Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 75 The checklist of values in and as my mind.


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I cannot speak.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am unworthy of speaking because I have not convinced others of the reality of this world
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that people would come up to me and tell me how wonderful and talented I was at the violin, and I would say to them, it has nothing to do with talent, anyone could do this, it takes practice and about 10,000 hours of work and even then, which was before desteni, they would look at me and repeat what they had said, thus, this is a clear indication of programming and limited insight, and in reality there is no clearer way to say what I said, so perhaps - though I need to work on what i say- it  is not that I have failed, it is that if one listens to ideas and knowledge and information, as what we are lead to believe, it is difficult to hear anything else.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that just as it took time to program the human to believe it is all about talent and not self direction, it takes time to  change what has been programmed into myself as a human.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand , that even today, as I was out on the road , I started to look at homes and go through a check list in my mind, to “check off” what was nice about this home, even down to the way the yard was landscaped, all based on what i have been taught to “look for” and judge as being OK, or plain, or ratty, or messy, or boring etc.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that even if I stop and realize that I am doing this, it is programmed into my flesh and thus, will need self forgiveness to deprogram.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have become a walking checklist, making comparisons incessantly according to the values within my family culture.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that my “checklist of criteria” are meant to sustain my cultural value system, where I am so busy doing this, I do not have time to take a good look at what is happening all over this world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I find myself going into make believe stories, where all the criteria of my value “check list’ are placed in this imaginary story.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that  even though I can see that each of us is able to develop ourselves as life, there is still a program where I want to save the world, realizing in common sense that the solution to saving this world is to allow each person to become equal and one as themselves to life, a process each must walk into and as self discovery as life, and that this can be no other way, so that the inequality that exists on this earth never happens again.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to fantasize using the checklist of the values and morality of my family and past.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not immediately stop my mind from doing this, where still I find myself already through the introduction to my fantasy before I realize what I am accepting and allowing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reprimand myself with  a curse and a self judgement and instead to simply say stop and focus once again on breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like this process is impossible when I can hear an “undercurrent” of self pity wanting to have a voice within and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I compare and check off criteria based on what i have been taught is right and wrong.


I commit myself to focusing on breath and stopping the inner conversations in and as my mind from allowing myself to focus on ideas, beliefs and opinions that adhere to supporting a life in a bubble where all life is not considered.

I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to have inner conversations where I validate the morality that I have been taught within a system that does not consider the care for all life equally.

I commit myself to breathing, to remaining here in and as breath, and to realize I have no idea who I am, as all I am is a set of values taught within a system that has not considered all life equally.

I commit myself to slowly but surely stopping the mind, and remaining here in and as breath, to birth myself as life into the physical so that life can begin.

I commit myself to no longer reprimanding myself for the voices I catch myself becoming in and as my mind, and to simply say stop and from here to focus on my breath.

I commit myself to breath, to only speak when that part of myself that says stop, has something to say, and not to go into a response based on knowledge and information and to be diligent as myself as adding an emotional value as the words I speak and say.

I commit myself to being diligent within existing as giving emotional values to words as “right and wrong,” want, need and desire.


Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 74 The value given to emotions and feelings


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give value to emotions and feelings,
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have been taught to give value to emotions and feelings, and that I use these emotions and feelings with what I have been raised to believe in signifying value, where I attach an emotion to certain objects and manners and situations, that I am not aware that I am a walking emo, moving from one thing of value to another, allowing and accepting the value of emotion to direct and guide myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that in being this I cannot see what is real here, I cannot actually be here, I cannot even sense any self direction as all I am doing is moving from one emotional value to another, one feeling value to another.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand this this feeling of sadness that becomes a presence as me, where this is all that there is, which means I am allowing this to be real, if I stand back in and as breath, I will see that this is like a cloud of smoke that I am giving tremendous value to and that it has absolutely no capacity to direct myself here as life, as I am so busy “feeling” this emotional presence of sadness, like I am basking in the sun  - and make no mistake about this it is burning me like the sun would into and as ashes - that I do not realize that this is something of no real value, and in one moment this would change into something else, indicating that it has no real substance.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that, on another level, this “sadness” is myself in separation of myself, and if I do not give this a value and see this as separation, I will see realize and understand how much I have been developed to be an emo, thus are all humans emos, and the emos of the world are simply showing the human what the human is allowing as an expression.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how infinitesimally small emotions  and feelings exist as.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that in allowing myself to exist as emotions and feelings I cannot see myself, thus I have no directive capacity.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that emotions and feelings are like  a tiny tempest, which we allow to turn into a giant tornado - and thus perhaps this is why nature is coming out with  giant tornados recently-  where the tornado takes control and meanwhile the universe surrounding that tornado is right here as life, just watching that little storm in a teacup.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how big the breath really is.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to return to breath whenever I find myself becoming loopy.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that breath is life, breath is here, here is big, emo is small.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what Desteni is saying is that the human race has become an emo bot and it is time to stop as we are not taking care of this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that we are all one and equal, thus is this earth showing us what it is that we are, as giving emotions and feelings as energy the value we are in separation from ourselves and breath, and thus does dis-ease manifest, as dis-ease is separation from self as life, from breath and thus does the body, the physical receive life, and only extinguish itself as life into and as an emotional and feelings storm as energy.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that all dis-ease is the accumulation of an accepted and allowed existence of emotions as blame and spite and shame and regret and judgement and a feeling of unworthiness as self.


