ease is separation from life- in fact actually is.
i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that in being a desire I am in ignorance of this physical world, as no real “god” would deny life, and thus is life here, all that is needed is here, it is only an idea that I desire, where this very idea as desire is used within this accepted and allowed profit based system to create and build an army of followers for the few who have developed characters that allow them to take all that is here for their mind alternate reality existence manifestation, and everything else that is here is made to serve the alternate reality movies and stories of the few, where this is not even this “elite” ( those whose energetic lights have full feeding resource for their “lights” - lol) groups real self expression as life, themselves not existing in and as the full capacity of themselves as life in and as the real joy of life as life is oneness in equality, as this is what will bring heaven on earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that denying the physical world is the ultimate racism, where the human knows that racism is a survival-defense mechanism on a grand scale, where one color is pitted against another, this being used and enflamed to allow a few alternate reality movies and stories to sit in luxury and watch their dream performances in physical comfort, while they are slowly diminishing to come to the same point of death as the mind alternate reality when the physical can no longer support the alternate mind reality movie.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within myself, allowing and accepting myself to feel sad about this is myself as belief in and as sadness, and not myself being here, one and equal to what I am, the physical, in absolute equality and oneness, where the strings of separation, as the strings of accumulation , where I have depressed myself into and as emotion, thoughts and feelings that are separate from what is actually here, as this physical world is the real instrument of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that this is too hard to decompose, these collected experiences in and as emotions and feelings collected into an album in and as a collection of characters developing a personality with which I project what it is that I am onto this world in order to survive within a system of inequality demanding subservience to limited ideas, belief, and opinion to allow a few a fully air conditioned, plush movie theater to view their movies composed of their past, where sex is needed and turned into an expression of release of built up energy and no longer the self here, expressing self as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my emotions, thoughts and feelings are my collection of beads I spin in and as my mind, my religion bracelet, bought and utilized to keep me within a limited system to profit/survival, in separation of myself as life, as myself as the physical, as how I have allowed my physical self to direct myself as life here, where the outcome is dis-ease resplendent as what is presently existing on this earth, an existence of myself in separation from myself as life, as breath, as being one and equal as this physical world.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that any desire of gain is myself in separation, as in wanting more, I am not one and equal to what is actually here as what is here is life, as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that all jealousy, spite, blame is myself defending my own separations, defending my own imaginary world, my own stories, my own movies.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize I am a character of fearing attack.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am constantly being attacked.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have movies in and as my mind of the potential of attack by a race, by another cultural ideology, by what my neighbor believes to be what is more than, by what my family believes to be more than, by what men believe to be more than.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that within this I am defending what I believe, remaining stagnant within an idea and not looking at what is actually physically here and directing myself within common sense that we are all same, and thus what is best for all is the only choice, as this sameness of life, where the values - as belief , opinion and idea, are - are simply this, a different color, no single one greater than the other.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am only being attacked if I allow myself to be, as this is myself defending instead of being one and equal to the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for me, is best for all, as I am one and equal as life, to all, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that a survival/profit based system, grabs all resource for the gain of the few, thus within this system on this world, takes all support and defense away from many, leaving them to suffer in a world where there is plenty, as enough to support the life that is here exists.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that 52% of the American GDP is used on defense instead of as support for life, which is leading to a dis-eased existence for what is on this planet, and thus, I as myself, with the resources being pulled towards defense for the few to profit, am as an American becoming economically depressed - which is what war and defense is really about which many soldiers are now standing up and saying is unacceptable and where many soldiers cannot participate within as most soldiers on the battle front are unable to shoot directly at their supposed opponents and thus what the system does is create an indirect video game out of war by creating drones where men sit in a box on a distant continent and shoot at civilians that are basically in the way of the resource, and then these same men playing essentially what appears to be a video game, go home to their children as though their children are greater than other children, when these same men do not even understand where they come from and leave this understanding up to some imaginary god they have never seen.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the same system that builds the guns within this world, which must be the top 1% of this world that owns all resources, and thus know full well where they want their guns sent, as war is about resource acquisition despite life, needs the support of men, and as men, it is up to us to stand and realize conflict and war are not life, so easily seen and understood in the fact that most men in war are unable to shoot directly at their supposed opponent as they realize that all that is here is life, and it is only greed that is the creation of defense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I have been programmed by a system of greed, creating an illusion of lack.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding my own defenses based on beliefs , opinions and ideas, where what I believe I can lose is the illusion.
I commit myself to remaining in and as breath, and as I walk my day, to step out of the character of believing myself to be attacked, and to practice addressing the belief in attack by others, to practice speaking within and as breath in common sense of what is best for all, visible in myself and/or the other relaxing within themselves almost like a sense of relief to no longer have to support what is known as a temper tantrum of gain in separation of what is real.
I commit myself to breathing with every step here, to self realize oneness in equality with and as this physical world.
I commit myself recognizing my own line of defense characters and stepping out in union with breath to no longer participate in protecting a personality, as a persona is a projected and accepted movie of self in separation from life.
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