Day 33 Ordinariness
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe I have to much to do.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I cannot get things done in time.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to focus on a list of things I need to get done instead of being physically practically here taking things one step at a time as this is all I can do as what I physically am here as a human being with two arms and two legs, where physically there is only so much I can do as this, where realizing this will allow me to stop worrying and planning and instead simply walk through what I can physically do in one moment and breath and be here and enjoy what I am doing here in this moment.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I have completed many projects, thus to do this I simply take what needs to be done one step at a time and have fun with what i am doing, not worrying about making mistakes, simply breathing and using my common sense here.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize from a memory, where i became anxious as I was directing a group of men, where the men stopped working, and I could not get them to continue, and they ignored me, so I went to do the work my self without compliant, and what followed was that one by one the men came and started working and in no time the job was done.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am waisting time and breath existing as the mind in feeling like I have too much to do.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have an attitude of life being difficult because on top of all of this two huge willow trees fell in my yard and now on top of everything else, I have to rent a chain saw and take care of these two trees, when actually going out and spending a day in the yard taking care of these fallen trees can be fun.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I have to rush, where rushing will end up causing more problems because I will not have been present in common sense in and as the moment and instead be moving my self as “wanting to finish.”
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have the same approach when talking with my mother and father, in wanting results when I am talking with someone who dismisses things they do not know and want to talk about what they know within certain relationships, where they believe there is no connection between politics and finance, for instance, and realize that understanding may not come in one conversation, where simple points can be brought out and left to be continued at a later time.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize I tend to do the same thing I am doing in facing a list of tasks that need to be done with wanting to rush and becoming anxious in finishing said tasks as my behavior, as when I am talking with people, instead of just being ordinary, meaning not having any expectations, not wanting an outcome, expecting and n outcome as this “ironically” dismisses my self from my self as breath and common sense here, where in practical fact , I cannot be here and taking the step by step physical reality of getting a task done, just as when I interact with the words people speak where the words reveal the beliefs, opinions and ideas, that can only be walked through in common sense one step at a time, where if I rush in desire or expectation I miss points, just as I will miss an obvious practical thing to be done in completing a task, where when I miss something I have to go back and start again and this ends up lengthening the duration of completing a task.
I forgive my self for not realizing/seeing /understanding that the word ordinariness gives me the answer, as in doing things in order, which implies that a task can only be walked in order, just as the words in a conversation are a brick wall of understanding and thus the words within a conversation are in an order and that order can be seen, where the task is to take the words/bricks and order them in such a way that what they guide, as create, as “live” when walked in common sense will become living words as what is best for all is the simplicity of an order that is aware of the whole, in consideration of the whole, which is how a task is approached in joy and fun, as simply being one and equal to here.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that I cannot know the next moment until I am here in this moment, thus do I need the ordinary to bring me here, as all as one as equal.
I commit my self to allowing my self to become ordinary.
I commit my self to realizing in every breath, in every moment that there is, as this physical reality only the ordinary.
I commit my self to breathing here in complete ordinariness.
I commit my self to living ordinariness, where the ‘extra-ordinary” accumulates to become what is best for all as what is best for self is what is best for all, as this is what being ordinary practically walked manifests as.
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