I commit myself to realizing that each and every time I allow an emotions or feeling I am in fact in separation from myself.
I commit myself to realizing that when I am being an emo, I cannot possible sense what is actually physically real.
I commit myself to realizing that emotions and feelings are not directives and thus when imposed on myself or by another are actually bullies demanding acknowledgement, and thus can they be acknowledged as separation and brought back to self, one and equal as breath where they can then be forgiven and directed as what is best for all.
I commit myself to realize that ideas, beliefs and opinions are based on what I have been cultivated to value, and this feeds the separation of myself into  emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that from childhood i have had to memorize what i believe, idealize, and opine, and have been praised within my social network in participating within this game of memory which is a game of acknowledging recognition of labels of accepted values non inclusive of an awareness of all life, and thus I become a feeling of right-ness and a feeling of pride, and that the process of this development took the lifetime of myself as a child to create, and thus will the ability of myself to direct myself as life, to remove the following emo bot as what i am will take time, diligence and patience as I bring myself back to becoming a self directed equal and one expression of life.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Day 73 The valley of the shadow of death. Emotions and feelings.



 Day 73 The valley of the shadow of death. Emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that emotions are “storms in a teacup” and thus, show me where I am throwing a tantrum and wanting something I believe will solve all the worlds problems when in fact I am existing in and as my mind within a singularity that if I were to get everything my emotional and feeling tantrums desired I would soon find that the gain was short lived and thus nothing of any real value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to emotions and feelings, where if I were to really look at emotions and feelings I would see that when a person is lost within an emotion or feeling it tends to go on and on and on, and the person tends to stay within an emotion and feeling without resolution, and just as I do this as I spin something around in my mind endlessly, I end up nowhere, which is to say, now here, caught in the now of the emotion which is to say I end up nowhere.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and look at what emotions and feelings I am existing as, that are actually like being in a state of vertigo, and unless I pick myself up and direct myself I will be ineffective, and that every time I attempt to pick myself up from within an emotion I notice this feeling of fear and dread, like an ominous presence.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that on some level I am actually totally disgusted with myself for having allowed and accepted myself to become and be emotions and feelings and that I did this to get along, to join the group, to survive.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that there are behaviors in men that are unacceptable, and thus to label such behaviors without solution is meaningless, which the human seems to do, to label and then feel grand because a name has been given, when this is an action that does not move beyond a singularity.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that much of what goes on  in the human is giving everything a name and stopping at that, and were we to realize this, as perhaps this is what a false idol is, humanity might actually have learned to see consequence as having more revelation that the object.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that a movement as an action as what a human does that is inconsiderate of life is known as this, and thus there is no reason why there are people on this earth that are starving and being used as sex objects.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that emotions and feelings are my attachments to what I fear losing, and that what I fear losing is an illusion, as what life is is self direction as life, and the things around me that I believe I need to survive/sustain my physical, are all in fact given unconditionally by this earth, thus all the constructs of this world, that do not support this physical world are in fact a crime of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that all emotions and feelings are a fear of myself directing myself as life , here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand  that the human gives conditionally, and not as self as life, because if the human gave unconditionally, then there would exist no fear of loss, that daughter and that son would be able to express without need for societal protections, without fear of abuse, without  fear of evil as Christ said, “ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil.”

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that it will take a majority, which is little more than half of the people who actually get up and vote, which is not that many in relations to the population, to walk together through the valley of the shadow of death fearing no evil - as this is what the emotions and feelings as storms in teacups actually are - to change this world system to one that supports life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that to change this world into one where every son and every daughter no longer has to walk on an earth that exists as the valley of the shadow of death, is the implementation of an equal money system, to walk of the process to bring heaven to earth. so that life can begin.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions and feelings in separation from myself as life, as allowing and accepting myself as life is to be the principle of oneness in equality, as giving as you would life to receive, where the shadows are but storms in teacups.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that emotions and feelings are self in separation from life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that what is here, this physical world is what is real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that catering to the emotions and feelings of others, without direction, as they are me and I am them, is to continue the existence of earth as the valley of the shadow of death, which is what much of earth presently exists as.


I commit myself to practicing being directive and forgiving myself to life, to being here, in and as breath.

I commit myself to, when I face an energetic emotion or feeling and any thought that comes up, to forgive myself to life, to the directive of what is best for all, to face the shadows as they are but shadows of life and not myself as life within and as the directive principle of what is best for all, which is my self as life, one and equal.

I commit myself to realizing that there is nothing to lose,  there is not right or wrong, there is only what is best for all, and any excuse is an emotion and or a feeling in separation from life in and as a belief that something can be lost, where the shadows of this earth, as emotions and feelings, are the product of the fires of self separation from life; as within so without - thus is the abuse of this physical world the screams of hell as this physical world burns, consumed through the following by the human of the illusory projections of an invisible god and an invisible hand.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Day 72 Rolling with to transpose role play




