Day 43 Walking away.
How to walk away from the past, to let it all go, to stop worrying about the future, as the future cannot be known if the past is here, entertaining the mind.
Such a habit, especially since this is how I have directed my self, using the past as emotional guide, but these emotional guides are a replay and communicate attachment to unfulfilment, otherwise, were something fulfilled there would be ease as absence of attachment.
This is really an avoidance of change, change in every moment, accepting an idea of not knowing a future, and letting this moment here be of no expectation, accepting that here is all there is, as here will lead to there if I accept here, so why worry? This will be worry directing, an attachment to worry, a war I as self, in conflict with the only judge I have, my past. Criteria of the mind based on the conditioning of my self in a system that bread adherence to owned proposals of behavior - all that was presented in books, movies, stories. One publisher deciding how I should be, one publisher ( well maybe two - kissing cousins).
Reminds me that there are few educational text book names prevalent in the schools, and monetarily it is meant to keep it that way, I mean if you owned the company and what this provides wouldn't you? Yet, not everyone can own what is cloistered by the few, so limitation will continue, and only a few can "own" and the few, need ignorant/ non realizing followers.. Ever consider this? We all know this, but do we realize how “deep” this actually goes as the root of our behavior?
The past holds no answers. It is only stopping me from being here.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to hold onto the past.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that my past offers no self direction with what is here in this moment.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear losing my past, as the rituals and habits keep me in a place of security and comfort where I need not face change, as I have not been taught to face change, accept change, but have only learned to become a specific personification identical to what is “personified” within the texts presented to me by a few companies that would have this continue.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize within every breath, that in not existing as my past, I must realize I am facing change, in every moment and no longer imitating personification as the beliefs, opinions and ideas reiterated through texts owned by a very small number of major publishing companies.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that perhaps were the notion of “fame” non existent, then the “texts” I read would have been of more variation leading to a capacity to be more changeable and accepting of variation, as variation, with the variation that exists as what is real in a moment.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that the past has no variation or change as it is known and in itself a selection of a selection as what has been presented is a selection where I selected from the selected. lol
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that were I to realize my self as one and equal to all that is here, I would not be existing within a fear of change, as this is really a fear of loss.
I commit my self to realizing within every breath, that fear of loss is fear of change.
I commit my self to realizing the weight of the burden of the past on my self as breath.
I commit my self to , when I find my self in and as a thought of my past, to stop and breath and forgive these burdens, as this past/burden makes accepting change slow and tedious and difficult.
I commit my self to stopping the past, not fearing losing the past, just simply letting it go, to stand here, equal and one with here, able to change with ease.
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