Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 92 The I am trapped character



Day 93 The I am trapped character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the I feel trapped, with no way out character.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is no way out and that I am trapped.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on an idea that I am trapped, that I can no longer see the solution that is right here in front of me, which is, and can be, only one step, and thus this feeling that I am trapped is my self, as well, wanting expectations to all be automatically filled and completed.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within a system of survival and competition, debt is used to keep an individual trapped into fearing change, as change might mean a loss of money and income with which to sustain oneself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that without change there is no self development.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this character of belief that I am trapped, is accepting and allowing conditions and limitations in fearing loss of what is believed to be good and bad in and as how I live and where I live.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that my mind runs through possible scenarios of change, and eliminated changes that do not fit the picture of what is easy, what is known, what is acceptable according to a family belief system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that, like in the movie “ the Cube” there are many characters that are trapped within this cube and yet only one gets out, the supposed “idiot.”
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the trap is my belief , opinion and idea in and as my mind based on the morality of my past.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am only trapped if I accept and allow perpetual ideas as control of outcome, where I am so busy eliminating what is not known and thus comfortable that I resist seeing anything that is outside of my own conditioning.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my trap is self created.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that patterns of my conditioning is what I am holding onto and thus creating a trap in and as the movement of myself here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my trap is essentially a fear of change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that a way out of this trap is impossible.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this trap I believe I am within is myself not wanting to let go of the past.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this trap I believe I am within is my self fearing making changes for which I will be judged as less than.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that in taking the steps necessary to change, to walk out of this accepted and allowed and believed “trap” I will lose friends and will eventually be told. “I told you so.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the future, the unknown, which is not unknown, it is the illusion that things will be different outside of the trap of my own beliefs.
I forgive myself for allowing the voice of the character that says, “ I can't go on” to be the directive of myself, instead of realizing that the only choice is the voice of principle, as what is best for all is best for self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the voice of spite, denigrating an object or another outside of myself as the cause of my trap, which can only be what traps if I accept and allow it.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to blame, to justify my own trap, and my own belief – in separation from what is real as this physical world – where I allow an opinion to be the ammunition to remain within my trap, to defend not having to change and let go of comfortable behaviors.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to petrify into and as accusation as an excuse to not look beyond my own limitations, my own trap, my own accepted and allowed care actor  of personal beliefs, opinions and ideas, an illusion to step beyond to become equal to what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the confines of my trap are what I know, and thus leaving my trap may cause the end of my own survival and lead to a failure, where it is the trap, as accepted beliefs, ideas and opinions that have lead to myself  being caught within a trap, and thus in believing myself to be in a trap, and yet not wanting to let go of what brought me into this trap, is what I fear losing, and in all common sense I am actually clinging to the bars of my own created cage, fearing to lose that which is the trap.


I commit myself to no longer see the walls of my own trap.
I commit myself to realizing that my trap is my self carrying the burden of my past as memorabilia to attempt to carry with me.

I commit myself to realizing that my trap is my social conditioning, my cultural conditioning, and my personality conditioning based on accepted and allowed beliefs of what I am from childhood in relation to values that are not the value of life.
I commit myself to realizing that this physical world as life is the value, and not a picture and idea of how things should be according to family, class, society, personal beliefs, opinions and ideas.
I commit myself to realize that the fears within and as myself have no value as life, and within this that the fears of others have no value as life as they are the walls of the trap which I believe will send me falling, yet when I look at where I will fall to, there is nothing there, just an idea of fuzzy logic and no clarity.
I commit myself to realizing that the voice in and as my mind, the voice that says, 'you can't do that' is the very wall creating the trap.
i commit myself to realizing that the veil of friction and con-flict are the illusion of loss and not what is physically real here.
I commit myself to communicating within friction and conflict as the fear that is the veil of illusion, a shower of seeming vertigo, where as I breath I realize that my feet have never left the ground as I am here, as I am life, as I am oneness in equality one and equal as the physical , here.



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