I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that dealing with the emotions of others is tedious and difficult.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  hide myself from others in fear of being myself as I fear facing what i have accepted and allowed inside and I fear facing and standing up to the same emotions and feelings in others, not realizing that these emotions and feelings are based on beliefs , opinions and ideas that are insubstantial, meaning, that emotions, thoughts and feelings, are devoid of common sense of the totality of self as life and this physical world, and thus the directive is to become aware of the totality of this physical world and how this physical world in fact works, as what we have on this earth at present is not a working, living, breathing earth, as can be seen with a minimal amount of investigation, this world is slowly but surely becoming devoid of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that any amount of self pity is not going to change this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any amount of blame is not going to change this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any amount of feeling tired is going to change this world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the moment I feel a resistance it is the accumulated ideas, beliefs and opinions, I have accepted and allowed, resonant within that are myself not actually being here one and equal with this physical world in and as breath, directing myself as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something that I can lose,  not realizing that the value is the moment here, in and as and with this physical world, and that I can only be here in this moment, which appears to be slow and inconsequential in relation to all the incessant rantings of my mind that I have existed as and allowed, that never seem to go anywhere and are the cause as I have made them huge and not realized the mind as  a collection of imitations of what is real, what is here, and thus an imitation is not the real thing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the mind to intimidate me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow emotions, thoughts and feelings to intimidate me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the intimidation of the mind is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe  that the mind is my in time date that I must dress myself up for and serve.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that the mind is always dated as it is based on the past, and thus is not what is actually here and present, thus I cannot prepare myself for what is here, as what needs development is a common sense of this physical world and how this physical world works to communicate with what is actually here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that no amount of knowledge and information collected and absorbed will enable me to utilize common sense, as common sense requires that I be able to “read” this physical world and not some ledger of filed information in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in utilizing breath I bring myself into this physical world, and any deviation from breath, any non awareness of breath, is a moment where I have separated myself into and as my mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that practicing being physically aware in and as breath in common sense of this physical world is going to take practice, always bringing myself back within the principle of what is best for all, without a moment of fear of loss, as there is nothing to lose but oneself in and as the mind, lost in beliefs, opinions and ideas.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my mind will take what is kept as knowledge and information and create a fantasy story as entertainment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize when I begin to do this folding of ideas, beliefs,  I have breath and the ability of myself to direct myself , to say stop and to realize myself here with what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the emotions and feelings and beliefs of others are one and the same, the existence of a story as what is real within another, unresolved, able to be resolved and cleared as what is directive within the principle of what is best for all, done with patience and  no expectation of gain, as the  only real gain is to be the directive principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for  not allowing and accepting myself to realize that sympathy has a place, yet is not the end of the story, as it is a path of emotional, feeling, sameness in each and every human that must be directed in common sense towards a world that supports all life, where what must be understood is how this physical world works in fact, how the human physical body works in fact.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that emotions , feelings and thoughts can only “touch “ me, meaning affect me, if I allow and accept this.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as myself in and as breath, as a note of life, here, I am able to transpose myself into and as and with the key in and as the principle of oneness in equality, as what is best for all, beginning with myself here, with every step i take I become the breath of life as all as one as equal here and forgive all ideas, beliefs and opinions of believing myself to be special, as the real value is life.


I commit myself to realizing there is nothing to fear in emotions, thoughts and feelings, except that I allow and accept them as being fixed and unchangeable.
I commit myself to stopping all thoughts, as thoughts are of the mind and the mind is like a beacon of spite and blame and imaginings all geared ( a gear/a mechanism) of fulfilling the limited design of the present hubris of man believing itself to be more than this physical world, believing this world is in the service of men, when men are an expression of life one and equal to what is here as life, as this earth is an expression of life, and this is the value.
I commit myself to realizing that this earth is of a technology beyond anything the human has achieved, and that the real being of self as life is to become one and equal to this physical world.
I commit myself to showing that the division and conquest of the resources of this earth is working against this physical world and placing this physical world into limited designs that are not supporting the life that is here as what is the support as it is what we are.
I commit myself to realizing that all my wants , needs and desires are based on a belief that I am in lack and therefor in want, need and desire, when I am here as life, where all that I need is given to myself freely, as myself here as the physical, just as this earth gives freely, and that is is only the behavior of men, lost in mind, that divide and separate this physical world into a system that creates lack instead of support.
I commit myself to realizing that I can roll with life, one and equal instead of becoming a role of infinite repetition suckling relationships  that do not consider the whole as this physical world, where the “relationship” is a means to transpose the story into and as, within the directive principle, what is rolling with what is best for all.


Monday, June 25, 2012

Day 71 Life or sympathetic longing-for ? memory. You decide.


