Saturday, May 19, 2012

Day 34 Competition amongst women.



Day 34
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I need to compete with other women.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need to compare my self to other women.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that a younger woman who has a husband is more than my self because she has a husband.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that an older woman who has a husband is more successful that my self because she has a husband.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to think that a woman with a man is more than my self.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to allow the back chat in my mind to have any significance, as these thoughts that these woman with husbands are more than I am because I do not have a husband have any significance as these thoughts are of a limited design that does not include the being of my self here as life, where I am life, as I am here within this physical body wether or not I have a husband.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel less than because I do not have a husband
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that having a husband means that I have less value than a woman with a husband.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to label my self as husbandless.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to exist as an act of comparison to another where I am not even listening to the words being spoken and instead am labeling the other as having a husband, instead of being here one and equal to what is said, and taking this and applying the principle of oneness in equality where I direct what is spoken towards what is best for all, to become the living word where life is supported and thus myriad expressions are what becomes what is lived and not the singular idea of an object labeled as “having a husband, or not having a husband” as the measure of what actually physically exists.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see/realize/understand that one of my children could one day be a “wifeless” or “husbandless” person, where I would want them to not feel less than or more than because of a marital status, and that what I would want for them is to be themselves as an expression of life, to live a life in dignity and become self perfected beings.

I forgive my self for taking it personally that I am no longer a part of the “dinner party” scenario as I was when I was married, not realizing that there was never any “single” people at these dinner parties.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I was taught to believe married couples were the norm, a man and a woman together, where being involved with alternate life styles meant I was participating in a subculture as though, as the word suggests, I was not apart of the mainstream culture and thus there was something lacking within me as a person, when this does not make any sense, because people with out a heterosexual partner are still people who shit, and breath, and fart and go to work and movies etc. and are in fact no different than people with a husband and/or a wife.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that another woman can be more than or less than my self, where in fact another woman may have a developed skill that I have no development in, where this does not make this person more or less than my self, where I can come to understand another expression as life from this development in this person, and that any woman who acts superior is labeling themselves as more than based on developed skills and thus, is acting as ego and not present in and as listening to words spoken.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see/realize/understand that comparison and label limit and stagnate existence as they continue the belief that the human is not a living, physical, expressing entity able to learn and direct itself, to expand, and become aware of how this physical world actually works.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to also place value judgements on what is being said, comparing what I have said to what other women have said and then judging what I have said to be more than or less than what has been said, where I am both making comparisons as to how other women are dressed, what their level of profession is, and what they say as a contribution to the conversation where i then compete to find something to say that is accepted as valid, and noted by the group of women, which is my self existing in competition and not being present as what is best for all within the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for self is best for all, where what is considered is that I am one and equal to all women, and thus anything said or done in competition does not consider equality as what is best for all, where if I realized in every breath that I am one and equal to all women as life, what would be considered within every breath  would be supportive for my self and all women, as well as the small baby women being born into this world who are one and equal to me as life, no matter where on earth they are born.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that when I compare I am existing with a limited set of values, and thus not considering my self as life, one and equal to all life on this planet, and thus in being comparison, I am spiting life, and blaming, be lame towards life, for what exists on this earth as a game of survival within a system that values profit over life, a system that attempts to own unconditionally given life sustaining resources for self interest believing this to be free will, when this is the will of limited insight and unequal consideration, a non awareness of this physical world being an expression of life, where life is the value.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to see that in being a judge as being comparison I perpetuate inequality existent on this earth and miss the abundance of expression available within this physical world as my learned values I use to make comparisons are of limited insight as they are based on a system that values profit over life.

I commit my self to breath, to realizing that I am one and equal to all life as I am life, here within this physical world where this physical world is a means to become one and equal to all life here, the eye of the needle to self realization, self honesty, and self responsibility as life.

I commit my self to self forgiveness, writing and corrective application to remove the limited design and consideration of life that the I as the ego of my self in separation, spite and blame towards life, as I consider what supports my self as ego within a game of inequality that allows money to determine who lives and who dies.

I commit my self to  realize that reaction to ego supports the suppression of life that presently exists on this earth as ego is a reflection, and thus a cause and effect ( when allowed substantiation through participation) of the continued abuse to women and baby girls that have no opportunity to become self perfected beings one and equal to this physical world as they are born into a system where some have access to earth’s resources/money and others do not from the day they are born determining the length of their life, access to education, and the means of a dignified existence.

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