Day 35
I read an article today about Middle Eastern men in small shops in Britain seeking out vulnerable girls younger than 16 and enticing them in their new found independence with alcohol and attention and then turning them into “dick holes” for all their friends where they take them around town and allow up to 20 men to fuck these young girls, these children.
My husband was in the Swiss army, in the army was a baker who had been a policeman. This police man told a story about Yugoslavian men in Switzerland who would find young insecure vulnerable girls, marry them and then lock them into a room where all their friends would come and fuck them. Evidently, the Swiss had a hard time finding these girls.These girls were not Muslim and therefor of no significance. This is what religion does, plasters labels on this physical world and decides what is life and what is not. If your religion were so strong and it is believed that if you are not of the faith of Mohammed you are “unholy”, then why would you dirty your dick with something that is not of your so strongly held faith? Is this not becoming that same dirt you label a human female physical body as that lacks this faith?
It really is just a justification to fuck and nothing else, it has nothing to do with your religion. It is indicative of allowing self to become what brings in money and profit, and hiding self in the act of sex, not wanting to face self, not looking at this system and how it operates. It is a brutal act that cares nothing for the life of the young girl or the life of the man as himself.
Both man and woman in this situation has allowed themselves to become puppets of the strings of the ads plastered all over this earth, that are of semi naked prepubescent girls wearing underwear posing in evocative stances suggesting that quick fix of energy release as orgasm. A self interested act that does not consider life without or within. The men participating in this are no different than the girl being abused. It is like action. All it does is destroy both the male and the female. nothing is conquered, nothing is gained. The essence of self as life is dissipated into an energetic rush, where nothing of significance of self development is gained for both the girl and the male.
This is taking beauty and smearing it with shit, and the shit gets on the female and the male, this “shit” if the addiction to sexual energy, and is not life, is not the essence of self in expression one and equal to life, one and equal to this physical world that is life, that supports self here as an expression of life, sensing all that is this physical world. This is being a drug induced zombie, feeding a system of money as profit.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that sticking my dick into a young girl has meaning.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to believe that a young girl of different religion than my own is no longer a young girl.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that a young girl is a young girl and no religion as a belief changes this fact.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to look at young girls and to see, realize and understand that it is only an idea in and as my mind that renders one young girl different from another.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see and realize that every young girl is unique and to not be able to see this means that there is something lacking in my ability to see life.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see and realize and understand that I am abusing life when I project a belief onto young girls and thus do not allow my self to expand through seeing the uniqueness in each and every young girl on this earth, no matter what their faith, and then, within this, to question why we have a system that does not bring this uniqueness forth and instead turns all women into an object of sex, where the woman/girl is not even seen for the value as life that they are.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that just as the men I know within my circle of men, where I see that each of them has something unique about them, so to are all women just as unique within themselves, yet I am addicted to sexual desire, where I lose my ability to see what is unique in all life, and thus that there is something lacking in this desire that consumes my human physical body, as it renders me into a singular desire where I no longer am able to see the value of life, the uniqueness in every single thing in this world, thus, perhaps it is my self that has become limited, and yet this is the norm taught, and I have never stopped and questioned this, and only gone along with all the others who are not questioning this because I fear losing my friends, when, how can someone really be a supportive “friend” if the acts I participate in are acts that diminish my ability to see the uniqueness that is life around me.
Within this, I forgive my self for not allowing my self to realize that I have in fact become a sheep, unable to direct my self and have abdicated my self honesty to life, my self responsibility as life into a singular self interested movement as being sexual energy, a singular state of mind that obviously cannot sense the totality of life, and the religion in which I grew up has not developed this ability within my self.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not question why I am in a situation where I need to line up to have sex with a young girl and to not question the abuse to life that this act is in fact.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not place my self in the shoes of this girl and to realize that she is the same as me, and that I would not want this to happen to me, and thus I am not living the words of Christ, to not do unto others what I would not want done unto my self.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that when I abuse life, I abuse my self as I am life one and equal to all life on this planet, as what is here is life in and as this physical world and it is only ideas in and as my mind that create separation, which I accept and allow if I stand as a singular idea and not as my self as life, one and equal as life to all that is of this earth.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that in abusing life I am spiting my self as life.
I forgive my self for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the only way I will be able to see beyond the singular relationships of the mind is to walk the process of stopping the mind.
I commit my self to stopping the beliefs in and as my mind, as what I was taught through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to bring my self back to my self as life, where I can stand one and equal to all that is here as this physical world that is life.
I commit my self to realizing that I am one and equal to all that is here on this earth, where I then stand and support a system of equality as equal money to clean up the ideas taught that separate my self as life, ideas that disallow my self to treat this physical world, as my self, as how I would like to be treated no matter what gender or form I happen to be in manifestation on this unconditionally giving physical world as earth.
I commit my self to no longer seeing my self as separate from a young girl.
I commit my self to stopping the abuse of the mind as singular desires unaware of the uniqueness of life as this physical world and to bring my self back one and equal to this physical human body where I am able to sense with the totality of my human physical body the multi dimension of life on this earth.
I commit myself to realizing that lack of respect for this world is lack of respect for my self.
I commit my self to realizing that my religion has not taught me to respect and become aware of this physical world.
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