Day 71 Life or sympathetic longing-for ? memory. You decide.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want a family
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have these feelings of longing to have a family.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am somehow missing something because I do not have this system perfect picture presentation of having a family, with a nice house and a green lawn, and two cats, and a dog, and children in the yard.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is my mind with a picture presentation of what a family consists of and exists as, and if I look closely at this I realize it is not what is real that having a family in this world is filled with stress and worry about money.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that this desire for a family is based on an idea and nothing else, as there are many ways to live in this world and having a  system picture perfect family is not the only way in which to live.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this idea of a family is based on my past, where, in worry about my future and an aspect of facing change, I project images of this past into and as my future , taking moments from the past connected to emotional and feeling energies and project them to imagine what my future will be and become, not realizing that I am existing as a limited idea of what is real, a partial idea of what is reality and that there is much more to reality than this limited design of existence picture, and that in the process of existing in and as my mind - which many of us are not even aware of because this has become habit- I am not present here, one and equal with the physical, where in allowing mind imaginings, I actually separate myself from what is here and miss out on the gift of life that is here as this physical world that which supports me as life, which if one starts to think about this, is like not having lived.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that in wanting the image in and as my mind, I am judging everything that is of life that is here , that is what supports me, because it is not fitting what I have in my mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this picture in my mind is one dimensional and superficial and has no physical sensations in and as common sense, it is in fact all an alternate reality “dreamscape,” I have been existing as my whole life, as the children begin to have this already in the third grade, and thus have a hard time reading which the system has labeled as ADD and ADHD and then makes a profit selling ritalin , where it is known that these psychotrophic drugs merely suppress the allowed separations from life which must eventually come out, and will just put off the problem to another day, and meanwhile the child is not learning to be here and solve problems and be self directive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to  realize that this memory I have of sunlight coming into a room and shining on a wood floor with a child crawling across the floor is from my past, where there is a feeling memory of being at peace, safe and secure with my child as a baby, where what is attached to this memory is this feeling of security and peace, and within my present environment I face changes and thus in fear of change, I imagine a time of peace and security.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that within this there is a longing, and this longing has no clear definition, thus in actual fact it is an alternate reality mirage, where here in this actual physical world I fear facing the future, where I exist in a system that does not support me as life, yet I am on a planet, a physical world that is the actual real source of support as what i am here, and this actual self within this real tangible physical world has given me  life unconditionally, and yet the system that is here has placed labels of ownership all over this physical world, and placed images all over this physical world as what I should be and exist as, which as we can see what mind images do, is myself being owned which I accepted and allowed, all of which I support through participation and acceptance and allowance and all because I fear standing up as my self as life, directing myself as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand what has been accepted and allowed on this earth that is in fact an atrocity.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that living within and as memories is disrespecting the gift given which is this physical world, a world that gives of itself freely, and thus  ownership and control of resource distribution by a few in the guise of developing a nation, is an absolute crime against life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my desire to have a family is actually insane, because i have had a family, and what am I supposed to do, long for a family for the rest of my life?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that having a family within this present system is actually like being grounded for twenty years.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I can’t remember every moment I spent raising my children, so where was I?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I have already figured out that I have been in my mind imagining a past memory as I face a change in my future, and thus, was I doing this in the past and this is why I can’t remember every moment of my time spent raising my children?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have probably spent much of my life in and as my mind, not being present here, one and equal to this forgiving physical world, where I must ask myself where I had been, and what “being in mind images” is in fact? where I can’t even remember what mind imaginings I was existing as that occupied me to the point where I can’t remember every moment of raising my children, so where was I, and have I lived a life in fact?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I can’t remember my life in detail, the mind imaginings and the actual physical reality in absolute detail, thus I have not in fact lived, I have allowed and accepted myself to exist as a mirage, and just as a mirage my life has been spent in illusion and as existing as this it is no wonder there is no explanation within this system to explain the existence of suicide.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to ask myself,  what might I have accomplished if I had been here in every moment?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not ask myself why the human is existing as this?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to wonder if this is happening to the children who are labeled as ADHD and ADD, and maybe if I ask one of them what they did yesterday, I will find that they will either tell me a story of what DID NOT happen, or they will not remember, and thus I will see realize and understand that the children of this world are already, at a tender young age not in fact present , one and equal to this physical world, this world, this earth that gives to support life unconditionally, and yet some believe they can own what is here, and thus rape what sustains from under the feet of men and animals and plants.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am one and equal to what is here, to all that is of this earth, this that supports myself, even as I exist in separation from this earth in a mirage where I can’t even remember the details of my life, and actually only have limited memories that have emotional and feeling attachments in which  I wallow and thus, I am not here, and thus I have not lived with what is real, this physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that something has been lost because I no longer have the picture perfect image of a family, a wife with a husband, beginning to walk into their so called “golden years.”
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is not that having a family is right or wrong, it is that the family as it exists , exists as an idea of fitting an image, which is a directive from without, and the self as life is ignored, and the family as it exists in a system of inequality and belief in ownership of natural supportive resources causes a struggle to survive and for most of this earth a life of struggle to even have the basic necessities of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is no security until all are secure, and that real security on this earth means that I would not exist as hanging onto memories of a moment of supposed “feeling of security” as security would be a given and thus life would begin, where every moment lived would be remembered as it would be a moment of actual life, one and equal to this physical world and thus not a forgotten existence as a mirage as existing as imagination and memory is an existence of dissipation ( dis apply ing self in common sense of this physical world ) .


I commit myself to becoming one and equal to this physical world through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application, where I become the living word, the same today, as yesterday and tomorrow, where I transcend through the eye of the needle .
I commit myself to realizing that anything promoted within a system of inequality, as what is so evident on this earth, cannot be trusted and that it is not the ingredients that are “bad or good” but a system that pits good against bad in order to profit, and thus does not support equality, where all that is of this earth is realized as the value, the value as life as what  it is.
I commit myself to realizing my memories of my past are singular and if I  really look at them they are just this - an image with an emotional/feeling attachment, where the emotions are the devil and the feelings are the angel, a distorting mirage in separation from what is real, this physical world, and that this “distorting mirage” is a cognitive dissonance  into and as polarities as more than and less than, all of which I have accepted and allowed , and what is used by a system of inequality that exists as a fear of loss, as the singularity of less than made huge causes instability  and a separation from what is supportive, and thus has the human become a zombie worshipping a false god - a god and a devil - where the two together are the original choice as one that is the separation as life from itself as equal and one as the substance of life in self direction and not a voice in the head pondering like the swing of a pendulum from one pole to the next.


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Day 70 Suppression of common sense begins in childhood


