Day 42 my sons

Day 42 

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to worry about my sons.

I forgive myself for for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that worrying about my sons is not the solution, to stop this worry and to explain how this world system works, so that my sons desire to understand this system through self motivated research and to within this recognize and understand their own influences and behaviors and the influences they will face as they become adults within a system that does not place the value that is here, that is life, before anything else.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to want an instant understanding of what is here, where, when my son reads a self forgiveness blog he becomes silent and then falls asleep, as he has told me he is scared of the world and fears facing this world, which means he must learn to realize fear for what it is and within this I realize that I must remain calm and breath, otherwise I tend to go into a mother persona instead of relating to my son as all as one as equal and place my self in his shoes.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my son is talking to me more, and thus this is a small step, one of many that will be needed to stop the dominance of the mind as the authority on earth and birth life into the physical, something that has never existed here on this earth, where we all know we have separated ourselves from this physical world, as we age and die without any understanding or awareness of this physical world, where if the human had understanding there would no longer be starvation, disease, pollution, animal extinction, as these behaviors, accepted and allowed are indicative of a world that is not in fact organized to support that which we are, that which supports us as what we are, life, and within this, a realization that if this cannot be seen and understood than there is seriously something amiss with the human.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that any person/human that is able to read and access the internet that encounters this message, the message of oneness and equality, and the presentation of a system that supports all life, an equal money system, that does not realize that what is here, as this physical world, that which support life as what we are, that is presently in a mess, with extinction, child sex trafficking,  starvation, plastic islands floating out in the middle of our oceans, radiation, depleted uranium affecting the formation of human babies and the lives of soldiers, and does not see, realize and understand how much of a fuck up this is is indicative that that human is lacking development and is a walking programmed set of words without any real awareness.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to blame my self for what lack of awareness and existence as fear my sons have become, where within this I have no time for self pity, or self blame, as what is here must stop, as what need be done is every step necessary to put and end to this self destruction of the earth caused by the very fear existent within my sons and my self.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that there is no time for fear, as fear, when it is what i become,  must be faced with breath and self forgiveness and self corrective application as, fear is the separation of my self from my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that any thought, any emotion, and feeling is a red flag of my separation from my self as life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am a programmable organic robot and that the present system that exists seeks profit for the few, and thus promotes all manner of desires, wants and needs to fill the focus of my self and direct me into wants, needs and desires that never satisfy and only lead to death, a death of no awareness of what lies beyond death, where I am so brainwashed that I actually believe that I cannot know what comes at death and that this is in the hands of some separate god, where as a parent with two sons, all I would want for my children is that they be able to direct themselves as life and that a “real” god, would want nothing else but life, want nothing else but self development towards a self perfected being and not what is allowed and accepted on this earth, where children are sold into sex, where animals are disregarded and become extinct, where the waters of this world have huge floating islands of plastic, where sons and daughters of men are afraid of life.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not see, realize and understand that the very fabric of what is here has not created a world that is absent of abuse, thus the very fabric of what exists is the problem and not singular relationships within this system that have become the focus of men, lost in one thread of this fabric at a time, no longer able to see the whole tapestry of the very structure of what is accepted and allowed on this earth as the way resource is distributed via a piece of paper that gives ownership to a few and thus does not consider all life.

I commit my self to sharing blogs with my son.

I commit my self to sharing my own behaviors that are my self in separation from my self as life.

I commit my self to sharing the order of my personalities as a collection of my past as what I have accepted and allowed to be what I believe my self to be that is in separation from what is actually physically here and only reveal to my self my own collection of believed and accepted inferiorities and feel good superiorities, that if i have a look have no awareness of this physical world.

I commit my self to sharing how I face my own fears, where often my son has insight that has helped me to face my own habituated fears as he is life, and thus are we one and equal to one another and need not fear exposing our own accepted and allowed fears.