Day 70 Suppression of common sense begins in childhood

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that as a child my own common sense what rejected and ignored.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in “shutting down” my own common sense I lost the ability of myself to communicate.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand , that there is no common sense within this world and what I am as what I have become to fit into a world that does not consider and respect and work with this physical world, is a reflection of the shutting down of my own common sense that happened over the number of years it took for me to become an adult, and that the adult I have become is devoid of common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear using my common sense for fear that I will be ignored and attacked as this is what happened to me as a child, and thus this memory is  based in fear of attack attached to myself resonantly as I am programmable, as self one and equal to an awareness of this physical world as what I am as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being myself for fear I will not survive in a world that attacked me, as I was a child and it was believed I had no sense, when this does not make sense as children can rapidly learn things, more so than the supposed “developed” adult.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that what I was seeing happening to the young girls who were models in NYC when I was a teenager, was their common sense being shut down as they stepped into and as a limited design in and as the “perfect” looking woman, as a role, trying to fit into the media image idea of what a woman “sould” herself as to survive, as common sense does not fit into a system that only serves profit for the few.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the soldiers committing suicide, one a day at this time, are doing so as they are being forced to go against their own common sense of life, and thus of their equality to all life, where they have been lead to believe that they are not fulfilling the perfect male “dominator” role and thus are a failure to their country, a country of politicians and corporations composed of people who allow and support the rules dictated through their participation, saying they are just doing their job and not realizing that it is the actions of each and everyone of us that create the “water the fish swim in” as what this society has become in totality - a society in separation from a common sense of this physical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that our soldiers are in conflict with their own common sense as life and the “G.I. Joe” image and likeness they played with as children, a doll sold to practice the boy into being sould to a system that supports the flow of money to a few and to being a limited means of making a living - as this is all that is offered- while all this effort and development could just as well be used to provide clean drinking water for this world, to provide the means to live a dignified life where children are allowed to become adults in full capacity of their common sense, an existence of heaven on earth, where fathers could actually spend time with their children without the stress and anxiety of financial indebtedness hanging over their heads and causing the manifestation of anxious behavior.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a system that continues  an existence of war when the sons of this earth are committing suicide, a clear indication that life is not being supported.
I forgive myself  for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that not only is it a crime to go into another country and kill children to obtain freely given earth resources, but that it is also a crime to send the sons of this earth into killing fields to become puppets to a few who believe they have a right to more than that which is one and same as them, all that exists on this earth that is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the children and wives of these men committing suicide are left to a world that cannot explain why suicide exists as all common sense has been shut down, where if one really has a look at this, suicide is a clear indication that this system existent on earth is not supporting life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the suppression of myself is the suppression of life, and that what I am being taught by this present system, as evident with the existence of suicide on this earth, is not what develops and supports what it is that I am, which is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that until suicide no longer exists on this earth, life is not what is being lived on this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when some man with a degree tells me that the suicide of my husband is not my fault, this supposedly educated person is only giving sympathy, and not telling me anything of any value or explanation as to why suicide exists.
I forgive myself  for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the very existence of myself as not being able to explain suicide is my self telling me that there is no explanation, as suicide is the very manifestation of a lack of common sense as what this present system on earth is in fact, and as how the human has not been allowed to develop in common sense, thus what exists on this earth is a system of limited design, and not of common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a child is gentle and giving and thus perhaps this is the nature of the human as life, where within and as this nature is the ability to learn rapidly, and thus this ability would be the presence of a child in and as common sense, as common sense is the ability to sense this world to a greater degree than what that child turns into as an adult, where the adults of this world serve a system of limited design, and thus become an e(nergy)go that serves a system that obviously does not support life, as if life were supported, there would be no starvation, no rape, no suicide, no child sex trafficing, no disease, no  ADHD, no cancer, where all of these things are growths of destruction and SUPPRESSION of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that advertising spends billions of dollars a year to influence the public, and that they continue to do so because it works, tells me that the human is programable and thus, the stories and images all over the media are doing the same, and thus everything that is propagated by the media is the dis-focusing of common sense, thus must the billions of dollars a year continue to be spent in order to keep the separation from and suppression of self as life, as self in common sense of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my obsessions and addictions are one and the same to what is plastered all over this earth by media.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize see and understand that the only way out of this separation from life as what this system allows is to change this system to one that supports life where the answer is  “to give as you would like to receive,” as does this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to sit down and look at how much of the federal budget is spent on war, how much is spent on alcohol, how much is spent on advertising alone and to realize that this could be spent on supporting life, thus is there no excuse for not implementing a basic income grant to support life first, where it would soon be discovered that crime would come to an end, that many of the abusive behaviors that exist are caused by accepting the unacceptable simply to survive and that this must be done to stop the sons of man from committing suicide.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that soldiers committing suicide is the child unable, in common sense , to support and maintain the accepted and allowed world system of profit/greed and survival.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see, realize and understand that this system of greed and profit is so indifferent to life that it sends the sons of man onto battlefields to clean up bombs made of depleted uranium where it is known that this substance will lead to a horrible death as this uranium is radioactive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this same depleted uranium is subtly labeled as “depleted” to misinform and lead astray as it suggests that somehow it is no longer uranium.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to research what this depleted uranium is doing to the children being born in the areas where this depleted uranium was used and all in the name of grabbing resources to support the existence of a few on the top of a pyramid that need not exist, as this earth is able to support life in dignity for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I accepted and allowed the rush of energy that leads to obsession and possession, all of which is one and the same as myself as I became and desired to be the image and likeness as that which is promoted by the media and advertising.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I have allowed myself to separate myself from my common sense and thus suppressed myself as life, thus am I as much to blame as the people on the top of this pyramid, and thus the only solution is to deconstruct this pyramid by standing up and supporting a system of equality - an Equal Money System and/or a Basic Income Grant, which can only be done through coming together as a group and developing a majority to stand and place, through a vote, a system that supports life as the value, to remove the evil - living eye as a centralized power that suppresses self directive autonomy, as self is capable of when common sense is allowed to develop as what the human is as life.



I commit myself to showing the human how programmable the human is through revealing what has been accepted on this earth to the extent the human no longer can fathom any other existence than what has been propagated.
I commit myself to revealing that the desteni i process is about deprogramming what is resonantly held within and as the human physical body that is the self separated into and as energy, where the energetic addiction has consumed all the focus of the human, to the point where it is believed that nothing else exists and to the point where many of our children can no longer read.
I commit myself to practice standing in common sense, again and again and again , no matter how many times I fall, until it is done, until there is heaven on earth.
I commit myself to pointing out how advertising spends billions to indoctrinate and enslave to energetic fixes that need constant sustenance to survive, where the movies and words in all media, including the stories sould are essentially the same thing, as that the media is paid for by those who have control of money and thus what is propagated by media is configured in such as way to keep the addictions fed and not to sustain and develop a self directed human in common sense of what is real as this physical world.
I commit myself to asking questions that cause friction within the program of energy as polarities towards my fellow men and  to no longer fear the cognitive dissonance as the mind seeks an answer in singularities that have no answer as a sense of the whole and totality of existence has not been developed.
I commit myself to no longer wanting to win something, or becoming righteous, as I realize that in a system of equality, I will not be known or become famous or have more than another, thus is there nothing to win in promoting a system of equality as what will be won/one is myself as life much like the smile of a child before the tantrums of energetic desire consume and begin the separation of myself into and as wanting to be special when the value is simply myself here, being life.
I commit myself to explaining to others that the idea of self direction, as self expression, as self honesty, as self responsibility will seem like a huge fearful thing when seen through the eyes of a mind that has been made huge and addictions that seem insurmountable as nothing else has been taught, and that the physical is here to support as this is what is real as this is what is supporting all of us, as what is real is what has been allowed to be owned by a few, who themselves are in separation from life.
I commit myself to realizing that what desteni is saying is that the configuration of this world can be reconfigured to support life, and that the tools are here, they just need to be directed, by the hands of men, to support all life and to end this world system of profit and greed.

Equal Money - vote to support life.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Day 69 Unworthiness as reaction to Irritation


Day 69 Unworthiness as reaction to Irritation
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to irritation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take confusion and irritation, as cognitive dissonance personally.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to irritation and cognitive dissonance, where I looked only at the emotion of this behavior/response and reacted instead of realizing irritation as cognitive dissonance, where, as the word suggests, there existed a misunderstanding or deconstruction of belief, opinion and idea, and within this the irritation had only to do with a process of realignment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactive to discord, irritation, cognitive dissonance, to the point where all I looked at was the emotion and not the words being spoken and within this direct myself as what is best for all, meaning giving what was actually happening a directive within the principle of what is best for all: within this it is easy to see that a child does not have the verbal capacity and development to be able to realize that adult irritation is a limited mind in cognitive dissonance existing within values indoctrinated to survive within a system of inequality, a system of profit, which has been going on for generations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become submissive within this, in self pity, that I had done something wrong, not realizing that I was creating a belief within myself that I was unworthy and unheard, when in fact all that existed, as indicated by irritation, was a cognitive dissonance that simply required a common sense directive within what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that all that was needed was to stop and breath, look in common sense of what is best for all, and use the capacity of myself here, as a human being, to realize a directive that is within the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to  realize that, as a child, I was not trained to do this, and instead taught the roles of a woman, to be submissive and to develop myself in accordance with what enabled my survival within a system of limited design to support a system of money usage for profit for a few instead of money/resource usage that support the value of life as this physical world as what is real.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that irritation is cognitive dissonance, and thus a moment where the mind must review what has been accepted and allowed as belief, opinion and idea, and deconstruct to include a new view point and that this can cause a moment of  disassociation from accepted and allowed patterns, where, within this, a direction can be given that is within the principle of “giving as you would like to receive” instead of what serves a profit based system that has caused an existence on this earth where many lack the basic necessities to live a life in dignity, thus is causing irritation  a natural consequence of changing the habits and beliefs that support a system of inequality, a system that is showing the human how ineffective it is in supporting life, with the amount of abuse to animal, plant, soil and human, manifesting as the rapid depletion of earth’s resources and unacceptable living conditions on earth at this time.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I developed my own feelings and emotions of unworthiness, begun in childhood as I was not taught to direct myself within the principle of what is best for all, or taught that as a human I am capable of being trained to use my human physical body, to work in tandem with this physical world and develop myself in ways yet unknown with a system that dis-allows human development in favor of preparing humans through family, education ,media, to serve a system of profit for the few, evident in the frustrated behaviors manifesting on earth at this time, where people are killing their children, eating other humans, where soldiers are committing suicide and children are being bombed by remote control to allow a few to have control of earth’s resources, resources given unconditionally by this physical world to support life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this pattern I have accepted and allowed is in this moment constricting my lower back and causing constriction to flow down into my legs as I fear speaking within and as my writing that I am somehow not speaking clearly enough, where I spin around in and as my mind looking for a way out and cannot find one, as my mind operates in singularities and cannot see what is best for all, which means I have become that which I fear.

I commit myself to breathing, to stopping the allowance of myself into and as fear.
I commit myself to realizing that fear is an energetic possession within my human physical body as myself in separation from myself where the only choice is to breath and direct myself within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing all images in and as my mind are showing me how I have separated from myself and thus are not real, only energetic possessions I am allowing to draw my attention away from what is physically here and real.
I commit myself to revealing that this is what is happening to our children where we label this as ADD and ADHD, where parents of these children take schools to court to demand a private/special education not realizing that it is the parent that has developed this very inability to focus on what is actually here as what the child exists as, and therefor in taking the schools to court, are the parents abdicating their responsibility and wanting a system - the very accepted and allowed system that is one and equal to the cause of the lack of focus in the human- to take responsibility for their child.
I commit myself to not allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am unworthy, and realizing that reacting to irritation and discord necessitates a corrective action within utilizing the principle of what is best for all, where practice in giving direction instead of allowing reactions as defense, spite, blame, insecurity, wanting to win,  and fear of loss are not an action of resolution to and towards the principle of what is best for all, the principle of giving as one would like to receive.
I commit myself to revealing that the method of operation within this present system, through media, family and education, suggests that the human is programmable, and thus the human is able to realize that this present system of inequality is not the natural state of life, as it needs constant broadcast to perpetuate it’s propagated desires, wants and needs, to support the few, and thus can this world be changed to a world that supports life, a heaven on earth.


Friday, June 22, 2012

Day 68 Pondering as mind is experience as relationships


Day 68 Pondering as mind is experience as relationships

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to ponder in and as the mind, where if I return to breath, I can see, and understand what it is I am allowing myself to exist as.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as viewing my accepted and allowed behaviors in relation to past experiences that I superimpose onto later experiences that are also of the past, where I do not allow myself to simply look at my own behaviors that were not self directive within the principle of oneness in equality and  let it go.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize, see and understand that all I can be is here, with what is physically here, walking within and as the principle of what is best for all, as anything else is simply a dream of the mind in separation from what is here and the being of myself as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear standing up and speaking as what is best for all regardless of the harsh irritations I may receive as response, which I need not fear as I have faced them many times, and often the person walks away or stops and realizes what they have just done, which is  to have reacted in a limited way.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fold over and over again experiences of the past , to stand within this and stop, to move on, to say to myself no more, this is not what is here, practically physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all mind back chat is in accordance - in a cord/bound dance- to a system of limited design where I have been conditioned to fear opposing the group; the group itself bound to survival behaviors as rushing around trying to fit into the image and likeness of what has become a “god” within society - accepted and allowed by the human- as the qualities of supposed perfection as seen in advertising, in order to be considered more than another, all based on survival.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that in giving up myself to limited ideas that serve a profit based system, I am in fact saying that i am not responsible for what exists and perpetuate the abuse through giving myself up to what I know is unacceptable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that I have failed within this present system and thus this is why I want the world to change, which is the mind not wanting to die.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad that there is a lack of ability for people to communicate, where I blame myself as this as well, and within this realize that whether this is true or not, this perceived lack of ability within myself to communicate, the solution is to keep walking and practicing communication, as the opposite will lead no where and feeling sorry for myself is just “feeling sorry” for myself as this is existing within an emotional polarity of more than and less than.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that any unhappiness I may feel has nothing to do with anyone other than myself, in and as where I happen to live, yet, where I realize those living in places where the land beneath their feet is being raped for the profit of a few, are the ones experiencing, physically, a state of abuse and pain and thus have been raped of their expression as life, where the expression of life, as life is what real love is.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that anything that is in my mind, is back chat, the perpetual abdication of myself as life, my accepted and allowed separations into a belief that I have failed, a belief that “it was not my fault,” a belief that “it is impossible,” a belief that “if somehow I look at what happened again and again and again” I will somehow find a solution within the imagery - that is of the past - an experience-  when this has never happened, as all I do is spin around in a movie and do not live an actual directive that considers what is best for all, and within this, an image in and as my mind is not something that I can practically live as it is an image and thus not real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize emotions and feelings I have become addicted to and have been taught are the proper stance to exist as, as my self personification in and as woman, where I, within my mind imagery, seek solutions that “fix” the outcome of what it is that I am pondering to make myself feel better about myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that this is myself going on a emotional feel good journey where nothing is solved and all I am doing is getting an energetic fix.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize this addiction to wanting to “fix “ things, which is a control mechanism,  does not allow the people that may be involved to self direct, as I am creating conditions in and as my mind, in make believe, that I believe will resolve what is perceived to be imperfect, thus I exist as ideas and beliefs and opinions to impose on another instead of being here in this moment directing myself as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that what is best for all is what allows a self directed movement by another, where I gain nothing, as support, as what actually exists is the other supporting themselves as life, and thus enabling myself to become myself as life, within this I realize that oneness in equality cannot be what is on this earth until all are able to be what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have walked as mind for so long it will take time for me to stand up as myself, to be able to speak as the living word.
I forgive myself for not realizing breath in every moment, where i have days that I focus on breath and then days where I realize I have once again separated myself from being aware of breath, one and equal as breath, realizing that breath is life, here, being in and as the physical, that which is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated as I interact with my world, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of back chat that exists as my mind, where I compare one thing to another, where I judge something as nice, or ugly, all limited as they do not consider an accepted and allowed system of inequality and the abdication of the human as being self directed with in the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to re-member myself to breath in every moment, living and breathing the principle of what is best for all, which is common sense of how this physical world works, and within this continue to read about how this world functions and what is being accepted and allowed that is abusive to life - as seen through so many living in extreme situations of lack.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have imaginings of the future, which is myself in fear of the future and thus myself trying to placate myself as to the future, where I cannot know what will be in the future, and the ideas I impose onto the future, to prepare myself for the future, will not be what the future will manifest as, thus will I set myself up for disappointment and rejection of what presents itself, and within this rejecting life.


I commit myself to stopping what comes up in and as my mind, to realizing it is my fear of judgment by others, and a fear of loss, where I am capable of using my common sense and directing my self forward.
When and as any thought comes up in and as my mind, I stop and I breath as this thought is only showing me what I fear, and it is based on what I have been taught to believe is how I should be, what I should be, and who I should be in relation to limited personifications, as energetic outplay, in separation of myself here as life, and so small and insignificant it is no wonder the nature of thought is of an infinite loop swinging back and forth in perpetuity.
I commit myself to breathing and stopping all thoughts through realizing a thought, an emotion, and a feeling are all based on a polarity of more than or less than, based on an idea as a desire in relation to survival - based on a system of inequality, and thus serve no purpose in allowing myself to become one and equal to my human physical body where I am one with life, as the physical is what is real.
I commit myself to breath, to realizing all thoughts are myself in separation from being here, where I direct myself to walk into and as, one and equal to what is physically here, instead of what is a melodrama of loss and desire, of more than and less than,  an alternate reality that is inconsiderate of this physical world and thus an act of destruction through pretending something does not exist because one has believed oneself to be more than for so long what is real can not longer be seen.
I commit myself to realizing that all emotion, thought and feeling is actually direction AWAY from what is here, what is real, this physical world, and that once i realize this, in and as every breath, all thoughts emotions and feelings  will be realized for what they are, a tiny spec in which man is lost in separation from what is the gift of life, this physical world.
I commit myself to stopping the mind as being here one and equal to this physical world.



Thursday, June 21, 2012

Day 67 significance to the insignificance



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the insignificance
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make the one ankle more significance than another ankle
I forgive myself  for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the form of one human body over another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that one person is more significant than another, instead of realizing that the significance is being here, being life, where I keep going as life, to learn that the significance is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a soldier commits suicide every day as they are men paying homage to what is insignificant and thus see no value in life, as the value of themselves as life has been made to support the profit of a few instead of what is real, life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a profit based system is the very manifestation of giving significance to the insignificant  that which causes weighing and measuring as object instead of directing as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the significance placed on the physical as having values of more than and less than is to be separate from self as directing self as life, where the significance is being directive as life within the principle of what is best for all, one and equal to realizing the significance is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place value on knowledge and information to read to gather knowledge and information, like a computer, so I can spew knowledge and information, which is dis-placing myself from directing myself with significance as life and allowing myself to place significance on knowledge and information to appear to be infomr-ed, aligned with  a presentation of myself to fit into a picture presentation , as idea, as belief, as desire to appear to fit into a hierarchy above other qualities, where this qualifying is separating myself form the equality of the total composition of what is here, which is all the substance of what is significant which is life, and within this allowing myself to be what is the movement of myself as life one and equal, this being what is significance, where there is no need to judge.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hate myself for not having realized that what is significant is to keep going, through all the signs of the mind as the labels and the back chat, the weighing and measuring, until I catch myself realizing that the significance is being here, being life, directing myself as life, where finally the mind stops and I become the gift of life which is  being here, directing myself as life, and thus is the mind a mirage that has possessed and obsessed focus onto in-sign-ficance ( financing the signs of capitalism )  and not  being myself  as what is significant, meaning life aligned assignment, meaning assigning myself life as the principle of what is best for all, as give as I would like to receive, as what i am that is significant,  where within this the present system here on this earth is an absolute travesty as it separates the human away from self as life, yet this has been developed and built by the annecs of the mind doting on weighing and measuring objects , stagnant, instead of directing and moving and being an expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize how stagnant I allow myself to be when I allow ideas, beliefs and opinions according to class, culture, race, nationality, to be the borders of myself , when these borders are what I allow to stop the movement of myself as life,  making the sign, as label huge when the sign as label is insignificance and what is real is myself here as an expression of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize there is no rejection, as rejection is simply having allowed myself to move as label, as having moved myself as what is insignificant - the label as what I believed as desire, an energetic short lived wisp in the wind- that is as its short lived nature telling me that I am separate from myself directing myself as life, as what is constant and directive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the trap of the mind, the label maker, where this trap of the mind is the action of separation, this that measures and weighs, labels and collects as knowledge and information, so busy “computing” that what is significant is missed, self here, as life, realizing the value is self as life,  being HERE one and equal as what self is here as life, directing within the principle of oneness in equality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that so many supposed failures are that one did not just keep going, but instead stopped going, where the keep going leads to realizing that the voices in the head that were of “ stop” were fear and thus insignificant, within this, I realize that all the billions of humans and animals and plants on this earth have had taken away from them what is needed to sustain life, what was given to sustain life unconditionally by this earth, have been ripped out from under to support that which is insignificant which is the values propagated by this system of profit to feed the desires of more than and less than of a few, who are themselves caught in allowing the insignificant significance to such an extent, they can no longer direct themselves as life, and thus never live, and thus reap what they sow, which is the self rape of their human physical bodies into a death of no significance, of no transcendence of life, as their beliefs and desires based on object have been made so huge, they are unable to pass through the eye of the needle into what is eternal, as the values of the mind, reflected in the present accepted and allowed system are made too big and thus will not fit through this eye of a needle  into that which is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use knowledge and information to say what I mean,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to - lol- find this mind blowing, I mean what the fuck are we doing?

I commit myself to keep going.
When and as I find myself giving significance to the insignificant I STOP AND I BREATH, I do not allow myself to give significance to the insignificant, as within this I allow starvation and animal confinement, I allow soil devastation, I allow deforestation, I allow rape, I allow fear, I allow anger, I allow inflow as mind and not outflow as life, where I am life one and equal as life here, directing myself with in an absolute purpose as life in oneness and equality as life here.
I commit myself to stopping the giving of significance to the insignificant as what the wants, needs, desires, beliefs, opinions and ideas of the mind as what this is is know -ledge and in-form -ation of what is propagated and sould as a mind consciousness system one and equal to what is propagated and sould by a system allowed and accepted on this earth that places a hierarchy of separation on what is unconditionally given , the support of what is significant , life, here.

It is time to clean up the mind , to fit earth through the eye of the needle through establishing a system of equality and